I am finally back in HP fandom. Just about. Which means I shall be writing my response to Lykaios, for Inscribing Epistles, and I'm also rewriting Kooks. Because that fic was actually planned out. How long this lasts I do not know.

Anyway... This fic. Spoilers for DH, quite obviously. This represents my mellowing feelings towards Tonks given that she is now played by Natalia Tena (who is hot despite the boyfriend's feelings on this). Also, strange format. Unattributed speech, but I think you're intelligent enough to work out who's who.

Disclaimer: I own less than nothing. And JKR probably didn't mean to make them gay. But she did in my mind.

The place is cold, grey. All around them shapes flicker, as if afraid to come into full existence, and when looked at directly the shapes fade into nothingness. But Remus doesn't even bother to try looking, focussing all his attention on the man in front of him. The man he knows he hasn't seen for most of their lives – this man died a long time ago to be replaced by a wraith.

With part of his mind, he wonders what the hell he's looking with. He knows full well what's happened to him, and as far as he knows looking requires eyes. And talking requires a mouth.

But he has to try. He can't leave this place yet, not while he still hates himself.

I'm sorry.

Sirius shakes his head, dismissing the words.

You don't need to –

No, I do. I… I betrayed you, didn't I? We… we made a promise. I said I'd always love you. I mean, I did, but then –

He can't get the words out, tripping over them. But he has to make Sirius see. Make Sirius see that he loved them both.

Remus. I know –

I married her, you know?

Yeah.

We had a kid.

Sirius quirks an eyebrow, and Remus remembers a million conversations about various women and men over the years.

Well, I didn't exactly expect you to stay completely celibate and leave the marriage unconsummated. She's a Black, after all. Even if you'd acted all coy, she'd probably have drugged you and pounced.

Sirius. I'm sorry.

I'm not. Merlin, Moony, I'm glad you finally got off your arse and found some happiness!

I… I did love her. But you… you were my soulmate. The other half of my heart. I felt like I was betraying both of you, in love with both of you.

Sirius grabs his chin, and forces Remus to look at him. His eyes… they changed, after Azkaban. Always empty. These eyes, these are alive again. Even if that is an oxymoron.

You weren't. Twelve years I was in Azkaban, I always thought you would've found someone else. Managed to move on.

I couldn't. Not while there was a chance… I tried to hate you, then, and I couldn't. I thought Lily and James were probably up here cursing me for it.

Sirius smiles, and looks away.

You shouldn't be here with me, Remus. She's your wife. You should be with her.

Remus considers for a moment… why isn't he? He loved her too, just as much as Sirius. And then he knows the answer, instantly. He could probably get used to this, knowing everything without trying too hard.

I am. Anything's possible here, yeah? Well… I'm here and there.

This has got to be like a dream come true for you. You can make all the philosophical statements you want and know that they're all going to be right. Bastard.

You're just upset that we don't have bodies any more, which removes one of your reasons for living.

Can you see the fundamental flaw in that statement?

Remus smiles, and takes Sirius' hand in his own.

Sirius… do you forgive me? For… just for Tonks?

Of course. Remus, don't be a twat. I love you completely, but I'm not so much of an idiot I expect you to only love me for all your life. Or afterlife.

Thank you. For everything.

It's ok. Now, come on. There's so much more you need to see – I've been waiting to explore with you.

Remus lets himself be tugged forwards, and the greyness explodes into colour.