Had to re-upload these without song lyrics, my bad. The story still flows properly so no need for anymore flagging okay? I wrote this with only good intentions ~ xDare2Writex
Once and Future Queen
She's gone for good.
The words slipped like poison underneath Gray's skin.
He punched at the brick wall, bloodying his knuckles. No matter. He barely felt that. He was angry all the time; at himself, the situation, the disgusting and evil people surrounding him. Nothing he did made his blood boil any less.
Keep it up Gray, and you're gonna have to ice yourself, his mind said.
Briar Rose had left some music on, and it came straight out of her room, which was directly next to his. Gray had no idea who was singing, but he sounded wounded. Good, He thought. Someone else feels pain for a little while. What can I say? Misery loves company.
Company. That word made him think about the worst subject of all; Juvia. A certain bluenette whom Gray couldn't figure out in the slightest, and whom he missed more than anyone. For six months they had spent all their time together. Working together, eating together, arguing together.
It's too late now. She's forgotten all about you.
The music coming from Briar's room was melancholy and dejected, even as Gray was.
So what even if she hadn't forgotten about him? Had she bothered to go look for him? No. Had she tried in any way to contact him? No. And this was how he knew she must be mad or worse, over him. He came to this thought four nights ago, and it really punched him in the gut. He didn't deserve her. Not her love, her beauty, her kindness, nothing.
He stared at his blackened profile in the armor of a guard hung on the wall. He really was nothing. This thing, whatever it was, this curse… was eating him alive and though he could control it, he knew it was a sign of how rotten he was on the inside. Or else why would everyone he ever cared about die?
He remembered how obsessed Lyon Vastia, his childhood friend and rival had become about Juvia in the past. She was so damn beautiful and now someone else was going to enjoy that instead of him. Maybe this was why he felt so angry- Juvia?
No, that couldn't be it. After all, he didn't feel anything for her at all. Pacing around the foyer, he decided, was better than staying stuck in a hallway listening to depressing music. But the freaking music wailed on into the foyer even louder due to the echo of the room.
Although if he actually did miss her, than that would be a sign of… feelings. There was no room for feelings in this accursed place, not with all the Zeref fanatics and the overall darkness consuming everyone here. But away from here, in Fairy Tail had there been any- ? Gray's temples began to throb. He did not want to contemplate this anymore.
Maybe at one point he thought that it could have worked. Maybe when Erza had confronted him after the tournament games, maybe then he should have made a move. But he'd been too embarrassed, no prideful to go to Juvia. He was an idiot. But that was all done with now.
He had no choice now. He had to just close himself off from feeling, especially for her. At least he could count on Erza to not disclose his location to her. In fact, Juvia wasn't even aware he had been in contact with Erza to begin with. He sighed. More secrets. Gray steeled himself. He had to place Juvia out of his mind and especially away from his heart.
He would be a stone, a rock. Whatever he needed to do to cut off any remaining ties or bonds to his old Fairy Tail gang. He was tainted and contaminated, and didn't want any of them involved in his plans. Especially not Juvia. If he couldn't have her, he could protect her. And if he couldn't protect her, he could at least stop caring for her.
Fine. He would prove it to himself that he didn't need her.
After all, Gray knew that someone who got to love Juvia, won't be him.
The music stopped playing.
End.