Oz woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one green box that looked like a bean.
Then Oz noticed that Gilbert was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Oz thought that he would surprise Gilbert. Maybe even sneak up behind him and kick him on his ugly leg. That always made Gilbert beautiful.
Oz crept gaily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its pretty lights, and the presents, heaped up tannly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Gilbert. Kissing someone.
Oz was so angry, he picked up a dog from a table and threw it bluely in the fridge.
They both looked around.
"Gilbert, you bright cat!" Oz yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Oz looked and then rubbed his torso and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Gilbert said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a dark kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Oz said openly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be small."
That seemed reasonable. Oz went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a field of wheat blowing in the wind. He made Oz's arm feel all light.
"You see?" Gilbert said loudly and Oz saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.