By a suggestion, I've made another Vexen story. Wonder how random this one will be.
-miano53
The Waffle Glitch
After creating replica program, No. i, and renaming the replica "Xion", Vexen went to work on reprogramming the Riku Replica again. Much to his surprise, the replica, Xion, wanted to stay in Castle Oblivion. Why? Well, no one really knew for sure…
As Vexen worked in his lab reprogramming, Zexion entered the lab.
"What are you doing now, Vexen?" Zexion asked his "superior".
"I am programming another program into the replica of the Hero of Darkness," Vexen said, using a blowtorch on a computer chip.
Noticing the random stuffed piglet on his desk, Zexion questioned, "And, what, pray tell is the pig for?"
Vexen turned to his Nobody comrade, held up the stuffed pig and yelled, "This is for science! SCIENCE!"
"Uh huh. Well, the Superior's on Line 1. He wants to talk about why the other replica hasn't left the castle," Zexion said, pressing a button on Vexen's computer.
An image of Xemnas, Organization XIII's leader, was on the screen. Looking sternly at Vexen, despite his not having emotions, he asked, "Why hasn't Xion left Castle Oblivion?"
"I don't know, sir. But we are…" Vexen said.
"Consider this your final warning. Send Xion here or else you'll both be eliminated," Xemnas ordered to the two lesser Nobodies.
"But sir. Why am I being threatened? Vexen created Xion, not me," Zexion said.
Xemnas was about to say something when he saw Xion enter the room with three plates filled with waffles and forks. She gave one to Vexen, one to Zexion and, using a dark corridor, gave a plate to Xemnas.
"What are these?" Xemnas asked, lifting up a waffle with his fork.
"I believe they're called 'Waffles', sir," Zexion said.
Looking at Xion and at the screen at the two Nobodies, Xemnas asked, "Is this in her programming?"
"I…No, cooking's not supposed to be in her programming," Vexen said.
The first word from Xion was, "Eat."
"What?" Xemnas asked, staring at her.
"Eat," Xion ordered, pointing at the plate of waffles.
"I am not going to eat…" Xemnas said when Xion began throwing a tantrum.
"Aah! Aah! Aah-ha-aah! Aaaaaaaaahhhh!" she screamed, jumping in the air and throwing a gigantic tantrum.
As she screamed, Xemnas face palmed and screamed, "Enough! Silence!"
Xion stopped her tantrum and looked at her new boss.
"I will try some already," Xemnas yelled, taking his fork and stuffing a waffle in his mouth.
Xion looked at the screen to her creator and said, "Eat."
Vexen and Zexion, "worried" that Xion was going to throw another hissy fit, ate the waffles and Xemnas said to Xion, "Well, I did not get sick. Alright, you may…"
Xion giggled, exit his office via a dark corridor, and reentered Castle Oblivion.
She then ran off into the hallways, giggling, leaving the three Nobodies to wonder what she was going to do next. Getting back to the subject of Xion, Xemnas said, "Take out any of the unnecessary bugs by this time next week. Saïx shall be there to bring the replica here."
Eating, Vexen said, "Yes sir, but…We may have a problem."
What Xemnas saw was that Xion came with three more plates of waffles. She entered the Castle That Never Was via a dark corridor again and began giving the other members waffles. As she did that, Xemnas looked at her dumbfounded.
"Vexen, you should start on reprogramming her now," Zexion said, "worried" for his false existence.
Seeing that his Superior's eye was twitching, Vexen immediately said, "I'll get right on it, sir."
After giving each member of the Organization waffles in both Castle Oblivion and the Castle That Never Was, Xion sat in Xemnas's office, eating her plate of waffles. Xigbar, the Organization's number two, entered the office with a plate of waffles and asked his Superior, "Uh, who's this and why did she give me waffles?"
Xemnas looked at the still eating Xion and said, "She's the replica."
"Oh, but why did Poppet give everyone waffles?" Xigbar asked, looking at Xion.
"Eat," Xion ordered.
"You can't order me to…" Xigbar was about to say until Xemnas interrupted him.
"Just do it!" Xemnas yelled warningly.
"Okay, I'll eat one piece," Xigbar said, eating a bit of the waffles.
"Yay," Xion said happily and left the castle via dark corridor.
Roxas, the Organization's thirteen, and Axel, the Organization's number eight, entered the office and saw that Xigbar was there.
"Uh, can anyone tell me who was that that gave me these waffles?" Roxas asked.
"Yeah, this girl in a black hood gave me waffles the instant I got back from C.O." Axel said.
"Seriously, who was that," Roxas asked the Superior.
"Number fourteen, Xion," Xemnas said.
"Xion? So, her name was 'Nio' or something," Axel asked.
"It was probably, 'Ion'," Roxas said to his fellow Nobody.
Noticing Xion came in the office with more waffles; Xigbar said, "Is anyone going to stop her or should I?"
"No, she'll throw another tantrum," Xemnas said, exasperated.
Roxas, surprised that the new "Nobody" could cook, said to Xion, "Hey, these aren't bad. What's in 'em?"
"There's 'waffle' in 'em," Xion replied.
A few seconds passed as the male Nobodies began wondering how a waffle could be made of waffle.
"Xion, a waffle is not made of 'waffle'. It is impossible," Xemnas said, knowing the basics for any pastry.
"Aah-ha-aah!" Xion screamed, throwing yet another tantrum.
When she screamed again, she managed to break the sound barrier and broke the windows of Xemnas's office. The five Nobodies (excluding Vexen as he left to find a new program for Xion) closed their ears and Roxas screamed, "Okay, waffles are made of 'waffle'!"
"Yay!" Xion said and left the castle again in the pursuit of more waffles.
Much to the Nobodies' dismay, Xion kept making waffles for half an hour. Feeling sick and seeing a still eating Xion in his office, Xemnas noticed that she had put another plate of six waffles on his desk, making the total number of eaten waffles 14. Roxas and Axel were on the floor, groaning in pain as it felt that their stomachs could explode. Xigbar, using the remaining of his common sense, left the castle and headed to places unknown. Zexion ran out of Vexen's lab in Castle Oblivion to avoid eating any more waffles from Xion.
Xion, seeing that her boss didn't eat the waffles ordered, "Eat."
"No! No more waffles, Xion," Xemnas said, leaning back in his chair in pain.
"Ow, I can't eat any more," Roxas whined.
"Serious, I'm about to throw up," Axel said, not wanting to eat any more.
"Aah-ha-aah!" Xion screamed, looking like she was about to cry.
"No, really, I am starting to feel sick," Xemnas told the replica.
Xion took one of his waffles and began hitting him in the head with it. Frustrated, the Superior yelled, "Alright! I will eat one more piece!"
When that happened, Roxas and Axel stared at Xion in awe as no one; no one ever told Xemnas what to do and got away with it (reasons for their numbers being 13).
When Xemnas ate the waffle, his face turned a pale green. He then rushed out of the office for the nearest restroom and Xion smiled.
"Uh, did you do that on purpose?" Roxas asked, afraid.
"Yes…Wait a minute, nope," Xion said, still eating the waffle.
Much to everyone's dismay, Vexen never got around to fixing Xion's programming….