A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I've written anything! I wanted to write a piece that involved Inu/San, but that wasn't fluffy. I wanted to explore a unique and angst-filled union between them, and somehow, a LEMON begged to be written.
I was also inspired by a piece of wonderful artwork from Technoelfie over at Deviant Art, called "I Think I Need You". It's a truly stunning piece of art! Check it out here (remove spaces): http:// technoelfie. deviantart. com/ art/ I-Think-I-Need-You-Inuyasha- 8240877
Well, please enjoy and review with feedback. I'm looking forward to hearing any constructive criticism anyone can offer.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Martyr for Your Sorrows
She felt the last hopeful piece of her heart break then. She felt it only after the soil had been filled in, after the battle was lost, after he was lost to all of them, lost to her. Her betrothed, her future, her love, had taken a blow from their foe no mortal could've survived. Miroku took with him the last warmth and light from her, leaving only empty whispers of the life they were promised to echo inside her heart.
"Please, I…. I don't want to be alone….," she had pleaded beneath her, her fingers clenching the dirt that would forever cloak her beloved, her past. She knew what lay beneath the surface of grass and grave dirt, for she had once lived there herself and often returned in her nightmares. It had been days since the dirt had been filled in, and still she shook at the thought of him being trapped and crushed by the six feet of earth above him.
Eyes furrowed shut and face turned away, Inuyasha stood behind her; grieving over the loss of a friend and comrade, as well as for the part of Sango that followed Miroku. His hands showed his anger and frustration; clenching, shaking, and white-knuckling as if that would hold everything together.
"You're not alone Sango," came his response, which caused her head to lift from the ground she emptied her tears onto. His eyes avoided hers, unwilling to perform an action that would leave either one of them more vulnerable. He could hear her shaky breaths as she looked up at him from her spot on the soil and the tremendous ache and bereavement he sensed from her tore through him. He could feel his own scars and wounds reopen. Still avoiding her gaze, he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her smaller form.
Sango accepted his embrace, too worn and broken to return or refuse it yet. She let his warmth, his struggles, cling to her chill, her sorrows. Inuyasha used his angry grief to fuel his hold on her, willing himself to pretend he wasn't equally as shattered. When her arms finally moved to hold him close, he let his stiff shoulders slump in need. Instead of grave dirt, she now clung to the crimson fabric of his robes; not noticing the dirt under her fingernails or the stains on her knees. She did notice, however, the subtle warmth of his calloused hands and the struggle of his muscles to retain composure and strength.
The calm air of autumn was beginning to chill around them and the chirps and calls of nocturnal creatures could be heard as the sky darkened. They held each other, silently transferring their hollows, their masks, and their desperate need for something tangible to tie themselves to. They shed tears previously forbidden and didn't mind that they mingled together in common grief. When the night's chill brought the slightest of shivers to Sango's body, she pulled away from Inuyasha's hold to finally meet his permitting gaze.
"Thank you. I'm glad you're here," she stated softly. She grasped his sleeves to keep him both near and distanced as she nervously lowered her gaze to the grave on which they sat.
"Sango," he hesitated and cut himself off from the first words that wanted to flow from his mouth. Her grip on his sleeves tightened. "You don't have to be alone in this," his voice was urgent and pleading as he leaned forward, causing her watery eyes to snap up and search his. The need for something real, something not a nightmare was evident in his golden eyes and in the way his hands now rested firmly on her knees.
Something changed between them then, as their solution numbed them of their pain and as their broken hearts misted their gaze. They now looked upon each other in bewilderment, as if finally seeing the answer that was hidden before their eyes.
Sango nodded slowly, and a weight seemed to lift from her soul. Their hands met, fingers wrapped together tightly to make sure they were both real and alive. Their heads leaned in to join in a slow and hesitant first kiss. Soon, however, the kiss became heated as they grew desperate to lose themselves in the taste of one another. Sango rose towards him to try to overpower him, but he would have none of it. The strength of him prevailed and she arched against him with a cry as she fell back and his rough hands pushed her smaller ones into the earth, his nails piercing the backs as he held her pinned.
She taunted him with a raise of her jaw, not ready to let him overpower her enough to gain access to her lips. With a low growl, Inuyasha raised himself and captured Sango's mouth in a need-filled and fiery kiss, pleased that she began to return it with a matching desperation. Sango whimpered into his mouth, her arms fighting their restraints, as her hips rose against him of their own accord as the kiss deepened. Their tongues danced together as they tasted each other in a prologue of what was to come.
Inuyasha broke away to tread heavy kisses across her jaw to her neck, where the pounding of her pulse beneath his lips and the heady scent of her under his receptive nose helped him further lose himself with her. He released his pin on her hands to instead grasp her right breast with one hand and the back of her head with the other so as to ensure he had constant access to her sensitive neck. Sango moaned softly as Inuyasha roughly massaged her breast and his fangs grazed her collarbone. He used that as a cue to slide apart her kimono enough to reveal a flash of delicious cleavage. Heart racing, Sango held onto the sides of his head, fingers laced in his silver hair, guiding his kisses between her breasts.
Inuyasha slipped his hands beneath her shoulders to bring her with him as he sat up, wanting all his senses to be surrounded by her as they continued. Sango's gaze deepened when caught by Inuyasha's heavily-lidded amber eyes, and while she was too entranced to look away, a dark blush filled her face. Her hands found themselves pushing aside the folds of his clothing to revel in the smooth skin of his toned shoulders and chest. As she ran her hands across his bare skin, he drew her close to watch as he peeled her kimono farther down with his thumbs to reveal her full breasts and navel. Their mouths met again as their hands wandered across each others' bare skin. She couldn't take the teasing any longer.
"Please," was all that was needed for him to take one of her pert nipples into his warm mouth. She threw her head back with a gasp and was thankful his strong hands were there to hold her up. His warm tongue lightly teased her and when his fang gently scraped against her, he was rewarded with a moan. He moved to the other side, softly sucking and swirling his tongue around the hardened nipple till she couldn't take it.
"Please, Inuyasha." Piercing and hurting eyes met his. "I need this." He felt a pang in his heart at her seriousness, yet he couldn't refuse her now even if he wanted to.
He watched as with a fluid movement, her kimono fell from around her hips and she was propped up on her elbows, inviting him. He dropped his remaining clothes from around his body and moved to shadow her body with his own. He took a second to study her face and found the emptiness, the familiar sorrow, and the need that was evident, almost too much to bear. He wondered if she would see the same when she looked up at him.
Without wasting another thought, Inuyasha crushed his lips to Sango's and lowered his hips to hers. His clawed hand parted her to feel her soft wetness and he was rewarded with a pleased gasp. She squirmed beneath him and a rosy flush covered her body, visible even in the moonlight, as he touched her sensitive spot.
"Oh gods, Inuyasha!" Her hips bucked and her head thrashed to the side as he slipped a finger inside her. "More," she murmured, eyes tolling back in pleasure and yearning.
He knew what was next. In the back of his head, he knew nothing would be the same afterwards and wondered if she knew that too. Yet, his grief-stricken and lonely heart seemed to be pulled by the twists of fate and who was he to fight that? With distant eyes, he took in the sight of her rosy tear-moistened cheeks and her long hair sprawled across the loose ground. Then with distant eyes, his view traveled above her head to the small slab of stone that told the cause of their union.
A mewl from beneath him brought out of his trance. He closed his eyes as he kissed her. She trembled beneath him as he led his shaft up her bare thigh, readying his erection at her entrance. Then, with an urgent thrust, he slid inside her ready depths.
Her cry was muffled by their kiss and her short nails pierced his back as she felt his heat and fullness inside her. Her arched body soon relaxed against him and they began to slowly rock their hips together. The need, the pain, the hollow that lived in each of them left as they were consumed wholly with the other.
They were then lost in the depths of their sorrows, dizzy with the need to feel grounded. Each being desperate to end the aching cold, skin moved against skin to feel anything other than the terrible anguish looming over their lives. As heaving breaths fell upon tear-moistened cheeks, all previous notions of morality were forgotten in the hopes that their nightmarish reality would disappear with similar ease. They struggled to stay in control, yet yearned to succumb to the depths of their own defeats. The blissfully frustrating pressure built as with each thrust, they searched for what they needed from the others' soul, and moaned at the emptiness they found.
After the sheen of sweat fully coated their bodies, Inuyasha gave a feral growl as he finally came inside Sango's depths, filling her with the seed of his release. She clung to him as his body shuddered above hers and with a cry, her body convulsed with the waves of foreign emotions that took over her. His panting tickled her ear as he caught his breath. He raised himself to look into her eyes, only to find them glimmering with tears. His brow furrowed with worry and he eased himself out from her.
"Sango…," he murmured before pressing his lips to her forehead. 'I'm sorry…' She shook her head to clear his mind of what she knew he was feeling.
"No. Thank you," she whispered and forced a smile in a failed reassurance. 'I'm sorry, too…' He met her tearful gaze again with concern.
"Shhh." He tried to further soothe the pain he knew her heart still felt, and kissed her softly. She returned it with what resolve she could find before her mask of detachment fell back in place. "I should be the one thanking you, stupid." The look in her intense eyes softened and that seemed to satisfy him enough to be able to lift his warm body from hers. He broke their gaze, being too much for him again now that their masks had fallen back into place. Quickly grabbing his pants, he retreated into the woods to relieve himself.
Sango was then left alone with her thoughts and feelings. She stared up at the sky and her chin quivered. She wrapped her arms around herself and wept into the soil. She didn't know how long Inuyasha was gone, but he stayed away long enough for her to run out of tears and the warmth he had given her. She wondered if he was coming back.
He finally returned to find that his haori was unused and that she was still laying naked across the earth. With a sigh, he dropped to his knees beside her. He didn't care that grave dirt stuck to her sweat-moistened back, but only that she was still there. His clawed fingers absently brushed the dirt from her scar, tracing it's arachnid-like outline as he tightly pulled her against his chest.
"I'm cold," she muttered listlessly and breathed softly, resting against his warm form.
"I know," he bitterly acknowledged as he tightened his hold on her, draping her bare back with the fabric of his firerat haori, and as reality did little to comfort him. Even the night-air around them seemed to weep for their sorrows and can-never-be solace in each other. Still, he held her as the night wore on until they both drifted off into uneasy sleep and an unknown future.
Sometime later, in the darkness before dawn, a wise and lecherous ghost closed his eyes and smiled bitterly before offering his silent prayers to his friends. The ghost then journeyed into the next realm with the soft jingle of his shakujo lingering on the wind.