James stormed down the street quickly and efficiently moving by passing shoppers as if he wasn't there at all. The argument that he'd had with his wife made him both shaken and angered deeply. He just couldn't understand why she was so damn stubborn about everything.
All he had wanted was to get out of the house that they'd been forced into for months, and she had thrown a fit. It wasn't like he was suggesting going down to the Leaky proclaiming his allegiance to the Order of the Burning Chicken waving his nan's baffies around like a bloody nutter. He only wanted to go into London somewhere in the muggle area for a muggle moving picture or to get a pint. Was that too much to ask?
He didn't think so… If only she could see that he was and tired of all the bloody hiding. He didn't feel like a marauder anymore. He didn't feel like himself… not anymore. He just didn't feel like he was worth all of it. People were dying to keep him safe. Marlene was gone, killed along with the family she was trying to protect. The Prewett lads had died so close to each other that it was impossible to tell who was avenging who. Even Sirius was putting himself on the line to save his raging, undeserving skin.
James threw himself into the park bench that he had been blindly passing by. He was a monumental coward.
"I'm so bloody stupid." He wanted to howl at the wind. Admittedly, that was a very Padfootish type thing to do but still… James smiled. He could always count on his friend to cheer him up even if it was only in his thoughts.
Poor Pads, he hadn't seen him for months. He was too busy trying to avoid those murderers and their dark menace leader to come around to see the Potters. James couldn't even keep his friends safe anymore. He really wasn't a marauder anymore. James buried his head in his hands. He was a terrible person, a terrible friend, and a terrible father. He needed to go home. He needed to apologize. He'd nearly forgotten what they'd had a fight over anyway
He just laid there for a while. The wind rushed through his hair in a way that reminded him of Quidditch and the way that Lily smiled on their first date in August. He was going to go back eventually, but he thought he might enjoy the peace for at least a little moment. So he sat enjoying the peaceful moment that he'd gotten. Finally, he'd got up with his back winging terribly from the combination of not exercising in the pitiful excuse of a yard in Godric's Hollow and the park bench's wooden slats.
He did love his family. He whistled as he walked down the park's path to a little restaurant with an alley where he could apparate home to. The walk normally would have taken ages, but he didn't mind. He stopped to smile at the Chinese restaurant that he remembered at last. The Feng Shang Princess had nearly kicked Lily and him out after Padfoot had charged in demanding to know where James had stolen his styling gel. He loved that day. Everything had gone absolutely perfect, and the memory of it still made him smile.
James was ready to go home. He turned in smiled at the wind breathing in the smoke of the city and the aroma of the food as well as the well-known taste of lemon and ink that he could only assume he imagined because he knew it so well. With that, he vanished into the thin air…