A/N - So this is not my first fanfic but my first in the Bones genre. This is an AU story set directly after Bones tells Booth about her feelings in the car during "Doctor in the Photo". Let me know what you think or if you think I should keep going. Rated M because I'm paranoid.

PS. I don't own Bones

She sat alone in her apartment. The tears were still pouring down her face. She had finally told him. She had finally realized it herself. The world had turned upside down for 3 days, and in the end? She was in love with Booth. He was her greatest regret.

She lifted her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She knew the man he was. She knew that he wouldn't just abandon Hannah. And her metaphorical heart was still broken. She didn't even know it was whole to begin with. But it had been, because of him. And now it was shattered into thousands of unrecognizable pieces that she had no idea how to put back together.

The memory of her conversation with him, in the car flashed through her mind, causing an involuntary shiver.

"I'm with someone. And Hannah…she's not a consolation prize…"

She knew before she even spoke that this would be his answer. He's an honorable man. A good man. And yet she had to say it out loud. If for nothing more than to make it real to her own mind. And then he had rejected her the way she had rejected him so many months ago.

This realization brought about a new round of uncontrollable sobs. This pain was excruciating. How could she have done this to him? Hurt him this way? The way she hurt now?

She had told him she would be fine. And he had let her step out of the car. She was most definitely not fine. But she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She breathed slowly, in and out, trying to let her mind lead her back to rationality. As her mind took control, she stood up from the couch and began to walk to the kitchen.

BUT THIS IS NOT RATIONAL! YOU LOVE HIM! FIGHT! Her mind screamed back at her. Again the tears began to fall and this time she knew there would be no stopping them.

She slumped to the ground and let the sobs wrack her body. She let her grief consume her entirely, knowing that tomorrow she would have to put her mask back on and pretend that everything was fine. As she lay on the floor of her apartment, consumed in regret and fear, she could not hear the knocking coming from her door.

She continued to sob with all the energy she had left. She hoped that she could cry out her love for him. So that by the time this was over, she would no longer feel his loss. Her sobs grew louder and more violent until she could barely breathe. She just lay there on the floor, with no idea how to move.

The knocking had turned furious, but she still could not hear it. There was nothing outside this grief.

Suddenly, something finally broke through to her as her apartment door came flying open, sending small pieces of the door frame flying in her direction.

She couldn't look up. She knew he was there, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. She didn't want him here. She wanted to suffer this alone. She deserved this. She had done the same to him.

His arms were around her then. Wrapped around her slight frame, while her sobbing continued. He let his hands to move down her back, moving in slow comforting circles. He pulled her body towards his, enveloping her completely, comforting her as she cried.

"Booth…please….I can't…." her sobs cutting her off. She knew this would make it harder. Being so close, but she allowed herself to melt into him regardless.

He leaned his head down until his lips were just a breath away from her ear.

"Bones…...I love you too."

He had watched her step out of the car. He had hated seeing her cry like that. He meant it when he said the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. But Hannah was waiting for him at home. And he did love Hannah.

But not as much as you love Bones. He heard his mind whisper.

He pushed the thought away and began the short drive back to his apartment.

She'll be fine. She said she would be fine. He thought to himself.

As he pulled up to his apartment he took a shaky breath. He didn't know if he should say anything to Hannah about what had happened. They were friends. Hannah and Bones. Would this make it harder on either of them? Especially Bones?

My Bones. Again his subconscious threw a sharp whisper at his conscious mind. Again he pushed the thought away.

He walked up the stairs to his apartment. Drawing out what he knew to be inevitable. She would know something was wrong. Hannah was intuitive. It was what made her so good at her job. What made people like and trust her.

He unlocked the door to his apartment with a sigh. He didn't want to talk about this.

"Seeley?" she called from the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'm home." He dropped his wet coat on the floor in the closet. He felt so drained, he didn't even bother to grab a hanger.

Hannah came flying around the corner with her arms open and then stopped short when she took in his appearance.

"What happened?" her voice colored with concern. "You're soaked!"

He could barely meet her eyes and had no idea where to begin, so he simply said "Bones."

Hannah let out a sharp breath. "Is she okay?" She knew how close Seeley and his partner were. She knew that his bond with Temperance was stronger than the bond between Seeley and herself. Though it plagued her daily, she kept holding on to what they had. Though she knew he didn't rightfully belong to her. And Temperance was her friend too.

She braced for his response.

He ran his hands up over his face and rubbed the spot between his eyes.

"I don't know. And it's my fault. I knew she wasn't ready then. But she's ready now…and…I…" he looked up at Hannah and she saw so much pain written in his expression that it took her breath away.

"I just don't know."

Hannah knew exactly what he meant. She instantly knew that what they had was over. She loved him. But she knew she could never give him the love that Temperance could give him. And she knew that he would never love her that way he loved his Bones.

"You have to go to her, Seeley." She wiped a single tear that had escaped from his eye.

"Hannah….I….." He knew she was right, but he felt paralyzed by his guilt. Guilt for what he had done to Bones. Guilt for what he was about to do to Hannah.

"I know, Seeley." She took his hand and squeezed it. "What we have….it can't compare." There was sadness in her voice, but to his surprise she sounded slightly relieved. "I can't compete with her, Seeley. I would never make you as happy as she could. I knew that from the moment I saw you together." She gave him a sad smile. "I really will be okay. I can live without you. I don't think she can."

With that she released his hand and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. As she started to walk away Booth grabbed her hand.

"Hannah. I meant it when I said I loved you.."

"But you love her more." She met his eyes and he saw her resolution there. He knew she was right and so did she. "I'll be gone by the morning." She said, releasing herself from his grasp once more. "Go. She needs you."

And with that last three words he flew out the door, not even stopping to grab his coat despite the sheets of rain still coming down outside. He had to hold her. To tell her he was wrong. He had to let her know that it wasn't too late. That he was always hers. He just hoped she would still want him.

As he started driving towards her apartment, he switched on his sirens.

He continued to hold her, trying to soothe her as she slowly began to calm. She started to pull herself out of his embrace but he just held on tighter. He wasn't ready to let her go yet. She relented and let herself form to his strong embrace once more. He wondered if she had heard what he had said. When he was on the other side of the door, listening to her sob…it was unbearable. He looked at the shattered remnants of the door frame and winced. His back would be feeling that tomorrow. She seemed better now, but the memory of seeing her lying on the floor, broken from what he had done, was still fresh in his mind, and he didn't want to let go until she knew he was here to stay.

Almost as though she could read his mind, at that moment she pulled herself tighter to him and said "What about Hannah?"

He could hear the fear in her question. He felt her body tense as though she was bracing for another rejection. He just smiled and said. "Hannah is gone."

She contemplated that for a few seconds before she became overwhelmed with guilt. She began to pull away. He tried to keep her close, but she was more forceful this time and managed to free herself from his arms. She couldn't do this to him. He was happy with Hannah. She could see that. Anyone could.

"No Booth."

His face twisted. Was he too late? Did he misunderstand? Was he being rejected again?

"I'm not going to be the one to hurt you like this. You're in love with Hannah."

As understanding of her statement washed over him, his face softened.

"I love Hannah, Bones. That wasn't a lie. But I'm in love with you. Always have been."

He smiled at her and his face was so full of love, that in spite of herself, she gave a small smile back. But it vanished as quickly as it appeared. Seeing her hesitation, Booth continued.

"She understood, Bones. She left me. I didn't ask her to go. I didn't tell her how I felt, but she knew. And she knew that it was the right thing. Not just for me but for her as well. She would have always been second to you, Bones. Even if you and I weren't together. " he paused to wipe the fresh tears from her face.

"You're my whole word. You know that right?"

She let him fold her into his embrace once more, but this time it was different. It wasn't about comfort. This embrace felt more intimate, more real.

He sensed the shift in her and pulled his face back to look into her eyes. There was so much love in the way he looked at her. So much need. She drew a ragged breath, trying to steady herself. She had never felt this close to anyone. Not physically, of course, as she had been with men before. But intimately. Emotionally. She looked back into his eyes. She felt so loved and wanted.

She never thought she would feel this way

His hand caressed the side of her face as he drew closer. Her breathing stopped. She was afraid, but she wanted this. She ached for it. She still wasn't convinced it was right for them to be doing this, but right now she simply didn't care.

As their lips touched, their need became more acute. The kiss deepened quickly, not doing enough to release the nearly 7 years of tension they had both felt. The tried hard anyway. His hands exploring the curve of her back, his fingers slipping quietly under the fabric of her shirt to touch the delicate, soft skin underneath. She gasped at the feel of his hand on the bare skin of her back, and wanted those hands all over her. She lifted her arms, inviting him to remove the pesky fabric that was in his way. He obliged, first disconnecting his lips from hers, and then in one swift move, pulled the shirt over her head and threw it on the floor.

She felt the loss of his lips instantly, and as soon as her garment was out of the way, pulled herself back to him with so much force, they both fell to the ground. He cushioned her fall, wrapping his arms around her mid-section and holding her tight to his body.

His hands had access to her bare skin, but she was still fighting to get past his wool sweater. He shivered as her fingers finally found the bottom edge of the sweater and began to make their way underneath. She pulled the garment upwards and opened her eyes to ask permission. A low growl from the back of his throat gave her the answer she was looking for, and soon his sweater and the t shirt underneath were lying in a pile on the floor next to her own.

The intense kiss continued as they laid there on the floor. The passion grew until they could barely contain themselves anymore.

Suddenly, Booth broke free of the kiss. "Bones….Bones….wait…"

She continued to kiss along his jaw line, occasionally allowing her teeth to scrape the skin behind his ear.

"You want me to stop?" there was only a hint of innocence in her tone.

"Oh God" he breathed. "No. I don't" He wrapped his arms tightly around her once more and pulled her mouth to his. But he broke the kiss as quickly as he had started it, and he pulled her away from his self.

"But I think we should."

The instant rush of cold that swept over her body, with the loss of him being so near, caused an involuntary shiver right up her spine. He saw this and stood up, walking over to the couch.

"Come sit over here with me."

She watched him hesitantly but decided to follow. She didn't know what she had done wrong. It felt so right to her.

As she sat down on the couch, Booth grabbed the blanket draped over the back and wrapped it around her shoulders. He then sat next to her, staring into her eyes.

"Booth." She looked down at her lap, almost ashamed to ask her question. "Did I do something wrong?"

Booth's eyes widened. He hadn't realized she would think that when he interrupted their passionate kiss.

"No Bones! God! I wanted to keep going! Believe me! I just think we should talk first. Make sure we're ready for this."

She finally met his gaze.

"I suppose this does change everything, doesn't it?"

He cupped his hand to her cheek and she instinctively leaned towards his touch.

"Not everything, Bones. I've loved you for a long time, remember? The difference is that now you realize it too. I just want to make sure you're sure. That you're ready for this. Because I'm ready Bones. I've been ready for a long time. "

As he spoke, his hand moved from her cheek, down to the side of her neck, to her shoulder. It felt nearly like an open flame to her and she wanted to feel that all over. Her breathing was beginning to get unsteady again. He realized this and pulled his hand away.

Again she felt the rush of cold air that accompanied the loss of his touch.

"Booth…"she breathed out. She took a deep breath, not only to steady herself, but also to organize the thoughts in her head. It was hard to concentrate with his naked chest just a foot away from her.

"I am ready, Booth. " his answering smile was like a light to her. It seemed to pull her towards him. She made a conscious effort to stay seated right where she was. She knew they had to talk about this before they went any further. She wanted him to have the chance to back out if he wanted too. It would be harder if he walked away after that line was crossed.

"However, I think you should know...I…that I…." She shook her head and looked down again.

He placed a finger under her chin and brought her gaze back up to meet his own.

"What is it, Bones?"

"I…..I don't know what I'm doing." She finally blurted. "Not in regards to the sex, of course. I know what I'm doing in that respect, but in regards to the relationship aspects, the intimacy." Her clinical tone suddenly changed to one that reminded Booth almost of a small child. "I don't know how to be loved, Booth."

Booth's heart broke as soon as she uttered the words. He moved himself closer to her and wrapped his arms around her once again.

"I'll teach you."