Disclaimer: I do not own Revenge or its characters. Sadly. There would be a lot more happy Vivid flashbacks if I did.
Author's Note: For now this is a one shot, I may look at continuing it in the future but for now, it's just a sad little Vivid-y one shot.
All mistakes are mine, please message me if you find any I missed.
Reviews would be lovely.
Silence. In a place like this it was his worst enemy. Not the woman lying in the other room, not the other doctors and nurses who could expose him, but the utter haunting silence. In a place like this it wouldn't protect him, the minute he moved he'd be noticed. Straightening his dark blue tie while peering into a small mirror perched on the nurses desk, David Clarke sighed. He hadn't had any second thoughts about this before but now that he was standing within these halls, on this day, so close yet so far away from Her, he wasn't sure he could go through with it. It wasn't due to lack of nerve or a loss of love on his part, but after Kara he swore he'd never step foot in another psychiatric ward, and until now he had kept that promise. Once upon a time he would have begged to see his Amanda when she had been stationed in a place like this but was denied that small sense of relief in knowing that she was safe although unhappy there, and look at her now..
Dead. Just as dead as he had been once upon a time. Until he made a deal with the Devil's henchman, and that deal saved his life. Gordon had admitted to meeting Kara while she was getting treatment, had gone with Victoria to see her, the man was interested in helping her and David didn't want her anymore. A deal that worked for both of them, let someone else have and love Kara now. Along with a hefty payment and a few other unmentionable promises, David survived the riot. But he still bore the scars of prison and the jagged reminder of betrayal on his lower back. A betrayal that he had mostly forgiven for, until it came to his attention that his daughter was in the in the cross hairs of the man that ruined his life. He missed her wedding, the birth of a grandson, missed his youngest finding out who he was. He didn't get to tell her how proud he had been to hear she'd taken his name, so he started writing the letters, never knowing if she got them but relieved he had sent them all the same.
Doing one last quick check in the mirror he reached into the lab coat and pulled out a pair of black rimmed glasses, holding them up in the mirror he made a quick decision to slip them on, finding that he looked far less menacing given his new appearance with them. A good pair of glasses could be the difference between freedom and capture and for a man with a shaved head and a face that could easily be remembered he needed all the help he could get. Besides, the new look was harsher than she would be used to and he couldn't bear her turning away from him. Slipping on a lab coat he'd grabbed from the break room, he waved the ID he'd forged in front of the sensor to unlock the door and headed into the psych ward. He knew she had been under constant watch those first months she was incarcerated, he could only hope that Michelle Banks had forgotten about her, like they had forgotten about Michelle after her kidnapping. Reading the names on the doors as he walked down the hall, he located hers fairly easily and was surprised to find the door already open and waiting for him.
Glancing over his shoulder to peer back at the door, making sure that no one else was behind him, David moved to the door and closed it as quietly as possible. The doors were supposed to be open at all times but he couldn't risk anyone walking in on him just then, if they saw him with her it would only raise questions he wasn't prepared or willing to answer. He'd get caught and have to leave and he wasn't going on the run, not again, not without her. Sitting down on the end of the bed, David could finally take her all in. Asleep on her side with her tussled hair fanned over her shoulder in soft waves, from this angle you couldn't tell she'd been in here for months. She looked healthy, and although a small grimace rested on her sleeping face, which he surmised must be due to the fact she still had her wrist restraints on, she looked more at ease than the last time he saw her. As if, even though she was in this horrible place that somewhere in her mind she was feeling like a weight had been taken off her shoulders.
He wondered if that weight might have been Conrad. Did she even know? Had anybody bothered to even come and tell her that he was dead, or did she find out from some late night newscast and had no one to talk to about it? While David understood how toxic her relationship with Conrad Grayson had been throughout their decades together, he also knew that at one point in their lives they had actually loved each other. Where it went wrong he wasn't totally sure, nor was he certain he wanted to know. And despite having lost everything to Conrad, the smallest part of him was thankful for introducing him to Victoria. Without her, he wasn't sure he ever would have loved again as passionately as he did, he wouldn't have Charlotte, but he also wouldn't have had the greatest of losses that shaped who he became. Who showed him what he was truly capable of.
Licking his lips David ran his hands along his chin before glancing back at his sleeping companion. He almost couldn't believe his luck, she was right there within reach and yet he was almost scared to touch her, to wake her and feel that familiar burn that he knew would overcome him if he got too close to her. It was intoxicating and as angry as he had been at her for those first years in prison, it was an overwhelming feeling that continued to haunt him late at night. As insane as it was he knew that she was as broken as he was and always had been, he saw something there in her from the moment they met, something that he wanted to drive away to keep her safe. Looking at her now David knew that he still craved that fire that she had always given him, he knew it was wrong and knew that there was every chance he would lose her again but he had forgiven her once and he knew that deep down, she'd been through enough on his behalf.
Without thinking David reached out and rested his palm on her thigh, shaking gently. When he got no immediate response David leaned over her and ran his hand through her hair, coming down to cup her cheek as gently as he could without shaking. He shouldn't be this nervous! "Victoria." He called out softly, seeing her slowly start to react to the presence of someone else in her room. He brushed his thumb across her cheek and felt her body jolt, then still, which was not what he meant to do at all. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her. Back peddling he pulled his hand away and rested it next to her head instead, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..." Victoria let out a small gasp and froze, making no effort to move, her heart began to race in her ears and her head started to swim, was she having a stroke? Thoughts racing a thousand miles a minute sh briefly wondered if she really was crazy and this was just Amanda playing more games with her. A very cruel, very hateful game. Shaking her head she clutched her hands together and pressed her face into the pillow so hard she hoped it might swallow her up.
"Victoria." The voice in her head repeated, taking on a slightly more impatient but still softer than Conrad's tone. This was it, she was completely off the deep end now and there was someone watching her swim right off it. She'd be mortified if she wasn't going completely crazy in front of this stranger, this suspiciously familiar smelling stranger. Staring at his love's back, David rubbed his forehead in complete confusion, knowing that he was on borrowed time and that he wasn't going to snap her out of it by being out of her sight line so he stood up and rounded her bed, coming to stand in front of her instead. He didn't bother to remove the glasses, but slipped off his lab coat and set it along the foot of her bed. Kneeling down in front of her David grasped her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze and ran her fingers along her forehead and into her hair. "Vic, open your eyes. I promise I'm right here, please." He said as reassuringly as possible, knowing that she was doubting herself with everything she had.
She had to be in Hell, it was the only other thing that made sense. She was dead and in Hell and was now beginning the torture that she would be enduring for the rest of time. Tortured by the fleeting feeling of that touch, that voice, that name, all were things that haunted her in her dreams and tortured her when she was awake, years after years of a deep longing she knew she was destined to be denied. She did know them, deep down somewhere she knew they were all things that uniquely made them David Clarke. There was no one else so gentle, so willing to risk everything to be with her but disappointment soon set in, he was dead and she knew that too so how could he be here? Victoria knew that she shouldn't look, that it was exactly what they wanted her to do but if there was even a chance that she was wrong, that the smallest part of her was right then she knew she should take it. That strong hand was still wrapped around both of hers, and the other resting on her brow - both of them afraid to move. "You'll still be right where you are when I open my eyes?" Victoria whispered desperately, certain that she couldn't handle one more heartbreak if it wasn't real.
"I'll be right here, Vic. I'm not going anywhere, at least not right away. I can't stay but I had to see you, I needed you to see me. I have to tell you something." The tone that he was using was a mixture of sadness and elation, a tone she'd used with this man more times than she could count. As she started to open her eyes, David began to loosen the restraints on her wrists, taking the cuffs off and rubbing at the marks they left behind until he felt her staring at him. Slowly moving to match her gaze David straightened his back and stared back at her, Victoria. His Victoria. Now that he could see her he was trying to burn her face to his memory, comparing her to the previous image he had of her, determining the changes and happily finding none. David smiled, for the first time in a long time and cupped her cheek again, meeting a small smile that matched his own as a lone tear dropped onto his hand. He brushed it away and pulled her body into the cocoon of his own, both arms wrapping around her in an embrace so tight he thought he might break her.
Suddenly, her arms pushed at him as she began to struggle and when he wouldn't let go, her hand shot out as quick as lightning and stuck him as hard as she could before she scrambled up to the head of the bed, knees bent and body shaking. "How did you get in here? What sort of sick game is Amanda playing this time? Tell me!" Victoria shouted, her voice getting louder with each word that came. David couldn't have her alerting any of the orderlies outside, so he leaned against the bed and covered her mouth with his hand, only moving it away when out the of instinct of a caged animal she tried to bite. "Amanda is dead, you know it and I know it, Vic. I am here for you, for us, I can't be out there knowing you're locked up in here. Look at what it's doing to you.. I have to get you out -" A muffled protest against his hand surprised him, she of all people, who had been locked up before didn't want to leave? "Come with me, Victoria." A shake of her head made him remove his hand and rest it on her shoulder instead. "Why not?"
Licking her lips, Victoria bit at the tip of her finger. "She'll expose me. Do something worse than this, she did this.. ." David started to ask but Victoria cut him off, "She was behind all of it, every person who helped put you away - she went after them. Ruined them. She helped Conrad kill Pascal.." Her voice was breaking, her body starting to shake and heave and tears were starting to prickle at her eyes, "And it was you, it was you being ripped away from me all over again and I.. lured someone she loved into a trap and I.. I killed him." Victoria whispered, both hands coming to cover the sob as it wracked her body. He stared at her in silence, never expecting to hear the great Victoria Grayson having fallen so low, so broken. And part of him couldn't help but wonder if he couldn't ease her pain by telling her about Conrad. Would it make her dry her tears and smile at him like she used to do, even just for a moment?
Balling his hands David got off the bed, grabbing his coat and rounding the other side of the bed, all while Victoria followed his movements through her tears and shame. He brought out the best and the worst in her and this time was no difference, like a truth serum she ached to tell him the truth but feared his abandoning her if he knew the full extent. He wrapped the coat around her shoulders and silently urged her to stand up, his original plan didn't include taking her with him but being here was doing her more harm than good, he could help her get through all of this, like he always had. Victoria once told him that she felt stronger when she was with him, and he knew first hand that her guard couldn't go any lower than it was now. Trapped in a prison she couldn't leave on her own, locked in her own thoughts, it changed a person. If he could learn to forgive then so could she, but she couldn't do it alone. She needed him and she loved him and that was enough.
Guiding her by her shoulders David ducked his head as they moved down the hall, tucking the glasses into his pocket as they passed nurses and doctors until one stopped them. "You can't take her -, " David cut him off curtly, "Doctor Banks has found this patient says she's beginning to slip into manic from being cooped up in here, she's not eating, not sleeping right, not taking her meds... I'm taking her out to get some fresh air and some sun. It's the least I can do. It's all in the chart, go and read it and get out of my way!" Pushing passed the male nurse he called up the elevator while on the lookout, they were almost home free if they could get passed the guard at the gate. Hurrying along the side of the hospital David waited with baited breathe for the alarms to sound, once the nurse realized that Victoria was meant to stay locked in the ward, but surprisingly it never came. Sighing in relief as they reached the van he tucked Victoria inside, giving her his coat and holding his finger to his lips. Closing the door he started the engine and drove up to the gate, "Hey Jerry." He greeted, tapping his hand against the side of the van. "Sorry man, didn't manage to catch your name when you came in this morning but, one of the nurses called down." The guard started, as David tightened his grip on the wheel, "Anyway, he said that one of the girls got loose, was escorted down by one of the doctors for some "sun". You didn't see them did you?"
Cocking his head to the side, he scratched the back of his neck, "Can't say that I did. But I didn't get far into the ward today, was just checking in on a patient and then left. They must have been gone before I got there. She was sure pretty though, only saw her file but you can always get a feeling for the person from a picture. Listen Jer, I don't think it's going to work out for me here, too many biters and it's sure depressing up there. I think I'd like to try something a little more upbeat, maybe with kids but I'll be filing with Claire and I don't think I'm going to need this anymore." He said as he picked up "his" temporary hospital ID and handed it over. "Take it up for me later, will you? Thanks Jer." The gate was open now and David wasn't going to risk it closing on them, "Gotta go. Wife needs me." he added and hit the gas, making a break for it. He hoped Victoria hadn't heard much of his conversation but knew that it wasn't likely the case, he'd been at the hospital for the last two weeks trying to get access to her. Stealing an identity and forging degrees took time after all; it killed him knowing that she had been so close and out of reach but she wasn't anymore and it had been worth it.
They sat in silence as the van moved along the highway, he still had the glasses on even though he didn't need them and his hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white and her, well she had moved to the passenger seat, his jacket was draped over her shoulders and her hands grasping it as if it would protect her from everything. He was taking them to her cabin, the one she'd painstakingly had built in his memory. Two killers on the run, with a lifetime of tortured history and despair between them and yet not a thing to say. In time he would admit what he's always known, and what he knows would ease her two decades standing guilt, that he forgave her and had done so since long before he made his deal with Gordon Murphy. And someday he'd tell her about Conrad, and he hoped in return she'd finally be honest with him, that she'd tell him what she'd done. Then maybe they could have a clean slate, together. He came back for a reason, one of them was to avenge Amanda's death and he had done that, he didn't understand why Victoria was so certain that Amanda was alive, and out to get her - maybe someday she'd tell him. But now it was time to reclaim his life, to retake his name and his house.. the woman he loved and the child they made. They'd be a family, once and for all. Until then, he'd just have to make sure that silence didn't eat them alive, like their secrets had. David glanced over at Victoria, who had her head resting against the cold glass of the window and reached down for her hand and gave it a small but loving squeeze, the two sat in silence until three small words shattered it, although they hadn't come from him. "I love you."