Gone. Yes, that's what he is. Gone away with his mind.
Of course, he is there. He hasn't physically gone. But mentally. Gone.
It started a few months ago. Way back when. When he was there with him. Holding onto him, not letting him slip away like this.
But then he left and now he has nobody to hold him up, above the shadows.
Of course he didn't mean to leave him, never would he ever purposely leave him. But now he's gone. And Blaine, Blaine can't help but be angry at him.
An accident. That's what ended it. That's why Blaine is here now, in this room. Rachel talked him into this, Suggested that a therapist might be good for him.
But Blaine knows it is no use. Blaine knows what is good for him. But he isn't here anymore.
He reaches out to the glass of water sitting on the desk infront of him, taking a sip. He seeks comfort in the water, as if it will just wash him away.
But it never does. He has to stay here and keep living, it's what Kurt would have wanted, a tleast that's what he thinks.
The therapist is a woman. She's about 45, Blaine thinks and she wears glasses. Her figure is small and her mousy brown hair is just hanging there by her cheeks.
He almost laughs as he imagines what Kurt would say about her outfit, but stops himself when he realises, he isn't supposed to laugh yet.
She sits there staring intently at him for a few moments. The silence is painful, but not awkward. He taps his fingers mindlessly against his leg, there is no particular rhythm.
He can't bring himself to think about music, not yet anyway.
''So you're Blaine?'' He doesn't know why she is asking, but he nods his head tentanively. Blaine does not want to speak to her, he just wants to go.
But then he remembers that he has already gone. That he needs this, he remembers Rachel's words ''You need help Blaine, it will help, I promise.''
''Okay. So Blaine, do you want to tell me what's going on? You don't have to.'' Her voice is almost kind. He wants to confide in her, but he can't. It doesn't feel right.
This shouldn't even be happening, he thinks. I should be at home snuggled up on the couch with my husband watching disney films or musicals or some re-runs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
But he isn't here anymore. Blaine is here. In this room, with this therapist and he needs to face the truth.
''I-'' he hesitates, shifting in his seat, ''I need help.''
And it feels as if some weight has been lifted off his shoulders. As if some of the shadows might start to ease away from his nightmares. The same shadows he saw on the allyway that night. That took him away from him.
But this is it, he thinks, there is no going back now.
ok yes, so that's that. Idk it was kind of a one off thing. But I hope you enjoyed it and stuff~