A/N: Set during 'Club Dead', shortly after Eric and Sookie leave Jackson for Bon Temps. They're always having communication breakdowns; this time, it's not just the communication that breaks down.
The silence was marginally unnerving – all the more so because Eric was giving me covert, concerned looks every couple of seconds, more alarmed ones when I didn't stifle my sniffs quickly enough. "Eyes on the road!" I squeaked in alarm.
"Sookie, I'm not going to crash the car," he replied. "My reflexes are too quick for that." However, he glanced over at me less often, which was a relief.
Mile after mile of silence. Eventually, just when I thought I couldn't take it any more, Eric reached out and flicked the radio on. He gave a little 'harrumph' of irritation as we caught the end of the song.
Have you ever wanted someone who you just couldn't have?
Did you ever try so hard, yeah...
He made as if to turn the radio off again, but I stopped him. "Leave it."
His jaw tightened briefly, but his hand went back to the steering wheel. He didn't reply.
Great, stuck in a bashed-up Lincoln with Mr Moody. Just what I needed. When Savage Garden started crooning, though, I re-evaluated, and made my own move to turn the radio off, but Eric caught hold of my hand and stopped me. "Listen," he said. I dropped my hand back into my lap.
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you,
Give me a moment, please, to tame your wild, wild heart.
Yeah, I could just bet he'd love to do that, with all his 'yield to me' crap, I thought resentfully.
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you,
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
I tried not to think of being stuck in the trunk of this very car, only hours ago, the fear and the claustrophobia that made bile rise in my throat. The coldness of Bill as he… I pushed that thought away. I couldn't face up to that, deal with what he'd done to me. Not now. I couldn't fall apart right now.
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take any more,
Let me be the one you call;
If you jump, I'll break your fall,
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend your broken heart;
If you need to crash, then crash and burn,
You're not alone.
I frowned. Eric had wanted me to listen – did he know this song, then? It didn't seem like his kind of music. Was he trying to tell me something? I was thinking so hard about it, I missed the second verse completely, and zoned back in just in time for the chorus.
Let me be the one you call;
If you jump, I'll break your fall,
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend your broken heart;
If you need to crash, then crash and burn,
You're not alone.
I risked a glance at him; I could see the tension in his jaw, could read his body language, but didn't understand it. "What are you trying to tell me?" I whispered.
'Cause there has always been heartache and pain,
And when it's over, you'll breathe again,
You'll breathe again.
He didn't answer immediately. "It will get better," he said ambiguously, still staring straight ahead at the road. I bit back a sigh of frustration.
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you,
Give me a moment, please,
To tame your wild, wild heart.
"I don't want to be tamed," I said stubbornly.
"Gods, woman, I don't want to tame you!" he snapped. "That isn't what this is about!"
"Then what is it about?" I yelled back.
"Just listen to the rest of it!" he roared.
Let me be the one you call;
If you jump, I'll break your fall,
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend your broken heart;
If you need to crash, then crash and burn,
You're not alone.
He flicked the radio off again, and pulled up at the side of the road, gripping the steering wheel in an effort to control his temper. I waited a while before I spoke, for once giving myself time to think before opening my mouth. "I guess I keep jumping to the wrong conclusions, huh?" I said softly.
His hands relaxed fractionally, but he didn't look at me. "Usually," he agreed, his tone even. I ignored the jibe, and tentatively laid my hand over his. Finally, he turned to look at me, his eyes seeming almost luminous in the flickering light from the passing traffic. "He hurt you."
I swallowed; I wasn't sure that I was ready for this conversation. "Yes," I said quietly.
"I couldn't stop it."
"I know."
He ran an agitated hand through his hair - the one that wasn't currently lying still under my own. "Tell me what happened."
I gulped. "I – I'm not sure I – can," I replied, my voice coming out slightly hoarse. "Too painful," I added, "not because it's you."
"What he did was so painful to you that you can't talk about it?" he clarified slowly.
"Yes," I whispered.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel again. "I think I can draw my own conclusions from that, given what I know of vampire nature," he said, the softness of his voice belying the tension of his body. "It wasn't just that he nearly drained you, was it? It was – after."
A tear slid down my cheek, and I brushed it away. "Yes. After."
He nodded. "I can't make that not have happened to you."
"No," I squeaked, more tears flowing.
He turned his hand over, so that our palms were touching. "But I'm here for you now," he said quietly.
I couldn't help it; I'd tried not to let my defences down, tried not to let it affect me, tried to be the strong southern girl I was brought up to be, but it all came flooding out, and I sobbed. Gentle hands released my seatbelt, lifted me onto his lap. Strong arms encircled me and held me. Deft fingers stroked my back and tangled in my hair. I tried to choke out an apology, knowing from our escapades in Texas that he hated me crying, but he hushed me.
"I can't take the pain away for you this time, can I?" he asked, his voice subdued.
I shook my head. "No."
"But I can help you bear it."
I hesitated, then nodded. "Yes."
He kissed the top of my head. "Then crash and burn, my darling. You're not alone. I have you."
I gave in, and howled my pain and anguish into his shoulder, on that roadside somewhere between Jackson and Bon Temps. It would be a while before this broken heart would mend – but it was a start.
The first song, for anyone who didn't recognise it, is Def Leppard's Have you ever needed someone so bad; the second is Savage Garden's Crash and Burn. God knows what radio station they were listening to that played those two songs back to back...