Chapter 1

I sat opposite her, trying to appear like I was reading the newspaper instead of outright staring at her. I had learned quickly that staring while she was around food had a negative effect on how much she ate. I think my staring made her anxious. I didn't want to make her anxious.

She sighed and pushed her plate forwards gently. My eyes snapped to hers. Had she caught me staring again? Probably. I was never as stealthy as I thought I was about it. It was hard though. If we were on better terms, I would have had a good enough reason to look at her. If we were engaged in a conversation, it would be polite to look at her. The problem was we had yet to have any civil conversations and so I had to sneak glances at her every few seconds.

As she began fiddling with the sleeve on her jumper, I noticed she looked troubled. She almost always did. I wished fervently that she didn't. Her mouth opened slightly a couple of times, but she snapped it shut before any words escaped.

I grew impatient with her stalling. She clearly wanted to say something and I was eager to hear her speak.

This time, I sighed. "Out with it, Bella."

She looked chastised and I regretted my tone instantly. She drew in a deep breath before expelling in a gust.

"I don't want to fight with you again. It's exhausting. So let me get this out before you blow up at me again please."

My eyes widened slightly and I nodded once.

"I'm staying here. I get it. You've made that perfectly clear so I know better than to beg you to let me go again. Don't get me wrong, I don't like it."

She stopped to choke out a bitter chuckle.

"I'm never going to like it. But I think if you could answer some of my questions...I just think it would help. Why did you take me? What drove you to it? I don't understand."

She began gesticulating wildly with her hands like she always did when she got worked up. I had to hold in my smile. She was cute. Like a kitten who thought she was a tiger.

"I have no idea why I'm here, why you won't let me go. You won't hurt me, I know that. I've been here, what, 4 days and you haven't laid a hand on me. I'm grateful, this would be a thousand times worse if you were violent or abusive, or you know, fancied draining my body of blood."

She rolled her eyes like the possibility was ridiculous.

"But I still don't get it. You kidnapped me, you took me away from my whole life and you won't tell me why. What am I doing here, Edward? Tell me, please."

Her chocolate brown eyes were glassy as she whispered "please" once again.

I wasn't expecting her impassioned plea. This topic of conversation was hardly new between us, but I didn't expect to hear the desperation in her voice. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't hold out hope that once she had her answers, she'd warm up to me and maybe our living situation wouldn't be quite so fraught.

I edged my hand across the table and picked up her plate. I rose slowly, at human pace, and took it to the kitchen, trying to ignore Bella's currently murderous expression. She thinks I'm ignoring her.

I wasn't. Not really. Now it was my turn to stall. I'm not an idiot. I realise this must be excruciatingly confusing for her, not to mention terrifying. I'm a 113 year old vampire and I plucked a 22 year old human girl off the streets and locked her away. She deserves her answers. Of course she did.

There was one thing stopping me though. What if it helped nothing? I was still holding out hope that things would get better if she understood my motives a little better. But what if she didn't? Was I prepared to spend forever with this girl knowing she abhorred me and always would? I shuddered slightly as the thought of letting her walk out flitted through my mind. I couldn't stand the thought.

I heard her angry footsteps following me.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" She snarled. I whirled to face her and immediately dropped my eyes to the floor at the sight of her. She looked crazed. I realised she didn't just want her answers, she needed them. I didn't know where to begin but an apology seemed like a good start.

"I'm sor-"

"Sorry isn't what I fucking want. Tell me why!"

I flinched and then whispered a reluctant "okay".

Her breath caught and she stuttered out "o-okay?"

I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor.

"Okay." I repeated and then took a deep breath.

"I don't really know where to start so I hope you'll forgive me if this seems disjointed or hard to follow."

I looked up at her, still standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. She gave me a curt nod and her eyes implored me to continue. I sighed quickly, eager to get this over with. Please let her understand.

"I haven't told you much about what I am. You said earlier that you know I won't hurt you. I never would. My...nature, it isn't easy to control but I don't feed off humans, its immoral and." I trailed off, focusing on her toes a couple of metres away.

"And?"

"And I don't want to be a monster."

A few seconds passed and I was working up the courage to glance at her, to see her reaction when she surprised me by edging forward and taking a seat next to me against the wall.

"I'm glad." She said simply. I looked up at her and she smiled slightly. Sheepishly. I stared unabashed, liking how being honest hadn't sent her screaming off to her room, but had instead left her sitting next to me almost smiling. She started fidgeting so I looked away and carried on.

"My life was just one never ending stretch and then I met you. Our kind don't sleep or even get tired but that day, I was just exhausted. I've heard humans use the phrase "bone tired" before and never really understood...but I did that day. I was walking back here and suddenly I felt like I couldn't make it home. What was the point? I was going home to nothing. So I collapsed to the ground...I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision to wait it out or if I had no control over it at all. I was there three hours, maybe four, I'm not really sure. Countless humans walked past me, most of them ignored me, one spat at me."

Bella snorted delicately and softly said "Every species has its monsters."

I swallowed thickly and continued on.

"You walked by and you saw me. I think you see me. I must have looked terrifying, it was almost dark and I was huddled against that wall, head resting on my knees, barely breathing. And yet you reached out and touched my shoulder. You startled me. I don't think I've ever been startled before - not since I was changed anyway. You had the kindest eyes I'd ever seen and I immediately felt...hope. Perhaps there was more than nothing after all. So I took you. I didn't take the time to think it through, I just did."

She was wringing her hands in her lap, eyes glued to the motion. It was probably time to attempt apologising again.

"Bella, I am truly sorry for what I'm putting you through. I know that means nothing because I won't let you go."

She sighed sadly and nodded.

"So you aren't here because I want to drink from you or hurt you in anyway. I just...I don't want to lose that feeling. I've been alive more years than I care to remember and I have never felt like that before. I can't let you go because I don't know I'll ever feel like that again and that is just unimaginable to me."

I stopped talking then. I supposed I had spoken enough tonight. She continued twisting her fingers for a minute or two before abruptly standing. My dead heart sank. This was clearly the end of our conversation. She'll return to ignoring me unless she wants to yell at me again.

I found myself saddened at the thought. I wanted to talk to her, to have her talk to me. I knew nothing about this girl. Just her name and that she wanted to go home. I wanted to know her, but I doubt she would ever let me. What the hell am I doing?

As she walked out the door, she paused and half-turned towards me.

"Thank you for telling me." Before she turned and disappeared from my sight, she smiled quickly. It was strained, but it was definitely a smile. Five seconds ago, I was reconsidering what I had done and now I was more sure than ever that she belonged with me.

-A/N: Reviews welcome.