Chapter One: Betrayal
Garrus Vakarian lost himself in his work on the Normandy's weapons systems, performing a very common turian method of relieving frustration: making something better at killing things. As long as that thing was in the right hands, the negativity was always directed at the right targets and not friends. Garrus had always found it a good way to avoid putting his fist through things when he brooded.
The war with the reapers ravaging the worlds of everyone he cared about was bad enough, but their last mission – pulling Jacob and his fellow refugees from Cerberus out of a besieged complex – had him even more on edge. As far as Garrus knew Jacob was still on board talking with Shepard, having their little lovers' reunion after so much time apart, and one more person he didn't like on board made Garrus… calibrate the weapons systems.
Kaiden Alenko walked in and made noises that Garrus couldn't stand: he talked. "Garrus, I need to talk to you. It's about Shepard."
Garrus only bothered hearing the one word Kaiden couldn't make Garrus hate, "Shepard?"
"You were on that last mission right? What happened?"
"I'm sure Liara gave you the summary. It wasn't anything really. Just a firefight with Cerberus. Is something wrong?" Garrus turned, and noticed that Alenko had a black eye, "What happened to your face? You look better than usual."
"Shepard happened to my face."
"It's about time." Garrus turned back to his 'work'.
"Look, I know I'm not exactly popular on this ship after what happened with Shepard back then, but this is serious. I'm not the only one she punched. Jacob's in the infirmary. Hell she hit him so hard I'm surprised he didn't go flying and land there."
Garrus whipped around, "She hit Jacob?"
"A few times actually. Plus I'm pretty sure he'll never have children after that kick."
"I don't get it. They were so happy together after the Collector mission." Garrus replayed the events of the mission in his head. "Wait… crap."
Garrus had suspected Jacob and that doctor were overly close, but he hadn't thought Jacob would….
"Son of a bitch." He would have bit his lip if he had lips.
Kaiden pressed, "What is it?"
"None of your business, that's what." Garrus walked by him, making a point of bumping him as he passed.
"She's the mother of my child!"
Garrus glared, "That didn't stop you from turning your back on her on Horizon. It didn't stop you from refusing to let her see her daughter."
"She was working for Cerberus! I had every right to thin-"
"You had no right!" Garrus snapped back, "Shepard was dead for two years. Two years, Alenko! Two years of her child's life she missed because she put the Reaper threat first and you wouldn't trust the woman you said you loved! Worse, when you heard she was going off on a suicide mission to protect the entire galaxy, you thought she was nuts and wouldn't even let her see Sylvie!"
"I couldn't have known!"
"You could have, Kaiden. You just chose not to. Now, she's hurt again and all because you betrayed her."
"What are you talking about?"
"Jacob, the man you chased her off into the arms of, cheated on her while she was stuck on Earth."
"That bastard! When he wakes up I'll-"
"You'll get in line." Garrus growled, storming out of the room.
He resisted the urge to take his gun into the infirmary to use it on Jacob and his new girlfriend, who was probably at his side given that enough time had passed for Kaiden to pick himself up and find Garrus. Instead he went to the elevator and pushed the button to call it; but apparently it was in use. Garrus gritted his teeth, annoyed. He had to find Shepard and make sure she was okay!
He found himself thinking back on a time when they were gathering their strength to take on the Collectors, when Shepard, Tali, Liara, and him had all sat down for a drink at a bar not far from where Liara was working as an information broker. This was before Liara had become the Shadow Broker, just a short time after she'd finished cleaning house thanks to some information gathering they'd done that turned up spies in her operation. It was good having so much of the old team in one place, even if Alenko had not so long ago been an unreasonable ass to them.
Garrus had been unintentionally hearing a quarian teenager complaining about her relationship issues to her turian friend. It was clear they were 'BFFs' and just as clear that turian was in love with her. She didn't seem to notice his subtle hints at all though, "I can relate."
Shepard glanced over at the pair, having been hearing them too, and saw which one of them he was looking at, "You have an unrequited love for someone, Garrus?"
He hadn't intended to say what he had out loud, "N-no! I mean… not right now. Haven't we all been through that when we were young though?"
His friend grinned, forgetting the funk she had been in since Horizon, "Oh come on, you can tell me. Aren't we best friends?"
Tali feigned offense, "I thought I was your best friend Shepard."
"I can have more than one."
Garrus sighed, trying to escape from his blunder, "Shepard, I promise you that I don't have anyone right this moment. When would I have time to fall in love? Right after clearing geth out of a crashing ship? Maybe right before putting a bullet through the eye of one of those collector flying tanks?"
"You're right. I'm sorry. I was just teasing you. Anything to get my head out of my own ass." Shepard downed her drink, "The nerve of Kaiden! I didn't see him questioning my judgment when I started dating him or when I decided to keep our daughter. Now he won't even let me come near her!"
Liara tried to reassure her, "I'm sure he just needs time. He'll come around."
Garrus scoffed at the notion, "Kaiden's a fool. Plain and simple. Hell, Cerberus is anti-alien and we trust Shepard enough to work with them. If Tali and I believe in Shepard, then shouldn't he? He has even less reason to distrust them and even more reason to trust Shepard."
"Exactly." Shepard kicked back another drink, "To hell with him. Father of my child be damned, he doesn't deserve the title."
Tali put a hand on her arm, "Don't say that. Family is important! Shouldn't you try again for Sylvie's sake?"
"I tried dozens of times. He won't respond to my messages or my calls. He doesn't want to try. Even for the sake of our daughter."
"That stupid boshtet. He's the one that needs to get his head out of his rear, not you."
"Tali's right, Shepard." Garrus took a swig of his own drink, "Just forget about him, we'll get you to your daughter before we head through the relay and then you can rub his face in it when we come back victorious. What's that human saying? There's more fish in the sea?"
"You're right. If he's going to turn his back on everything we had, I don't need him. All I need right now is my daughter and you guys."
Shoving his memories aside he punched the elevator button as if it would make who ever was on it get out faster. He wished more that he had punched himself though. Even more than Kaiden he blamed himself for what had happened. Kaiden hadn't been the one to push Shepard into Jacob's arms. It was Garrus. He'd been so mad at Kaiden then that he convinced her to make their split official, and then been too afraid to admit his own feelings. He saw Jacob and her growing closer as the mission neared the final hour and instead of going to comfort her when she still couldn't see her daughter Sylvie, he let Jacob do it. He let that bastard have her and throw her away.
He punched the button again, "Dammit, what is taking so long?"
EDI's voice came over the speaker nearby, "Garrus, the elevator is occupied. Commander Shepard has been moving from the upper levels to the bottom and then up again for the past ten minutes. I'm unsure why."
Trying not to panic, Garrus knew what he needed to do, "Stop it when it reaches this level and open the doors. Don't let her start it again when you stop it."
"Acknowledged."
"And give us some privacy please."
"Understood."
A moment later, the elevator doors opened and Garrus spotted Shepard sitting against the wall with her hand on the wall console, absentmindedly pushing the buttons. She looked deflated, and much to Garrus' surprise was not crying. She was looking straight forward at nothing and looked like she was stuck, unable to cry.
"Shepard!" Garrus stepped into the elevator and the doors closed behind him.
She looked up, coming unstuck, her eyes tearing up and silently overflowing, "Garrus…."
The turian sat down beside her and held her, "It's okay."
"He… Jacob was seeing that doctor while I was stuck on Earth."
"I was afraid of that."
"He… they are going to have a baby." Shepard trembled.
Garrus was stunned, "They are?! Oh, Shepard, I-"
"What's wrong with me? Why… why can't-"
"Nothing's wrong with you! What's wrong with them? Anyone with a single brain cell could see you're perfect. You're everything any man could ever want."
"Then why?"
"I don't know. I can't understand why anyone would ever let you go once they had you. They must be out of their minds."
Shepard tried to stop crying, "I'm sorry… I shouldn't be like this. Everyone's counting on me. Millions are dying every day and here I am crying because my boyfriend cheated on me."
"You can't carry everything on your shoulders by yourself. Cyborg or not, the weight will crush you. We're a team right? We count on each other."
"I counted on Jacob, and Kaiden."
"Well, that's still not even half of the people that you have that you can count on." Garrus smiled for her.
"I have to be strong for everyone. If they see me like this-"
"They'll hug you and help you kept moving forward. Just like I am doing right now." Garrus pressed, "Face it, Shepard, we're going to make you let us carry some of the load. We're not just a team at this point. We're family."
Shepard laughed, "A weird, messed-up family."
"The best kind."
"Thanks, Garrus." Her crying slowed to a stop, "Not just for this, but for always being there. You never doubt me; you never hesitate to follow me into hell. You've been there since it all started and never left when I needed you."
"And I never will."
They sat there, hugging each other in silence for a few moments as Shepard let herself draw on her friend's strength. Garrus, despite himself and despite the fact he didn't have lips in the human sense, pressed the front of his mouth to the top of her head. He meant it platonically. He wasn't a big enough jerk to take advantage of her. He just couldn't help but try to convey his caring through a human gesture.
"Ow." Shepard recoiled as the kiss touched her head, "Watch where you move your head, it's harder than mine."
Garrus stopped his face from showing the devastation in his heart, "Sorry."
She had mistaken the kiss for him bumping heads with her! It destroyed him inside. As much as he loved her, he was physically unable to give her the soft caresses that a human could easily do. Every part of him was harder than her; every part of him would hurt her if he let his passion loose. Garrus realized even more right then that he could never show Shepard how much he loved her. Even if they got together, he couldn't convey the full depths of his passion for her without hurting her.
She didn't notice a thing as she finished regaining her composure and stood up, "No, I'm sorry. I feel a lot better now. I'll be alright."
Garrus wasn't about to tell her either, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She smiled at him, "I got my crying out. Thanks for the shoulder to do it one."
"Sorry it wasn't softer."
"It's soft enough, you cuddly turian you." Shepard teased.
"Oh, now you're going to make fun of me getting all huggy?"
"Of course." She dropped the smile when she couldn't get the control panel to respond, "What's wrong with this thing?"
"Oh. I had EDI block your access and cut off her audio and video sensors in here. You were riding up and down the elevator for ten minutes you know. I couldn't let you keep doing that."
"I was? Wow."
"It's fine. I press buttons a lot when I'm upset too. Why do you think I calibrate the weapon systems so much?"
"I thought you were just sexual frustrated." Shepard teased.
Garrus pressed the button to send the lift up to Shepard's cabin, "Now I see how you treat your friends."
"No. Just my best friends."
Garrus thought he was lucky that humans couldn't read turian facial expressions that well.
Next Chapter: Disharmony
A/N: Yes I know Shepard never had kids and there wasn't enough time between Mass Effect 1 and 2 for a female Shepard to carry a child to term, but I just wanted the relationship to involve a kid. It's not like moving the two games a year apart instead of a month changes anything.