Forward: I err uh I err aaaaaaaaaargh. I wrote this script for my dramatic friends. They like to be dramatic a lot. We had a class and the assignment was to take an old child's play or story or movie, and make a modernized version of the story. We chose Lion King, because I love the Lion King. I love the songs especially. Simba has a beautiful voice. If I was a lion, and he was also a lion, and if he was a homosexual, I would ask him out. Unfortunately, he is a cartoon character. A boy can dream though, right? Anyway, I wrote this for my group because I didn't trust any of them to write. It is a fun piece to have written, because it is also a pardoy of modern day interpretations. Some things are best left the way they were. I also wrote this so that it would be all age appropriate, but some characters are suggestive, so I think the T rating will have to be applied. I feel very happy right now. Oh no wait, I'm tired as fuck.
Birth of the New Lion King
Scene 1
(Scene opens, nothing is visible, other than a sky background and a plain brown landscape)
Narrator: This…is the Savanna…the land, the sky, the place where life…LIVES!
(Thunder sound effects)
Narrator: Life lives hard…in the Savanna…life lives in the grass
(Clumps of grass thrown on stage)
Narrator: Life lives in the wind
(Obnoxious blowing noises from the sides)
Narrator: Life grows in the trees
Tree: (walks on stage left) I am the tree, the home of the wise. Imagination will branch from me, leaflets of great thought; in the palm of your hand…I grow. I grow, and I sing, and I laugh… (Flows into a swayed tree position)
Narrator: Life dawns on the rocks
Rock: (walks on stage right) I am the pride of the land, and the chance to reflect on the world. I am where emperors and peasants can sit side by side, as equals… (Crouches into a rock position)
Narrator: And life, especially lives…in the animals... (Happy African music starts up. Rock and tree move offstage. People as animals begin to walk on stage: zebras, and tigers, and dolphins, oh my)…amongst the animals… (More cows, elephants, giraffes)…amongst the lions… (Lions move on stage, heavily out numbering all other animals)…and the lions lived to be the leaders, the fighters for the broken but not lost, the life that deserves to live and prosper… (Animals begin to move off stage, except Mufasa and Sarabi) …and of the lions were the king and queen who kept all of the savanna under their protection. The King Mufasa… (Mufasa walks forward) and his lovely Queen Sarabi (Sarabi walks forward). They ruled together to protect the Savanna, a privilege…but also a burden they took on themselves…for the good of the savanna…
(Music stops)
Mufasa: (groaning noises. Sarabi bends to him)
Narrator: But life has its age. (Mufasa recovers) Mufasa realized his times were nearing their end, and new attacks on the good nature of the savanna were always arising. A new king would need to live in place…a new heir to protect the savanna. So one day, Mufasa smiled to his Queen (Mufasa does so), and Sarabi smiled to her King (Sarabi does so), and together…the two brought forth…LIFE!
(Heavy African drumming as Mufasa and Sarabi shake back and forth at each other. Goes on for about fifteen seconds. After, the music suddenly stops with Mufasa and Sarabi frozen looking up to the sky with their hands raised. A baby is thrown in between the two with a sudden thud.)
Narrator: The gift of life… (Rafiki walks into the scene, inbetween Mufasa and Sarabi) …the monkeys, the wise men, were the most trusted of all the Lions' friends. Rafiki the wisest, who lived with the trees, learning what others could not, was brought to anoint the new heir amongst all the Savanna…
Rafiki: (Animals walk on seen as Rafiki raises new born baby) An heir of new brought into the world, to continue a line of old. Look at him through me, through yourself, because the future is told for all. The lines of a new life have been drawn well. Mufasa, Sarabi, have continued our hope. Today…life has invented…SIMBA!
(Animals sing with Rafiki)
Rafiki: Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Animals: Sithi uhm ingonyama
Rafiki: Nants ingonyama bagithi baba Siyo Nqoba Ingonyama Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Animals: Sithi uhhmm ingonyama Ingonyama. Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Rafiki: (interrupting the very last word of the animals) Shutup!
(Animals and Rafiki cheer. Mufasa and Sarabi look on proudly)
Narrator: So on the animals danced and cheered for their new king. A new era was arising, and it showed much promise. The son of Mufasa was a brilliant child, an energetic tyke who would be educated by the great lions, taught manners by the upright Zazu, and the ways of life by the wise Rafiki. But…a dark…sinister under belly of pride rock watched from the shadows...the un-cleansed corner of the Savanna, where animals have lost their way thanks to the evils that cloud the mind. The cloud grew heavy… (thunder)…it grew dark…and it angered him…the uncle…the Scar…(low growl. Fade to darkness).
Scene 2
(Scene opens on the Savanna, young animals are playing)
Narrator: Months…months passed, and the children grew older (happy music), reaching the age of youth…a time in life when we are young and ignorant…but ready to learn. Maybe not ready to accept, but ready to learn. Simba…(Simba jumps out to play with Nala)…the new king, was now nearing the age where the old king would have to teach the ways of life…(Mufasa walks onto the scene).
Mufasa: Simba my child, come to your father.
Simba: May Nala come?
Mufasa: Bring her too.
Simba: Nala, let's go!
(Simba and Nala run up to Mufasa)
Mufasa: You two are still young, but time does not wait, and life is continually moving. So now is the prime age for you to learn about…the circle of life.
(gasps from the children)
Simba: The life that the runs the Savanna?
Nala: That gives and returns to all? (some random child in the background explodes. Nobody notices)
Mufasa: The same. The many names it has are of all great stature, but none can measure up to the truly great power that exists around us. You see children (raises and spreads out hands) all of life flows in a natural pattern. The gazelle are born, the birds are born, the zebras, the giraffes, the hippos, the lions are all born to serve a greater purpose. The birds are born to see far, the fish are born to spread far, the lions are born to lead, the monkeys are born to be wise, the gazelle are born…
Simba: To be our food!
Nala: Yeah!
Mufasa: Well…I suppose so. But you must see we all are part of a bigger picture. A complex organism that functions as one. Without the fish, there are no birds, without the birds, there is no sight. Without the trees, there are no giraffes, and without the giraffes, there are no hyenas. Without the gazelle, there are no us, so do not think lightly of any being, just because they are food. They are all part of the circle of life.
Nala: Ooooh.
Simba: That's cool dad!
Mufasa: Cool?
Simba: You know dad, hip, wiggy awesome, freaky doodiling dad! It's the neat stuff we wanna hear about! So it's all about us lions, right dad? We're king of all the Savanna!
Mufasa: No my son, did I not say it was a circle of life? (Mufasa makes a circular motion with his finger) When we die, we become the grass, and the antelope, and gazelle eat the grass. We also contribute to the circle of life, so that it may circle around once again.
Simba: But I thought I was gonna be king? How can I be a king if I'm not in charge?
Mufasa: (chuckles) You'll see it another way soon my son. For now just enjoy having the freedom that youth deserves. Run off you two.
Simba: Yeah, cool dad. Bye!
Nala: Your dad is funny. So are you king or what?
Simba: Didn't you hear anything he said? We's in the circle of life, where all life circles back to us!
(laughing)
Mufasa: (Sigh) It will take time
Zazu: (desperately running in) Sire! Sire! You're brother, Scar, he's angry! He's impatient! He wants to see you! Oh dear oh me oh my oh may! He nearly bit my head off speaking! (flies in circles around Mufasa)
Mufasa: Calm down Zazu, I will speak to him.
Zazu: He wants to speak about…Simba!
Mufasa: …Of course he does…
Scar: (suddenly appearing on scene, interrupting) Of course I do!
Mufasa: Scar…
Scar: Tell me dear brother…if that is your real name…am I still your sibling…or am I trash! Am I windmill! A random, useless object which nobody is quite sure why it was made in the first place! Why was I made Mufasa? Where do I fit into your circle of life?
Mufasa: You are amongst us just as much as anyone else.
Scar: (Through laughter) Oh really...well then why won't you tell me (end laughter)…why baby brother's role as new king has been thwarted by a BABY!
Mufasa: That is my SON, and I expect you to show respect! He is family, he is your nephew Scar!
Scar: He is nothing but an ignorant child! You try to make kings out of royal fools!
Zazu: Do not dare say anymore to your king!
Scar: My king? HA! I thought my king was a fur ball.
Mufasa: Enough Scar. My son may not be a fully fledged king as of yet, but time will come, he will grow. It is more than I can say for you Scar…
Scar: Ooooooh, snappy today Mufasa. Good fiber you have? So tell me, brother, why are you so cruel? Why am I not fit to rule? Who said I wasn't…prepared…
Mufasa: Oh I do not doubt that.
Scar: Well then tell me what is so humorous about me being King for a day.
Mufasa: Nothing Scar. I have watched you, and I know when someone is lost, when someone is creeping to the shadows. Your ideas have become twisted. You have listened far too much to the evils of the lands beyond.
Scar: Oh Mufasa if you took the time to meet them, then you would learn a thing or two about being a good neighbor…
Mufasa: Have you forgotten who attacked our tribe, our mother, our FATHER?
Scar: (Turns away, devilish smile) well…it would appear as though your son agrees with me.
Mufasa: Simba? What do you mean?
Scar: Why look down there… (Mufasa looks, and gasps) your son is walking in the land of shadows…and look at that, he and his little girlfriend are about to make friends with a couple of hungry hungry…heynas. Oh Mufasa, you should really get to know them…
Zazu: Sire! They'll be torn to shreds! They'll be luncheon lion!
Mufasa: ZAZU! Put your mouth to use! Hurry to Sarabi. Tell her that the balance is lost, and that Simba and Nala are lost in the shadow terrain! Tell her I'm hot on their trail.
Zazu: I will tell her! (while running off) Sarabi! Nimba and Sala lost their shadows – oh – I mean are lost in the shadow terrain! Mufasa is not on their trail – no – HOT! Mufasa is HOT! (Out of ear shot now)
Mufasa: Scar, if you dare try anything, I will see to it that you even thinking of becoming king is punishable by law!
Scar: Oh heavens to Betsy brother, why would I, nothing more than a windmill, think of being king?
Mufasa: Back down Scar (runs to save Simba and Nala).
Scar: Oh yes, because I don't have to do anything now…to get my way…
(Scar begins chanting under his breath, a slow whirlwind takes place, and the gazelle god rises up into the scene)
Gazelle God: (Three people speaking together in ominous voices) Scar, what have you summoned me for?
Scar: I need…a favor, from your people…I need a murder weapon...
Gazelle God: And you wish to use my people? For whose death?
Scar: Mufasa…and son…
Gazelle God: You are mad Scar, what would I, neigh, my people gain for such murder of hierarchy?
Scar: Freedom, and life. You will live free of lions, free to live life your own way. This circle of life mumbo jumbo will end! Be free! Free as a bird!
Gazelle God: Birds are eaten more frequently than gazelle are…
Scar: Well you don't see any windmills getting jobs either! Now will you help me, or will you watch your population dwindle…I can save you…I can give you more than you can imagine…I know how to rule better than Mufasa ever will.
Gazelle God: …Where do my people run?
Scar: In the shadows…
(Gazelle God disappears and stage goes dim)
Scar: Be prepared Mufasa…be prepared…
Scene 3
(Scene opens on a desolate looking cavern, with bones splayed in various spots. Simba and Nala run in from stage right.)
Nala: (taunting) You can't be king!
Simba: Yeah I will. I got all the talent in my paw prints! You'll see the future like I sees it!
Nala: Year right, why would you ever be king? You having a wack attack?
Simba: Why wouldn't I be king, girl? I have the looks of a king, the speak of a king, and certainly the roar of the king!
Nala: You roar like a pussy…cat!
Simba: Yeah? Well, you just wait and see…(singing)…I'm gonna be a mighty king! So enemies beware!
Nala: (singing and friendly mocking) Well I've never seen a king of beasts with quite so little hair!
Simba: (growling) I'm gonna be the mane event (Nala: Ha!) like no king was before! I'm brushing up on looking down, I'm working on my ROAR!
Nala: Too bad you're gonna be the most ig-nant thing!
Simba: Oh I just can't WAIT, to be…
Hyenas: (Breaking the singing, ruining the last note) KING? (lunatic laughter, hyenas come out and are played using sock puppets.)
Shenzi: Oh I agree girl, there's ignorance in this one…don't even know his tail from his head yet…
Banzai: Yeah, I don't see king but I see prime…prime meat!
Ed: (ridiculous laughter) Food (more ridiculous laughter)
Simba: Hey, what are you dudes doing here?
Shenzi: Whachu mean us "doing here"? I forget, where dooooes the light end and the shadows begin?
Nala: (Nudging Simba nervously) We…we've got to go, we don't belong here.
Banzai: Oh but you've so rudely invited yourself amongst our home, why not stay for a while?
Ed: (ridiculous laughter) Food (more ridiculous laughter)
Simba: We ain't afraid of you! I'm gonna be king! You can't hurt me!
Nala: Simba!
Shenzi: Oh we wouldn't dream of it…would we fellows?
Ed: (ridiculous laughter) Yes ( more ridiculous laughter)
Banzai: Yo Ed, I'll pop your pie hole!
Shenzi: Shush you two wild hogs! We gotta help these little uns to their's home. Don't make them worry.
Banzai: Oh of course, how ruuuuuude of me. Now donchu worry Simba, and Nala, just hop on in my mouth, and we're gonna take you right on to a better place.
Nala: (Nervously) Simba
Shenzi: No! No! Get in my mouth! I'm much gentler with my teeth! (clicking teeth)
(Hyenas begin bumping into each other)
Banzai: No! She bites hard little babies, get in my mouth, I won't swallow, I promise!
Ed: My mouth! my mouth! (ridiculous laughter)
Simba: Let's get out of here!
Shenzi: (circling around Simba and Nala) Hey, come on, don't be running off on us! Don't you like us? (Rubbing her face against Simba's)
Simba: Get the bugaloo off of me!
Scar: HYENAS! (Hyenas panic and huddle together)
Simba: (whispering) That's my uncle!
Nala: (whispering back) Oh thank god you have a nuclear family!
Banzai: Wh-wh-what is it Sc-Scar?
Scar: Do not stutter my name you foolish, slimy, ugly, SIMPLTON!
Shenzi: He's sorry Scar!
Scar: Don't speak for him, you're no better than he is!
Ed: SCAR! (Snicker)
Scar: GET OUT of here you filth! YOU will not HARM one little bitty hair on Simba's little bitty HEAD!
(Hyenas run off abruptly in fear. Mufasa arrives.)
Mufasa: (out of breathe) Scar…how…how did you get here so quickly?
Scar: I know my ways around pride rock.
Simba: Dad!
Nala: Mr. Mufasa!
Mufasa: Simba, Nala, I am sorry I could not come quicker. Thank you Scar. I owe you my life…
Scar: Oh…I know…
Mufasa: Promise me, promise me children, you will never…ever…head to the shadow lands again.
Simba: We promise it Dad!
Nala: Yeah, we won't ever come back here!
Mufasa: Quickly, we must return to the Savanna, before many hyenas come. They may be part of the circle of life, but they don't quite understand it. If they see food, then they go crazy. We have to…(drumming and chanting begins playing)…hold on…is that…oh no…
Simba: Don't leave us in the shadows dad, what's going on?
Nala: Yeah what is the hizz-up?
(Chanting picks up, grows continually louder)
Mufasa: (vacant epression) …run.
Simba: Why Dad?
Mufasa: Run…run now. Go! Get out of the shadows! NOW!
Simba: But Dad!
Mufasa: GO! (Attempting to rush Simba and Nala off stage)
Simba: Dad!
(gazelle burst from behind the scenery and chant loudly. They begin circling off Mufasa from Simba and Nala.)
Simba: Dad!
Mufasa: Simba!
Nala: Help! Simba! We've got to get out of this!
Simba: No, we've got to get my dad! DAD!
Nala: Simba! I'm getting separated! (getting pushed offstage by gazelle) Help!
Mufasa: (Invisible to Simba and Nala. Scar walks onto the scene. Mufasa shouts out to Scar) Scar…help me!
Scar:…
Mufasa: Scar?
Scar: …I think (while backing away) it's time for a change…Long live the King…
Mufasa: Sca..r…
Simba: DAD!
Mufasa: Sim…ba…
(chanting grows louder and louder, and suddenly stops. Mufasa drops, dead. Gazelle chant again and slowly walk offstage. Simba runs up to his father's body.)
Simba: (through tears, wiping eyes, whatever) …Dad…
(Dong sounds, Rafiki walks on stage right.)
Rafiki: The king…is dead…
(Dong. Rafiki walks offstage. Scar walks on.)
Scar: …Simba…what have you done…
Simba: NO! I…I didn't…I couldn't…
Scar: …You ignored your father's directions…deliberately…you're like a windmill…pushed easily around by the air…
Simba: What do I do?
Scar: Run Simba…RUN! (Simba is terrified and runs away. Scar maniacally laughs. Then realizes he's the only one laughing, then coughs, then runs off stage.)
Scene 4
(Scene opens up on a desolate area, like a dried out desert. Simba is walking on the scene, in a circle)
Narrator: He walked…and walked (Simba collapses into a knee-walk) …and walked (on hands and knees) …and walked (into a snake position) …and walked (one stretch, and collapses, officially stopping movement) …and all seemed lost…and it was…Scar (Scar walks on stage to look evil) had torn apart the Savanna, and the circle of life became a line of pride…and wrath (Scar walks off stage)…Mufasa (walks on stage)…was dead…(walks off stage)…and Simba…was tired…consumed by the darkness…long lost from life…until one day.
Timone: (from offstage) Aaaaaaaaaooooooowah! My head! (Simba looks up)
Narrator: Life returned in a shrill girly voice…
Timone: OH man Puma, these are the good ones…I like the blues…I gots me the blues…
Simba: (walking up to find Timone and Puma lazing about on some tree branches, eating very colorful bugs) Uh…hey…what's the hizzay?
Timone: (looking up to see Simba) …What?
Puma: Haha…what…what an ironic question.
Timone: Shut up man…you crazy…hey there little lion thing-a-ma-jig. What is up with you? Did you come out of the desert?
Simba: Um…yes.
Timone: Well you better run on back before ya hurtcha self little one. Crazy stuff goin on here. Craaaazy stuff…
Puma: I like the red ones myself.
Timone: Mitch Headberg is my favorite comedian EVER MAN! He knows what he's talking about!
Simba: What?
Timone: You still here? Shouldn't you go home?
Simba: (Through sniffling) ...I don't have a home…not anymore…
Timone: Who snifflin? You snifflin?
Simba: Yes
Puma: Who snifflin?
Timone: He snifflin
Puma: You snifflin?
Simba: Yes!
Timone: Well stop snifflin. You've always got a home…today it's with us, so just chill out…here have a bug. I'm munchin on these blues for the moment, y'all can have the green.
Simba: (disgusted) No thanks….no offense…but…you guys look like losers.
(laughter breaks out between Puma and Timone)
Timone: Little dude, we are losers. The both of us. We've been losers ever since we was borned. I was born a loser, Puma was born a loser. We're losers over here, over there, over anywhere. But you know what? I got two words for you. Hakuna Matata.
Simba: Wha, hey! No you!
Timone: Nah man! It means no worries! It's foreign you know? Other people, other places? Man, having no worries reeeally changes your life. And it lets you take the time to think about things…like…if a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it…does it make a sound? OH, better yet! If a tree falls in the forest…and no one sees it…did it even happen?
Puma: (getting really into) OH, OH! If a tree falls in the forest, and no one knows about it…does the tree even exist at all?
(everybody ooo's)
Simba: Wow! You guys just disproved the existence of a tree!
Timone: Well when you think about these things, you learn…things.
Puma: Yeah, just last week we proved that black was the same color as white (slurping noises)
Timone: Oh yeah, those zebras hated us. But hey, maybe they're not even…real.
Simba: Whoa! You guys are the shizdonkay! How can I be like you?
Timone: Well loosen out baby, loosen out. Just enjoy life (music starts up) it ain't no question of how you do it, it's a question of what you don't like, and stoppin it. Hakuna Matata…it means no worries…
Puma: …for the rest of your days…
Timone: …it's our problem free…
Puma: …philosophy
All: Hakuna Matata!
Timone: So chill out kid, have yourself a bug. Go on, try it, you'll be hooked for life! (He says while tossing Puma and Simba a bug. Puma chows down. Simba is reluctant, but pretends to enjoy)
Narrator: Simba learned from Timone and Puma (everyone walks offstage) …and as time grew on…he learned to live and forget about the past. Soon, Simba was…free… (Simba, Timone, Puma, begin walking on stage, while chanting Hakuna Matata three times. Scene has changed to a rainforest.)
Timone: (Interupting on third time) En Francais!
Simba: Ces mots signifient! Que tu vivras ta vie!
All: Sans aucun souci! Philosophie! Hakuna Matata!
(music ends)
Puma: That…my friends…was a good one…
(laughter and agreeing. Suddenly, a female lion jumps out, looking for food.)
Timone: Whoa man! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
Puma: Swim away! Swim away!
(attempting to protect his friends, Simba fights the female lion. They get into an epic battle.)
Nala: That's my food! You can't have it!
Simba: (recognizing the voice) …Nala?
Nala: (shocked) You know me?
Simba: Wha…of course I know you! It's me…(Nala still doesn't recognize him) …Simba!
Nala: Sim…(shrieks of joy) SIMBA!
Simba: NALA!
(the two chase each other in a playful manner. Stop thinking what you're thinking right now. Just stop it)
Timone: whoa, it's a furry fest duo of friendship…or is it more?
Simba: Oh! Timone, Puma! This is my best friend Nala! (addressing Nala) I haven't seen you in forever Nala! I thought I'd never see you again!
Nala: Yeeeeah…me too…I thought you were dead!
Simba: What?
Timone: Wait…whoa whoa whoa…you thought he was dead? Just because he wasn't around anymore? That's like…saying a tree doesn't exist just because you can't see it anymore!
Puma: Yeah…wait…but didn't we say that was true?
Timone: Oh yeah…whoa…maybe we need to rethink our lives?
Nala: No, no, it wasn't like that at all, you see-
Puma: (no longer listening, starring in a daze)…Yeah…maybe?
Timone: …where's my mom?
Puma: …do I even have a mom?
Nala: They're kind of odd. What's wrong with them?
Simba: Uh…they just think…sort of. But they've been my family for the past so many years.
Nala: (frowning) you know you still have family in the Savanna…why did you never try to come back?
Simba: You first...why did you think I was dead?
Nala: …Scar told all the lions you were dead…I could only assume you were…I was so sad…I missed you…
Simba: I missed you too…(embrace. Don't leave each other's arms)
Nala: Now you, where were you? The Savanna has fallen apart! The circle of life has fallen apart, and Scar is a horrible King…you have to come back! Reclaim your name!
Simba: I had no idea things had become so horrible…I was just so terrified…Scar…and…Hakuna Matata seemed so…
Nala: Hakuna Mawhata? Simba what are you talking about?
Simba: (Snapping out of his trap) Oh…nothing, just something I picked up on when I left…but I can't leave my family behind. I will go to protect them…I love them…I love you Nala.
Nala: I love you too Simba…
(Smiling at each other. Music begins playing. Singing offstage)
Voice: Can you feel, the love tonight. It is where we-
(Music suddenly switches to same sounds made for the birth of Simba. Simba and Nala make the same movements Mufasa and Sarabi made)
Timone: Wowzers, get a rainforest you two. This one is for me and Puma only…
Puma: Yeah…wait, what?
Timone: Hahaha…what.
Puma: Haha…irony.
Simba: Oh…uh…Timone, Puma, me and Nala are heading back to the Savanna. Things have changed in my homeland, and I'm needed again…
Timone: Oh cool cool…can we come, me and Puma?
Simba: You two don't want to stay here? It will be dangerous.
Timone: Aie…ah, you know man…I don't even know anything anymore man. I'm just gonna go back to following the wind…you know? Like a windmill…
Nala: We could use all the help we can get. Simba. The hyenas are siding with Scar, and the lions are falling apart.
Simba: Ok then. Let's head now and rest at a halfway point.
(Everyone leaves the scene.)
Scene 5
(Scene opens on grasslands. Timone, Nala, and Puma are all fast asleep, mumbling various things associated with them. Simba is the only one awake, worried and deep in thought)
Narrator: In the jungle…the mighty jungle…the lion does not sleep tonight…
Simba: I love my family…but so much has changed…and Scar…what can I do about the past? (sigh) Why should I even bother? It's all stuck in the past…
Rafiki: (Coming in from the side) OH, so you don't say little one?
Simba: What? Who are you?
Rafiki: The real question is not who are thy, but who are thou, as thou that is thy, who is you, so say who thou are with thy.
Simba: (shaking head) I'm sorry monkey, but I have no idea what you've just said…
Rafiki: (crazed laughing) Gibberish will stay your figment of imagination as long as Mr. Moppy Pants is still king of your crown!
Simba: Just go away, I have much thinking to do.
Rafiki: (Calming down, going to sit with Simba, backs parallel) You know, thinking sometimes can hurt…but sharing is always caring…and it's phonetic rhyming shows how warm and fuzzy you can feel when giving someone your thoughts for a penny…so how about it little one?
Simba: Would you stop calling me little one? I'm clearly beyond little and moving into gargantuan.
Rafiki: Perhaps physically, but have you taken the time to look mentally? When was the last time you talked to your father?
Simba: I can't…he's gone. He wouldn't want to hear from me anyway…I'm the one who let him die.
Rafiki: Don't let stray sadness misguide you. Look at him, through yourself. Look at him, through me.
Simba: (turning aggressively) What are you- (Rafiki has disappeared and in place stands a vision of Mufasa)
Mufasa: Simba…
Simba: Father? You're here? You…have come to ridicule me…
Mufasa: Not ridicule, only advise…you have been young for sometime now, but now you must grow up.
Simba: That's easier said than done.
Mufasa: Certainly, but not when you have something to fight for. Remember your family Simba…remember your home…remember your life…remember the one's that need you the most.
Simba: I'm scared father…what if the past comes back to haunt me? What if Nala dies? What if mother is already dead? How can I face it? (WHACK!) Ow!
Rafiki: (once again in place of Mufasa, same transition as before. Has just whacked Simba on the head.) You know you'll never get the real image without trying, donchu?
Simba: I don't care if you're a wise monkey, it's not wise to hit anyone on the head. (bit of a growl) Especially a lion.
Rafiki: Who cares, it's gone! Hello, bye bye! Good riddance, now let's la-de-da our way to the ends of earth…or…we could learn from this experience…what was once young does age…the true gift of life... (Swings at Simba again, and Simba ducks. Rafiki misses) AH HAH! YOU SEE? So give me your knowledge, what is the new plan?
Simba: …Ok…(smiling)…I can do this...and I'm not sitting around any longer.
Rafiki: Good luck Simba…on to you…and on to your friends…(disappearing into the shadows (offstage). Dawn begins to rise.)
(Simba rudely wakes up Nala)
Simba: Nala! (nudging)
Nala: Oh…Simba, what is it? What happened? Are we under attack?
Simba: No, but it is dawn, and I've reflected, and I know what I must do.
Nala: Simba…you aren't afraid anymore?
Simba: When I was young…Scar tricked me into believing I killed my father…(gasp from Nala) …but I know that's not true. I didn't cause my father's death…it was an accident. Now it's time to fix that accident, and return the crown of King to the right lion…
Nala: Simba…you are back.
Simba: Quick, wake Timone and Puma, we have to hurry (runs off stage right)
Nala: Wake up you two idiots! (Kicks Timone and Puma)
Timone: What? What! What? What? What? What!
Puma: What?
Timone: What! Why so early?
Nala: Simba is ready to return the circle of life back to the Savanna!
Timone: …What? (laughter)
Nala: He's going to take the land back from Scar, his uncle, who has ruined all life, for the Savanna!
Timone: …What? (laughter) What are you talking about?
Nala: (growls) Just follow us! (runs off stage right)
Timone: …What? (laughter) Hey Puma buba, let us follow the crowd. Man, she is hilarious!
Puma: Darntootin!
(laughter as they walk off stage right)
Scene 6
(Scene opens on a desolate rework of the Savanna. The grass has turned to rock and the blue sky has turned grey. Skeletons lay about. Hyenas are relaxing on the scene. Suddenly Timone and Puma jump out, but remain unkown to the hyenas)
Puma: Ok, so we gotta get their attention somehow. How do we do that?
Timone: Hmm…HEY EVERYBODY! HYENAS SUCK!
(Timone and Puma are suddenly being stared down by Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed, who are growling)
Puma: Oh…uh…that worked…but…we might be dead now…
Timone: Uh right…hmm…wait a minute! Hey Hyenas?
Shenzi: Whachu got ta say Merekat? More slander? Because all I'm interested in is a hot meal.
Banzai: Yeah, I ain't eatin in weeks, damn thanks to that Scar. Some king he proved to be. You all be wise to shut your holes!
Ed: (ridiculous laughter) food (more ridiculous laughter)
Timone: All right all right, but before you eat me, riddle me this: What do thoughts…sound like?
Shenzi: …What?
Banzai: Um…don't do they sound like what you think?
Puma: But what does that sound like?
Shenzi: Whatever you're thinking.
Banzai: So does it always sound different?
Ed: (ridiculous laughter) Different? (More ridiculous laughter)
Shenzi: I guess so, maybe, is there an answer to this riddle?
Timone: The answer could be what you make of it, which could be interpreted many different ways.
Shenzi: So there's no correct answer.
Banzai: No, no, no! He's saying that all the answers are right, just –
(Simba and Nala ambush the Hyenas and knock them out violently)
Nala: Ok, now we just have to find Sc-
Timone: You know that's an interesting idea, what does a right answer really constitute?
Puma: Couldn't it be anything?
Timone: But then what if the situation calls for a specific answer?
Simba: (whispering to Nala) I've seen this happen. They go at it for hours. Best to just leave them be. There aren't any more Hyenas around anyway. Tell me, where's Sc-
Zazu: (flying abruptly into scene) Nala! Nala! Oh thank goodness! Oh dear oh me oh my oh may! You're alive still! You took so long! (gasp) And you brought help!
Simba: Zazu, it's me, Simba.
Zazu: Yes, good for you, we ne…SIMBA?! Bu- bu- bu- was..n't…how…ho…ho…ho…(this line is very open to interpretation)
Nala: Please Zazu, tell us where Scar is!
Zazu: I…well he's at pride rock…readying to…punish…Simba…your mother! She's in danger…
Simba: Mother! (Runs off stage right)
Nala: Simba! (Follows Simba's lead)
Zazu: Bu…but aie…but he…but ho…but…(faints)
Puma: Oh hey, Timone, look, dead bird.
Timone: Oh…that sucks. We should give him a proper burial (scoops up Zazu) come on little bird, let's find you a nice hole in the ground. (walks off stage left)
(Thunder in background for about ten seconds. Sarabi is pushed on stage, showing the transition of scene)
Scar: (Walks on stage right) So…you have deliberately disobeyed me once again…(screaming) WHY?! (Sarabi does not respond) don't you know that your people are hungry? That my people are hungry too? Don't you think you should be doing your job and finding FOOD? Stop acting like a windmill!
Sarabi: (looking up) There is no food left Scar! It is all gone! We have no choice! We must leave the Savanna in search of a new circle. Now Scar! Please before all life ceases to exist!
Scar: This is our homeland and I will NEVER LEAVE IT!
(Scar swings hand down to attack Sarabi. Simba, rushing in, captures Scar's hand and smacks Scar across the face, who topples backwards)
Sarabi: (In a daze) What just…
Simba: Mother…
Sarabi: Mufasa? No…Simba? You're alive? How can it be?
Simba: (Looking up in aggression) You'll find that Scar has lied about a lot of things in the past.
Scar: (Looking up in spite) Well, well, well, if it isn't the little ingrate himself! I thought I told you to scram! Beat it! Nobody wants windmills like you around! You never served any purpose other than to be a nuisance to your mother and father. He's dead because of you! And now your mother will be dead soon because of you as well! I am the real king of the Savanna!
Simba: Mother, how long has it been like this?
Sarabi: Since the death of your father and you. Please tell me what he says are lies Simba. You couldn't have possibly killed your father.
Simba: I didn't, it was an accident.
Scar: You disobeyed your own father in a time of crises, and down, down, down, he fell under the feet of the Gazelle! He's dead! You're dead! Or at least you would be if the gazelle did their jobs right!
Simba: How dare you…my father never deserved such a death…
Scar: Maybe not…but then again I never deserved to be a windmill! And now look at me! I'm KING! (evil laughter)
Gazelle God: (Suddenly appearing) Stop right there Scar! I have stood by and watched promises destroyed for too long now!
Scar: Gazelle God! What are you doing?
Simba: Gazelle god?
Gazelle God: Simba…I am sorry. I have lead myself and my people down the wrong trail. My people were used as the murder weapon for your father's death, and Scar bribed me with false dreams of food and land. Evil got ahead of me, but I will now reclaim my pride. Scar has soiled this kingdom. The land is gone, and the Savanna may never stand again…
Simba: I see…
Gazelle God: I beg you to show my weakness your mercy.
Simba: I will. I understand what it is to make mistakes. (Gazelle God nods, and disappears). You, Scar, on the other hand, clearly have a lot to LEARN!
(Simba and Scar get into an epic battle, lasting at least ten seconds. Scar pins Simba down.)
Scar: You know (whispering into Simba's ear) the only thing I regret about killing your father…is not killing him with my bare, paws. You know? It would have been much more enjoy-
Nala: Get off of him! (Nala jumps Scar and jolts him off of Simba.)
(Scar is suddenly faced with an unfair fight, of him versus the entire Lion tribe.)
Simba: Your reign is over Scar…not even the hyenas will protect you now. Just run away…run. And be prepared for what's out there for you, because none of it is preparing for you.
Scar: Oh but of course Simba (turing his back) you're so kind and…(diving at Simba) generous!
(Simba ducks. Scar misses, and Scar falls head first into a pit of hungry hungry hyena, who's open jaws signify that he has been eaten. Silence grows after Scar's death. Nala walks up beside Simba to comfort him. Rafiki slowely walks up, tapping his stick for an audio interruption. He comes to Simba's side. Simba smiles happily and Rafiki maintains solemn)
Rafiki: Death…is a very scrambled package…one that comes with no need for justification and yet every reason in the world at the same time. We can look at some of the sorrows, true, but we can also learn to move on and find new life, so that the circle may repeat, and live once again. Scar has served his purpose…as will you Simba…
Zazu: (Suddenly running in) AAAAAH! Stay away from me you hooligans! I'm not dead! I was simply flabbergasted that Simba was (runs into Simba again) alive! (faints)
Timone: (running in) No, wait, we don't want ta kill you, we thought…oh he's dead again.
Puma: Should we burry him again?
Rafiki: Maybe later. Today, is the rising of a lost reign, a lost line that circles…so that life may live again. Today we knight…SIMBA…king of the Savanna. He has journeyed far, and learned wide, and about many things he has come to understand, responsibility, the balance of nature, and…(looking at Timone and Puma as they pick their noses)…maybe a bit of relaxation from time to time. Nothing out of control however. For today we rekindle the long lost name of the Savanna (scenery begins to tranform back into the first description of the Savanna), and bring back our life as we know it! This…is…the circle of LIFE! To KING SIMBA!
(That song at the start. You know, that one song. Circle of life yadayada)
END MOTHER FUCKER.