It's been a while people. I have come bearing angst. ;) 3 fics worth of it. ;)
So this is sort of a post ep to In The Red... Or it was at the time and I added and took out bits for a good long month. ;)
"Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest."
.
He has never been a nice person.
He isn't one for sugar-coating the truth.
He uses you. You already know that, you've learned to deal with it.
You've even learned to deal with the fact that he will never
appreciate anything you do.
He takes and takes and you haven't asked for anything back, because
really, you know what the answer would be.
He's a selfish ass and you now realise how often you forget this fact.
You're not his punching bag.
Not anymore.
.
"I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this."
.
You tried to leave once.
He fooled you with promises of better times. He would change, things
would change. He would treat you with the respect you deserve.
He meant it at the time but you should have known that it wouldn't last.
Since then it has crossed your mind many times.
What it would be like to pack your stuff, walk out the door and never look back.
He sees the flashes in your eyes, when you're imagining your life without him.
The simplicity of not having to care anymore.
But he needed you.
So you stayed.
.
"I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces"
.
You were shocked.
After the shock came the hurt.
Then the anger.
He said things. You said things.
Nothing seemed to register until a few hours later when you recalled
his words in your head.
You mess with my finances again and you and I are through.
Through.
Done.
Over.
Well, at least now you know where you stand.
Or rather, that you don't stand at all.
.
"Please don't leave me
Baby, please, please don't leave me."
.
He brings some woman to the office. Maybe to piss you off, maybe to
make you jealous. Maybe for none of those reasons at all.
He makes stupid jokes and you laugh. It's what he expects from you and
you couldn't possibly let him down.
So you flash disgust, contempt, anger, hatred. He knows he's gone too
far one too many times.
You then giggle.
For his benefit. Or maybe for hers.
Or maybe just because it's gotten to a point where you don't even care.
You could stay, make him see that he needs you, make him realise that
you're his partner; not his employee.
But, you've been doing that since you started working with him.
And then there's the only real option.
Leave.
Pack your stuff, cut your losses and walk away.
You haven't had the drive, the willpower or the need to do it before.
But now, well, now you have a reason. A good reason. The only reason.
So when he walks into your office and sees a box on the floor and a
cleared room you are satisfied. You have done the unexpected.
You see the shock, the horror, the confusion and finally, the realisation.
You pick up the box, stalk past him in your too high heels and hope
desperately that he doesn't see the betraying tears swimming in your
eyes.
He doesn't deserve them.
Pudding for whoever knows what song the quoted lyrics are from. ;)
If you Google... I WILL know. ;)