Warning! Yaoi! Shassie and RussiaxAmerica and a little ShawnxAlfred. :D I had the strangets idea to put my two fav pairings together. o-o I tried. Sorry if this is a fail. Another Warning! Written on my Iphone so grammar and spelling mistakes will be found .

Chapter One: Abercrombie and Fitch modle

The day had started out so normal for them. Shawn has dropped by unanounced with his partner in crime in tow. The two paraded into the cheifs office as usual and made a scene before talkign about something completely off topic. Eventually they were kicked out and made their way to lassiters desk.

Well Shawn made his was there Guster followed as the ever loyal friend. Some would say their realtionship was weird but to people who knew them it was something to be admired. Friendships like the one they had were rarely seen.

Shawn sat on the detectives desk and started his usual torment or fliritng as some called it.

"Now Lassie. I know you need my help. Do not try to deny it I know you too well. So how about I do you a favor? You don't have to ask and I will just go ahead and help anyway "

The detective looked up from his work his eyes narrowing slowly. "Spencer. Get off my desk and out of my sight. If I catch you near this case there will be consequences. Understood?"

The psychic just smiled. "Kinky Lassie."

The blue eyed detective chose to roll his eyes and ignore the statement by going back to work. It wasn't that he hated the phsyic. No. It was something he couldn't understand himself. As the years passed he found himself no longer hating the psychic and feeling something else. He wouldn't think about it too long. If he did his mind tended to wonder onto things he really not think about. Well, he shouldn't about it when the person of his twisted fantasies was sitting right in front of him. Maybe later on he would..

As his mind staretd to wonder he could feel his face grow red. He bagan to focused intently on his work to keep his mind from going down the wrong track. He was trying his best ignore the man sitting in front of him completely.

Think of something else. Think of something else. Puppies. Cats. The old man across the street that steals my newspaper.

He clentched his jaw becoming angry again. There we go. That old bag of bones was nothing but a liar and a theif. Disability my ass.

Shawn frowned at so little anger he got out of the other man. He wanted to see him full of energy and fire. Looking into those baby blue when they were full of emotion was one of the best parts of his day. As Shawn opened his mouth to pester Lassiter again his friend nudged him with his elbow.

"Stop poking a sleeping bear, Shawn."

"Awwww you just compared Lassie to a teddy bear, how cute."

"Not a teddy bear, Shawn! A grizzly bear! One that is especially angry when you poke it with a stick. He will come at you and eat you or in this case shoot you."

"Lassie wouldn't shoot me...I think"

Carlton gave a have chuckle at Shawn's unsure statement, making Shawn smile and Guster shake his head. The three continued their dayly ritual of arguing and snarky remarks. Eventually it turned died down to the two best friends having a childish arguement.

"Ok...so let me get this straight. You are saying if you were in his shoes you wouldn't evolve pikachu?"

"No. Pikachu is fine the way it is."

"But raichu is so much better!

"It doesn't matter, Shawn. I would love it the way it is and let it make it's own choice to evolve."

"That's a lie. You wouldn't even keep it."

"Yeah well, you know how I feel about how they torture those little animals and keep them trapped in small balls the entire day."

"Dude, Professor Oak takes care of them and lets them roam around at his place."

"Not when they're with the trainer, Shawn!"

"Don't you two have anything better to do than sit here talking about 'Cartoons'!" The head detective yelled not being able to stand it anymore.

The fake psychic opened his mouth to retort, but was quickly silenced when he heard a voice from behind.

"Are you the psychic detective?"

Shawn smiled and leaned down close to the head detective. "As a matter of fact I think I just got something."

Lassiter shook his head as Shawn all but twirled around smiling.

"As a matter of fact, I am. My name is Ash Ketchum and this is my partner pika..." He trailed off finally looking at the man. Before him stood a tall blonde in what looked like a aviator jacket and a pair of worn out jeans. He stood tall, looking down at the psychic. A pair of pround looking black rimmed glasses sat on his nose. All that would have made anyone do a double take. It was no suprise the man before him was handsome, but what stopped him in his tracks were his eyes.

Those eyes..

The man's eyes were like nothing he had ever seen before. They were blue and not Lassiter soft baby blue. The eyes were dark and looked almost electric. It made him stare. The eyes were so strange, so beautiful and yet so...unnatural.

The psychic must have been staring for a while because Gus had to interviene. He cleared his throat before speaking on behalf of his friend.

"I am sorry. He has poor blood sugar, you'll have to excuse his behavior. I am Burton Guster. It is a pleasure to meet you."

Guster held out his hand to shake and blue eyes blinked releasing Shawn form their hypnotic gaze. The man smiled a charming smile. Not suprising he had a ten wat smile.

"It's ok." he chuckled more to himself than anything and shook his hand. Upon pulling away Gus held hid hand in pain. Shawn would have cracked a joke but as soon as he was released from the gaze Shawn turned away flustered. Taking a breath he looked to his side and was suprised to see Lassiter standing at full attention his eyes narrowed at the man in front of them with his arms crossed and some unreadable expression on his face.

The man continued. "I am sorry Mr. Katchum, but the Psychic I am looking for named Shawn Spencer."

Shawn blinked looking back at him. "That's me..." he said making sure to avoid looking directly in his eyes again. This time Shawn noticed as Lassiter moved and walked over next to him. He could feel the detectives eyes on him. Shaking himself off he tried to act normal again. "I would have given you my real name but the last time that happened..." he looked over at Lassiter who in returned narrowed his eyes in warning. "Anyways, how may we help you Mr?"

"Alfred. Alfred F. Jones, but please call me Al. I need your help in finding a missing object."

Sawn smiled. "Well Al you came to the right person. If anyone can find said object it is me. Now what are we lookin' for? A pricless jewel perhaps?"

Alfred rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "A scarf."

Guster pondered this a moment. "Okay is there anything you can tell us about the scarf?"

"Well...it's baige and made of wool."

Shawn frowned. "Anything else? like is is torn? Are there any stains?"

Alfred thought a moment crossing his arms and looking down at the floor. "I don't know..."

Lassiter snorted. "You don't know what your own scarf looks like?"

It was clear to see thatCarlton offically labled Alfred as a idiot and Shawn was confused as to why. They had only known the guy for like two minutes. Shawn gave Lassiter a look. He looked back the expression on his face saying "what?".

Alfred continued. "It isn't my scarf. It's my friends."

Lassiter again snorted. Gus and Shawn looked at him with interest. "If it is his scarf then why isnt he the one here looking for it?"

Alfred let out a tired sigh. "Well the scarf means a lot to him and he got pretty upset when it dissapeared. And when he is upset-"

"Is he a danger to you or the people around you when he is upset?" Lassiter asked suddenly switching to cop mode.

Alfred blinked before smiling. "Well of course he is, but that's not what I was going to say. When he is upset he tends to speak Russian."

The three looked a little suprised.

"Russian? " Guster asked wanting to know if he heard him right.

Shawn ignored the question. "So where was the last place he had it?"

"That's just it. We did not lose it. It was stolen."

"Stolen?" Lassiter asked not believing him. "What makes you think someone would want to steal a wool scarf? Go back home and do a double check play boy it's probably in some odd place"

Shawn and Guster raised a brow looking at one another.

Alfred sighed. "We saw the person take it. In fact it was stolen off his neck."

Shawn looked suprised. "Off his neck? How did they manage that?"

"We were walking in a crowd of people and someone came up behind him and grabbed the back of it and yanked it right off his neck."

The three were quite for a moment. Guster was the first to speak. "How...odd."

Alfred nodded his arms crossed. "So can you help or not?"

Lassiter took the moment to cut in again. "If it was stolen you have to talk with us about it. We can try and get it back."

Alfred gave a childish pout. "But I do not want to involve the police."

Lassiter frowned "And why not?"

"I mean it is just a scarf and all. I don't want to drag the police in over a scarf."

"Yeah well, what do you plan to do if the Olsen twins find it? Ask for it back nicely?"

Alfred just smiled. "We will cross that bridge when we get to it."

Lassiter gave him a disbelieving look.

Shawn stood between them and put a hand on Alfed's shoulder. "Lassie don't scare our client."

Lassiter just snorted, glaring daggers at where Shawns hand was. Alfred raised a brow and tried to hide his smile.

Gus frowned his thought still on the scarf. "Al can you show us where the scarf was stolen from you."

He nodded. "Of course. To the Alfredmobile!" he yelled darting off.

Shawn smiled and followed while shouting. "Shot gun!"

This guy is turning out to be fun. Even if his eyes are creepy. Shawn laughed at himself for being so shaken by Al's eyes. After all that's the way he was born so he couldn't help it.

Gus taken back by the sudden outburst too a moment to catch up with them.

None of them noticed a distrought Lassiter standing there watching them leave. After they had left he continued to stand there. Shawn had just run off with some Abercrombie and Fitch modle. He wasn't taking it too well.

"Carlton?" a voice asked quietly.

He snapped his head to the right to see Juliet standing there worried.

"Are you alright? You've been standing there a while now."

Carlton scowled. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? He can run off with that Abercrombie and Fitch modle and it doesn't faze me. Why the hell would I care?"

The blonde blinked. "Shawn ran off with a Abercrombie and Fitch modle?"

Lssiter just turned and walked away.

In the end Shawn did not get shotgun,but it was not like he complained. When they had finally reached the 'Alfredmobile' they stopped to apprecieate it's beauty.

"Gus?..."

"Yeah, Shawn?"

"I think I'm gonna burst into tears of joy."

"Me too."

Before the men sat a shiny red mustang. Alfed smiled proudly. "Yeah, ain't she beautiful? And check this out!"

Alfred opened the drivers side and honked the horn. The horn from the Dukes of Hazard sounded off loudly.

"Gus when we get to the office check 'ride in the world's greatest car' off our bucket list."

Gus smiled. "You know that's right."

Alfred smiled and put the top down. "Come on Bo and Luke get in the back."

So now Shawn and Gus rode in the back, hitting on girls at a every stop sign or red light until the car came to a stop. The two jumped out the sides of the car and waited for the tall blonde. Alfred casually got out and walked to the other side of the street.

"Okay so we were leaving the coffe shop." he stated pointing to the coffeeshop a couple stores down. "And we started walking until we made it here." he said opening his arms and standing in the spot. "That's when a man yanked the scarf and took off."

Shawned pondered this information while looking around. A moment after he nodded.

"We need that tape." he said pointing at the video camera outside the coffeeshop. "Sorry Alfie, but if we want that tape we have to invole the po po."

Alfred frowned at that bit of informatoin. "Can't we just try and ask them nicely for it?"

The detectives shook their heads laughing.

"Oh you poor naive thing." Shawn said shaking his head.

As soon as the laughter died down they looked at one another. "It might work." Shawn admited.

Gus nodded. "Yeah I kind of figured it would before you started laughing."

Alfred smiled at the two friends in the corner of the coffeeshop. The two were going on and on about how the cups were designed. He watched as Shawn held up his coffee cup and explain how the design was not made for him.

He thought the two would be strange. When he looked they up he hoped he would get results. So far it was going well. They had got the tape with little to no trouble at all. All three sat and watched as a man in a black hoodie snatched the scarf before taking off down the steet. Alfred had thought the man would eb hard to find and was suprised when the psychic said he had a strong vibe as to where and who the scarf theif was.

Shaking his head he sipped his coffe and headed over to the table with the two. As they both continued to argue Alfred's thoughts drifted. He really hoped Shawn could find this scarf. Ivan had literally gone mad without it. If the psychic could not find the scarf he would have to go to the police. Something he really did not want to do. Being what he was it was best to stay away from such attention. If he went to the cops he would have to fill out all kinds of information. Not with the psychic. This was the safest he could get for finding the scarf. Well, somewhat safe. Shawn was psychic and that was bad. He could tell the boy sensed something off about him earlier. The way Shawn had stared at his eyes was nothing new. Many humans looked at their eyes with awe; some even fainted. But Shawn did not faint and he did not look in awe either. The look was one of curiosity. The one look he could not afford. If he got too curious that would be the end of he usefullness. Sighing he took a big sip of his coffee. He started out the window until he noticed the two had become too quiet. Looking over the blonde blinked, suprised the two were staring at him.

"What?" he asked frowning

"Dude..." Shawn started. "Didn't that hurt?"

He blinked looing to see what Shawn was pointing at. Looking at his coffee he mentally smacked himself.

"That? No I am used to taking large sips of...scolding coffee."

Gus frowned. "That has to be unhealthly."

Shawn held his coffee to his lips mumbling. "I wonder.."

Gus snatched the coffee. "No Shawn! Just because Al here is okay with having his throat scolded doesn't mean you will be."

"Whaaaat? You are crazy. They call me the Hot Drink Kid."

"Who calls you that?"

"They do."

"Who are they?"

"Everyone."

"Shut up Shawn."

Alfed couldn't help the smile tugging his lips. These guys were hilarious. Sipping his coffee he wathched as the free show continued.

"Shawn I swear if you drink it I won't give you anything to help you tongue."

"Well I didn't ask you."

That made Gus turn and cross his arms. Alfred laughed out loud.

"You two act like a married couple."

Gus snorted.

Shawn laughed. "If we're married I am the man in the relationship."

Gus frowned. "And why is that."

"Because you whine too much to be a male." Alfred answered.

"I do not whine!"

Shawn sighed. "Do you see what I have to put up with?"

Alfred nodded. "Don't worry I know how you feel. Everytime I go to do something that is deemed 'stupid' I get chewed out."

Gus frowned. "So you have a best friend that voices his opinion just because he cares, as well?" he asked looking at Shawn.

Shawn ignored him.

Alfred shrugged. "Wouldn't say best friend. He is more like a friend slash enemy. But mostly a friend. Sometimes he hates me and other times it's like he cares. "

Gus sipped his coffee before replying "Sounds like the relationship that Shawn has with Lassiter."

Alfred blinked. "You mean that guy with the big ears who looked like he wanted to shoot me?"

Gus quirked a brow. "You noticed that too?"

Shawn frowned "I didn't notice..."

"That's because you were making googly eyes at Alfred." Gus stated bluntly.

Shawn gaped. "I was not!"

Alfred just smiled knowing Shawn was right. He had looked into his eyes. That was enough to make any human act strange. The fact that Shawn stayed awake meant he had a stong mind.

Gus snorted. "Okay Shawn, Let's say I believe you. Either way you put Alfred on Lassiter's crap list."

Shawn frowned. "Why would Lassie put him on his crap list for me staring."

"So you admit it! You were staring!"

"Shawn I am flattered." Alfred said putting a hand on his chest.

Shawn sighed. "Fine you caught me. Alfred let's run away together and live by the rules of the road. You can bring your car and any other expensive things that you do not wish to part with"

Alfed smiled playing along. "Shawn I wish I could, but I am a man of mystery. I can't be tied down."

Gus frowned. "Where do I come in in all this?"

Shawn patted his friends shoulder. "You pay for it. Don't worry."

Gus rolled his eyes and pushed his hand off his shoulder. "Shawn if you even so much as went through with this crazy plan Lassie would shoot you."

"There you go again bringing Lassie into things."

Alfed shrugged. "Shawn I think he might be on to something."

Shawn sighed. "Alfred he is never onto something. He can only smell things."

Ignoring the part about smelling thing Alfred shrugged. "I think the big eared guy has a chrush on you."

Gus nodded in agreement which made Shawn suddenly want to stare at his coffee. "I don't think he does."

Alfred smiled. "Only one way to find out."

After goofing off for a couple more hours the trio decided to go to the psych office. Shawn offically decided that Alfed was a great guy. In the couple of hours they had been together the man had let them ride in hsi sweet car, bought them coffee, won an eating contest for them and by doing so gave them a life time free fish taco pass and then finally he just fit in. It was weird they got along with him so easily. Shawn was sure it had to do with the weird thing he had seen in the man earlier. Being with Alfred was like being with a friend you haven't seen in a long time. Like they both knew him somehow.

All day they had goofed off. Every reference the two friends made Alfred would understand it and sometimes join in. The three had a great time and Shawn felt a little guily because of it. Alfred seemed to really want to find that scarf, but everytime Shawn suggested something fun he'd jump on board with the idead. It was like he had A.D.D or something. So in the end Shawn decided he would do some detective work before they all sat down to watch Thunder Cats on DVD.

Shawn was a bit suprised at how Gus had warmed up to Alfred so quickly as well. Usually Gus didn't let people join in on their social time, but he let Alfred join without a fuss. Hell, he suggested it.

As Gus and Alfred sat down on the couch watching the first episode he pulled out his cell phone and made a quick call.

After the second ring someone answered.

"Hello?" A tired voice asked.

"Lassie!" Shawn could hear a groan on the other end.

"Spencer. What is it?"

Shawn frowned. "Lassie you okay? You don't sound so hot." But you sure look it. Shawn snickered.

"I am fine. Just stressed." Wondering if you and playboy hit it off. Lassiter thought as he rubbed his forhead.

Shawn sighed. "Why so stressed Lassie."

Shawn blinked hearing a crunch. He turned around to see Gus and Alfred standing there eating out of a bag a chips. They muched loudly on the chips not even bothering to hide their ease dropping. Shawn frowned and mouthed 'go away'. The two continued to stand and eat chips.

"What do you care Spencer?" he snapped.

Shawn frowned trying not to feel so hurt. "Awww Lassie I care."

Alfred had taken the moment to walk over and whispered. "Shawn...hey Shawn! I have an idea!"

Shawn tried to push him away, but in the end covered the speaker of the phone. "What?" he whispered back.

"I can prove he likes you."

"Oh not that again."

"Trust me. Just continue your conversation."

On the other end of the reciver Lassiter yelled. "Hello? Shawn? Are you there?"

"Yea Lassie. Sorry Alfie decided to be a distraction."

"Alfie?"

Shawn could hear a rising anger. He blinked. Holy shit! They might be right! Shawn smiled and decided to see what he could get.

"Yeah...Alfie." He looked over to Alfred and Gus who were making hand motions for him to continue talking about Alfred. "Ya know, the stud in the sexy jacket."

Alfred pointed to his hair and mouth 'with sexy hair'.Gus pointed to Alfred's face mouth 'and a strong chin'. Alfred then mouth back 'thank you.

Shawn shook his head at the two.

"You call him Alfie? You barely know him! Shawn he may look pretty but in the end he only wants one thing."

Alfred pouted. Gus patted his back for fake moral support.

Smiling Shawn asked. "And what is that Lassie?"

He sighed. Shawn could be so stupid sometimes. "Sex. He goes after pretty idiots to get laid. He's a player."

Alfred's pout turned into a gape. "Do I really come off as that?" He whispered to Gus.

Gus shrugged.

Shawn made a gasping noise. "You think I am pretty?"

Lassiter coughed. "T-that's not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?"

"I just...well..I am just warning you!"

"Look Lassie I am a big boy. I change my own socks and everything. I will be fine. Besides Alfie wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Would you please stop calling him by the rediculous pet name."

"Fine. I will be carful. Happy?"

Lassiter blinked at the softness in Shawn's voice.

"A little...Now what do you want, Spencer."

Shawn sighed. They were really having a moment and he had to go back to being all mean. "I need to know a name. I can see a man in my vision. One who is always doing odd jobs that are far from legal. One who has recently gotten in trouble for...the spirits are tell me drugs. He was selling pills."

Carlton blinked. "Sounds like you're discribing Glenn Close."

The three men stood in silence looking at the phone. After a moment Carlton sighed and said. "Not the one from fatal attraction."

The three let out the breaths they had been holding. Lassiter shook his head at how dumb Shawn could be. Even though he was shaking his head a smile spread across his lips.

"Glenn Close, hu?" Shawn pondered this. "Why would he up and steal a scarf?"

"Don't go near him Shawn. He is dangerous. If Mr. Jones would just fill out a police report we would be happy to go see if he still has the scarf."

Alfred seem to viably tense and shook his head no.

Shawn sighed. "No can do Lassie."

"Shawn I am warning you. Do not go near him."

"Fine Lassie I won't I promise."

Lassiter blinked. "I don't believe you that was too easy.."

Shawn laughed. "I know you don't believe me. I gotta go Lassie. Hugs and Kisses!"

He hung up after hearing the detective stutter on the other end. Looking at Alfred he frowned. "Why no cops?"

He sighed. "I can't draw attention to myself." he admitted.

Gus stepped away. "Why? Are you wanted? Who did you kill?"

"Gus Gus calm down. Alfred didn't kill anyone...right?"

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Look the truth is I ummm sorta work for the government."

Shawn frowned. "Why didn't you tell us before?"

Alfred sighed. "I can't draw much attention to myself."

Shawn and Gus looked at one another thinking this over.

"Alfred." Shawn said. "We will believe you for now."

Alfred blinked. "You believe me so easily?"

Gud shrugged. "We are suspecious of you, but it's not like we think you're dangerous. I mean it is not like you're some kind of monster. You're Alfred and all you want is to find a scarf." Gus shook his head smiling.

Shawn blinked seeing how strained Alfred's smile had become.

Lassiter grumbled writing harder than usual. He needed to get up and find out what Shawn was up to. That idiot was about to do something stupid. That much he was sure of. Sighing to himself he leaned back in his chair and started at his computer. Looking both ways, checked to see if anyone was near. Typing Alfreds full name in slowly, he continued to look around him before pressing enter.

"Alright. Let's see all the bad things Blondie's done."

Smiling he waited. He had no idea what he was waiting for. Maybe a wanted poster with his face on it or something. The screen flashed and a moment later two words appeared.

Nothing found.

It was then Carlton threw himself into detective mode. The next two hours were spent looking for anything on Alfred. What he found was a lot more interesting than what he wanted to find.

Every single one of Alfred's ancestors had served in one of America's wars. But he could not find a birth certificate or death certificate of any. All he could find were military records. The most current one was of what he assumed was Shawn's Alfred...ugh had he really just said that? Sighing he looked at the picture. There was Alfred in the same jacket as he wore this morning, standing next to a plane. He was a piolet.

Carlton frowned deeply. There was plunty of military information, but no civilian information.

Maybe he was in the whitness protection program?

No. If he was in that he would have a death certificit.

This was odd. Very odd.

Standing, he grabbed his jacket walking out of the station.

2 Be continued maybe :D And I am working on my other stories as well. College is kicking my butt and I haven't had the time I thought I would. I know I say that and yet I wrote something this long . Ivan will be in the next chapter if people want me to continue.