Always With You

Chapter 1: They Were Married

I gazed into his crystal blue eyes. God they were beautiful. I gently brushed a strand of black hair from his face and he smiled that loving smile that melted me inside. I wrapped my arms around him as his hand produced a beautiful blue rose.

"Oh Mamoru, it's lovely."

I kissed his cheek and walked into the kitchen for a small glass. As the water ran silently into the glass my mind began to wander. We had just been married the night before and I couldn't have been happier. The situation was almost unbelievable though. Never in my life did I expect to be loved like this, to have someone I deeply care for actually return those same feelings. But…my thoughts faltered. Why does he love me so?

Why should someone so wonderful as him love someone as imperfect as me? Why would anyone fall for me and why especially him? My thoughts continued on their trek as the water slowly overflowed the glass, running down over my hand. Would he have married me if destiny had taken another turn? Was our relationship a fluke produced by two lonely people?

Is this the way that things are supposed to be? Is this the life that fate meant for me to have? Party of me wants to say 'Yes, you deserve everything wonderful that's come into your life.' The other part of me says 'No, you know how things were supposed to be. You know this wasn't the original plan.'That's why there are times that I can't believe the way that my life has turned out. There are times that I wonder, why did things turn out this way? Why were my trials successful? Why do I have a fulfilling job and a wonderful husband?

Why would these things happen to Mizuno Ami instead of….

"What's wrong Ami?"

I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and a familiar chin rest upon my shoulder, startling me into dropping the glass into the sink. It didn't shatter as I expected it to.

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, taking a deep breath and reveling in his scent. "Nothing's wrong, just…thinking."I didn't want to tell him about my doubts, my fears.

"What are you thinking about?" His breath touched hot upon my ear causing the hairs to rise on the back of my neck. It was so hard to lie to him. Part of me wanted to tell him the truth, that I was worried about how everything had turned out but I didn't want to worry him. I didn't want to jeopardize this happiness that we'd managed to find.

"Just about how happy I am." My lips curved into a smile. It was better to tell a small fib and keep him from worrying. I didn't want him to share in my worry and I didn't want to bring back that pain to him.

His lips brushed the back of my neck softly. "I'm glad. I want you to be happy Ami." He squeezed me tight and left chaste kisses along my neck.

"And I want you to be happy." I turned around and poked him playfully in the chest. "Not going to get sick of me are you?"

He laughed, his eyes twinkling in delight as he sent a playful tickle in return. "Not ever my little ice princess. Besides you're stuck with me now. I smiled and leaned up to kiss his nose.

"Good."

I smiled and stood there for a moment as he ambled back into the bedroom with a playful smile, truly wishing that he were right. But he must have said the same to Usagi. I frowned for a moment, remembering my best friend. Was it wrong of me to love the man that she had loved? Was I betraying her memory by marrying her former lover? I closed my eyes. Mamoru returned my feelings. And how could loving someone with all of your heart ever possibly be wrong?

I cared for Usagi deeply. And I also loved Mamoru but kept my distance because he was Usagi's love, not mine. But then…everything changed, feelings changed. It really is a two-sided blade. On one hand I wish Usagi were still here but on the other I'm happy that Mamoru and I were married. Is that wrong of me? I shook my head and set the glass on the kitchen table, carefully placing the delicate flower within.

But Usagi is gone. That's all in the past. I can't change anything. So maybe I shouldn't worry so much. Maybe I should just be happy for myself and for us. Maybe…