Psycho-Pass belongs to Production IG

How Nobuchika should call him? A boyfriend? Or a lover?

Sakuya is forty two now, so he definitely not a boy anymore. But to call him a lover, Nobuchika also objected it. Because he felt... well, 'nothing' when it came to that wolf-like-looking guy. For Nobuchika, their relationship is all about sex and Nobuchika's pleasure to tease him.

Don't get it wrong, but Nobuchika really loved to make fun of Sakuya. To looked at a man who desperately resisting his desire was a joy for Nobuchika. They would start it with a proper warming up just like others will do. Kissing, licking, rubbing, stroking, you name it. But when the heat almost reaches the inflame level, Nobuchika, with an angelic face, would ask Sakuya to spit it out... in the bathroom.

"I won't let you do it inside my body. That's disgusting. I won't swallow it or let you swallow mine, either. So please don't push your luck," said Nobuchika gently before went to the bathroom by himself, leaving Sakuya with a horror and painful look.

Sometimes Sakuya would beg, but just for a while. Because he cannot forget what had happened to him every time he tried to satisfy himself. One day, he tried to force Nobuchika to spread his legs so he could finish what they've started. Instead of getting what he want, he ended up kneeling on the floor, holding on his groin which has been kicked by Nobuchika. It felt like heaven snatched away from him, only to be replaced by hell. That surely was the most horrible ordeal for a man.

On the other day, he lost conscious after Nobuchika throwing him away for pushing that younger man to suck him. Nobuchika lost his temper when Sakuya pulled his head to get near to Sakuya's lower body. It made Sakuya aware about how dangerous Nobuchika can be. He's been practicing silat for two years, so there's no chance for Sakuya to beats him.

Sakuya could only do what Nobuchika say, and it always looks cute. Nobuchika enjoys it. And today, he intends to repeat it.

It was just an ordinary weekend. Nobuchika came to Sakuya's apartment to spend his whole day there. He'll be going home by evening because he has a very strict curfew. Nobuchika didn't want to take a risk to go on a date outside the place because he's afraid someone will see them together. They, as wanted by Nobuchika, kept their relationship as a secret to their relatives and friends. This is a small town so it seems everybody knows one another and Sakuya is a foreigner so it would take too much attention if they're dating in public.

Nobuchika is also under supervision of psychiatrist after being treated in psychiatric hospital for seven weeks, more than two years ago. It would be bad for him and Sakuya if someone's revealed their secret. Sakuya would be accused of taking advantage from someone whom mentally unstable and Nobuchika would lose his freedom. His family would never trust him anymore and put him in a strict surveillance, probably would lock him up like they did before. And for Sakuya, as an expatriate, he's got nothing but more trouble if Nobuchika's family litigates him. He might be lost his job, being sentenced for raping and extradited back to his homeland. That's the worst scenario that could happen to them...

Sakuya grinned when Nobuchika entering his apartment that morning. He welcomed his lover a deep kiss, but Nobuchika pushed him away suddenly.

"You stink. Please take a bath first," said Nobuchika.

"It's like we're going somewhere."

"Oh? Will you? You don't mean to take me out, do you?" Nobuchika asked.

"If you wish for it, then right now I'll take you to a hotel room or any place as you wish for. But would you dare to go out with me? Would you dare to hold my hand in front of your family and friends?" Sakuya challenged his partner for last two months.

Nobuchika laughed bitterly. Of course, he didn't have the guts to do those things.

"Moreover, what we want from each other is sex. So, I have no complaint about the place," said Nobuchika.

"For me it's not about sex at all. You know that," Sakuya replied tenderly.

"Just go to the bathroom. I'll make you something for breakfast," Nobuchika responded after a while in a silence. Sakuya has told him that many times before, but he ignored it. There is no way a man like him would fall in love to someone like Nobuchika. He could go anytime, anywhere, but Nobuchika still trapped here.

Having Nobuchika in his life make Sakuya feel alive again. He has been working in this town for three years without having a wonderful social life. People he knew during this period were only his colleagues at work. He has divorced ten years ago and his only daughter hates him. Until one day, his ex wife has managed to persuade their daughter to make up with her father. The fourteen years old girl would spend her two weeks vacation with Sakuya.

Sakuya thought he needs to prepare a rousing welcome party for his little girl. So he called every bakery and cake shop in the town. But with his limitation in speaking local language, he got problem in explaining what he wants. Sakuya felt a little bit lonely for that, but he kept calling until the last cake shop number that he got from the net.

The cake shop was new and seemed to be very small. Sakuya had doubts it, but he kept calling. A young man's voice answered him gently, said his name is Nobuchika, the owner of the cake shop. When he realized that the caller was a foreigner, Nobuchika changed his words in English. Not in a proper English, but Sakuya got the point. At that moment, Sakuya felt no lonely anymore.

But only a day before his daughter's arrival, his ex wife told him that Sakuya's daughter has cancelled the flight. She has changed her mind and nothing her mother could do to cancel it. Sakuya felt hurt. There was no doubt anymore, his daughter still hates him.

Sakuya has forgotten about the sweets that he ordered from Nobuchika's cake shop. At the day when the welcome party should be held, Nobuchika came to Sakuya's apartment with one of his worker, bringing the cake and desserts. Both men looked confuse since they only saw a gloomy man, sitting alone on a chair. Sakuya explained about what had happened briefly, but Nobuchika, somehow, learnt that something's not right.

"I know an orphanage around here, Sir. If you don't mind, we can give them these sweets. Maybe you'll feel better after that," said Nobuchika carefully.

To Sakuya, what that young man has said was weird. Of course he agreed to give the sweets to someone else because if he didn't, it would be a waste. There is no way he could eat those alone. But to felt better, Sakuya believed that hugging his daughter was the only way.

"They said that an orphan's wish is blessed by God. So... maybe we could ask them to..."

"Do whatever you want and get out of here. I don't care. Sorry for hassling you," Sakuya cut him off. He stared at the baker only for being surprised by his reaction. Nobuchika sat down in front of him, giving him a faint smile.

"My worker can do that by himself. I, on the other hand, will stay here for a while. You seems like you want to harm yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I know how you feel about it. Your daughter rejects you, right?" Nobuchika asked softly.

"Not your business. Besides, what a kid like you knows about this? You know nothing about me."

"Kid? Sir, I'm thirty one right now and a father of a little girl. I haven't met my daughter for six months because she was ashamed to have a father like me. We only talked on the phone, but it only happened when her mother forced her to do so. So, which part that I don't understand?" Nobuchika snapped. He looks shocked after that, and then instantly leaving the place.

"Wait... why did your daughter feel ashamed about you?" Sakuya asked. He didn't know how the man can have the similar story like his, but Nobuchika seemed not trumping up about an issue like this.

"Well, it's a long story. I'm sorry for bothering you. You're right, it's not my business after all. Excuse me."

"Hey, you couldn't leave just like that!"

"What? Now you're curious about me, Sir?"

Sakuya fall silent. Yes, it seemed he just fall to the issue.

"Sir..." said Nobuchika, but quickly being cut off.

"Don't 'sir' me. Just call me Sakuya."

"Oh... Alright. Sakuya," Nobuchika replied, awkwardly.

"Say, if you could, why don't we have some chat? You know, between two rejected fathers. I don't know any other person that I could talk about it rather than you. Of course, if you have a minute."

Nobuchika laughed, "it sounds like a proposal for me."

"You're the one who offers to accompany me."

"Yes. I almost forget that."

It was strange, but it started on that evening, four months ago. After some talks about their lives and children, many encounters and countless chit-chats, at one fine day, Sakuya finally made a giant step two months after.

Nobuchika was lying down on the couch, closing his eyes, trying to get some sleep. Sakuya, whom just came out of his room, suddenly mesmerized. He approached the man and then touching his cheek gently.

"Don't sleep here. Go to my room," said Sakuya.

"It's okay. I just want to take a nap," Nobuchika replied. He opened his eyes, seeing Sakuya's face came nearer. The man's lip touching his, but Nobuchika didn't push him back. He kissed him back in exchange. Without asking any question.

Then it happened. It was Sakuya's first time with fellow man. He didn't know about Nobuchika, but who cares? Besides, it wasn't so bad at all, unless... yes, unless the climax.

"Don't put yours in such a dirty place. I won't, either. That's gross," said Nobuchika when Sakuya tried to reverse his body. He pushed Sakuya away and then running to the bathroom.

"Why? I'm sure it won't hurt that much. You... no, I mean 'we', we'll get used to it!" Sakuya yelled angrily.

"But I won't, Sakuya! That's all!" Nobuchika replied behind the door.

"What about me? What am I suppose to do with this?!" Sakuya answered while seeing his own groin. Sakuya's mind would blow apart if he forced to keep this 'situation'.

The door opened slowly. Nobuchika's head swelled as he called, "come in. But don't try to do anything weird or I'll smash your skull!"

The threat wasn't a shit at all. During their relationship, Nobuchika really lost his self control every time Sakuya trying to penetrate him. Last month incident was the worst. Sakuya lost conscious after Nobuchika slamming him to the floor.

"I thought I've just killed you. You've fainted for ten minutes," said Nobuchika in trembling sound when Sakuya woke up. That incident surely has scared him.

But it didn't make Nobuchika loosen his guard. Sakuya still couldn't get what he wants. They always ended up in the bathroom. Together but also separated. What a pity.

Now, Sakuya've promised himself, today would be different. He'd conquer his lover at any cost!

"What kind of play is that? Playing kidnapper-victim?" Nobuchika responded after Sakuya told him about a play that he wanted to try with Nobuchika.

"It's a role play. I got bored since we're only spending our time here. So I guess we could do something different. Like I play as a kidnapper who capture you and do 'that' to you," Sakuya answered carefully. He didn't want Nobuchika get suspicious on him, although it seemed to be all failed.

"But why it has to be that play? Why don't we play master-servant or teacher-student?" Nobuchika asked.

"We could try them later. But right now I'd like to try it. Imagine this, Nobuchika. You're a beautiful young man whom being captured by a stranger. There's nothing you can do since you're tied up. Your kidnapper slowly undresses you and then takes your pride away."

"So... it means you're pretending to rape me? Umm... that's a little bit nasty, right?" Nobuchika asked again with a doubtful.

Nobuchika stared at Sakuya for while, before he started to laugh out loud and then asked, "what role play? You just want to restrain me so I can't throw you or kick your ass, right?!"

"You've got me, my puppy," Sakuya replied. He didn't surprise that Nobuchika revealed what he intend to. At least the pale man understood what Sakuya need to do with him.

"Don't call me that! I'm not your cutie," Nobuchika shouted.

"Alright, I wouldn't say that again. But, you don't mind about it, do you? About the role play?"

Nobuchika stared at him again. Seconds later, he smiled weirdly.

"I might be crazy, but I'm not stupid, Sakuya. But it seems fair enough for you since I always refuse to go out with you. So, let's do it before I change my mind."

Sakuya's eyes got brighten. He grabbed Nobuchika's hand, pulled him to his bedroom with an extremely excitement.

"Just wait there, kidney. I'll get the rope first!" said Sakuya while searching in the drawer.

"Don't call me 'kidney', either. You've been preparing it before, haven't you?"

"I'm sorry. No, I haven't. It just comes out recently," Sakuya answered, treating Nobuchika like a moron.

But Nobuchika didn't respond it anymore. He grinned and whispered softly, "like hell I will let you to do those disgusting things inside me, pervert."

Sakuya finally found what he was looking for. Later he tied both Nobuchika's hand behind his back and did the same thing to the younger man's ankles. It was awkward, but both men tried to look cool.

Harmless Nobuchika giving Sakuya a different sensation. Nobuchika didn't try to fight him at all. Apparently Sakuya has conquered Nobuchika. The victory has finally arrived towards him. The heat has reached the inflame level as Sakuya untied Nobuchika's ankles. But when he intended to spread Nobuchika's legs, those green eyes suddenly opened wider.

"Don't even think to put any part of your body inside mine!" Nobuchika shouted.

Sakuya looked at him with confusion, "I thought you've agreed to do this, Nobuchika."

"I just agree to the play, not the penetration! From the beginning, I don't intend to satisfy you in that dirty way."

"But Nobuchika, if is that so, it means what we've done now has no different with what we've been through in the past. You've agreed to do something new, right?"

Nobuchika sat up, putting his face against Sakuya. Without question, he was in the same condition as Sakuya. Both were sweating because of the heat as their lust reaching the high level. But only Nobuchika was the one who looked so tense. He glared at Sakuya with anger as his jowl tensed up and it looked scary. He was panting and trembling, but it definitely not because of his desire.

"If you dare to do that to me, that means you are no different to them. You're as vile as they are! You're just a bastard, same as they are!" Nobuchika cried furiously.

"What? They? Who do you mean? Who are 'they'?" Sakuya asked confusedly. He didn't understand. Nobuchika has problem to manage his anger was an issue that Sakuya understood. But it was uncommon for him to compared Sakuya with people that Sakuya never heard before.

"They! Those lowlifes!" Nobuchika yelled.

"Lowlifes? I don't get it, Nobuchika. But please, calm down. Explain it to me," said Sakuya. He untied Nobuchika's hand while hoping it could make him calm.

It worked. Nobuchika's breathe slowly turn to normal. The tension remained, but at least the flame has removed from his gaze.

Sakuya put his hand on Nobuchika's shoulder. He didn't hug the man nor did other intimate move because Nobuchika was still trembling. It was a sign that the man was still on a high tension.

"I'm sorry," said Nobuchika softly, "I'm sorry..."

Sakuya's not answering but giving a worried gaze.

Times have passed since Nobuchika's fury ended. Sakuya were lying beside him on the bed, stroking his hair gently. Everything's under control now. At least Nobuchika didn't look so depress anymore.

"It was my own fault. I screwed up so that even my own daughter hates me so much," Nobuchika muttered in trembling voice.

Sakuya didn't respond but to keep comforting Nobuchika. He knew Nobuchika has something more to say.

"One day, I went to my daughter's school in order to pick her up. I just want to see her because since I and her mother divorced, I rarely meet her. But she refused to go with me. She cried out loud like I would hurt her. She was only six, but she could say those things without hesitation."

"What did she say?" Sakuya asked while kissing Nobuchika's face tenderly.

"She said that I'm not her father. That I abandon her... that she doesn't want to see me anymore."

Sakuya astonished and then said, "I'm sure that she didn't even know what she said."

"I was pretty sure, too. So I took her with me even though she remained to cry. I took her to play in any place she wants, but she still rejected me. I gave up and took her home, to my ex wife's house. But the police was already there yet to caught me for kidnapping my own daughter."

Sakuya stopped kissing. He stared at Nobuchika, but the man turned his face away.

"What I see is that you didn't try to kidnap her. You just want to be with her. You took her back to her mother, right?"

"But the police and my ex wife's family didn't think the same way as you did. I spent a night in police captivity before they release me. That night, they put me in a cell with three other guys that I haven't met before."

"What happened next?" Sakuya asked carefully, but silently started to guess the answer.

"I don't have to answer that, you already know what had happened to me."

Sakuya fall silent. Nobuchika is a soft-skinned young man and has the good look, so fellow men that not seeing any woman for so long, might be took an advantage over him.

"You're right. You don't have to say anything," Sakuya replied while holding Nobuchika's hand and then kissing it. He already knew the where the story goes. After he committed suicide which is thankfully failed, Nobuchika being treated in a psychiatric hospital for almost two months.

Sakuya silently admitted that Nobuchika was right. He is the same as those men who attacked Nobuchika two years ago. Maybe even worse because he knew that Nobuchika is mentally unstable but yet he is still keeping him as a lover.

"I've been practicing silat since I was young but I quit when I got bored. Maybe if I keep on doing it, I might be able to fight them. So I started to practice again, although the damage cannot be repaired anymore. Somehow it is keeping me stay sane, or at least half-sane, since I often hurt you," said Nobuchika. He chuckled as his pale hand touching Sakuya's cheek.

"Hey... Nobuchika, talking about who is the crazy one, it has to be me. No matter how harsh you've been treating me, I always stay beside you. I've been kicking, punching and throwing by you, but I still want to be with you."

"Really? I thought you just scared of me," Nobuchika replied. He giggled and laid his head on Sakuya's chest. The tension has already gone, but Sakuya still treated him gently.

"I am. You're horrible when you're angry. But it's not stopping me to stay by your side."

"Liar! If I'm a fifteen years old girl, I might be bound by you immediately. Fortunately, I'm not," Nobuchika replied and laughed. He put his hand on Sakuya's waist and pulled him so they become closer than before. And then he started to kiss Sakuya's neck like there has nothing happened before.

"Great! You're teasing me again, Nobuchika," Sakuya grumbled. If he didn't know about Nobuchika's past, he would run away from him. And Sakuya chose to stay with him.

"Speaking of bound, how should I explain this to my family?" Nobuchika asked suddenly as he looked at his wrist. There were marks caused by the bond before.

"Do you want me to explain it to them? I think it's about time for me to meet your family," Sakuya asked seriously as he kissed those marks softly. No need to hide anymore.

"You don't have to. Like I said, I might be crazy but I'm not stupid. I'm sure that I'll find the way," Nobuchika answered and winked. He doesn't seem worried at all.

Sakuya was the one who is worried. Whether the time has come? Would this date be their last encounter?

"Don't be like that. I promise I'll be back," said Nobuchika calmly.

Sakuya still remain silent. Asking himself, how long they could keep this secret?

END

a/n :

It took more than two weeks to write this. I regret skipping English class when I was young. And, what was I thinking when I wrote this? XD