No Sound Hill 4: The Apartment
The One with the Painted Locks on the Door
Script
(Ryan[Henry wakes up and stares at the roof, in his room. He stands up and goes to his front room and sees his door locked with many locks. In blood, it read 'Don't go Out! Walter'
Ryan: What the hell?
(he sees a note, picks it up and reads it aloud)
Ryan: 'Mommy, y doesn't u wakes upe? 'Who in the name of god could mistake me for a woman?
(he looks at the note and flips it over.)
Ryan: 'P.S. there's a baseball bat in your closet. You'll need it.'
(Ryan puts the note in his portfolio and grabs the bat.)
Ryan: what now?
( a loud rumbling sound is heard coming from the bathroom.)
Ryan: What the hell?
(Ryan enters the bathroom and sees a large gaping hole in his wall.)
Ryan:(thinks) Durr, I could get out this way! Ahdurr!
(enters the hole)Part 2
(Ryan wakes up in a tunnel)
Ryan: What the hell?
(looks around)
Ryan: how did I get here? Oh, well.
(he begins to walk but is jumped by himself
Ash: What are yoooou doing?
Ryan: what the hell?
Ash: I'm you!
Ryan: no, your not. Your an idiot.
Ash: ah-durr!
(Ryan gets an evil look)
Ryan: you're...elvis!
Ash: thank you very much!
Ryan: Vader?
Ash: Join the darkside!
Ryan: ...Not here?
(Ash disappears, and Ryan continues down the tunnel, he then sees a women standing, Ryan begins to approaches her)
Rebbeca: Who are you?
Ryan: I'm Henry. and you?\par
Rebecca: Rebecca Chambers. Where are we?
Ryan: hell as I know.
(scene changes to a ghost who floats behind Ryan.)
Rebeca: Ahhhhhhhh!
Ryan:?\par
(ryan turns around and the ghost bites him)\par
Ryan: ow!\par
(ryan pummels the ghost with baseball bat.)\par
Rebecca: you were bitten by a poisonous snake!\par
Ryan: the hell?\par
(Ryan looks around, then bashes Rebecca in the head, whichs breaks his bat.)\par
Ryan: my cheap wooden bat is broken!\par
(ryan looks around, serching for a new weapon)\par
Ryan:Aha!\par
(he finds a pipe sticking out of the wall, he rips it out and holds it above his head, like Arthur)\par
(he continues down the hallway bashing monsters left and right. He then sees a hole in the wall. under it is a note.)\par
Ryan:'The outside world is so mysterious! Literally!'Outside world? Like the real world?Hmm.\par
(he enters the hole and wakes up in his apartment bed.)\par
Ryan: What a weird dream.(he stands and goes to his peephole)\par
(Eileen and another, Braintree, are talking)\par
Eileen: So, who lives here?\par
Braintree:Henry still does, but he hasn't come out.\par
Eileen: What should we do?\par
Braintree: What is this 'we' stuff?(he promptly leaves.)\par
Eileen:(sighs) Ill just call the super.\par
Ryan(slamming on his door) Hey! Yo! Homie! Im in here! Help me!\par
(noise, the same that created the hole, and the hole is still there. So, Ryan enters it.\par
He wakes up beside a hole in a forest.)\par
Ryan: Once again, the hole leads me to mysterious places.\par
(he stands and begins to walk. He soon runs into a ghost.)\par
Ryan: Another one?\par
Ghost: hello good sir, hows yo-\par
(the ghost is cut off by Ryans pipe busting into his head)\par
Ryan: Die! Die! You dead, rancid, freak!( he beats the ghosts bloody corpse.)\par
(Ryan than observed the area)\par
Ryan: Well, that was interestingly violent.\par
(Ryan shrugs and walks on, until he is jumped by a ghost)\par
Jasper: Henry!\par
Ryan: who da hell are you?\par
Jasper: Jasper! (he hugs Ryan)\par
ryan: Da Hell?!\par
Jasper: sorry, I'm just so happy to see you! You see I'm here to tell you that a man named Walter\par
is on the loose.\par
(Awkward silence)\par
Ryan: and?\par
Jasper: oh right, he's also dead, so you can't kill him.\par
Ryan: but if he's dead, he cant be on the loose.\par
Jasper: As odd as it seems, he's dead but in this world...he is the boss.\par
Ryan: so this world is... the land of the dead?\par
Jasper: well, in a way. You see, even I am a ghost.You have\par
to- oh crap, Walters lighting my body on fire again!(he is set ablaze)\par
\par
\tab Part three\par
(ryan wakes up in his apartment.)\par
Ryan: I need a drink. And food.\par
(he proceeds to his kitchen but is distracted by the door. He looks out)\par
Eileen: hmm?(she knocks on his door, she is wearing a fancy dress)\par
(ryan knocks back, but she doesnt hear him)\par
Eileen: I guess he still isn't home.(she leaves)\par
(Ryan eats a krispy kreme donut, downs some milk and returns throught the hole)\par
(Ryan wakes up in a city street, his head immediatly hurts)\par
Ryan: ow, my head.(he looks around)\par
Braintree: Hey, punk!\par
Ryan: mmmm, yes?\par
Braintree: where are we? And who are you?\par
ryan: I'm He-\par
Braintree: Youre Henry! From Room 302!\par
Ryan: Yeah. Who ar-\par
Braintree: I'm Richard Braintree!\par
Ryan: and were-\par
Braintree: Were in the middle of an abonded street that looks just like\par
South Ashfeild!\par
Ryan: Why are you yelling?\par
Braintree: becuase theres a ghost behind you!\par
(Ryan turns and the ghost punches him in the face, ryan recovers and attacks the ghost, begining a \par
bloody street fight. but nevertheless, Ryan wins.)\par
Braintree: You killed it!\par
Ryan: Yeah. It's so simple an idiot like you-\par
(Braintree shoves his gun under Ryans nose)\par
Ryan: Who's that behind you?\par
Braintree: I'm not falling for that one.\par
Ryan: Suit yourself.\par
(Walter begins to murder Braintree, offscreen, but the screams are heard.)\par
Walter: Mr.Townshend, I require that you leave the area immediatly.\par
Ryan: And you are?\par
Walter: You will soon find out.\par
\par
\tab Part 4\par
(Ryan wakes up and heads for the kitchen, the front door is locked still, he then went to the hole in his wall, but it is gone)\par
Ryan: Well, things are getting better.\par
(Ryan returns to the living room, sits on his couch and realizes that his TV is on)\par
Ryan: I turned that off, plus the electricity isn't working. The cables cut. I hit it with a baseball bat.\par
And I dropped it. Weird.\par
(Someone knocks at his door. He quickly jumps up and runs for the door.)\par
Eileen: Henry! Henry, Open up!\par
(She looks left, and then runs away, a second later, Walter walks by the peephole and looks into the hole)\par
Walter: Hello again, Mr.Townshend. I missed you.\par
(Walter turns and leaves. Henry goes to the hole in his wall, it's back.)\par
\par
(Ryan wakes up in another persons bathroom. He quickly looks around, he hears a woman groan.)\par
Ryan: hello? Are you a ghost?\par
(Ryan exits the small bathroom, and searches the house.He finds Eileen in the downstairs bathroom)\par
Ryan: Hey, What are you doing in my world of craziness?\par
( Ryan startles her, she picks up a knife and points it at him.)\par
Ryan:Da Hell you doing?\par
Eileen: Your- Henry?\par
(Ryan nods, and looks at her broken arm)\par
Ryan: What happended to you?\par
Eileen: That psycho attacked me!\par
Ryan: Psycho?\par
Eileen: The man in the jacket.\par
Ryan: Well thats specific.\par
(Moan)\par
Ryan: Ghosties!!\par
(Ryan quickly exits and finds a ghost floating, holding its special place)\par
Ghost: Is she done in there? I really have to go!\par
Ryan: Sucks to be you!\par
(Ryan attacks the ghost with his pipe, technically 'killing' it)\par
Eileen: Is it gone?\par
Ryan: Yes. Now, I'm gonna get back to my apartment. Leaving you here, alone, and defenseless.\par
(Ryan does exacty as he says)\par
\par
(ryan wakes up, his head hurts, and the room smells. The phone rings)\par
Ryan:(answering) hello?\par
Eileen: Where the hell did you go?\par
Ryan: I just needed to grab something, alright?\par
Eileen: When you left, I fell asleep, now I'm in a tunnel!\par
(Ryan looks puzzled)\par
Ryan: You fell asleep right after you watched me beat the life out of a ghost? Are you stupid?\par
Eileen: JUST GET BACK HERE!\par
Ryan: Fine! And if it's any conselation, I was getting something for you!\par
Eileen: Really?\par
Ryan: Yeah! Bye! God!\par
(He slams the phone down)\par
Ryan: God, Why?\par
(He grabs a Nutra-Health drink and enters the hole)\par
\par
(Ryan wakes up, once more in the tunnel)\par
Ryan: Eileen! OLYOLYOx and free!(He walks, swinging his pipe, killing ghosts)\par
(Ryan see's a handbag on the floor, he searches it)\par
Ryan: You can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse!\par
(he finds her wallet, opens it, and finds nothing)\par
Ryan: she must be poor. Oh well.(he throwsm it over his shoulder and continue his serch, he finally spots Eileen is sitting on a bench)\par
Ryan: There you are! Here, this will heal the wounds.\par
(she drinks the Health drink. Nothing happens)\par
Ryan: Well, that's odd. It worked for me.\par
Eileen: Henry, Why are you touching my leg?\par
Ryan: I'm not. Why are you touching my leg?\par
(They both look down and see the ghost of Rebbeca\par
and imediatly jump away)\par
Ryan: AHHHH! Its that girl again!\par
Eileen: Again?\par
Ryan: Yeah. I kille- saw her die!\par
(Ryan attempts to attack her, but she avoids his strike and punches him in the face)\par
(Ryan is knocked to the floor, the ghost gets on him, continuing her assult)\par
Ryan: Eileen! I droped my pipe, use it!\par
(Eileen picks up the pipe and waits for the oppurtune moment, she swings and\par
hits Ryan in the stomach)\par
Ryan: OW! Why did you hit me?\par
Eileen: Sorry!\par
(she tries again, hitting Ryan again)\par
Ryan: Stop hitting me!\par
(Eileen goes inot a blind fury, swinging insanely. The ghost gets off and watches.)\par
Ryan: STOP!\par
(Eileen stops and the ghost begins to punch Ryan again. Eileen looks around and finds a pistol)\par
Ryan: No! Dont use that! If you couldn't hit it with a pipe, what makes you think you can \par
with a pistol?\par
(Eileen takes aim and Ryan closes his eyes, expectig the worst)\par
Eileen: Henry, wake up!\par
(Ryans eye burst open, hes still in the tunnel, his wounds are gone, and his right hand is bandaged)\par
Ryan: What the hell happened?\par
Eileen: You passed out and the ghost left.\par
Ryan: Oh. OK.\par
Eileen: And the man in the coat is back, he's right\par
over there.( She points out his large shadow)\par
Walter: My name is... Walter. And you , Eileen and Henry, are my ticket\par
back to my mother, Room 302!\par
(Ryan has a very puzzled look on his face)\par
Ryan: Your mother is a room?\par
Walter: Yes, and I miss her ever so much! So, now, you must die!\par
Ryan: Your insane! Why don't you just go in?\par
Walter: Becuase that would be rude.\par
Eileen: Rude? Wasn't it rude when you killed Jasper?\par
Walter:(long silence) Well.(long silence, his eyes are shifty) Well, that's what you\par
are but what am I?\par
Eileen: Your an idio-\par
Walter: Enough! It's time for Henry to choose his side!\par
(Ryan stands, and the two space themselfes so Ryan is in the middle)\par
Walter: Come here, Henry, come on.\par
(note: every time the person talking changes Henry switchs direction. Unless said.)\par
Eileen: No, Bad Henry! Come here boy (kissing noises accompied by leg patting) Come on!\par
Walter: Henry, we have cookies!\par
Eileen: Henry, we have dark chocolate!\par
Walter: Henry, we have beer!\par
Eileen: Henry, waffles!\par
Walter: Pancakes!\par
Eileen: Puppies!\par
Walter: Kittens!\par
Eileen: Fresh air!\par
Ryan: Da Hell?! I don't want no fresh air!\par
Walter: Video game girls!\par
Eileen:(stumbles for a second and finally comes up with a rebuttal) Real breast's!\par
Ryan: Yeah!\par
Walter: we have pe-... no that wouldn't work. Aha! Any woman you want!\par
Ryan: O, sorry Eileen, he wins this one.\par
Walter: I am the Champion! Yes, I am the Champion of the world!\par
(Ryan is but a few feet form Walter when Eileen grabs him and rips off his outer shirt, and runs)\par
Ryan: My lucky shirt!( he chase after her)\par
Walter: Get back here!(chases Ryan)\par
( Ryan is intercepted by Walter who smashes a banana into Ryan's chest)\par
Ryan: what the hell?\par
Walter: Yeah, that didnt work out right.( he punchs Ryan in the face, knocking him out)\par
\par
\tab The End\par
(Ryan wakes up, he is still in the tunnel)\par
Ryan: Walter!!\par
Ash: Shhh! He will hear you.\par
Ryan: Good! No one, and I mean no one, knocks me out!\par
Ash: Your right. It's ust plain rude! Let's go get Walter.\par
Ryan: Where is he?\par
Ash: Your apartment.\par
(scene change, outside the apartment)\par
Ryan: You ready?\par
(ash nods, Ryan opens the door.)\par
( Walter is on the couch, watching TV)\par
Walter: Finally! I thought you would never get here!\par
(Walter turns around)\par
Walter: Henry! Your not the pizza guy!\par
( a gunfight begins, Ryan, Ash, and Walter take cover and shoot)\par
(suddenly...)\par
Ryan[standing STOP!\par
(fighting stops)\par
Ryan: Alright, I know a way we can settle this! But first, where's Eileen?\par
Walter: Right there. (he points her out, behind the kitchen counter)\par
Ryan: Oh, okay. Well settle this with...a dance off! (points at Ash)\par
Hit It!\par
(music starts and Walter dances)\par
Ryan: Is that all?\par
(music begins and Ryan dances)\par
Walter: Uh!\par
(more music, Walter dances)\par
Ryan: That's the last straw!\par
(Ryan dances, he finishs it off with a crouch thrust)\par
Walter: Noooooo! (he falls back and dies)\par
Ryan: Who knew that would be his weakness.\par
Jasper: I wanna dance!\par
(Jasper dances. Ryan disregards it and looks around. Eileens gone\par
so he just leaves.)\par
\tab\par
\tab\tab The End?\par
No.(Walter stands and drinks some Root Beer.)\par
Walter: I will defeat you Henry Townshend and Eileen Galvin! I will defeat you!\par
Jasper: Hey! Your the guy who killed me!\par
(Jasper attacks Walter and really kills him)\par
\par
\tab\tab The End?\par
\tab\tab Yeah It's The End!\par
\par
\tab\par
\par
7
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Please excuse the "/par and /tab's" this was written on an old computer and I'm to lazy to take them out