Each beat of my heart, calls his name, it echoes through my mind painfully, reminding me that he is no longer mine. Pain burns through my veins, my shattered heart forces it around my body like my blood, till no part of me is left unharmed. I can no longer deny it. He has made it impossible.
I will never return, never darken your heart's light, or taint your soul's goodness. It could never be... It will never be. Memories fade... Reality blurs. Forgive me, Forget me. Move on.
His last words mix in with the desperate cries in my mind, amplifying my already unbearable heartache. Tearless sobs wrack my pain filled body as I fall to my knees, letting the unbearable truth sink in.
I will never return.... It will never be...
His voice still rings in my ears, and finally, finally, the tears come. They burn their way up my throat, adding more pain to my grieving, flooding my eyes, and washing down my cheeks, mournfully. The cold air hits the hot tears streaking my face, and then even my cheeks sting. Is there no end? I fall to my knees, no longer able to see the dark room I stood in, though there wasn't much to see in the first place. The cold wooden floor boards numb my legs through the denim of my jeans, but do nothing to numb the hurt that still lingers in my heart and mind. So I continue to cry. I cry five thousand oceans of tears. Eventually I can no longer hold myself up, and I fall completely to the floor, curling up on my side. I wrap my arms around my knees. My breathing hitches unevenly, creeping steadily toward hyperventilation.
"No..."
My own voice shocks me, edged with determination, yet merely whispered through my dry, cracked lips. I force myself into an upright position, roughly wiping away the tears that stain my face.
"No." I say again, louder and with more conviction.
I will not lay here, crying over a doomed romance. It could never have worked, he said so. I knew that, he'd only confirmed my knowledge. I will not yearn to be in his arms, to feel his strength, his warmth. I refuse to wish for the comfort and words of love that should be, had always been, mine in times of need. I stood up, with rough, jerky movements. Anger filled me, replacing the pain, the hurt, shoving it to the back of my mind. I let the fury and determination consume me, embracing it. I glared viciously around the room, searching for the door. With swift, purposeful steps I walked toward it, hand reaching for the , it was over... But to be honest, it never really began...