Um, this is just some random crap I wrote in Algebra while I should have been paying attention… O.o …r&r?
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Dating Game, with your host Brad Crawford!
(shot of Crawford with a microphone, standing in front of a cheesy looking set filled with hearts and blah, blah, blah…)
Crawford: (mumbling) I'm going to *kill* Siko for making me do this…
Voice from behind the camera: Um, you're on.
Crawford: *blinks* Eh? Oh, well, hello and welcome to the Dating Game!
Audience: (applause, cheers)
Crawford: Today on the show we'll see if we can pair a foxy young man up with one of 3 saucy bachelors…
Audience: (cheers)
Crawford: Our contest is a 20 year-old florist currently residing in Tokyo. His hobbies include…(reads cue card) "Takatori! Shi-NE! , revenge, killing Takatori, dead Takatori, more dead Takatori! Shi-NE!" …it just goes on like this…oh well, please welcome Fujimiya Aya!
(Aya is shoved out into his little booth thingy, glaring)
Audience(which includes the school girls from the flower shop) : KAWAIIIIIIIII!!!
Aya: (crosses his arms gives Deathglare tm)
Audience: (silence, crickets chirp)
Crawford: Ummmm, okay…now let's meet our bachelors-
Aya: No. I don't wish to date anyone. Some scary girl with purple hair in pigtails hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat and when I woke up I was here.
Crawford: That sounds awfully familiar…hmm…
Siko's voice: JUST GET ON WITH IT!
Crawford: Okay, okay! Now for our 3 eligible bachelors…here's bachelor number 1!
(shot of a certain blonde haired guy with sunglasses, smoking a cigarette. He raises his eyebrows at the camera.)
Crawford: Bachelor number 1 says that his hobbies are "women, men, sex, bondage, whips, strawberries, chocolate sauce"…I refuse to read this next one…
Bachelor number 1: *pouts* That was the best one, too!
Aya: Yohji, is that you?!
Bachelor number 1: Um…no…
Crawford: Alright, let's hear a big round of applause for bachelor number 2!
(shot of a redhead with a headband and a smug grin. He waves all kawaii-like and winks at the camera)
Crawford: His hobbies include "playing mind games, women, men, sex, bondage, whips, strawberries, chocolate sauce"- …never mind.
Bachelor number 2: You'd know a lot about that, wouldn't you, Bradley-chan?
Crawford: *seethes* Don't call me that in public…
Bachelor number 2: *rolls eyes*
Crawford: And finally our third and likely least perverted, bachelor. Give a big hand for bachelor number 3!
(a silver-haired guy sits there looking around in confusion)
Bachelor number 3: Where am I?
Crawford: Bachelor number 3's hobbies are "…hurting god, making god cry, making god bleed, bleed, god, bleed, hahahahahah" (hand to head) Let's just get started, shall we? Aya, ask away…
Aya: (looks down at his card, glaring) Bachelor number 1, suppose you wanted to take me for a romantic night out. Where would you take me?
Bachelor number 1: Hm…I'd have to say Eiko's Pleasure Palace..man, have you seen the girls there? I mean, they're so thick and-
Aya: Enough! (sighs) Bachelor number 2, if I were fired from my job…highly unlikely…what would you do to cheer me up?
Bachelor number 2: Wellllll…I'd probably give you a little strip tease and lick your ears, and toy with your nipples…shall I go on?
Audience: (cheers and catcalls)
Aya: (eyes wide)
Crawford: (pouting) No!
Schu: Jealous…
Crawford: (twitches)
Aya: Er, bachelor number 3…It's a night in and I want to watch a romantic movie. What do you rent?
Bachelor 3: 'Faces of Death II'.
Aya: Hmmm…bachelor number 2, how would you describe yourself?
Bachelor number 2: Hmmm…drop-dead gorgeous, smart, better than everyone else…
Aya: Bachelor number 1, same question?
Bachelor number 1: Uh, sexy bitch, sex magnet, sex machine.
Aya: And bachelor number 3?
Bachelor number 3: …vengeful…
Aya: (quirks an eyebrow)
Bachelor number 2: (is looking at bachelor number 1 and grinning)
Bachelor number 1: (is looking at bachelor number 2 and doing the same)
Aya: Ahem, bachelor number 2, what is your ideal car?
Bachelor number 2: (sitting on bachelor number 1's lap) Hmmm…something fast with a big backseat…
Aya: (shakes head) How did I guess? Bachelor number 1, same question.
Bachelor number 1: Same thing, baby!
Aya: And bachelor number 3?
Bachelor number 3: Something efficient.
Aya: Are we finished *yet*?
Crawford: Before this misery is over, you have to ask one more question.
Aya: (groans) Fine. Bachelor number 1, if you were to serenade me, what would you sing?
Bachelor number 1: 'Do Me, Baby by Prince…
Aya: Bachelor number 2?
Bachelor number 2: 'Me So Horny' by 2 Live Crew!
Aya: And bachelor number 3?
Bachelor number 3: …'Love Song' by the Cure.
Crawford: Well Aya, the degradation is almost over…who's it going to be? Bachelor number 1?
Audience: (catcalls and cheering)
Bachelor number 1: (is making out with bachelor number 2)
Crawford: Bachelor number 2?
Audience: (cheering and whistling)
Crawford: Or bachelor number 3?
Audience: (erupts in applause)
Bachelor number 3: (grins)
Crawford: So, Aya?
Aya: (grumbling) Incase it isn't painfully obvious already…bachelor number 3.
Audience: YAYYYYYYY!!!!!! (much applause)
Crawford: (snickers) Well, bachelor number 3, come out and get your prize…
(Farfello walks out, grinning at Aya)
Aya: AH! NO! (tries to run away but Farfello grabs him)
Farfello: (giggles and huggles Aya)
Aya: (whimpers)
Crawford: Screw this. (throws the microphone down and walks out)
Schu and Yohji: (many sounds can be heard…)
(Farfello drags Aya out, who is still holding onto the chair)
Aya: Um, I meant bachelor 1?
~*~Owari~*~