Long ago, In the deepest, darkest corners of the internet, a great battle took place between the mighty shitlords and the darkest forces of the SocJus faction, TumFem, which is short for the Tumblr Feminazi Army.

The SocJus Army was led by Tumblus, the most triggered mistress on the planet and White Knight, who always wanted a chance to get into the panties of the "fair" maiden. Problem is that Tumblus always accused White Knight of being privileged. White Knight led the army of SocJus Warriors into battle, while the Shitlords led into battle an army of neckbearded, fedora wearing misogynist douchebags who are really polite to women.

...Just, don't ask. This movie makes just about as much sense as a Philip K. Dick novel.

After a gruelling battle, which I depict using Lord Of The Rings footage set to the theme song from Pirates Of The Carribean, 'cus the editor gets this shit wrong way too often.

The battle ended after the great SocJus leader, VenomFangX was slain by the shitlord, Thunderf00t. While the neckbeard douche monkeys cheered about the victory, many lives were lost because of triggered people who couldn't take a fucking joke.

Many years after the war ended, the movie cuts to the bedroom of some blue wolf furry, brony, pop punk loving trash known as OneWing.

"You little shit!" said OneWing in the narration.

Shut up, blue dog! Ahem, anyway. The blue wolf was seen sleeping on the bed while holding what seems to be a body pillow with a female face crudely taped to the top of the pillow. He looked up at the crudely taped face and proceeded to engage in after-sex cuddles, even if you couldn't technically do that since what he's cuddling is a fucking body pillow.

"Y'know, we still haven't gotten around to the fact that we've been together for 16 hours...That's a whole 16 hours dedicated to fucking a body pillow...Don't ask, baby...I just wanna..." said OneWing as he was about to fuck the body pillow once more.

(Heeyyy, Yeah! I wanna shoop babeh!)

All of a sudden, a ringtone of what can only be described as a mashup between "X Gon' Give It To Ya" and "Call Me Maybe" can be heard.

"Uuuuggh...What is it, Jorm?" asked OneWing after answering the phone.

"OneWing, they turned down our movie deal! OUR movie deal! Can you believe these assholes?!" said Jorm over the phone.

"Where the hell are you, anyway?" asked OneWing.

(Bitches can't handle my shit, they get really excited when they see my dick.)

The movie then cuts to Jorm, who is in the body of a long, pink haired female anime character, which he's trapped in because a device on his wrist broke before the start of the movie. He is currently at a Laundromat, dealing with his Laundry. As soon as he talks, the song plays as if it was on the radio.

"Hey, we all have things to do." said Jorm.

"Welp, good thing I sent a tiger to the office incase they turned down our deal." said OneWing over the phone.

"You have a tiger? Since when?" asked Jorm as he took out some laundry.

"Since shut up, that's when!" said OneWing.

"Welp, just hope this works, anyway. At least better than the time I shot an old man in the knee caps." said Jorm.

"Wait, you did that?" asked OneWing.

"Yeah-Wait, aren't we dragging out this scene a little too long?" asked Jorm.

"Oh, good thing you said that. I gotta take this call." said OneWing.

"A'ight man." said Jorm before hanging up.

"...Y'know, I really hope Rio stops being a drama queen." Jorm thought to himself before leaving and jumping onto a rail before grinding down it.

OneWing recieved a call from Warner Bros. Studios, which he believes is regarding the Comfy Room Movie deal that was just turned down. From the tone of their voice, they seemed to have had a change of heart. ...Yeah..

"Hello, O-OneWing? Remember when I said No to your big movie idea? I-I mean yes! You'll get your movie deal! Now get this tiger out of my office, please! I'm begging you!" said the studio CEO.

"No problem. Just deliver the script and it'll be done." said OneWing before smirking. The Final Fantasy VII victory fanfare can be heard in the background in this triumphant moment. All of a sudden, A J-Pop song is heard on OneWing's phone.

"Hello?" said OneWing as he answered the phone.

"It's time." said RyeGuy as he nodded with a big smile on his face before hanging up.

Shortly after, OneWing called RyeGuy back.

"Really Nigga?" asked OneWing.

("Freedom" by Wham! plays)

Jorm can be seen grinding down a long rail down a spiral of outdoor stairs before jumping and grinding from rooftop to rooftop. Who knew that doing something that totally defies the laws of physics could be made even cooler with 80s music? Nobody. Absolutely, positively, HIV-free, nobody.

Jorm sang along to the lyrics to the song as he performed tricks throughout town. However, he saw something flash bright in the distance, which then caused him to lose concentration and crash through a city parade that was going on for some reason.

"OW! When the hell did this start?! It's like Viva Pinata caught hepatitus from a threesome with Barney The Dinosaur and The Carebears!" said Jorm as he crashed through the parade.

...DO NOT QUESTION THE WRITER.

Anyway, after Jorm finished paying a huge fine and was sentenced to community service after the movie was over(which he wouldn't do because reasons), he arrived at Rei's house to meet up with Rei, OneWing and Rio Decade.

"Hey man." said Rei as Jorm arrived.

"Hey, Rei." said Jorm as the two of them shook hands.

"So, our movie deal is secure, is it?" asked Rio.

"Pretty much. Thank OneWing for sending the tiger to the studio." said Jorm.

"Aww shucks! It was nothin'!" said OneWing before making a camp hand gesture. ..Y'know, kinda like Deadpool.

"So, here's where the first scene will be shot." said Rei as he took out the script that was delievered to them.

"...Walmart?" asked Rio.

"Eheh.."

"...Jorm, what is it?" asked Rio.

"...I blew the budget on JJ Abrams." said Jorm as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"YOU WHAT?!" said OneWing, RyeGuy and Rio in unison.

-To Be Continued-