A/N : This is a repost but now I've developed this into something more than just this prologue.

Treading Water -Prologue

She sat in the middle of the room, her legs pulled up to her chest and hands clasped around them. If you looked carefully you could see a slight rocking motion as she moved slowly backwards and forwards. Yet looking into her eyes you could see that they were glazed over and distant.

This room had become her home; she hadn't ventured out of it in almost a year. For a moment she came out of her thoughts, where it was safe, only to remember the harsh reality that was her life. No, this wasn't the 'real' reality, this was a place where everything had gone wrong and all of her loved ones had abandoned her in some way or another.

Retreating into her thoughts was the only way she could mould life into a form that was acceptable to her. Where her sisters where still alive and Prue had never been killed by Shax. She had lived on and met their long lost half sister Paige, in her mind life was perfect nothing could destroy it. It was only herself that could do that, she had a little tormenting voice in her mind, which uttered the truth to her. The truth that she did not want to hear. She would go into fits of rage where she'd scream things

incoherently and argue with herself until the doctors would come in, restrain her and give her a calming drug or two.

Looking around her room - was it really her room, she didn't exactly own it, it was just a place they forced her to live since it happened and she became lost in her mind - it was bare, the walls were a sheer white colour. There was nothing else in the room apart from a bed and a poor excuse for a toilet. They wouldn't allow her to have anything sharp in case she harmed herself or one of the workers.

The thought of actually hurting one of the workers amused her a little. They were innocents and being a Charmed One you couldn't go around harming those who were not demons, could you? She laughed a little at her own musings. She was her own entertainment. Her own TV, video and movie. There was no one else to keep her occupied but herself and her thoughts.

On the other hand not all her thoughts were so entertaining. At least once a day her thoughts would loop back round to the day which had sent over the edge. That day which had sent her into the never ending spiral which now encompassed her. If she had only listened to her sisters, they would still be here and they would still be protecting the world from evil. It was her fault Prue had died. She had insisted on going to the underworld to save him. Because of her, when Shax attacked she wasn't there to say the spell and weaken him, because of her Leo wasn't there in time to save both of her sisters. So she came to the only conclusion she could, it was her fault even though Piper had taken the blame upon herself when really her sister was too blinded by grief to notice that it was in fact her.

'If only' those words carried little meaning anymore. She had uttered them so many times in the last year that they no longer sounded like words, just a jumbled mess of letters. It didn't matter how many times she said those words it didn't do a thing to change what had happened. Her sisters and Leo were still dead. Nothing was going to change that no matter how much time she spent that reality she had conjured where everything was fine.

Her mind flashed back to the day in question. It had all happened so suddenly. One minute she was talking with her sisters in the living room of the manor they shared and the next there were pools of blood everywhere. She had been to shocked to do anything and watched as the bodies of her sisters had fallen limply to the ground. She had watched as they had taken their last breath at the hands of her once lover. He had told her he did it out of love, that if he couldn't have her no one would acquaint her. It was only Leo's swift actions, which had saved her. He had managed to orb her to safety before her once soul mate 'swept' her away to be his love, forcefully no less.

After that incident she considered Leo dead. She thought maybe it was he who had brought her here for as much her safety as his. Since that day she hadn't heard a word or an orb from Leo. For all she knew he had clipped his wings and was wallowing in self-pity somewhere planning vengeance for his fallen wife.

She began to shake her head slowly. No, facing this reality was too much; it caused too much pain and sorrow. She wasn't ready to accept that she was alone in the world now. Alone in stepping up to the truth that she couldn't bare to deal with. This world was not as favourable as her world, in that world nothing like this had ever been conceived as happening. With a final sob she retreated into that world for the last time.