Tell me what love is
It was a rainy day. A wednesday. John was drinking tea when Sherlock stormed into their apartement.
„Quick, cover me!", he hissed, jumping behind John's armchair. John didn't even look up from his newspaper.
„Why would I need to cover you?"
Then he heard the door slam open and somebody running upstairs quickly. „Sherloooock", a woman fluted. John looked up from his newspaper. There was Janine.
„Can I help you?", he simply asked, still not making a move.
„Isn't Sherlock here? I'm pretty sure I saw him entering the house...just a few seconds ago."
„Didn't see him", John said, taking a sip from his tea. He looked down at his newspaper again. Janine sighed. She knew John was lying to her but she also knew she couldn't simply walk around in the apartement and look for Sherlock.
„So if you see him...tell him I only want to speak to him", she said quite loudly to make sure, wherever he was, Sherlock would hear it too.
„Bye.", John said, his eyes still fixed on the newspaper.
When the door fell shut, Sherlock crawled out of his hiding place.
„Trouble with the girlfriend?"
„John, as you may or may not know, I am married to my work and not interested in a relationship involving women and love and" - he waved around with one hand, „-all that."
„So, what was that all about then?"
„I don't really know. Must have been something I said or did. Lestrade thinks she's crazy about me. Whatever that means. I mean I can see that she is clearly out of her mind, following me around and keeping me from working. It's distracting when you always have someone following you."
John looked at him.
„Isn't that what I normally do?"
„No, you don't follow me. You are company.", Sherlock simply said. Sometimes he said the sweetest things, John thought, even though Sherlock didn't notice. He simply spoke his mind and didn't really think about what his words sometimes meant. To others.
Sherlock moved to the kitchen to get himself a cup of tea too and then proceeded to walk back into the living room. He let himself fall down onto the sofa.
„Well", John started, crumbling up the newspaper, „at least she is in love with you, that's for sure."
„Who?"
„...Janine."
„Ah."
„What?", John asked.
„I didn't know we were still talking about her. Isn't there sth interesting to talk about? Why would we talk about such ordinary things as love? I never thought of you as ordinary. Thinking about such ordinary things..."
John sighed.
„Sherlock, compared to you, I probably am ordinary. And as an ordinary person, I want to find love in my life. There is nothing ordinary about that, by the way."
„About what?"
„About love, you dickhead."
The room fell silent for about a minute. John watched Sherlock for that excat amount of time. HE could see the other man was thinking about something.
„No."
„What no?"
„No", said Sherlock and leaned forward to grab his cup of tea, „You're wrong. Love is ordinary. I thought about it. It's only chemical reactions inside your head and rest of your body – it's not special. It just makes sure people want to make babies and keep the human race going."
He took a sip of his tea.
John shook his head.
„I guess I said something wrong, didn't I?"
„No. It's just...some-, sometimes it makes me wonder, maybe even a little sad, that I will never attend your wedding or see you fall in love. I wish for you to be happy."
„I don't need to fall in love to be happy."
„I know, I know...that's not what I meant."
„So?", Sherlock said, leaning back again, „what did you mean then?"
John took a deep breathe.
„It's just...uhm...wonderful to fall on love. And I wish for everybody to at least experience that once in his life."
„Why would I want that?"
John crossed his legs. Was he really going to explain to Sherlock what the concept of love was all about? Not that he was an expert on that particular issue. No, really, he wasn't. But he knew how it felt to fall for someone. It was nice. He liked everything that came with that experience. He also liked being sad after it was over, starting all over again...he was a simple man, he liked to be loved.
„Sherlock, do you remember the time before we met?"
„Is that a rethorical question? Because you know I never ever in my life forget something."
„What day is it?"
„Saturday."
It was a rainy wednesday.
John sighed.
Sherlock noticed that meant he wasn't right.
„Fine, maybe I don't keep track of unimportant things."
„So, do you remember that time?", John started again.
Sherlock nodded.
„Yes. What about it?"
„Do you remember how it felt to be alone? Without someone to call you a friend?"
„Yes."
John waited for him to say a little more. But of course, that's how Sherlock worked. He didn't really make conversation. He just wasn't good at it.
„How did you feel?"
„Fine."
John sighed.
„How did you feel after we became friends?"
„Fine."
John covered his face with his hand and rubbed them all over it. He was starting to get angry with Sherlock, as usual, but he wanted to get his point across, so he couldn't start yelling. Not yet.
„Did you feel better than before?"
Sherlock looked at him, puzzled. He probably thought about a thousand different answers, trying to analyze which one would be th right one. After about ten seconds, he simply nodded.
„See, having company is nice. Having someone to share everything with is nice."
„Ya...I guess.", Sherlock said, seemingly puzzled.
„And having that feeling for the rest of your life, wouldn't that be great?"
„I like your company, John, and I know we'll be up together against the rest of the world for how long we both may live" - John smiled a bit inside - „but I don't really get where this conversation is heading."
Ah yeah, right, that point he tried to get across! Ok, Watson, focus. This is „Love for Dummies."
„You'd always be happy to see that person, you could be, laughing together, being silly together share a secret that noone else would really know, be who you really are around that person, be confident and just full with joy...to me, that sounds really good."
The room fell silent again. John rested his head on his hands. Sometimes, Sherlock simply frustrated him. That man was a brilliant genius but when it came to people or talking about feelings, he never really intended to say something nice. Most times, he didn't do it on purpose. He simply stated things.
„Trying to explain to you what the „concept of love" is, was probably my dumbest idea yet..."
Sherlock suppressed the „And you invaded Afghanistan."-comment and looked at him for a second.
„You know, John, everything you just said makes total sense to me."
John raised an eyebrow.
„It does?"
„Yes, it's not like I haven't experienced all of this yet."
„So, you mean, you have been in love before?"
„If all of those things you've just listed, that I have experienced, means I'm being 'in love', than I guess that's what it means."
John couldn't believe the things he was hearing.
„You-you mean you are in love—like, right now? But- if it's not Janine-who is it? And don't say 'my work' or something similar now, okay?"
„It's you."
John smirked and then laughed silently. He shook his head as he walked up and down the room, throwing his hands into the air once or twice.
„Sometimes I really hate you, you know. Stop making fun of me just because I think the concept of 'love' is a beautiful thing."
Sherlock stood up from the sofa.
„I am not."
„What?"
„Making fun of you."
„Sherlock, please."
„No, really, John. Think about it. All those things you've told me about are the things we normally do while we spend time together, aren't they?"
John sighed.
„Yea, kind of. But that's called 'friendship'. You know, 'love' takes all of that a little further. Like wanting to spend the rest of your life with the other person and telling them you love them and...you know...doing sexual things."
„So, I need to say it."
„What?"
„That I love you."
„Sherlock, stop, it's not-"
„I love you, John."
John blushed and took a step back, away from Sherlock. He was overwhelmed as he had never heard Sherlock say something like that to anynone.
He doesn't mean it THAT way, he said to himself.
„And I know I'm not really good at this-", Sherlock took a step forward to hold John on his shoulders and then leaned in for a short kiss. As Sherlock leaned back and let go of John, the man didn't say a word. John was so surprised, he just stood there in silence and looked at Sherlock. Thh taller guy walked past John, sat down on the sofa again and continued to drink his tea.
„Are you happier now?", Sherlock asked.
„Hm?", John simply hummed, still puzzled about what had just happened.
„Are you happier now, that you know I am in love."
„Yeah, yeah I guess."
John sat down too. He looked at Sherlock and smiled at him. He felt a strangely peaceful feeling growing in his stomach.
Those rainy wednesday never failed to disappont him...