"I can´t do this anymore." My words eclipsed the silence very much like the moon does the sun during an eclipse. My companion, sitting opposite me immersed in his book looked up.
"What did you say, Hotch?" His brown moved from the pages of the book towards my face. We were flying back from a consult in Indiana, a straight forward process after a case which had seemed complicated at first sight and warranted our presence at the scene. Since there was a serial killer on the loose in New York, I had decided to send the rest of the team to the Big Apple and tackle Indiana alone with Reid. I knew that he could be useful in logistics, diagnosing handwriting and doing geographical research.
An added gratuity was the fact we could share a bedroom without any questions being raised.
When I repeated my words, a puzzling look crept over the features of my lover. "What exactly is it that you can´t do anymore?"
"This." To provide added clarity I indicated both him and myself.
"May I ask why?" Reid seemed calm as he placed the book on the table between us.
"I know," I said, placing added emphasis on my words to indicate what precise knowledge I was referring to. When Spencer seemed confused once more, I decided to elaborate. "You have been staring at the page for ten minutes. We both know you read 10.000 words a minute, which means you are thinking about him."
"He is a friend, Hotch. I spent nearly every single day with him for a decade. Of course I miss him."
We both noted he did not deny thinking about Morgan.
"You were more than friends." My statement was without emotion, clear and concise. This was the first time I had ever indicated knowledge of what had been going on between Morgan and Reid.
Reid´s brown eyes grew as big as saucers. "How did you know?"
"I always did, Spencer." I understood that Reid would demand more of an explanation than the one aldready provided. "Morgan came to me after your first night together, confused and in an after sex phase. He didn´t know what to do."
"What did you tell him?"
"To stay with you. I saw how happy Morgan made you and how much he loved you after he overcame his initial reluctance due to his past."
"But you once told me that..."
"...I have loved you from the first moment I saw you?" I finished for him. Reid nodded. "It is the reason I encouraged the relationship to begin with. I knew you would be good for each other and I thought you could never feel anything for me."
Reid gazed out of the window of the plane, his mind dwelling on memories long past. "I felt an attraction to you from the moment we met but you were my superior, not to mention married, and thus I refuted it from the beginning. I became involved with Morgan partly because I loved him but also because we were best friends. Being with him was easy, like coming home."
"And being with me?" I questioned, rather taken aback at the turn of the conversation.
A smile flitted across the face of my companion. "It is more of an adventure. You are a mystery I am hoping to solve one day."
"And if you do not?"
"Then I shall simply keep trying." Reid looked back out the window and soft sunlight from the setting sun flitted across his face. He continued his walk down memory lane. "Everything changed when Morgan left. You were the only thing keeping me sane. Then that night in Canada happened."
I sat back and allowed the memories to overwhelm me.