Author's Note: SO this is my second take of "Mom, Can I Be...". Since so many people seemed to enjoy it, I decided to have another go at but with Nessie this time. Yes, my first one of this wasn't about Nessie, probably would have been like this if it had been, but "Mom, Can I Be..." was written before "Breaking Dawn" came out, in my flu-ridden, bored moments.
Anyway, this is Nessie turn of Momma, can I be something or other. It's longer than my first and I personally think its lost some of it humour, not sure how, but I wasn't laughing as much with this version, maybe its because I don't have the flu this time.
SO this is for all of you who wanted a second dosing of this style of fic and for those who just want a laugh, Please enjoy and review.
Disclaimer:Oh come on you all know I'm not Stephenie Meyers, if I was I would have added more Edward/Nessie moments in Breaking Dawn and have added this in there somewhere. Ok, I Do Not Own Any Of The Character Nor Theme's In This Fic (though this idea is all mine, so doing it again is only copy-righting myself and disclaimer myself.) Basically you all know these characters aren't mine, but I love playing with them, espically in Fic's like this one.
I'll shut my rambling and allow you to enjoy this fic.
Momma, Can I Be…
"Momma, I want to be Vampire!"
"Huh… What? But you're already a half a vampire!"
"But everyone still faster than me!"
"Most of them are faster than me!"
"But I want to be fast! Like Daddy!"
"No."
"But, Momma! Why not?"
"Because I said so."
"But why? I'll be good, I promise. I'll be vegetarian, I swear."
"I can hardly get you to eat vegetables now! Or any other human food, for that matter"
"But human food is yucky and it doesn't help me grow at all."
"I don't care, no. You're just going to make do with being a half vampire, like all the other good half vampires in the world."
"Which is all of eight!"
"Yeah and your going to be the good one."
"But I don't want to be slow! Even Jakes faster than me! It's not fair. I promise I'll be good, I won't drink anyone's blood and I promise not to get into any fights like the ones Daddy and Jake have at times… (Pause)… What do they fight about anyway?"
(Another pause)
"I'll tell when you're older."
"How much older?"
"How bout we wait until after your seven ok, then we'll explain things to you."
"Ok… but I still won't fight with Jake."
"I can't even imagine Jake fighting with you anyway; he'd deliberately lose if it ever did happen anyway. But apart from that, he'd be thrilled you don't want to fight him, but still… no."
"Fine!"
(Pause)
"Momma?"
"Hmmm?"
"Can I be a Werewolf?"
"Huh… What?... Defiantly no!"
"But why?"
"For one thing it's impossible and for another I just can just see your father's reaction to you turning into a giant wolf."
"It'd be funny!"
"Hahaha…. No, it wouldn't be. No!"
(Huff) "Fine."
(Pause)
"Mommy?"
"What do you want to be this time?"
"Can I be a witch?"
(Pause, thinking) Didn't see that one coming, but…
"Sure, be a Witch! Go turn your uncles into toads for me, okey day."
"Ok! UNCLE EMMETT! UNCLE JASPER! I'm a witch and I'm going to turn you into toads."
"Did you ask your Mom's and Dad's permission before you decided you wanted to turn your poor uncles into toads?"
"Yes, Momma suggested it too."
"Thanks a lot Bells."
"IT'S NICE TO KNOW WHERE WE STAND AND WHERE WE'RE LOVED!"
"It's ok. We'll figure out away to turn you back… someday."
"You make it sound like Nessie could actually do it!"
"She's half-vampire, half-human, who knows what she's capable of."
"Jazz on that bright and unhappy note that is very true, I think its high time to vanish vampire style until Nessie wanting to be a Witch blows out."
"I think I agree."
"Oh come on guys, I wasn't being serious, like Nessie could or would turn her two favourite uncles into toads."
"Still not taking any chances. See ya Bells."
"Wait… Rose and Alice are going to take me shopping for this"
"DADDY! Guess what I am? Guess, Guess, Guess."
"Um a over-excited girl's terrorizing her mother and scared her uncles out of the house… which how did you manage to get them running scared."
"I'm a Witch, so Momma told me to turn Uncle Em and Uncle Jazz into toads."
"Really… Bella?"
"Guilty, didn't know they were going to run scared though."
"Yeah, but a witch?"
"Trust me, its way better than the previous option of what she wanted to be."
"Ok… so you're a witch now are you?"
"Uh-huh, Mommy said I could be one, since she said you and Jake would like the other things I wanted to be."
"Which were."
"You don't want to know!"
"A Vampire and Werewolf."
"Right… No!"
"Aw, you and Mommy are no fun!"
"That's the whole point of being parents."
"Fine… MOMMY, I changed my mind, I don't want to be a witch!"
"Ok… What do you want to be now?"
"Don't know yet, but I'll let you know when I do."
"She's as bad as you."
"Shut up, Edward."
(That night)
"Mommy, Daddy, I can I ask you something."
"Always, what is it, Sweetheart?"
"I can I be a policewoman and work at the police station with Grandpa and play Cards? Playing cards is really important in that line of work or that's what grandpa said. Or maybe I can be a Vampire policewoman or a Werewolf one"
(Pause)
"Momma, Daddy, can I be a Vampire/Werewolf/Witch/Policewoman, please?"
(Another pause)
"You do realise she gets this from you?"
"Oh shut up Edward."
"So can I?"
"Why can't you just settle for being a Hybrid?"
"Cos that's so boring, so… Can I?"
"Ask your father."
"Bella!"
"Daddy, can I be…?"
"Bed!"
"But Daddy."
"Now!"
"Good Luck." (sing-songy)
"Thanks a lot, Love."
"Please."
"No."
"Fine, I'll just ask Jake tomorrow. He'll let me be whatever I want. (Pause) Why is that? Daddy?"
(The sound of slapping foreheads and growling echo threw out the once silent night.)
THE END
Author's Note:For those who have read the first one of this, see I've actually change stuff and added more, which I think made it loss some of it humour, but once again I'm the author, so I'm my worst critic and I'm not run down with a fog inducing flu.
But Please do review, even though I don't think its as funny anymore, I still like it and I'm hoping you guys do to.