Title: Learn Forgiveness and Try to Forget Chapter 1/22

Genre: AU, Slash, Romance, J2

Words: 1,045

Rating: Pg13

Warnings: Angst, implied violence.

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no claim over either of these guys; they belong solely to themselves and their loved ones.

Summary: It's been six months and Jared is trying to piece his life back together and move on. When Jared's life is put in danger he is forced to trust the one man he never wanted to see again. Jensen. Can Jared ever learn to forgive the man who betrayed him?

A/N: This is a sequel to my first fic Remember Love so if you haven't read that this won't make much sense. I'm really nervous about how this turned out so please review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!

"I said no, you're not leaving me Jared. I won't let you."

"You won't let me? How you gonna stop me?"

"I'll do what ever it takes. You're mine Jared! You've always been mine and you always will be mine!"

Jared advanced on Jensen. He forced Jensen against the wall, pressing the knife against his neck. There was a moment of complete stillness before Jared smashed their mouths together in a brutal kiss that spoke of anger and hatred. The force of the kiss pressed the knife against Jensen's flesh harder, causing it to break the skin. Jensen felt the small trickle of blood from the wound trickle down his neck.

The kiss ended just as abruptly as it had started. Jared was still pressed against him as he whispered:

"I was never yours."

Six months.

It had been six months since Jared had left him.

Six months of searching.

Six months of waiting, hoping and now he had finally found him.

See contrary to popular, and more importantly Jared's, belief Jensen was not crazy. True his actions may have been . . . excessive but that didn't mean he was incapable of rational thought. Jensen's only ground for insanity was that he fell in love. He fell in love with the most beautiful, kind-hearted man he'd ever known and after his first epic failure at starting a relationship with Jared, his crippling fear of rejection from the amazing man was his constant companion. In truth it was that fear that kept him in the shadows away from Jared, close enough to watch his love and experience his life but never close enough. He was left alone to see Jared love men that weren't him, lead a life that did not on Jared's part or knowledge have him in it. So it was understandable that eventually seeing the man he loved more than his own life and never once being acknowledged became too much to bare. If the things he did could be considered crazy then it's only because a lifetime of pining makes a man do crazy things.

As much as Jared would certainly deny it he couldn't possibly hate Jensen completely, if he did then why hadn't Jensen received any unwelcome visits from the police? In all honesty Jensen wouldn't have been surprised if that was the first place Jared ended up after he left that night. Clearly that's not what happened though. The complete lack of any authority figures being sent to seek him out in all this time served as proof to Jensen that Jared hadn't told anybody about his time with Jensen or what had happened between them. Jensen liked to think that this meant that on some subconscious level Jared was protecting Jensen and didn't want to see him suffer the consequences of his failed attempt to show Jared his feelings. The thought, however tenuous gave Jensen hope. More than anything though Jensen was genuinely surprised by Jared's apparent unwillingness to involve the law, he had been fully prepared to deal with the repercussions of the police becoming involved. Jensen had enough money and influence by now to be able to deal with that particular inconvenience and any others that may have stood in the way of his search for Jared. Obviously for whatever reason it wasn't necessary, still it didn't matter now because now after six long months Jensen had found his Jared.

Jensen just wished the breakthrough could be as satisfying as it should have been. As it was Jensen was beginning to realize more and more that the victory was a hollow one. The reason his triumph was quelled filled him with a growing sense of dread and fear. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known! He should have known that something like this was going to happen eventually. You can't go through life making the kind of decisions he did, the kind of sacrifices he did and never expect it to come back and bite you in the ass, life just didn't work that way no matter how much simpler and smoother everything would be if it did. Jensen had been told more than once that karma was a bitch, but only now did Jensen appreciate just how true the statement was. As tempting as it was, he could not afford himself the luxury of drowning in his own pit of guilt. No, this was all happening because of him so it was up to him to fix it.

When Jensen said it had taken six months to find Jared, that by no means meant that it was six months leading up to this particular moment. No this wasn't the first time recently that Jensen had found himself keeping watch over Jared's new home, it was by now his most important ritual. It had been ever since he found –he wasn't even worth the effort it would take to recognize his existence, but at the same time it was his existence that changed everything. Jensen had found him about two weeks ago, lurking outside Jared's house obviously scoping the place. At least Jensen could take some comfort in how ridiculously easy he was to take down – fucking amateur – after that it only took around twenty minutes of intensive torture before the guy was spilling his guts (both metaphorically and physically – well Jensen wasn't just going to let the guy go now was he?) what he had to say chilled Jensen at the bone at the same time it made his blood boil in rage. They had no right to do this, and Jensen was damn well going to stop them. Every night from then on Jensen had returned to Jared's house, but now rather than merely trying to figure out how to approach Jared after everything, he had the much bigger concern of watching over him.

Jensen thought he had problems before when all he had to focus on was getting Jared to trust him again, they seemed petty now in comparison to what he – they faced.

The issues he faced with his and Jared's shattered relationship had to take the backseat.

This was so much bigger than them.

Jared was in danger.

Jared could die.

It was all his fault.

TBC