Middle-Earthquake!!!
Disclaimer: Do we all really need them? I mean, we ALWAYS have to TYPE them, and it wastes like FIFTEEN seconds of our life each time we write them out! My trust is in you, don't sue me.
All was quiet in Middle-Earth (except for the usual noise, of course). The Shirefolk were busy with their doings, the Elves of Rivendell singing happily in their peaceful valley, and Sauron busily munching away at a bowl of Wheaties in Mordor (we all have to eat breakfast, you know). No one suspected anything unusual on that beautiful July morning. But suddenly...a tremor started in the ground. At first the inhabitants of Middle-Earth noticed nothing, but as it grew rapidly, they began to wonder what was going on. The shaking grew more and more fierce, until it was at its peak! Hobbit-holes collapsed, the towers in Isengard swayed, and half- alive trees in Lorien fell. If you were in Mordor you could have heard the frightened and confused shouting all the way from the Shire. But wait, we're getting ahead. Let's go back to before the earthquake started, when nothing was wrong, and see what the Fellowship was up to...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Legolas and Gimli poured themselves some Cherry Kool-Aid (Gimli actually preferred Solar Strawberry Starfruit, but he drank it all last night) and proceeded to drink at the large oak table in Elrond's dining room, Elrond himself sitting across from them. He watched them hungrily, wanting to drink it all himself, but they'd already finished most of it and Elrond knew hospitality was the key, no good Elven-King should put himself before his guests. Still...it was such a boiling hot day outside... Legolas was about to drink the very last drop out of his glass when he looked up at Elrond, inches from his face.
"Can I have that?" Elrond whispered fiercely, and sat back in his chair, waiting for an answer. Legolas looked from the glass to Elrond, to the glass and to Elrond again, and then sighed and gave up his last drop of Cherry Kool-Aid to the Elven-King. Gimli shoved Legolas in the shoulder. "I wouldn't have done it if I was you," he grunted. "Thank God for that," Legolas answered, "I know you backwash your drinks."
By now Elrond was done with the glass. Since he didn't want to get germs he didn't actually drink from it, but held it up above his head and poured the drop into his mouth. "aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh" he said slowly, savouring the cherry flavor, and then looked up. "Let's say we take a walk, my friends." Legolas stood up with agreement but Gimli remained in his seat, a look of pure fear on his face.
"What is the matter, Gimli son of Gloin?" Elrond asked. "First of all," Gimli answered grumpily, "you can stop saying that. I think I know who my father is. You've said I'm the son of Gloin so much, I think I forget what my mother's name is. And second, what if we meet....(he whimpered slightly)...the tall guy?" "The tall guy?" Legolas laughed. "There are a lot of tall guys in Rivendell, you know. Including me." "You're friendly, as are most in Rivendell," Gimli said, "but the tall guy is mean...I was walking alone last evening, and suddenly the tall guy popped out of the bushes and said I smelled really good!" "That doesn't sound so bad," Elrond said. "It's a compliment! Not every dwarf smells really good, as I have found over the years." "Yes, but here's the second part of the story. He then asked me what soap I used so he could smell just as good as me! I wouldn't tell him, and he jumped out of the bushes and drew his sword, hissing like a menace. 'all I want is some soap!' he said under his breath, and leaped away into the trees. I ran screaming into my chamber, Legolas, remember?"
"So that is why you were crying like a baby in there!" Legolas said. "I saw you run in and throw yourself under the covers, and I heard your howls above all else! My friend, if I encountered this 'tall guy', I would have fit an arrow to my bow and made ready to shoot! Why did you not draw your axe? Maybe he didn't know you had a weapon." "I broke my fourth axe this morning," Gimli said sheepishly. "you know how I am when I wake up in a bad mood." "Yes, I know," Legolas sighed, rolling his eyes. "You ran out of the chamber yelling your head off with your axe in your hands. You claimed to sever my head if I didn't give you back your Eminem Show CD. You know I asked you if I could borrow it for a couple more days!" "I have no memory of saying that," claimed Gimli, holding his head high. "and now, our talk has become off-topic. Let us take this walk, tall guy or not...though we will hopefully not see him."
Elrond motioned for both Elf and Dwarf to follow him, and they paraded out of the dining room, down the halls, and outside. Legolas and Elrond noticed a slight shaking in the earth beneath his feet as they begun to walk through the trees, but he said nothing. The shake grew until Gimli started to wonder what was going on.
Now the three companions found themselves being thrown on the ground, everything shaking, Rivendell itself swaying before their eyes. Elves standing on balconies were thrown from them, luckily falling into soft flowerbeds or moss. Bilbo Baggins was sitting on a bench and suddenly found himself facedown in the dirt, digging into it to find a root or something to hold onto. Gimli started crying again. Elrond told him to shut up but it didn't help. "IT'S THE END OF MIDDLE-EARTH!" he wailed. "NOW I WILL NEVER GET TO FULFILL MY DREAM OF MINING FOR SOLAR STRAWBERRY STARFRUIT KOOL-AID CRYSTALS!"
Other Elves took up the cry, but added unfulfilled dreams of their own.
Suddenly the tremor was gone. Everyone was quiet for a minute, and then Gimli stood up and screamed, "I'm alive! Kool-Aid crystals, here I come! Let's get packing Legolas, we're leaving tomorrow! Aren't you excited we're going to mine for Kool-Aid?" "I would prefer reverse-osmosis water," Legolas said thoughtfully, "but alright. You've already done me a favor anyways, and I've developed a liking for Kool-Aid. Elrond, we'll send you some. And if a dwarf ever comes into your dining hall, do not ask it for its last drop of Kool-Aid, or any other drink for that matter." "Why not?" Elrond asked. Legolas was about to explain, but Gimli grabbed his arm and dragged him away to pack their things.
Elrond stared after them, shaking his head. Suddenly a huge man popped out of the bushes next to him, and onto the path. "Big tremor we had there," he said. "Now what the heck was that? Anyways, you smell really good....could you spare some soap?" Elrond screamed and ran into his House.
Disclaimer: Do we all really need them? I mean, we ALWAYS have to TYPE them, and it wastes like FIFTEEN seconds of our life each time we write them out! My trust is in you, don't sue me.
All was quiet in Middle-Earth (except for the usual noise, of course). The Shirefolk were busy with their doings, the Elves of Rivendell singing happily in their peaceful valley, and Sauron busily munching away at a bowl of Wheaties in Mordor (we all have to eat breakfast, you know). No one suspected anything unusual on that beautiful July morning. But suddenly...a tremor started in the ground. At first the inhabitants of Middle-Earth noticed nothing, but as it grew rapidly, they began to wonder what was going on. The shaking grew more and more fierce, until it was at its peak! Hobbit-holes collapsed, the towers in Isengard swayed, and half- alive trees in Lorien fell. If you were in Mordor you could have heard the frightened and confused shouting all the way from the Shire. But wait, we're getting ahead. Let's go back to before the earthquake started, when nothing was wrong, and see what the Fellowship was up to...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Legolas and Gimli poured themselves some Cherry Kool-Aid (Gimli actually preferred Solar Strawberry Starfruit, but he drank it all last night) and proceeded to drink at the large oak table in Elrond's dining room, Elrond himself sitting across from them. He watched them hungrily, wanting to drink it all himself, but they'd already finished most of it and Elrond knew hospitality was the key, no good Elven-King should put himself before his guests. Still...it was such a boiling hot day outside... Legolas was about to drink the very last drop out of his glass when he looked up at Elrond, inches from his face.
"Can I have that?" Elrond whispered fiercely, and sat back in his chair, waiting for an answer. Legolas looked from the glass to Elrond, to the glass and to Elrond again, and then sighed and gave up his last drop of Cherry Kool-Aid to the Elven-King. Gimli shoved Legolas in the shoulder. "I wouldn't have done it if I was you," he grunted. "Thank God for that," Legolas answered, "I know you backwash your drinks."
By now Elrond was done with the glass. Since he didn't want to get germs he didn't actually drink from it, but held it up above his head and poured the drop into his mouth. "aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh" he said slowly, savouring the cherry flavor, and then looked up. "Let's say we take a walk, my friends." Legolas stood up with agreement but Gimli remained in his seat, a look of pure fear on his face.
"What is the matter, Gimli son of Gloin?" Elrond asked. "First of all," Gimli answered grumpily, "you can stop saying that. I think I know who my father is. You've said I'm the son of Gloin so much, I think I forget what my mother's name is. And second, what if we meet....(he whimpered slightly)...the tall guy?" "The tall guy?" Legolas laughed. "There are a lot of tall guys in Rivendell, you know. Including me." "You're friendly, as are most in Rivendell," Gimli said, "but the tall guy is mean...I was walking alone last evening, and suddenly the tall guy popped out of the bushes and said I smelled really good!" "That doesn't sound so bad," Elrond said. "It's a compliment! Not every dwarf smells really good, as I have found over the years." "Yes, but here's the second part of the story. He then asked me what soap I used so he could smell just as good as me! I wouldn't tell him, and he jumped out of the bushes and drew his sword, hissing like a menace. 'all I want is some soap!' he said under his breath, and leaped away into the trees. I ran screaming into my chamber, Legolas, remember?"
"So that is why you were crying like a baby in there!" Legolas said. "I saw you run in and throw yourself under the covers, and I heard your howls above all else! My friend, if I encountered this 'tall guy', I would have fit an arrow to my bow and made ready to shoot! Why did you not draw your axe? Maybe he didn't know you had a weapon." "I broke my fourth axe this morning," Gimli said sheepishly. "you know how I am when I wake up in a bad mood." "Yes, I know," Legolas sighed, rolling his eyes. "You ran out of the chamber yelling your head off with your axe in your hands. You claimed to sever my head if I didn't give you back your Eminem Show CD. You know I asked you if I could borrow it for a couple more days!" "I have no memory of saying that," claimed Gimli, holding his head high. "and now, our talk has become off-topic. Let us take this walk, tall guy or not...though we will hopefully not see him."
Elrond motioned for both Elf and Dwarf to follow him, and they paraded out of the dining room, down the halls, and outside. Legolas and Elrond noticed a slight shaking in the earth beneath his feet as they begun to walk through the trees, but he said nothing. The shake grew until Gimli started to wonder what was going on.
Now the three companions found themselves being thrown on the ground, everything shaking, Rivendell itself swaying before their eyes. Elves standing on balconies were thrown from them, luckily falling into soft flowerbeds or moss. Bilbo Baggins was sitting on a bench and suddenly found himself facedown in the dirt, digging into it to find a root or something to hold onto. Gimli started crying again. Elrond told him to shut up but it didn't help. "IT'S THE END OF MIDDLE-EARTH!" he wailed. "NOW I WILL NEVER GET TO FULFILL MY DREAM OF MINING FOR SOLAR STRAWBERRY STARFRUIT KOOL-AID CRYSTALS!"
Other Elves took up the cry, but added unfulfilled dreams of their own.
Suddenly the tremor was gone. Everyone was quiet for a minute, and then Gimli stood up and screamed, "I'm alive! Kool-Aid crystals, here I come! Let's get packing Legolas, we're leaving tomorrow! Aren't you excited we're going to mine for Kool-Aid?" "I would prefer reverse-osmosis water," Legolas said thoughtfully, "but alright. You've already done me a favor anyways, and I've developed a liking for Kool-Aid. Elrond, we'll send you some. And if a dwarf ever comes into your dining hall, do not ask it for its last drop of Kool-Aid, or any other drink for that matter." "Why not?" Elrond asked. Legolas was about to explain, but Gimli grabbed his arm and dragged him away to pack their things.
Elrond stared after them, shaking his head. Suddenly a huge man popped out of the bushes next to him, and onto the path. "Big tremor we had there," he said. "Now what the heck was that? Anyways, you smell really good....could you spare some soap?" Elrond screamed and ran into his House.