Author's Note: Guess who's back, back again. We are back, tell a friend.
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's.... Ehhnnn you know how it
goes. Ok so we're back again with a new fic that we'll try to update as
much as possible. It's us at *drum roll*.........HOGWARTS! Yaaaay! And this
fic isn't meant to make fun of Harry Potter either. Cuz we like it! Unlike
*cough cough* the Labyrinth *eeeeeeeeeeeewwww* ANYWAYS! The story starts
out with us being transferred to the Hogwarts. As some of you may not know,
Canada (which is where we are from) has a Quidditch team which means we
must have a school. So, since Jen and I are 15 and Allison is 16 (me and
Jen are almost there) we can't just start as first years. So! We're sixth
years! It's great. Ok so that's long enough. On with the fic!
Disclaimer: We don't own anything or anybody but someday maybe we will own all the battery operated pumpkin flashlights in the WORLD!!! Ohohoho yes we will.
Harry Potter and the Jelly Bean Conspiracy
Chapter 1 - Kwok, Rousselle, Walcz, pack your stuff.......you're goin' to Hogwarts.
Sarah was sitting in the kitchen one Saturday morning, eating breakfast with her family, when an owl started tapping on the dining room window. "OH MY GOD IT'S JARETH! He's come back to KILL me!!!!" Sarah yelled. "Oh...wait...its...god damn it it's just Sockmonkey! Stupid bird!" (Sockmonkey is for some reason the name of Sarah's owl) Sarah let Sockmonkey in, and the owl landed on Sarah's head. "Ow! I hate it when you do that! Give me the god damn letter!" Sarah snatched the letter from Sockmonkey's beak, and read out loud:
Dear Sarah Walcz,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been one of three students selected to participate in our foreign exchange program. Unfortunately, you will have to be resorted into one of the four houses at your new school. These houses include, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. All students will be required to bring all the equipment they should already possess, including two new items;
Magical Herbs of Europe, By Lindsay Graywater Magical Scams, By Stan Stan the Wizard man ALSO Only ONE pet per student is permitted at Hogwarts.
Your train to Hogwarts will leave from Kings Cross train station at 11:00 am on Platform 9 3/4 on September 1st. You are expected to be on your best behaviour, as you will be representing our school.
Best of Luck, Headmistress of Abnoba School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Maena Asinarius
"TRANSFERRED?!?!? Transferred my ASS! What the HELL? When did I decide to go on a foreign excha........Jen......" Sarah was so enraged that it took her a good ten minutes to realize that Sockmonkey had just come back with another letter, it took a cuff on the head and a peck for her to finally figure it out. This time it was from Jen:
Sarah!
I hope this gets to you before Abnoba sends out the letters but...GUESS WHAT I DID!!! Oh it's so exciting! I enrolled us in a foreign exchange program to go to ENGLAND! EEEEE! I can't believe it! I hope they allow us to go! I know you'll be upset that you won't be in Alcles anymore, but look on the bright side you may get into Gryffindor! I've heard that's the best house at Hogwarts. Well, send an owl when you get the letter,
Later, Jen
Sarah boiled as she thought about what Jen had written. Abnoba was the Hogwarts of Canada, and Sarah was in the best house at the school- Alcles, which was the Canadian equivalent to Gryffindor. The other three houses were Phoca (Hufflepuff), Castor (Slytherin), and Acernus (Ravenclaw). "Well, I guess THIS time Jen screwed ME over. Oh well, at least I'm leaving the country...Come to think of it, I haven't left the country since I was four years old. Yay, I'm movin on up, everything's commin' up Milhouse!"
***********************************************************************
Meanwhile at Jen's house...
Jen sat staring at her Arithmacy homework, when Tethys, Jen's owl, swooped in through Jen's open window. "Oh hello Teth, what do have for me today? OOO! It's the new Reader's Digest! I guess my subscription was a little late.Oh, and what's this?" Jen read the letter at light speed, because she's so god damn used to it, smiling to herself the whole time. "YAY! We got accepted! Quick service! I hope Sarah and Allison have gotten my letters by now...Oops." Jen looked down at her desk where she found two letters addressed to Allison and Sarah respectively. "Aw, shit! I KNEW I forgot something. Tethys! Send these quick! Oh Sarah's gonna killllllll me!" Jen was worried for approximately 30 seconds before she realized that Sarah was weak and Jen could kick her ass. Also, the excitement of going to Hogwarts overwhelmed her. She got right to packing. Unfortunately, she couldn't use magic to do the packing for her because of the stupid school rule about not using magic over the summer. She'd broken that a couple of times, and almost gotten herself expelled, but she was too smart for Abnoba to loose. She liked the thought of that. She continued packing the Muggle way late into the night.
********************************************************************
Allison was in her backyard, hanging in the air by her broomstick, doing chin-ups, when Allison's phoenix, Bird, swooped down for a tree and landed on her shoulder. "Get OFF! I can't handle this extra weight, you fat phoenix! GET OFF!" Bird, who was offended by Allison's rude remark, dug his claws into Allison's shoulder, carrying her into the air. "Ok, Ok, you're not fat! Now LET ME GO!" Bird, who took things rather literally, let go of Allison. Unfortunately, Bird let go of her right over Allison's dog's wading pool, causing her to fall into the dirty water. Allison lifted her face from the water and said, "Ewwww, dog water." She glared at her pet flatly. Bird flew down with a towel, no doubt loving his little joke on her. Allison snatched it away and started to dry herself off when she noticed that Bird was holding something. Realizing it was a letter she plucked it from his beak and began to read. Needless to say she shrieked like a banshee with throat cancer. "ERRRRGGGGHHH! WHAT HAVE THEY GOTTEN ME INTO THIS TIME!?!?!? I'm going to kill them, I'm going to kill them, I'm GOING to KILL THEM!!!!!!!!" Seconds later Jen's owl, Tethys, came flying down with a letter tied to her leg. "Light! Now what?" Untying Jen's letter from Tethys' leg, she began reading. She got angrier and angrier at each word. By the end of it she was in a mad fit and wanted to kill Jen even more...even though she knew she couldn't. "I'll just have to settle for Sarah." Allison thought after she burnt the letter. Knowing that there was no way to get out of this one, Allison went upstairs to go let off some steam on a punching bag.
*****************************************************************
Author's Note: OK we know this was a really crappy chapter, but it was really only the introduction. We know what we have planned out for future chapters, and it's gonna be great! OH! If you don't know who Jareth is (who was mentioned at the beginning of the chapter) go read our first fic in the movie section under Labyrinth. It's entitled Misfortunes of Friends, it's a humor/adventure fic. IT'S GOOD! IT'S FUNNY! REEEAAAAD! Oh AND our chapter titles are really stupid, so you can expect the same for this story. This is Jen, Sarah and Allison, signing off. We'll be back with more ASAP. Oh and about our pet names, it just seemed funny at the time.........
Disclaimer: We don't own anything or anybody but someday maybe we will own all the battery operated pumpkin flashlights in the WORLD!!! Ohohoho yes we will.
Harry Potter and the Jelly Bean Conspiracy
Chapter 1 - Kwok, Rousselle, Walcz, pack your stuff.......you're goin' to Hogwarts.
Sarah was sitting in the kitchen one Saturday morning, eating breakfast with her family, when an owl started tapping on the dining room window. "OH MY GOD IT'S JARETH! He's come back to KILL me!!!!" Sarah yelled. "Oh...wait...its...god damn it it's just Sockmonkey! Stupid bird!" (Sockmonkey is for some reason the name of Sarah's owl) Sarah let Sockmonkey in, and the owl landed on Sarah's head. "Ow! I hate it when you do that! Give me the god damn letter!" Sarah snatched the letter from Sockmonkey's beak, and read out loud:
Dear Sarah Walcz,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been one of three students selected to participate in our foreign exchange program. Unfortunately, you will have to be resorted into one of the four houses at your new school. These houses include, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. All students will be required to bring all the equipment they should already possess, including two new items;
Magical Herbs of Europe, By Lindsay Graywater Magical Scams, By Stan Stan the Wizard man ALSO Only ONE pet per student is permitted at Hogwarts.
Your train to Hogwarts will leave from Kings Cross train station at 11:00 am on Platform 9 3/4 on September 1st. You are expected to be on your best behaviour, as you will be representing our school.
Best of Luck, Headmistress of Abnoba School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Maena Asinarius
"TRANSFERRED?!?!? Transferred my ASS! What the HELL? When did I decide to go on a foreign excha........Jen......" Sarah was so enraged that it took her a good ten minutes to realize that Sockmonkey had just come back with another letter, it took a cuff on the head and a peck for her to finally figure it out. This time it was from Jen:
Sarah!
I hope this gets to you before Abnoba sends out the letters but...GUESS WHAT I DID!!! Oh it's so exciting! I enrolled us in a foreign exchange program to go to ENGLAND! EEEEE! I can't believe it! I hope they allow us to go! I know you'll be upset that you won't be in Alcles anymore, but look on the bright side you may get into Gryffindor! I've heard that's the best house at Hogwarts. Well, send an owl when you get the letter,
Later, Jen
Sarah boiled as she thought about what Jen had written. Abnoba was the Hogwarts of Canada, and Sarah was in the best house at the school- Alcles, which was the Canadian equivalent to Gryffindor. The other three houses were Phoca (Hufflepuff), Castor (Slytherin), and Acernus (Ravenclaw). "Well, I guess THIS time Jen screwed ME over. Oh well, at least I'm leaving the country...Come to think of it, I haven't left the country since I was four years old. Yay, I'm movin on up, everything's commin' up Milhouse!"
***********************************************************************
Meanwhile at Jen's house...
Jen sat staring at her Arithmacy homework, when Tethys, Jen's owl, swooped in through Jen's open window. "Oh hello Teth, what do have for me today? OOO! It's the new Reader's Digest! I guess my subscription was a little late.Oh, and what's this?" Jen read the letter at light speed, because she's so god damn used to it, smiling to herself the whole time. "YAY! We got accepted! Quick service! I hope Sarah and Allison have gotten my letters by now...Oops." Jen looked down at her desk where she found two letters addressed to Allison and Sarah respectively. "Aw, shit! I KNEW I forgot something. Tethys! Send these quick! Oh Sarah's gonna killllllll me!" Jen was worried for approximately 30 seconds before she realized that Sarah was weak and Jen could kick her ass. Also, the excitement of going to Hogwarts overwhelmed her. She got right to packing. Unfortunately, she couldn't use magic to do the packing for her because of the stupid school rule about not using magic over the summer. She'd broken that a couple of times, and almost gotten herself expelled, but she was too smart for Abnoba to loose. She liked the thought of that. She continued packing the Muggle way late into the night.
********************************************************************
Allison was in her backyard, hanging in the air by her broomstick, doing chin-ups, when Allison's phoenix, Bird, swooped down for a tree and landed on her shoulder. "Get OFF! I can't handle this extra weight, you fat phoenix! GET OFF!" Bird, who was offended by Allison's rude remark, dug his claws into Allison's shoulder, carrying her into the air. "Ok, Ok, you're not fat! Now LET ME GO!" Bird, who took things rather literally, let go of Allison. Unfortunately, Bird let go of her right over Allison's dog's wading pool, causing her to fall into the dirty water. Allison lifted her face from the water and said, "Ewwww, dog water." She glared at her pet flatly. Bird flew down with a towel, no doubt loving his little joke on her. Allison snatched it away and started to dry herself off when she noticed that Bird was holding something. Realizing it was a letter she plucked it from his beak and began to read. Needless to say she shrieked like a banshee with throat cancer. "ERRRRGGGGHHH! WHAT HAVE THEY GOTTEN ME INTO THIS TIME!?!?!? I'm going to kill them, I'm going to kill them, I'm GOING to KILL THEM!!!!!!!!" Seconds later Jen's owl, Tethys, came flying down with a letter tied to her leg. "Light! Now what?" Untying Jen's letter from Tethys' leg, she began reading. She got angrier and angrier at each word. By the end of it she was in a mad fit and wanted to kill Jen even more...even though she knew she couldn't. "I'll just have to settle for Sarah." Allison thought after she burnt the letter. Knowing that there was no way to get out of this one, Allison went upstairs to go let off some steam on a punching bag.
*****************************************************************
Author's Note: OK we know this was a really crappy chapter, but it was really only the introduction. We know what we have planned out for future chapters, and it's gonna be great! OH! If you don't know who Jareth is (who was mentioned at the beginning of the chapter) go read our first fic in the movie section under Labyrinth. It's entitled Misfortunes of Friends, it's a humor/adventure fic. IT'S GOOD! IT'S FUNNY! REEEAAAAD! Oh AND our chapter titles are really stupid, so you can expect the same for this story. This is Jen, Sarah and Allison, signing off. We'll be back with more ASAP. Oh and about our pet names, it just seemed funny at the time.........