White Houses
Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bunk alone with some strange new friends
Stay up too late and I'm too thin
I lift up the beer bottle in my hand. "It's time for a toast. To us, forever!" I smile and look around at them. How did I get so lucky and end up with these awesome people for the entire summer? They lift their bottles and repeat my toast in unison. I gulp down half the bottle and watch as Jake set down his empty beer bottle and spun it. I can't believe it's almost over.
We promise each other it's 'til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day
I look around at the five friends sitting before me. My eyes following the bottle and the person it was pointing at. Jenny, the beautiful blonde dancer from New York; Derek, the hockey player from Canada, which just so happened is where I live; Me, Casey MacDonald the perfectionist who needed a break from her family, which right this very moment was falling apart; Stacy, the Southern bell and Jake the prankster/player type. Jenny, Derek, Me, Stacy. The bottle stopped spinning. Jake slowly leans into her and she turned her head to the right so his lips would end up on her cheek. I began to laugh. "Denied."
He looked over at me and smiled "Think you're funny?" He sat up straight and slid the bottle over to me.
"I am very funny" I reply, smiling. I spun the bottle and watched as it went from person to person. Okay, this might sound pathetic, but I secretly wanted the bottle to land on Derek. He's sweet and he understood me, there's just something about him. Before it stopped at anyone Jenny gets up and screams. She starts jumping up and down, dancing around. I get up and start to dance with her.
Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Stacey gets up and attempts to dance, she starts to bounce around. She grabs Jakes hand and pulls him up. Stacey is really pretty, but she's not exactly the best dancer, she looks more like an injured penguin to say the least. "Dance with me Jakey" she says with her heavy southern accent. She pulls him close to her and she begins to rub up against him. He pushes her off of his body and walks off.
"God Stacey, you're the reason there's a North and South Carolina!" he bellows out in her general direction, but I think the alcohol is starting to affect his vision.
Derek who was drinking his beer laughed so hard beer actually came out of his nose. Even when he's embarrassing himself he was adorable.
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
I look over at Jenny. She's still dancing.
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon
It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
I look over at Derek and he's looking back at me. The small fire we'd made turned his bright red shirt orange. I looked down at him and put out my hand. I smiled. "Dance with me." I pulled him over to where the rest of them were dancing and set hand onto his neck and resting my head on his chest.
He puts his hand on my chin and slowly lifts up my face, so that I'm looking him straight in the eyes. "You look beautiful" he said, his eyes soft and sincere. He took my hand in his and put his other on my waist. I felt my insides screech to a halt. All my organs felt like they'd been frozen and I look down at my feet. How could one guy make me feel so tingly inside? I've never felt like this before.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
"You know a girl like you is harder to find than a blonde virgin?" I look up at him and laugh. How was I so lucky to find such a sweet guy? He's perfect. I still have the smile on my face. I slowly bring my lips to his and place my hands on his cheeks. I slowly slide my lips across his and step back, still smiling.
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
He pulled me closer to his body. "You wanna get out of here?" he asked. His eyes twinkled in the fire's light.
I felt my eyes flutter a few times, surprised at his question. I give him my best seductive smile and nodded. "If you're not too intimidated." I turn on my heels and swung my hips from side to side a little more than usual, for his viewing pleasure. I think it's time to show him just how much I like him.
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
I feel his warm, soft lips on mine. I slip my tongue over his bottom lip, asking for access to his mouth. A smirk forms on his lips. He was getting too cocky. I bite down on his lip gently and bring my mouth to his ear. "Open up Casanova."
He smiles as I lean back. He places is hands on my hips. "What ever you say princess." I crash my lips onto his and explore inside his mouth; our tongues battling for control. He slides his hand up my shirt and slowly peppers my neck with kisses. Soft little moans escape my lips and I feel a familiar thumming feeling between my legs. It was getting way to hot in here.
I feel him go down to my center and my stomach tightens. Normally I would have shooed his hand away, but it felt so good and what was wrong with feeling good? I got comfortable in to the back seat and pulled on his collar; bringing his face closer to mine.
It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
He is on his hands and knees; his face towering over mine. I pull on his jeans zipper and I could feel his hard on. I push my shirt up and my jeans down I pulled his shirt over his head as he took care of his jeans. He unclips my bra and starts exploring my newly uncovered skin. Slowly at first, then harder and faster. I felt a rush of adrenaline go through me; I was as ready as I was ever going to be.
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
He slips on a condom and slips down, closer to my heaving stomach. My breathing was heavy as he slowly got closer and closer. I am about to burst. I bring my knees together and fumble with them until I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted him so bad and I couldn't wait any longer. He finally finds my center and slips himself into me. I dug my fingers into his back and let out a groan. It hurt, like he was tearing me apart, which technically he was, and I know what you're thinking; you're a virgin?! Yes I am, but I think its time for me to let it go and I think he's the one. The hurt was intense, my center was burning and I couldn't help but yell as he pushed himself into me more and more. With a few more thrusts it was over and for some reason I didn't feel as great as I thought I would have. Is that what I've been waiting for?
---
I got out of the car and clutched my shirt tightly around my skin. I felt dirty, like I couldn't wash away what I had just done. My skin felt sticky. I wanted to get this feeling off of me. But I couldn't; it wouldn't go away. I couldn't see the stars; the sky was too cloudy; kind of like how my body felt. I ran, my shoes in hand, to my small bunk and slowly set myself down. Tears stained my face as I pulled my legs up to my chest. I was still sore and it hurt to sit like this, but I deserved it. I should be in pain. I thought I would feel different after. All I feel is like I've just lost a part of me. Like I'm empty and my brain's been placed in a different body and another universe. This isn't me. I'm Casey MacDonald, perfectionist and do-gooder, not the whore who loses her virginity on vacation with some guy who wasn't even her boyfriend. I don't even know if he likes me as much as I like him. This crazy! This isn't me! We're not even together!
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
The tears came out faster and harder this time. I looked out the window only to see Stacey and Jenny fighting again. I spot Derek and Jake. Derek says something and Jake smirks. They do the guy hand shake and Jake hand Derek some bills. I star longer and for a second his gaze was caught with mine. A flash of guilt took over his face, only for a second. He quickly turned back to Jake and plastered that smirk of his onto his face. I look down at myself. I felt used. My entire body felt numb and I knew what I had to do now.
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
I pack my pink duffle bag and look over at the clock, 4:56. The sun is slowly rising sending out rays of lights onto the many little houses along the shore. I look around at the empty beds. I'm going to miss this tiny little apartment.
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I look back at the little house I'm leaving and smile. What happened here; stays here. I made my way across the beach to the local street to get a cab to the airport.
I lie; put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
Derek looks down at his bed and sees a pink note. It smelled like her, but she was gone. Her bed is made and her clothes are missing. He picks up the note and reads it over.
Maybe you'll remember me.
What I gave is yours to keep or in your case spend.
The Bet
On the back were lyrics to a song. The title read White Houses.
And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses