She Walks With Me
iFrom the first breath of her life
She flew straight into my arms
I used to catch her from the swings
When she was five...
And now she dances on the wind
In a world as hard as stone
She's so anxious to begin
And ready to fly...
And she walks with me
And she talks with me
As she holds her hand in mine
I know she'll find her way
Like the light of day
Cause it's love that makes her strong/i
Our steps match exactly as we walk slowly up the aisle, faces staring up at us, our feet moving in time to the wedding march you chose. Your arm is locked with mine, an eternal bond shared, and the faces of friends and relatives light up as they get their first glance of you in your wedding gown, traditional white like your mother's, the same flowers in your hand as your bridesmaids. Your face peaks from behind the lace lined vail to look at mine, a broad smile which I have known since you were mere hours old adorning your face. My feet seem to slow, the music softens, and memories which I will hold forever within me surface and flood my head.
iFrom the first breath of her life
She flew straight into my arms/i
"Leo.." my wife's soft voice stirs me awake, and through tired eyes I can see the numerous pillows propping her up in the hospital bed. She seems to be in little pain, and cocks her head silently to where you lay at just hours old, ever so softly cooing to let us know you are awake.
I kiss Piper lightly on the forehead, and walk slowly round to your crib, the blankets covering you wriggling with your legs, your eyes bright and green like mine, though you have your mother's face and hair. You stare at me, and it is as if you are really seeing me, looking into my identical eyes, your Daddy's eyes. A small cry, not a sob or a whimper but just a noise, escapes your lips and you break the gaze, hands up to your face, your tiny fingers curling innocently around your ears. I simply look in awe, stare at the miracle you are, my daughter Melinda.
I wrap my arms gently around your form, squirming before me, and I see it for the first time, that face of yours cracking, into the biggest smile I will ever see adorn your face. Pink gums and lips all curve up at the corners; you have the same dimples your mother does occasionally. Gently I stroke your wispy hair, softer than anything I have touched before, barely noticeable below my fingers which I run down your face, memerising every slight dip in skin, the shape of your eyes, your button nose.
Piper's face is plastered with an unbreakable smile, her every inch lit up and radiant and she stares at me with a look I recognise so well. A look of love.
"What?" I chuckle, amused at her expression, checking on you every second.
"Just you. With Mel. You're the perfect father already." I blush despite myself, not embarrassed but so proud of you already. You have not cried yet, and seem to look at everything with the innocence of childhood already, as though you are uncannily aware of exactly what is going on around you. I am so happy, I could burst, as I look from you to her, and back again, and I am torn by which to stare at forever.
I place you in her arms and sit on the edge of the bed as you coo and gurgle, and every noise to me sounds like a declaration of contentment. I could sit here forever, and I know she could too. We love you so much already.
iI used to catch her from the swings
When she was five.../i
"Daddy!!!" your voice floats to me as I push on the small of your back to make you go higher, and the birds in the trees sing. As I watch your brown hair flow out behind you, your tiny hands clasped tight on to the rope, I feel like singing too, and almost do. With two hands I grab the edge of the swing, pulling it up as high as it will go, a grin cracking over my face at your excited squeals and pretend cries for help from your mother.
You know what to do as I let you go, and as I run quickly round the swingset so I am in front of you, the smile I know so well adorns your face, and the newly cut bangs in your hair bounce and sway in the breeze.
You leap bravely from the red plastic swing, your face a picture as you sail unafraid through the air into my arms, hair flying behind you, your eyes alive and alert to the potential danger if I should fail to catch you. But your trust in me is infinite, and you know nothing of failure, so as the wind chases your dress and your eyes dance in the sun, my arms wrap tight around your five year old form and you scream with excitement.
Before I know what is happening you are back on the swing, your puppy dog eyes looking up at me expectantly. I pretend to groan, and drag myself behind you once again, but you know I am joking, and your sweet laughter fills the air and my heart, my hand moving automatically to the small of your back, and it is all I can do to stop myself from crying out with joy and pride.
iAnd she walks with me
And she talks with me
As she holds her hand in mine
I know she'll find her way
Like the light of day
Cause it's love that makes her strongi
"It's okay, Daddy," you whisper to me, and we are back in the church, my feet have moved unconciously; we are suddenly over halfway up the aisle and I can see your husband to be grinning broadly at the beautiful sight before him, of you so pretty and perfect and exactly like your mother on our wedding day. You reach between our hooked arms for my hand, and hold it in your own, and I can feel your strength and within you the knowledge that this is right, as sure as you have ever been about anything.
You may no longer need me to hold your hand, or be there for each spilt tear or moment of pain, but I can feel through you that you will always need me; this is what you are trying to tell me. As ever you have read my mind; known that I am worried I will be cast aside, that your arms will never fly up around my neck again, hair filling my face and squeals filling my heart. I squeeze your hand, reassuring both of us, and our steps continue slowly up the stone aisle, with each one my heart beating a little faster.
iThough I cannot stop the rain/i
The rain flashes down around us, splattering off the ground making puddles splash up against our jeans. Seven years old, you huddle under my jacket and hide from the water, as it falls from miles up in the sky, obeying gravity and in the process soaking us through. I can sense you are about to ask a question before it slips from your lips, and hug you closer to me as we try to avoid puddles along the sidewalk.
"Daddy, how come you can't stop it raining?" I feel like crying with pride at the pure innocence of childhood. Instead I grin, water from my cheeks and nose running and dripping into my mouth and wetting my lips in the process. I try to think of the right way to answer this question.
"I just can't, sweetie. I don't make the rain. God makes the rain, he decides when it's going to rain or if there will be sun or a storm. And gravity forces the rain down."
"Gwavity?"
"Uh huh. That's what's keeping you on the ground right now, that's why you're not floating. Gravity pushes you down, or we'd lose you, Mel., " I answer her jokingly and I can hear the grin in her voice.
"Okay Daddy." And we continue to walk, to shiver, but warmth is found in each other's arms and I draw you closer to me, my breath visible on the air.
iAnd I cannot turn the tide/i
The turrets are beautiful, carved perfectly in your skilled fingers, the moat a work of art, and water sits calmly in it's sandy sides. Seashells decorate the walls of the grand castle, each pretty and unique and exquisite, and as I snap away picture after picture of you shaping and molding the sides and tower, I can feel Piper's eyes on my back, until her arms slip around my waist and I can feel her lips nuzzle into where my hair meets my neck, soft lips tempting and sweet. I turn round to kiss her. She is so close that I can feel her breath on my mouth, her eyes lock with mine, our lips move closer and closer until I feel ready to burst if I do not feel hers on my own immediately. A cry from behind me forces my eyes open again, my lips to close, my body to slump ever so slightly. Together we turn to face you and we love you even more.
"Melinda?" Piper asks, as your eyes well up with tears. She runs over to you, and I drop the camera on our towel and do the same. Your lower lip trembles and I see the problem. The tide is coming in, and slowly your beautiful work is disappearing under the barrage of water and seaweed. I pull you into my arms as another tower gets washed away, and Piper goes to gather up our things.
"The sea's eating my castle, Daddy..... " You sob beneath a mass of hair and suncream. "Make it stop, I don't want my sandcastle to go away...." my hand strokes your hair and hushes you, yet silent tears still fall from your emerald eyes and my heart aches with every one.
"Honey, that's what happens to sandcastles. They get washed away, the sea washed them away. But it was so pretty....." I watch as the last brick of castle is engulfed by saltwater, and pull her head closer to my chest. "But, we can come again soon, really soon, and you can build another one if you like....." The tears slowly cease and I rub my thumb over your cheek to catch the last one.
"Another one?"
"Uh huh. And we'll make it bigger and better and even prettier." I feel your arms wrap tightly around my neck and those words I love to hear come tumbling from your mouth. "I love you Daddy."
"I love you too Melinda." Then Piper's arms are around us both and she kisses each of us in turn.
"We both do."
iI can only let her know
I am always on her side
And even as I let her go
I'll never be far/i
We are nearing the end of the aisle, so much so that I can pick out every strand of tear coated brown of your mother's eyes. It is my time to let you go, yet it feels too soon, as if it were only yesterday that I first saw that smile on your face, filling my heart with the contentment I still feel now. I pull your vail up slowly, kiss your cheek, and let it drop again, smoothly sifting over your face, and my eyes well up with tears. I am so proud of you; you are so much more than I ever dreamed to hope for.
"I'm right here whenever you need me, Mel." I whisper so only you can hear, through tears and the layer of sadness mixed with pride. Your eyes say it all, those same identical green eyes to mine. And I know you'll always need me, no matter what.
iAnd as she walks with me
And she talks with me
In my eyes she'll see my prayer
As she turns each page
Through this tender age
It is love that makes her strong
It's her love that makes her strong/i
Fin.
iFrom the first breath of her life
She flew straight into my arms
I used to catch her from the swings
When she was five...
And now she dances on the wind
In a world as hard as stone
She's so anxious to begin
And ready to fly...
And she walks with me
And she talks with me
As she holds her hand in mine
I know she'll find her way
Like the light of day
Cause it's love that makes her strong/i
Our steps match exactly as we walk slowly up the aisle, faces staring up at us, our feet moving in time to the wedding march you chose. Your arm is locked with mine, an eternal bond shared, and the faces of friends and relatives light up as they get their first glance of you in your wedding gown, traditional white like your mother's, the same flowers in your hand as your bridesmaids. Your face peaks from behind the lace lined vail to look at mine, a broad smile which I have known since you were mere hours old adorning your face. My feet seem to slow, the music softens, and memories which I will hold forever within me surface and flood my head.
iFrom the first breath of her life
She flew straight into my arms/i
"Leo.." my wife's soft voice stirs me awake, and through tired eyes I can see the numerous pillows propping her up in the hospital bed. She seems to be in little pain, and cocks her head silently to where you lay at just hours old, ever so softly cooing to let us know you are awake.
I kiss Piper lightly on the forehead, and walk slowly round to your crib, the blankets covering you wriggling with your legs, your eyes bright and green like mine, though you have your mother's face and hair. You stare at me, and it is as if you are really seeing me, looking into my identical eyes, your Daddy's eyes. A small cry, not a sob or a whimper but just a noise, escapes your lips and you break the gaze, hands up to your face, your tiny fingers curling innocently around your ears. I simply look in awe, stare at the miracle you are, my daughter Melinda.
I wrap my arms gently around your form, squirming before me, and I see it for the first time, that face of yours cracking, into the biggest smile I will ever see adorn your face. Pink gums and lips all curve up at the corners; you have the same dimples your mother does occasionally. Gently I stroke your wispy hair, softer than anything I have touched before, barely noticeable below my fingers which I run down your face, memerising every slight dip in skin, the shape of your eyes, your button nose.
Piper's face is plastered with an unbreakable smile, her every inch lit up and radiant and she stares at me with a look I recognise so well. A look of love.
"What?" I chuckle, amused at her expression, checking on you every second.
"Just you. With Mel. You're the perfect father already." I blush despite myself, not embarrassed but so proud of you already. You have not cried yet, and seem to look at everything with the innocence of childhood already, as though you are uncannily aware of exactly what is going on around you. I am so happy, I could burst, as I look from you to her, and back again, and I am torn by which to stare at forever.
I place you in her arms and sit on the edge of the bed as you coo and gurgle, and every noise to me sounds like a declaration of contentment. I could sit here forever, and I know she could too. We love you so much already.
iI used to catch her from the swings
When she was five.../i
"Daddy!!!" your voice floats to me as I push on the small of your back to make you go higher, and the birds in the trees sing. As I watch your brown hair flow out behind you, your tiny hands clasped tight on to the rope, I feel like singing too, and almost do. With two hands I grab the edge of the swing, pulling it up as high as it will go, a grin cracking over my face at your excited squeals and pretend cries for help from your mother.
You know what to do as I let you go, and as I run quickly round the swingset so I am in front of you, the smile I know so well adorns your face, and the newly cut bangs in your hair bounce and sway in the breeze.
You leap bravely from the red plastic swing, your face a picture as you sail unafraid through the air into my arms, hair flying behind you, your eyes alive and alert to the potential danger if I should fail to catch you. But your trust in me is infinite, and you know nothing of failure, so as the wind chases your dress and your eyes dance in the sun, my arms wrap tight around your five year old form and you scream with excitement.
Before I know what is happening you are back on the swing, your puppy dog eyes looking up at me expectantly. I pretend to groan, and drag myself behind you once again, but you know I am joking, and your sweet laughter fills the air and my heart, my hand moving automatically to the small of your back, and it is all I can do to stop myself from crying out with joy and pride.
iAnd she walks with me
And she talks with me
As she holds her hand in mine
I know she'll find her way
Like the light of day
Cause it's love that makes her strongi
"It's okay, Daddy," you whisper to me, and we are back in the church, my feet have moved unconciously; we are suddenly over halfway up the aisle and I can see your husband to be grinning broadly at the beautiful sight before him, of you so pretty and perfect and exactly like your mother on our wedding day. You reach between our hooked arms for my hand, and hold it in your own, and I can feel your strength and within you the knowledge that this is right, as sure as you have ever been about anything.
You may no longer need me to hold your hand, or be there for each spilt tear or moment of pain, but I can feel through you that you will always need me; this is what you are trying to tell me. As ever you have read my mind; known that I am worried I will be cast aside, that your arms will never fly up around my neck again, hair filling my face and squeals filling my heart. I squeeze your hand, reassuring both of us, and our steps continue slowly up the stone aisle, with each one my heart beating a little faster.
iThough I cannot stop the rain/i
The rain flashes down around us, splattering off the ground making puddles splash up against our jeans. Seven years old, you huddle under my jacket and hide from the water, as it falls from miles up in the sky, obeying gravity and in the process soaking us through. I can sense you are about to ask a question before it slips from your lips, and hug you closer to me as we try to avoid puddles along the sidewalk.
"Daddy, how come you can't stop it raining?" I feel like crying with pride at the pure innocence of childhood. Instead I grin, water from my cheeks and nose running and dripping into my mouth and wetting my lips in the process. I try to think of the right way to answer this question.
"I just can't, sweetie. I don't make the rain. God makes the rain, he decides when it's going to rain or if there will be sun or a storm. And gravity forces the rain down."
"Gwavity?"
"Uh huh. That's what's keeping you on the ground right now, that's why you're not floating. Gravity pushes you down, or we'd lose you, Mel., " I answer her jokingly and I can hear the grin in her voice.
"Okay Daddy." And we continue to walk, to shiver, but warmth is found in each other's arms and I draw you closer to me, my breath visible on the air.
iAnd I cannot turn the tide/i
The turrets are beautiful, carved perfectly in your skilled fingers, the moat a work of art, and water sits calmly in it's sandy sides. Seashells decorate the walls of the grand castle, each pretty and unique and exquisite, and as I snap away picture after picture of you shaping and molding the sides and tower, I can feel Piper's eyes on my back, until her arms slip around my waist and I can feel her lips nuzzle into where my hair meets my neck, soft lips tempting and sweet. I turn round to kiss her. She is so close that I can feel her breath on my mouth, her eyes lock with mine, our lips move closer and closer until I feel ready to burst if I do not feel hers on my own immediately. A cry from behind me forces my eyes open again, my lips to close, my body to slump ever so slightly. Together we turn to face you and we love you even more.
"Melinda?" Piper asks, as your eyes well up with tears. She runs over to you, and I drop the camera on our towel and do the same. Your lower lip trembles and I see the problem. The tide is coming in, and slowly your beautiful work is disappearing under the barrage of water and seaweed. I pull you into my arms as another tower gets washed away, and Piper goes to gather up our things.
"The sea's eating my castle, Daddy..... " You sob beneath a mass of hair and suncream. "Make it stop, I don't want my sandcastle to go away...." my hand strokes your hair and hushes you, yet silent tears still fall from your emerald eyes and my heart aches with every one.
"Honey, that's what happens to sandcastles. They get washed away, the sea washed them away. But it was so pretty....." I watch as the last brick of castle is engulfed by saltwater, and pull her head closer to my chest. "But, we can come again soon, really soon, and you can build another one if you like....." The tears slowly cease and I rub my thumb over your cheek to catch the last one.
"Another one?"
"Uh huh. And we'll make it bigger and better and even prettier." I feel your arms wrap tightly around my neck and those words I love to hear come tumbling from your mouth. "I love you Daddy."
"I love you too Melinda." Then Piper's arms are around us both and she kisses each of us in turn.
"We both do."
iI can only let her know
I am always on her side
And even as I let her go
I'll never be far/i
We are nearing the end of the aisle, so much so that I can pick out every strand of tear coated brown of your mother's eyes. It is my time to let you go, yet it feels too soon, as if it were only yesterday that I first saw that smile on your face, filling my heart with the contentment I still feel now. I pull your vail up slowly, kiss your cheek, and let it drop again, smoothly sifting over your face, and my eyes well up with tears. I am so proud of you; you are so much more than I ever dreamed to hope for.
"I'm right here whenever you need me, Mel." I whisper so only you can hear, through tears and the layer of sadness mixed with pride. Your eyes say it all, those same identical green eyes to mine. And I know you'll always need me, no matter what.
iAnd as she walks with me
And she talks with me
In my eyes she'll see my prayer
As she turns each page
Through this tender age
It is love that makes her strong
It's her love that makes her strong/i
Fin.