A/N: Alright! New Story. So I was working this one-shot simultaneous with another fic of mine, so I can put this out sooner then expected. This one was a little hard to write because Kyouya is such a complex character. But then I said "It's a comedy, he don't have to be complex." So on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

Things in the Host Club were getting messy already. Kyouya took a glance around the room filled with splattered canvases, ink blotted paper, and crudely shaped clay statues. This was the latest hair-brained idea of The Host Club King. "For the 'love' of art" he called it. Tamaki was sketching a client with charcoal. Smudges of it were all over his hands. But he ignored it, and continued his drawing while giving suave complements to his guests. The twins were sculpting each others likenesses in gray molding clay. And with the suggestive gazes of brotherly love they gave each other, they drove their lady clients crazy. Honey sempai and Mori sempai were playing up the cute side of art with a numbered coloring book. Honey would ask Mori what color crayon was needed for panel 3. The girls squealed at the cuteness of it all. He however didn't wish to dabble in the arts by hand. Instead he gave a guided tour of the borrowed paintings they placed through out the room. His vast knowledge of new and old art, impressed his clients to new heights of admiration.

"Oops." Haruhi suddenly yelped when red paint fell on her chest.

Ah yes. Then there was Haruhi. The exceptional commoner they "acquired" almost a year ago.

"Oh Haruhi, Are you ok?" asked Kurakano, one of Haruhi's regular clients. "Yeah. Its just paint. Don't worry about it." said Haruhi while dabbing the wetter parts with a cloth. "Oh but, It wouldn't have happened if I had paid more attention. You only got paint on yourself because you were shielding me when it fell over." "No, no" Haruhi waved her hands. "If it got on you it would be worse. Red paint is almost impossible to get off on a yellow dress."

Kurakano blushed and her eyes sparkled. "Wow Haruhi you're such a sweet guy." "I know isn't he greatest." squealed another girl. Haruhi's growing popularity was certainly helping her decrease the still staggering debt she had. And she didn't need to put on an act (except to refer herself as a boy) she was very natural. Kyouya was always very impressed when it came to Haruhi. And Kyouya Ootori was not easy to impress.

"Fujioka" said Kyouya "You may change in the other room, were about finished here anyway."

"Thanks Kyouya sempai." Haruhi made her way to the other room. "Oh and Fujioka.." She turned to him. "The smock you ruined will be added to your debt." Kyouya said with a smile. "What?!" shouted Haruhi. "But that was a painters smock, it was meant to have paint on it." Then she gave up. Haruhi knew that it was pointless to argue with him. He would probably take money away for wasting his time arguing. She continued to make her way to the other room while whispering under her breath. " jerk"

Meanwhile, Kyouya was finishing today's revenues in his notebook when the sound of "KYOUYA!!!" rang in his ears. "Tamaki.." Kyouya started while rubbing his ears. "You do not have to shout directly in my ears." Tamaki panicked "But Kyouya I heard that my daughter was smothered in her own blood." Kyouya rolled his eyes. "Where ever did you hear that?" Then the twins behind him snickered. "He overheard the girls." they said in unison. "One girl said she saw Haruhi to out with the red paint on her." said Kaoru. "And the girl next to her said that it almost looked like blood." said Hikaru. 'That dunderhead' Thought Kyouya, 'He would jump to that conclusion.' "So.. My little girl is okay?" Tamaki said with a sigh of relief. Kyouya was starting to get a headache. He excused himself from the others and went to the other room were his aspirin was. Yes, he had aspirin on hand. He was so glad that he wasn't an idiot.

Kyouya opened the door only to see Haruhi taking off her undershirt, reveling her white bra.

He froze. His brain didn't register his body to turn around yet. It seemed it was to busy letting the eyes gaze at her. She has a very smooth looking back for someone of her build. Her skin looked so soft that he wanted to touch it.

"AHH KYOUYA WHA…….." Haruhi screamed.

Kyouya snapped to his senses. And quickly bolted out the door. He was breathing too hard. As if he had been holding his breath. He couldn't believe that he had completely forgot about her changing in the room. This was just like the time when Bossa Nova caught a glace at her. He probably walked in on her the same way. And saw the same thing. For some reason that made him really angry.

But he had a bigger issue to think about, what's Haruhi going to say about all this? Well she seemed to get over it pretty quick with Casanova. And she was closer to him then Kassanoduh too. Perhaps she won't even mention it.

"I'm glad you saw some of it" Haruhi sighed to him.

Kyouya almost fell over. Did she just say that to him? He quickly turned to her. "Excuse me Fujioka, I didn't quite hear that."

Haruhi sighed again shutting the door behind her. "I said I'm glad that you didn't see so much of it." Haruhi adjusted her tie. "Otherwise it would be pretty awkward." Kyouya cleared his throat. "Oh…of course" 'My ears must still be suffering from Tamaki's scream.' he thought. Yes, it had to of been.

"Well Fujioka, I hope you accept my most sincere apologies." Kyouya said while slightly bowing to her.

"Oh of course Kyouya, I know you wouldn't do it on purpose." Haruhi brushed some of the strands of hair out of her eyes. "Although lets keep this to ourselves, I don't want the twins or worse Tamaki, to overreact." "Good idea" Kyouya said, putting two fingers to his temple. " I do not need a migraine."

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Kyouya had just finished drying his hair when he turn on the radio with his radio remote. He picked a classic music station then he plopped on his bed. This was the way the third son relaxed after a long day. And boy was today a long day.

No matter what he thought of he just couldn't get what happened today out of his head. It was shameful for someone like him to think about such things. But it proved to be a hard task. He never felt so…drawn to her before. Sure there was times when Haruhi looked very much like a girl. Thanks to the twins shenanigans, or her overbearing father. Her real one. He continued to gaze at the ceiling. With his mind buzzing, he tried to put some logic to it. She was a mildly attractive woman, despite not having much in the chest area. She had shiny chocolate brown hair. Soft brown eyes. She was in fact (although he didn't like using the same words as Tamaki or the twins) very cute. Yes, it was perfectly natural to think she was cute. He was a growing boy after all, with a healthy appetite for girls.

'Alright.' he concluded. Yup, everything about it was absolutely normal. Kyouya dimmed the lights off, and turned off the radio. He slipped under the covers with a confident look on his face. By tomorrow, this will all go away.

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"Good afternoon Haruhi, How was your night?" Kyouya asked while typing on his laptop.

"I had dreamt about you last night." Haruhi giggled.

"Pardon me, Haruhi?" Kyouya quickly turned to her with a look of disbelief.

"I said my dad dreamt about you last night." She chuckled just before setting her book bag down.

"Oh…..really?" he sighed. Wait. "Your father dreamt about me?" he asked with a sudden shudder. "Yeah" Haruhi sat on the empty chair near the small glass table where Kyouya was sitting. She continued while pouring herself some instant coffee. "He got really upset because he dreamt that you were stealing me away." She put a spoonful of sugar and poured some light cream in the coffee mug. "I don't think you're his favorite anymore." She glanced at him taking a sip.

"Heh, why would he dream about something so absurd?" he nervously asked. His eyes shifting to and fro. 'What's this? I thought I had a good rapport with him' This wasn't good. He at least needed a better standing then Tamaki. Then something came to him. Why did he care?

"I don't know" Haruhi said while stirring her hot coffee. "It's probably because you're the only one who he gives my personal secrets to." she said with a slight spitefulness. She still hated the fact that he had so much on her. "Maybe he thinks you'll use this knowledge to your advantage to gain my affection" She had said that mildly, not really having any meaning to it. She turned her head up to meet Kyouya eyes and was surprised that he was staring at her rather intensely. His hands were no longer on his laptop but clasped together covering his mouth from view, while his elbows propped them up. "Uum ……Kyouya is there something on your mind?"

There was something in his mind alright. He realized that he did have an advantage over the others. He had inside info. He could use this to…..Hold on a second. Why did that suddenly matter? So what if he had an advantage? An advantage for what? What could be possibly use 'inside info' for? He needed to be alone for a bit.

"Pardon me for a moment Haruhi, but there is matter of pressing importance that I need to attend to." He got up and made a quick pace to the door.

"Hold on Kyouya you forgot to take off my top"

"What was that?" he said while being frozen stiff and still staring at the door.

"I said you forgot to take off with your laptop." she said pointing to said laptop.

It seemed like hours when he finally turned around, grabbed his laptop, and quickly walked out the door. "Thank you so much bye, bye, bye" And with that he was gone.

Haruhi meanwhile sat there with a puzzled look on her face. "Bye, bye, bye?"

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Everyone there tried not to stare at him. But this was very out of the norm. "The" Kyouya Ootori was pacing around the halls, with beads of sweat on his face. No one had ever thought that this was possible. He was worried about something. The students around him whispered to themselves. In a way this was some pretty interesting piece of gossip. In the years to come, it might even become an urban legend.

'Three times, THREE TIMES ALREADY that this has happened.' "The" Kyouya Ootori screamed in his head. He had the tip of his thumb between his teeth, and the other hand held his laptop. He was completely unaware of the audience he was gathering. 'What's wrong with me? Why do I hear her say such..such….amourus things?' Perhaps he should see a psychiatrist. No, no he did not need help. This was probably just….a phase. A phase he needed to get over soon. He absolutely refused to suffer delusions of grandeur like that blond-haried, violet-eyed, idiot. Okay, time to forget about all this. He just had to get through the day without hearing her say anything that sounded even remotely like a come on. He made his way back to the club with his hands on the door handle. He took a deep breath and opened it. "Well I'm back."

"Hey Kyouya could you put your hands on my thighs?" she asked with a cute huff.

"Wha..what did you say Haruhi?" He asked with a reapeating twich on the corner of his mouth.

"I said could you give me a hand with these ties?" she reapeted with a light groan from lifting a heavy box of ties.

'Damn it!' he thought, 'Ties, TIES…she said ties. Get over it you fool' He rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the other side of the box. "Sure, it would be my pleasure." he said with a smile so wide and forced, you would think that he got a botched facelift. Haruhi notices this.

"Kyouya sempai?" she asked, choosing her words carefully. "Are you ok?"

He choose his words carefully too. "Why do you ask?" However he said it a little to abruptly.

"Well.." she started has they put the box on a dolly. "Your smile just now seemed…..perculiar" "Perculiar how?" 'Wow' she thought 'he said that pretty quick.'

"Hmm never mind" she probably shouldn't pry. "Well thanks anyway sempai." Haruhi dusted off her hands and prepared the dolly. Kyouya cocked an eyebrow. "By the way Haruhi, what is with the box of ties?" She held a couple of streach cord hooks and tied them around the box to the dolly. "Well we're doing this kind of art project were you have to talk about the history of well any object really, and there this girl in my class that wants to do a history about ties…" Kyouya had stoped paying attention for a while now. He was to focused on the way he held himself just a moment ago. It was humiliating. Since when did Tamaki spread his foolishness around, and what can he take to cure himself of this 'sickness'? "..so then I offered to find a box for them…" 'Haruhi looks good in this light.' he thought as the rays of an afternoon sun shone through the windows hitting her at the perfect angle. "…but then Kaoru and Hikaru butted in and said they would bring a moving truck to store it in…" 'Her eyelashes are pretty long too. It really brings out her eyes.' "…I had to bribe the twins with a Happy meal" 'Its hard to believe that she doesn't wear any makeup, her lips seem to have a natural gloss.' "So that was basically my whole day ..you?"

"Hmmm"

"Kyouya sempai"

He shook his head. "Ahh well, yes that makes sense." he turned the other way, adjusting his glasses.

"What makes sense?" Haruhi tilted her head.

"Your perdicament" Kyouya was quick to retort.

"My perdica.."

"Well look at the time" he said pointing to his wrist. "Its about time we get the host club started." the way he was leaving was almost like he was leaping out of there.

"Sempai your watch is on your other hand."

"Don't waste time Haruhi, Hurry up." and he was gone.

Yup, something was wrong with him.

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If Kyouya thought being at the host club would help his situation, it didn't. It made it worse. The theme today was Greek mythology. Tamaki was Zeus, The twin palyed the Gemini gods Castor and Pollux. Mori portrayed Ares, and Honey was the cute cupid Eros. And he Hades (through Tamaki's annoying persuasion). But it was Haruhi who tortured him. She was Icarus. True, Icarus was not a God but the twins insisted that she would be cute in it. They weren't kidding. She sported a plain white short toga that was tied by a gold rope belt. It was similar to a tennis dress. She wore Roman sandals and olive branches adorned her hair, while large feathery wings of white were put on her back. In his eyes she looked like an angel. But I wasn't really her looks that was driving him crazy. It was all of her suggestive words she was speaking, and she wasn't even saying it.

Whenever he heard "Can I sit on your lap?" was really "I could use a nap." And when she said "What is this speck of gunk?" (refering to the spice that fell to the floor) he heard "Will you kiss my neck you hunk?". He couldn't take it anymore. He had to escape.

Then Honey poped out of nowhere. "Hey Kyo-chan, have you seen my…"

"I GOTTA GO!" Kyouya shouted as he ran for the nearest exit.

The club fell silent. No one wanting to say a word. But Tamaki felt it his duty to speak up. "What happened to Kyouya?" he said with an almost whisper. The twins however quickly got over the shock and held their hand behind their heads. "Maybe he was holding it in." they said in perfect harmony.

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The exit he took led him to the changing room. Being it still daylight, the lights weren't turned on. But the sun was starting to set and the room became dim. Shadows of different objects, covered the room.

Kyouya tried to compose himself. His hands flat on a table, and his head bent down. He shut his eyes as he inhaled and exhaled in heavey breaths. When will this end? Was it going to be like this every day? He didn't know if he could handle it. The only thread of hope he had for his sanity, was the fact that everything she said was a ryhme of other words. He only prayed that he only suffered from a hearing problem.

A knock came at the door. "Kyouya sempai?"

It was Haruhi.

She opened the door to peek in at first but once she saw Kyouya there she let herself in and clicked the door shut.

Kyouya slowly turned to her regaining his calm and relaxed self, and was prepared for anything she was about to say, or not to say.

"Yes Haruhi"

"I was wondering if you were ok first of all.." she paused to gause his reaction. When he nodded she continued. "..and to ask if I could leave 5 minutes early today."

He sighed and scratched his head. "What for?"

"'Cause I want you now"

He wasn't prepared for that. "Wha..wha..wha.. Wha'd you'd say?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. Did he really have that bad of a hearing problem? "I said cause I got to get to the library before it closes, there's this book I need to check out on Western Cilvilization."

It was then that Kyouya's brain malfunctioned.

'WHAT WAS THAT' his head screamed 'I must really be losing it now. I mean since when did "I want you now" sound anything like "I got to get to the library before it closes, there's this book I need to check out on Western Cilvilization".' His thoughts swirled into a madness pile of goo.

Haruhi's mouth was agape. She had never been so stunned in her life. And being in the host club she thought she'd seen it all.

"Kyo..Kyouya sempai?, Are you sick?" she put a hand to his shoulder. "You've been acting weird lately with your uncontrollable twitching, and your growing hearing problem, and I guess a painful migrane because you have your hands on your head."

He was sick, and what he was about to attempt would either cure him or break him.

"Haruhi" He said softly. Then he swung one arm around her waist, and the other on the back of her head. The unsuspecting commoner froze on the spot. He touched her forehead with his, then whispered "I want you too"

Kyouya brought his lips to hers softly at first, then pressed harder when she didn't fight him. His lips parted slightly to draw in her lower lip. He then tilted his head to gain better access to her mouth. Kyouya held her tighter as she jerked when he slowly slid in his tounge.

Haruhi still didn't move an inch. She didn't even blink. It was as if her mind shut itself down in reaction to something so incredibly forgien.

Kyouya parted lips gently, then he smiled at her. He felt so relieved, calmed, free.

He let her go then grabbed her chin with his finger and thumb and his onyx eyes stared at her brown ones. "Thank you Haruhi" He adjusted his Greek garb and walked casually out the changing room. Haruhi still made no move. She just stood there. Fingers to her lips, and a bright flushed face.

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It had been about a week since the 'incedent' happened. Haruhi felt as if her world was flipped over. She couldn't get it out of her head. She even dreamt about it. Haruhi would try to find ways to distract herself but found it impossible.

It was especially hard whenever Kyouya was near. She would stiffen, blush and have her head facing the floor. But there was a bigger problem. A problem that didn't go away.

"You look really hot in that tie" he said seductively.

"What did you say Kyouya?" Haruhi said with a frazzled blush.

He smirked "I said you should try this hot piece of pie." and brought a piece to his mouth. He knew what she was suffering from. Little did she know that this "sickness" wouldn't go away on its own. But he would gladly give her the cure. He was just happy that she didn't seem to notice that he really did say "You look really hot in that tie."

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A/N Woo Hoo Finished. I gotta tell ya'll It was really hard to come up with all those rhymes and hidden innuendoes. Oh and sorry for not putting the others in this, but when I did they didn't fit.

By the way, for future references I wanna know when your using sempai do you capitalize it or put an indent like this "Kyouya-sempai" I'm not use to using these terms so please help me out. Thanks.

P.S Please forgive any misspellings or incorrect grammer, I may have missed.

Thank you!!!