Dreaming Between the Pages
Prologue
The Beginning
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." E.B. White
Dear Mother,
I can easily see why—now—that this is your favorite quote. It describes you, the way you look at life with wanting to enjoy the day's events that come our way and at the same time wanting to improve them in some way so the day can be even greater. Two options that do not completely coincide with one another and yet, for the most part, you made it work. You were a loving mother and a courageous superwoman all in one.
It's too bad it's taken me this long and these past few events to transpire for me to fully see you in that light. To see everything you had done…for me…for everyone.
Today was the last session I had with Dr. Greenburrow. It's safe to say I'm relieved and happy. I even skipped out of his office earlier as if I was six years old again—I don't think anyone saw me though, but even if they did I don't particularly care, I'm not likely to run into them again.
It's not that Dr. Greenburrow is an evil man, far from it. He was nice and helpful as helpful as someone can be for a grief therapist. But I'm simply glad to have that stage of my life finished, to be able to move on. Well…for the most part…
Which brings me to this journal of letters. Dr. Greenburrow suggested—at least he would say it was a suggestion, it sounded more like a demand to me—that I should start writing you letters now that our sessions are over. He told me that it will 'keep alive your memory in a healthy way'. Healthy way? What ways exactly would be the unhealthy ones?
Regardless, I don't see the harm in writing letters about my day to you even though you will never receive them. They seem more of a benefit for me than to you. I do not know if this will be a continuing project as I think we both know how boring and uneventful a life like mine is, but we'll see.
As for now there is not much else to say. Life here in North Carolina is different for certain from the life I had back in New York. For one there's more animal life and two unless someone is taking a late night drive or swim in the lake its quiet. Eerily quiet. I don't understand how people can sleep in such silence! It greatly puzzles me. Uncle Alex, Aunt Harriet, and Cousin Nate are doing well and Nate just left two weeks ago for college. He went all the way over to the University of Oklahoma much to Aunt Harriet's dislike. I guess I have to start wearing the colors crimson and cream, not the worst colors in the world.
But it's getting late and I have an oral English presentation to worry about. Well, it's more of a memorization than a presentation. I have to recite 'Break, break, break' by Alfred Lord Tennyson and 'We Are Seven' by William Woodsworth. Not the most cheerful poems , but neither are too dreadfully long. I only hope that when I'm standing in front of everyone that the words don't slip out of my head or get jumbled by my tongue that would be my greatest fear for the day.
Sincerely,
Theresa
P.S. I miss you. I know how much you loved quotes—that quotes were the lingering memories while the book was the soul—so I'll try and put a quote on top of each letter just for you.
The day had gone by mostly uneventful for Tessa. She had turned in her English paper that she shamefully spent the entire previous night writing and had presented her fifteen minute demonstration of the Electronic Circuit Theory by using Ohm's Law for her Physics class which was the culprit for why her English paper had been written the last minute. She hoped for a B on her Physics presentation and she expected nothing less than a C for her English paper. It wasn't her best paper ever written, but whose one-night paper ever really is.
She was sitting outside the school watching the buses and kids leave while waiting for Mandy to finish up with her Language class. Although how much it counted as a foreign language class Tessa wasn't sure since it was sign language.
She glanced down at her watch nervously. They only had fifteen minutes to get to the bookstore if they were going to be at work on time. If they ran they could probably make it, although Mandy would complain especially if she was wearing her stilettos again. But Tessa had yet to be late for her part-time job or really any serious commitment and she didn't want to start now.
With another two minutes that passed by Tessa stood up from the low brick wall ready to start her sprint alone when Mandy came out of the school, face glowing red, hopping up and down like a rabbit with one of the biggest grins on her face.
It wasn't too unusual to see Mandy in this state, but it still caught Tessa by surprise since Mandy was leaving school looking like she had just one the national lottery.
"I found him! I found him!" she shouted at Tessa as soon as she came within hearing range. She leaped over, clasped Tessa's hands in hers, and continued to jump up and down. She was really starting to look like a lunatic.
Looking around to see if anybody was paying attention—few were—Tessa pulled Mandy over to the side and asked, "Found who exactly?"
"You know who," Mandy replied wriggling her eyebrows. Tessa was really starting to worry about the sanity of her friend when Mandy reached into her canvas bag and pulled out an object.
As soon as Tessa saw what was in her friend's hands she let out an agitated groan and immediately started walking away.
"Tessa, wait!" Mandy called rushing after her. "It's really him this time, I swear."
"Not this again, Mandy, we've been through this already. And, besides, it can't actually be him, that's impossible. He's not real."
Having caught up to Tessa, Mandy let out a quick laugh. "Of course it's not really him. But it's someone who acts just like him, I swear Craig—that's the him I found—acts just like him. It's the second best thing other than having the real one, which," Mandy let out an exaggerated sigh, "is sadly not possible." Then with a wicked grin, she added, "At least for now, but science is getting pretty advanced with all their cloning and all sorts of other stuff they aren't telling us about."
Rolling her eyes, Tessa replied, "I doubt scientists are coming up with a prototype in making fictional characters from books come to life in order to satisfy a teenage girl's character crush obsession."
"Sadly, that's probably true. They just don't realize how much money they could get from creating something so use—hey, what do you mean crush obsession!?" Mandy twisted her head to the side giving Tessa a scolding glare.
Tessa quickened up the pace as they approached one of the many corners towards the town's center, at this rate they were going to be late. "You know I don't mean anything by it, Mandy. But you have become a little obsessed by those books, specifically over the boy characters. You bring the books with you everywhere you go and try to find people in the real world who match up with the descriptions in the book, which is never going to come out to be a complete match up, because those boys do not exist. You're just going to have to settle for the average, ordinary boys who live in reality." Tessa quickly crossed the street as Mandy followed on her heels practically breathing down her neck.
"Oh, you're one to talk," Mandy quickly responded as she clutched her book as if it was a bullet proof shield. "I remember your Sydney Carton days' when all you could talk about was the Tale of Two Cities and your heart belonged to no one other than Sydney Carton, who I'm sorry, was a drunk and a failure and someone who I will never understand why you loved so much."
"I was not in love with Sydney Carton," Tessa replied through clenched teeth. "I liked his character who yes in the beginning wasn't the most dream worthy hero but by the end showed how much of a heart he had and how much he was willing to change which says a lot about his character. And that willingness is more important than the perfection or imperfection as the case may be. But I…I just don't want to talk about those books, or those characters, or…anything that has to do with the Infernal Devices series." Casting a sideways glance, Tessa asked, "Okay, Mands?"
With furrowed brows Mandy reluctantly placed her copy of Clockwork Prince back into her bag without another word and kept her gaze straight ahead. Tessa let out a long breath, relieved and slightly guilty.
It wasn't that Tessa hated the series or couldn't stand the characters. She actually greatly enjoyed the books. It was just that…they were eerie. Specifically the one character, the character that had made her pick up the book in the first place and eventually introduce Mandy to the series.
Tessa Gray.
The character with her name.