Disclaimer: Naruto copyright Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement is intended. This story was created for entertainment purposes only and if requested to be removed, it will be done immediately and without complaint.

Note: This was written originally for Heaven & Earth's fifth birthday contest but I decided not to enter it in the end.

Cooking Lessons

As skilled a kunoichi as Haruno Sakura was, from combat to the medical field to various other fields such as knitting, Sakura had never cooked in her life. Sakura let out a long frustrated sigh as she stared at the ingredients scattered about the once clean kitchen counters. Her mother had disappeared long ago, stating that if Sakura were to use the kitchen then she would also be in charge of cleaning it up. Sakura had agreed, believing that she could pick up this particular challenge as easily as the others. She had never anticipated it being her worst challenge of all.

Sakura looked at the wall and grimaced about thinking of how to remove some of the stains. Then there was still the matter of dinner which should have been completed by now. Sakura groaned and wondered what she was thinking when she decided to cook for the first time in her life and without a recipe no less! That was right, she wasn't thinking. At least when she was on missions she was in a cell where her teammates prepared the meal or she was blessed enough to stay at an inn. Here, well… it went without saying that without her mother, friends, or restaurants, Sakura was completely and utterly screwed.

Luckily, her mom waltzed through the door with a box of what could only be described as heavenly take-out and with an all-knowing smile on her face.

"Oh, shut up," Sakura grumbled at her mother.

The smile increased in size in response.

"So," drawled Ino with an amused grin on her face. "I heard from your mom that you were trying to cook."

Unfortunately for Sakura, she had been sipping on her tea and promptly choked, causing her both pain in her throat and on her tongue. "S-She told you that?" Sakura managed to squeak out once her sensitive tongue allowed her to speak again.

"Mmm hmmm," Ino hummed in response, the grin never leaving her face. "Any reason why you decided to try all of a sudden?"

Sakura gritted her teeth and cursed her mother for having such a big mouth. "Nope. No reason at all," Sakura said as nonchalantly as she could manage. Though, her little lie did not manage to fool the blonde-haired girl. Sakura was a terrible liar, which was ironic considering her profession and the amount of lying that would be required of it.

Ino let out a laugh. "Sakura, you know that you are the worst liar in the world, right?"

A nice scarlet blush graced Sakura's cheeks.

"So? What's the real reason?"

Sakura was silent for a moment before she said defiantly, "I'll tell you if you teach me to cook."

"What about your mom?"

"She banned me from the kitchen."

At this, Ino could not help but roar in laughter, causing everyone's attention in the small restaurant to fall on the two kunoichi. Sakura would like to think that if she really, really wanted she could sink low enough and disappear in a hole that she would magically dig up out of nowhere.

"I'll see you at my house after two, Forehead-girl," Ino told her once she managed to contain her laughter, though she continued to cackle through every other word.

Ino stared at the mess in her kitchen and then turned to her pink-haired friend with an incredulous look on her face. Sakura turned rosy in the cheeks as she immediately headed toward the sink to pick up a sponge.

"I thought your mom was joking when she said you were this bad. I didn't know that she was serious!" exclaimed Ino as she regretfully opened the trash bin and deposited the entire pot into it. Ino had stepped away for a little bit to use the bathroom only to come back to a smoking kitchen and burnt pots and pans.

"I'm afraid that I can't teach you anything else, Forehead-girl. That's the easiest thing there is to make and if you can't do it, I don't know what else you can do," Ino said with a sigh as she mentally summed up how much it would cost to replace a few of the cookware in the kitchen.

Sakura let out a small depressed sigh. "Thanks for trying anyway, Ino-pig."

That was how Sakura found herself wandering around the streets in a small depressed state when she ran into Tenten. The Chinese-dressed girl stared at her comrade with concern and asked, "What's wrong, Sakura?"

Sakura outlined what had happened while a small grayish cloud continued to hover over the pink-haired girl's head.

With a small laugh, Tenten patted Sakura on the shoulder reassuringly. "No worries, Sakura. I'll teach you!"

"Do you really mean it?" Sakura asked hopefully.

Tenten nodded and gestured for the girl to follow her.

While Tenten's gyouza dumplings looked perfectly shaped and a beautiful golden brown as she removed them from the pan, Sakura's gyouzas looked anything but. Sakura frowned at the misshaped pieces of meat covered in dough and reached for another wrapper. She'd try harder. After several tries, Sakura had a full plate of dumplings ready for cooking.

Sakura stared nervously at the pan and then at Tenten who gave her an encouraging push. With a small gulp, Sakura began the quest of cooking of dumplings.

In the end, Sakura had left Tenten's house with a few souvenir gyouza dumplings that Tenten had made. The ones Sakura had made did not survive much of the cooking process. Not only did they fall completely apart, they had also tasted incredibly strange. Sakura could not understand how that was since she copied everything Tenten had done.

Sakura had been depressed about it the whole week that when Hinata had heard from Ino and Tenten what had happened, the Hyuuga girl offered to teach the pink-haired girl.

"Really, Hinata. It's okay. I don't think I'll ever learn," Sakura said, trying to reject the offers.

"Nonsense, Sakura-san! All you need is a little patience. You'll learn in no time!" said Hinata as she took a firm grasp of Sakura's wrist and pulled her away.

And that was how Sakura found herself trying her best not to destroy anything in the Hyuuga kitchen. There were maids bustling about, watching her every move and Sakura could literally feel the sweat running down her face like a waterfall.

By the end, Sakura was no more successful than she was before. Sakura sighed at the dish of stir-fry in front of her. Chunks of unevenly cut and undercooked vegetables stuck out in every direction mixed with burnt chunks of meat and an assortment of other stuff Sakura didn't know existed.

"That wasn't too bad, Sakura-san. All you need is practice," the Hyuuga heiress had told Sakura on the way out.

Sakura grumbled at the box of 'stir-fry' in her hand. If all she needed was practice, then she was going to need a lot of it.

Sakura was not sure how she ended up in this particular situation. Sakura looked around the messy apartment of her shishou and grimaced seeing the piles and piles of dishes in the sink next to the scattered pots and pans and utensils all around the kitchen. A person actually lived here? Sakura knew what type of person her shishou was, but her apartment was far worse than anything Sakura had ever imagined.

"Come on, Sakura! Let Shishou show you how it's done!" exclaimed the busty woman.

Sakura highly doubted that this would turn out well.

As it turned out, it did not end well. Her shishou had made the strangest food that Sakura had ever seen and Sakura was fairly sure that no food should contain that amount of sake. In the end, Sakura decided to just scrap whatever was in her pan entirely since Sakura was fairly sure that food did not usually have that strange smell, flavor, or color.

After laying a nice warm blanket over her shishou, Sakura left the messy apartment to return home.

Sakura announced her presence with a heavy heart as she removed her sandals and dropped herself onto the nearest chair in the dining room.

"You smell like sake," her mother commented.

"Shishou tried to teach me how to cook," Sakura answered wearily, resting her head on the table.

"How did that go?"

Sakura shot her mother a look.

The older woman gave a small laugh before turning her attention back to the stove. "You're right. I should've known better than to ask."

Silence rained over the Haruno kitchen like a thick blanket before Sakura's mother spoke up. "So, tomorrow's the day."

Sakura nodded wearily. "And I'll have nothing," Sakura said sadly.

There was a slight pause before Sakura's mother asked, "Do you still want to learn?"

Hope filled Sakura before she rapidly deflated again. "Even if I still do, I don't think I'll ever be able to cook."

Sakura's mother gave her daughter an all-knowing smile. "I doubt that. Besides, I'm your mother. I'll know how to teach you so that you'll learn for sure."

For the first time in a week, Sakura felt joy.

Naruto was surprised to see Sakura on his doorstep with a bag of groceries in hand. "Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?"

"May I borrow your kitchen?" Sakura asked, totally ignoring his question.

Naruto nodded dumbly and allowed the pink-haired kunoichi enter into his small little apartment. Naruto still didn't understand what was going on as he watched his teammate hustle and bustle around his tiny kitchen. He himself hardly used it except to boil some water for his ramen and to store the occasional groceries that he had bought.

In no time at all, a bowl of hot steaming ramen was placed in front of the blonde-haired boy. Naruto found his mouth watering before he could help himself. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned to his crush. "What's all this about, Sakura-chan?"

A pink hue was visible on Sakura's cheeks as she took a seat directly across from the boy. "I wanted to make a homemade meal for you."

Naruto continued to look at her in confusion. "Why did you want to do that all of a sudden?"

There was a slight pause before Sakura said, "Because it's your birthday!"

Realization dawned on Naruto and his own cheeks lit aflame.

Sakura saw how embarrassed the boy was and couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked like that. "Happy Birthday, Naruto."

Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Thanks, Sakura-chan! Even though this is the first birthday present I've ever gotten, it's definitely the best." He looked down at the bowl of ramen and picked up his chopsticks, his mouth already drooling in anticipation. "I'll be sure to eat everything! Itadakimasu!"

Sakura was glad that she was able to bring such a smile on the boy's face and she found herself watching him as he ate with a smile on her own lips.

"This is great! Where'd you learn to cook?" Naruto asked around a mouth full of ramen.

Sakura felt a sweat drop form on the back of her head. "From my mom," she said a little uneasily. There was no need to tell him about the other four people who tried to teach her. Sakura mentally shuddered just remembering her attempts.