WWE Judgment
Before I begin this story, let me take you back, as this story takes place, just four weeks before the Royal Rumble, at TLC, in Baltimore, Maryland, at the First Mariner Arena. It was a main event match for the WWE Championship. In this match, were Michael Derksen, Michael Orton, CM Punk, and Alberto Del Rio. The match was a fatal four way, falls count anywhere in town, match. Let's take you to the end of it. Michael Derksen had just attempted the California Slam, but instead was hit with the Go To Sleep. But as Punk was setting up for a pin, Michael Orton came in with a chair, knocking Punk out, and pushing Del Rio out of the way….
Jerry Lawler: Not this way! Come on! He can't steal this!
Orton gets a three count. Aw damn it! He stole it right out of Derk's hands! As the show fades off, we see Derksen seething, and the WWE logo fading in.
Next night on RAW….
As RAW came on the air, we are now in the office of John Lauranitis. Inside with him are CM Punk, and Michael Derksen. As we listen in, we can distinctly hear Derksen griping at Lauranitis.
Derksen: Losernitis, you are the WORST general manager in the history of this company! Even Adamle woulda allowed me a rematch and now you're saying I don't get one, and Punk doesn't either? I hope you get fired.
Lauranitis: That is no way to speak to Mr. John Lauranitis, the executive vice president of talent relations and the interim general manager of RAW.
Just then, at the mention of the word "talent" in the same sentence as "John Lauranitis", Punk starts to crack up. He knew that those three words did not belong within the ranks of the same sentence, and being the pipe bomb Punk was, he was about to let him know.
Punk: First off, the words "talent" and your name don't belong in the same sentence. You are a no talent loser who clearly favors people like Del Rio. People like that Randy Orton wanna be, Michael Orton. You clearly don't know nor care what these fans want. Second off, you are the biggest waste of time, space and air walking this earth. Worse one than those stupid Bella twins. Come on, Michael. Let's go.
We then fade to the ring, where we hear the voice of Justin Roberts, as he gets ready to introduce the participants.
Roberts: This contest is set for one fall and is for the WWE Divas Championship! Introducing first…
At that time, the PA starts blaring AJ's theme, who had won the title the previous night at TLC, with a win over Natalya, in what some considered an upset. AJ sure didn't see it that way. As she skips to the ring, the crowd gives the biggest pop a Diva has ever received. These fans were in love with AJ, as was every diva backstage, with the exception of this lady.
At that time, "Let's Go" would hit, as Kaitlyn would come out, to a sitting boo ovation. As she hits the ring, A.J. would then rush her and begin the attack! This girl had enough of what she and the Divas of Doom had put her through lately, and now would be the revenge point! But wait! The ref rings the bell, calling it off, due to AJ not eve laying off of her so that the match could start.
Roberts: Your winner, due to a countout…Kaitlyn! However, still the Women's Champion…A.J.!
Fast forward to after the second match. We go backstage, and see the interim COO of WWE, Rich Anderson, who was taking over, so Triple H could go back to wrestling, frustrated with the show. He is clearly not liking how this is going. At that time, we hear him speak.
Rich: Okay, play my music. Time to go out and end this crap heap show. And by end, I don't mean cancel.
At that time, "Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast" by Airbourne would hit the arena speakers, as the crowd exploded, for the interim COO, who was being accompanied by his lovely wife, Brandy Danielle. A scowl can be seen on his face, as I stated, he was very pissed at how badly this show was going. No match even had a winner, and still, he had to resolve that mess from last night at TLC. As he is handed a microphone, he speaks, clearly pissed off.
Rich: What is this shit you call a show? No match has even had a winner and on top of that, we witnessed robbery last night! And now your incompetent GM won't even grant a rematch! John Losernitis, get your ASS out here NOW!
At that time, Lauranitis makes his way out, to a round of boos, so deafening that my ears bled as it was heard. A lot of fans had speculated that this was the end of Lauranitis' run as RAW GM, but wait…
Rich: May I also see Teddy Long and Aksana in this ring, please?
PA: You know it's the mac militant…comin to get it on.
Hey hey get outta my way here come the thunder and lightining strking…
At that time, Teddy and Aksana come to the ring, with a look of concern on Teddy's face. Was he about to be fired? Nah. He's the best GM we've had thus far, but Rich had another surprise. As he turns to Lauranitis, he speaks.
Rich: John Lauranitis, you really think you can get away with such a shitty RAW show, and on top of that, the robbery that occurred last night at TLC? Well guess what, you can't. You've screwed RAW up enough. What am I saying? Simple. You're. Fired. Period. You are hereby pardoned of every duty you had with WWE and are never allowed anywhere near WWE ever again. Now get out of my ring.
Brandy: That's right. And before we get to the big surprise, Teddy, the reason we wanted you out here is to let you know that the board of directors are not pleased with your angle with Aksana. We originally hired her to wrestle, not be a seducer. So, if you want to keep your job and hers, she's going to have to wrestle this Tuesday, as Smackdown moves to Tuesday nights! Your opponent will be…
revealed tomorrow on Smackdown!
Now, as for the situation regarding the World title, I would like to see both Michael derksen and Michael Orton, as well as CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio.
Moments later, everyone is in the ring, and then Rich, soaking in the electricity from the crowd and caliber of stars in that ring. He would then make them all happy by making the following match.
Rich: As I stated before, Michael Derksen, CM Punk and even ADR were robbed last night, when MKO blasted both Punk and Derk with a chair and picked up the scraps, gaining victory. Some would call that opportunistic. I call it cowardly. Thus, at Royal Rumble, I'm ordering a rematch of TLC, however your referee, will be this man!
PA: Your time is up my time is now
You can't see me my time is now
It's the franchise boy I'm shinin' now.
You can't see me MY TIME IS NOW!
At that time, we get mixed reactions as Cena hits the ring. He was surprised that Rich had picked him as the guest ref, and a lot of fans were probably wondering why this was. But he would soon explain/
Rich: Now, I bet you're all wondering why I picked Cena. Well, its simple. Cena has a long history with all of them. He was Derk's pro on NXT and one of MKO's biggest rivals on that program. He's made Punk and Del Rio tap, while having feud of the year material feuds with them. Most of all, he'll be impartial. But now, on to the question of the new RAW GM. Since Brandy and I are running this ship, I'd like to introduce you to your new GM…
PA: I'm all grown up..
Now and I listen and learn the true song im finally hitting my turn..
King: No way! It's Stephanie McMahon! What's she doing here? I don't believe this! What a move by Rich and Brandy!
Rich: Now, before Steph takes over, there is one last piece of business I'd like to attend to. Michael Cole, get your ass in this ring, NOW!
At that time, the fans know what is about to happen. They know what Cole is about to get. He had deserved this since NXT and now it was coming. It was just needed around here. But Rich would also motion for Roberts and Chimel to come to the ring.
Rich: And finally, I'm going to say two words to you all that these people all wanna hear. First off, Tony Chimel, you fat slob. YOU'RE FIRED!
The crowd gasps, then cheers, knowing the one thing they wanted to happen, had happened. Chimel was gone. Who would be next to go?
Rich: And next, is you, Justin Roberts. You have the worst, most annoying voice on the planet and it makes me sick to know that they replaced the legendary Lilian Garcia…with you. You are one sorry excuse for a human being. What am I saying? Simple. You're fired.
The crowd cheers again, knowing they would never have to hear the nails on the chalkboard voice of Justin Roberts, ever again. But now was the moment all had been waiting for.
Rich: And finally, we come to you, Michael Cole. I'm sick of your biased "reporting". More like toot your own horn and Miz's horn. An announcer is not supposed to hate people like you do Daniel Bryan. When he choked you with your own tie, you deserved it and if I had been in charge, he would have been rewarded, not fired. And speaking of fired, get out of my ring! All of you are fired!
Rich: Steph, Brandy and I spoke about this earlier and all of us agreed, so let me first re introduce your new RAW ring announcer. Please welcome back..LILIAN GARCIA!
As "Yo Queiro Vivir!" hits the PA, the crowd goes absolutely nuts, as they see their beloved latina ring announcer back in the ring. This was unexpected as some thought Lil would never return after leaving two years back. But see, WWE needed her voice skills, and Rich acknowledged that, and gave her her job back.
Steph: And please welcome back to the WWE, the man who posed as Punk's ring announcer at Survivor Series…WWE Hall of Famer…HOWARD FINKEL! Fink will be joining us on Smackdown, replacing Tony Chimel, effective immediately. Same said of Lilian on RAW. So will all you fired guys get out of the ring? But wait…there's one more spot open, and it goes to this man…
At that time, the crowd goes insane, here in Baltimore, as "Boomer Sooner" hit the PA System. This crowd wanted JR back and they were about to get him. But wait…
Rich: Josh Matthews, it so happens that we need a commentator on NXT, to replace Cole. So, I'm sending you back to NXT, and replacing you with this man.
PA: IF you mess with me you got… NO CHANCE!
NO CHANCE IN HELL!
Welcome to my world…
This world I made…
In this world I'll break your face.
As "No Chance" by Dope continues, Vince takes his place at the commentary table, as Rich motions for the show to restart, ending this segment.