A/N 2019: I should have done this ages ago to warn people who are looking for a good read, but anyway. I was in the middle of reading a manga yesterday night when I received an email that someone left a review to this fanfic. I was secretly hoping that this has been buried deep within the fandom since it was written way back in 2011, so a review was a shocker and a little harsh one at that. Well, the content of the review was not really surprising. It's to be expected in this badly-written fanfic. I'm not even gonna bother denying what was pointed out. This is basically a transplanted character fic that went wrong. While I still remember what I wanted to happen here and what inspired me to write it, it does lack research and planning. I think I just went with the flow at the time and was not even taking writing very seriously. It's just for the fun of writing something for the only anime OTP that I liked and attempting to make a message across.

Well, my bad if you stumbled across this shit. I hope you didn't suffer any brain damage. I can't even bring myself to reread it. LOL! There's no point editing it. Even if I want to, deleting it only feels like running away. Until my promise to myself to get better at writing is fulfilled, this trash will remain here and people are more than welcome to talk shit about it. I still plan to write a fic that tackles depression and suicide and hopefully overcoming it, but it's a very serious subject that needs thorough research and planning. Nevertheless, thank you for dropping by. :D

WARNINGS: It's a cringe-worthy 2011 fanfic that I refuse to delete so that it can serve as a metaphorical scar for me. It's OOC, UNEDITED, DISCONTINUED and NOT RECOMMENDED TO BE READ.

Tears of Letting Go

Chapter 1: It's Over

It's already dark when he reached their apartment, where he lived with his beautiful blonde boyfriend. It's been a year since they'd decided to live together. He was so happy about it, though Yamato was a bit unsure at first but he agreed in the end.

Taichi started working as a waiter in a coffee shop owned by Sora's uncle, Mr. Jino Takenouchi. After a month or so, he started his second job as a janitor at Odaiba Hospital where his friend, Jyou was a doctor-in-training. While Yamato and his band, The Wolves was performing in one of the famous club in Odaiba every Friday and Saturday nights. They were both happy for the past six months of their relationship of living together. They started dating when they were 17 and were both accepted by their family and friends. Things in their lives where going smooth and perfect. But one day came, and thins started to change afterwards.

Yamato's band split up for no apparent reason. Well maybe there is but Yamato never tell them why, not even Taichi know. Yamato was so upset with that and they all understand him. His band started when he was 14 in getting more popular when he turned 17. It was his dream, everything in his life revolves around his band and Taichi. He mentioned before that he want his band to become famous and well known in music industry. They were very close to success until that day came and all his dreams crumbled down his feet.

Then Yamato started going out every night and he often come home late and extremely drunk. Taichi didn't say anything though he's well aware what the other was doing. "Yamato's just having a hard time about what happened to his band." He explained every time their worried friends asked him. "he'll get over it."

But Taichi started to worry when Yamato keep on doing this for the next 4 months. It wasn't normal anymore. He planned t o talked to Yamato about it but he never get the chance. It's either his at work or the other was out. Taichi also started his third job at night as a cashier in a convenient store, since Yamato wasn't performing anymore. But what makes Taichi get more worried was Yamato getting cold in their relationship. And their sex life wasn't healthy anymore like they used to be. The thought of Yamato with someone else makes him shudder. What if Yamato leave him? He has to do something. He wants to know the truth. But, does he really want to know? What if all his speculations were true? What would he do?

The house was dark when opened it. Much to his disappointment, the blonde wasn't there, again. He makes his way to the kitchen to prepare some food for dinner. It's still early though, luckily it's Saturday, no work at the convenient store. Half an hour later, two plates were placed on the table next to each other. Taichi sat on the chair as usual, waiting for a certain blonde to come home.

He's been doing this since Yamato's going out started. Even if sometimes he ended up falling asleep to his spot on the couch or in the dining table. The next thing he knew, he was being lifted by someone and being carried inside their bedroom. Well, maybe Yamato still care. He still wouldn't let Taichi sleep on the couch or in the dining table. Taichi needs a more comfortable place to sleep since he's working hard for their living. He still found Yamato's arm firmly placed around his waist. And he still feels his warm breath tickling the back of his neck every morning he wakes up.

Taichi found himself smiling at the thoughts, until he heard someone opening and closing the door, followed by muffled footsteps. Thankfully he wouldn't wait that long.

'It's probably 'Yama' he thought to himself while he got up from the table and walked to be greeted by an unpleasant drunk Yamato.

"You're drunk Again Yama." He commented while he followed his boyfriend to the living room.

"Just a little," was the only reply when they sat on the couch. Headache was forming inside his skull. He felt like there's a hammer that was consistently pounding his head.

Curiously, Taichi began asking questions. "Where have you been tonight?" he move closer to his boyfriend and began massaging his temple. "You shouldn't drink too much Yama." "Are you hungry?"

"I've already ate," Yamato answered with a gentle shake of his head, careful not to worsen his headache.

"Okay" the brunette smile understandingly, he got up from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. "I'll just put the food inside the fridge, if you get hungry just heat it, 'kay." He just heard a simple 'yeah' after he grabbed some painkillers from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and returned in the living room with a glass of water and painkillers.

Yamato swallowed the pills and took a long sip of water then handed the glass to the brunette.

Taichi place the glass on the coffee table and sat on Yamato's lap. He put his hands under the blonde's neck and lent in for a kiss. But Yamato broke the kiss immediately.

"Tai, I'm tired! This is not the time for this." he complained.

Taichi stand up from Yamato's lap and sat on either side of the blonde. Rejection and disappointment was written on his face.

They both sat in uncomfortable silence.

"Are you seeing someone else lately?" Taichi suddenly asked out of nowhere. He can't keep it anymore. Curiosity was killing him. He needs to know the truth or else he would keep on worrying every day.

Yamato look at him with a frown, "What?" he felt his anger boiled up. Is Taichi accusing him being unfaithful? What does he know anyway?

"I said, are you seeing someone else lately," the brunette repeated his question demandingly.

"What's that question all about?" he stands up, "Are you accusing me of cheating on you because I turn you down in a kiss?" he felt suddenly furious now.

"Why, aren't you?" Taichi exploded, standing up. All his patience broke in a sudden." You're always leaving, then you went home late or sometimes you didn't even show up for days like you have some business trip or something! What's your excuse, you didn't even have your own job so you can help me with our expenses especially your luxurious teenage-like living!" That was true, Yamato couldn't argue with that, but what Taichi said next melted his guilt and triggered his anger.

"Instead you always went out clubbing every night with 'who knows' who you are with. Will you stop being pain in the ass Yama! Will you just get over on what happened to your band, it-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut-off by a strong slap on his face. Yamato just slap him. He stared at him in disbelief, tears was forming in his chocolate brown eyes. How could he?

"Leave my friends out of this, and I'm not seeing anyone!" he snarled gruffly. "So now you're saying that I'm not a good boyfriend, huh?" he grabbed the brunette's arm and yanked him forward vigorously. "Why? Did I tell you to take multiple jobs to sustain our needs? And whose idea of 'moving and living together', isn't it you?" Yamato nearly hissed, throwing Taichi's arm out of his grip. "So stop flaunting me this shit 'coz I didn't ask you to do it." He roared. He took a deep breath and sigh, "I'm tired I don't have time for thi-"

"Tired or not you always have no time for me!" Taichi cut him off. "You didn't even want to kiss me, you didn't even seem to care about me!"His crying now and his body were shaking violently. "If there's someone here who's tired IT'S ME! I keep on understanding you, even if you never explain why you're acting like this. I've done everything for this relationship to work out." He shouted.

"Well maybe this relationship isn't working anymore!" Yamato countered back. "Maybe I'd stop believing! Maybe I don't love you anymore! Maybe we should end this!

Taichi stared at him. He couldn't believe what Yamato have just said. He uttered the words that Taichi feared to hear. 'Stop believing. He'd stopped believing! And… he doesn't love me anymore.' A set of fresh tears started to form in his eyes. He felt weak, his body felt numb.

Yamato started to walk towards the door, while Taichi slowly slump down on the floor.

'It's over!'

Yamato was about to step outside when he heard the faint sobs of Taichi. "It's over!" the brunette whispered silently but it reached the blonde's ear. Yamato stop on his track, he wants to turn back and comfort the other, to tell him he didn't mean it. But he no! 'It's for t he better' he thought.

'It's over'- where have he heard that before?

He glanced back at the brunette once again. "Goodbye Taichi." He said quietly and started to walk away.

Yamato yanked his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his brother's number.

"Hello, Nii-san."

"Can I come over?"

"Why? Is something happened?" the younger blonde curiously asked his brother.

"Yeah." There was a pause on the other line.

"What happened?" Takeru demanded.

"It's Tai." Takeru suddenly felt nervous. He was sure that whatever happened is not really good.

"Okay I'll wait you here. You're going to tell me the whole story the moment you got here."

"I will." Yamato feel something on Takeru's voice.

"Okay bye." They hang up.

Yamato arrived to Takeru's place shortly. It was a 5 minutes drive.

"So what happened?" Takeru questions his brother, voice was demanding.

"It's over," here it go again, what's with those words. "I broke up with him."

"What?" Takeru yelled in surprise. "Have you gone crazy Yamato? Why'd you do that?"

"Takeru, what do you want me to do? It's not working anymore." He reasoned stubbornly, voice was rising in an angry tone. Though he was expecting this from his brother, they've gone to arguments a million times before. His just wondering why Takeru was over reacting when it comes to Taichi.

"Because you're stupid Yamato!" the younger blonde snapped.

"What? So it's all my f-"

"Yes it was! Who do you think Matt?" Takeru cut him off. "You're going out every night, drinking and fucking someone else while Taichi's fucking killing himself from working to give you whatever you want. He's doing everything for your relationship to work out but you didn't even seem to care!" Takeru's face was red in anger. His once calm blue eyes were blazing.

"Because I don't love him anymore!" Yamato yelled back stubbornly.

Takeru glare at him with eyes full of anger, but never said anything. Yamato took this opportunity to speak, ignoring the glare his brother was giving to him. "I don't know when did I stop believing in our relationship but it would be the best for us. Please understand me Takeru. I know you're worrying about Tai but what about me? How about my feelings?" he explained, meaning every word but that's not how Takeru saw it.

"You're feelings huh? That's all that matters to you." Yamato winced at the tone of his brother's voice. Why is Takeru acting like this? "You're fucking selfish Yamato. You're just like Haruki."

Haruki? That was Taichi's ex-boyfriend. Yamato look up.

"No you're the worst, Yamato." Yamato opened his mouth, and then closed it. It seems like he cannot voice out his thoughts. What would he say anyway?

Takeru stood up abruptly and grabbed his coat. He was really pissed at Yamato and he need to get out of the room before he could do something stupid. His only concern now was Tai. "I wish he wouldn't do anything stupid to himself." He mumbled.

Yamato's head shoot up by hearing this. Though his mind couldn't clearly process what his brother had said. "What? What are you talking about?" he asked as an irrepressible yawn escaped his lips. He really felt tired, considering what had happened today. He stood up, approaching his brother standing on the doorway. "Stop worrying about Taichi, he'll get over it. He just needs time." He reassured his brother and smiled trying to lighten up the mood.

Takeru curled his knuckles until it turned white. 'Smiling, smiling like there's nothing happened'. And that's it! He couldn't take it anymore. Age and respect have been forgotten as Takeru's fist came flying and hit his brother's jaw hardly.

Yamato stumbled backward on the floor clutching his jaw. He stared at his younger brother in astonishment. Surely they'd been in many arguments about Tai before but it never came to the point of fist fighting. It's the first time Takeru hurt him physically because of Taichi. The glare that Takeru sent to him makes him shudder. He looked ready to kill. Yamato never thought he was capable really.

Takeru grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him upward. He stared at the blazing blue pools that were glaring at him. His eyes were watery; tears were threatening to fall anytime soon. And it did, each tear the fall held many emotions; disgust, betrayal, regrets and something he'd never seen before.

"How? How could you do that to Taichi?"

Yamato could tell his brother was trying to force down a sob by the way he speak, his voice was shaky. "How come you didn't even know what would possibly happen to if you leave him? Have you already forgotten Yamato? HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN WHAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE HOSPITAL THREE YEARS AGO?" He snarled angrily as he throws his brother on the floor. "YOU WERE THERE YAMATO! YOU WERE THERE! YOU'VE WITNESSED ON HOW HE TRIED TO KILL HISELF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHEN THAT STUPID BASTARD HARUKI DUMPED HIM! DO YOU WANT THAT DAY TO HAPPEN AGAIN?"

Yamato's eyes widen as realization hit him. Images of the pas flash before his eyes. The trails of blood. The scream of frightened people. The hospital's roof top. The negotiation. The slip. The fall. His hands. His hands that save the boy's life.

'It's over! It's over! He's gone, he'd left me and I'm all alone. No one loves me, no one cares for me. He's the only one I have. It's over! My life has no meaning without him. I want to die. I WANT TO DIE!'

Yamato sat there trembling. 'What have I done? How in the hell did I forget that?' his eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open he want to stand up but his body won't follow. He felt numb.

Takeru grabbed him again and punch him harder this time but it doesn't hurt anymore. "I could never forgive you Yamato if something bad happened to him. I thought I could trust you enough to take care of him but I was wrong!" he took a deep breath and sigh tremulously. " I step out of the way at the thought that you could take care of him more than I could but I was completely wrong."

At this, Takeru didn't even bother to force down a sob anymore as he let his own misery come out. "You don't know how lucky you to have someone like him in your life who loves you so much. You don't know how much I like to be in your place; how I wish that it's me. You don't even know Matt." He said as he grabbed his coat on the floor and walked out of the room, living his brother to comprehend what he had just said. The door slammed shut loudly, breaking Yamato out of his trance. After a moment, he stood up and dash out of the apartment with only one thing on his mind. A certain brunette that he'd hurt so much.

"Taichi."

-end of chapter-