I was supposed to post another one-shot first, but I decided to go with this one instead. The other one will be posted on Monday. As for this one, this is a Phil x reader story, but the reader is 6-10 years younger than Phil.
I have absolutely no idea if this has been done in the phandom yet. I've seen it done purely for Dan and Phil, although I don't think their four-year age difference is a big deal for me. Four years isn't too bad. I have an uncle and aunt with a 10-year age gap and their marriage is doing just fine. I've read dozens of Twilight fics, so trust me when I say the age-gap concept is a subject that can be intricately written. They're done mostly for Bella/Edward M-rated fics, but take away the smut and the plots are so damn good. Has it been done for Dan x reader or Phil x reader fics yet? Let me know, because I haven't stumbled upon them yet. If so, I'll add on to that for the phandom. If not, then let this plot bunny float around the phandom for the fanfic writers to use.
In short, I dedicate this story for those of you with that age-gap with Phil. I'm 10 years younger than Phil, so I can relate. It's a fanfic, so please, please, PLEASE, don't take it too seriously. I'm here to brighten your horizons. Give you clarity. Open your minds. Give you guys an imagination you can work with. I feel like I'm taking a huge risk posting this. It's way out my comfort zone. But hey, that's what the phandom has done for me so far.
WARNING: Because let's face it, couples with age-gaps can be a sensitive subject. Even if there's no smut, the mere thought of a couple with age-gaps that stretches beyond five years can make readers uncomfortable. SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ.
Out of all the stupidest things Phil has ever done, this may be the stupidest one yet.
He didn't mean to do it. He tried. He really did. He spent all this time resisting the urge to act upon his emotions. If he did, he'd ruin everything. If he did, he'll wreck things with (Y/N).
(Y/N). The thought of her name brings a smile to his face.
Why does she have to be [age-gap number] younger than him? Why is it that the woman that has stolen his heart is someone that's unobtainable? Why did he fall for someone that's so right, yet so wrong, for him?
"Phil?"
He blinks. "Hmmm?"
"Did you blank out? I asked you if you're free to go watch a movie this weekend."
"Oh! U-Uh… yeah!" He wants to facepalm himself. Smooth moves, Phil.
She makes a confused expression. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah. I mean, sure. Sure. Nothing's wrong."
"You sure? I mean, your face is red. Are you sick?"
"No no. I'm not sick." He grabs her hand and slaps his palm on his forehead. "See? I don't feel hot."
Her hand lingers on his forehead. "I guess you aren't." She pulls her hand away. "Did Dan make you read another smutty phanfiction?"
(Y/N)'s comment makes the blush on his cheeks turn a deeper red. If he says yes, maybe she'll let the subject go. "Sort of. I found it on my own though. No Dan involved."
"Sure..." she teases. "Dan wasn't 'involved.'" She makes air quotes on the word "involved."
"Did someone say my name?" Dan yawns, walking away from the hallway and into the lounge. He eyes (Y/N) and Phil on the sofa. "Good morning, lovebirds."
(Y/N) rolls her eyes. "That would be accurate if we are in love."
"You never know." He squeezes himself between her and Phil. "So what were you two talking about?"
"(Y/N) wants to go see a movie this weekend," Phil tells Dan.
"Ooh! Can I come?"
No! Phil thinks. As guilty as the thought is, he wants some time with (Y/N) without Dan around. Even if he'll never act on his feelings, spending alone time with her is the closest he'll get to being with her. When he and (Y/N) are alone, he can pretend that the two of them are a couple and his dreams are real. He can pretend that they are about the same age and the world approves of the two of them as a couple.
"Ummm…" (Y/N) looks at Dan nervously. "I was kind of hoping it would just be me and Phil."
Dan frowns. "Oh. Sorry."
"No! I should say sorry! It's just that… well… you and I went to the movies alone last week. It wouldn't be fair if Phil doesn't get the same treatment."
Understanding dawns on Dan. "Ah. Alright. Still, sorry to intrude. I wasn't extended an invite."
"It's fine," Phil says. He can't blame Dan. Dan is (Y/N)'s friend too. Ever since she entered their lives, she made the effort to treat the two of them as equally as possible. She has a part in the duo's live every Dan and Phil fan in the world craves. For years, it has always been Dan and Phil. Nowadays, it's Dan, Phil, and (Y/N).
"So." (Y/N) stands and heads to the door. "I'm hanging out with [best friend's name] today. I'll see you two later?"
The two men nod. When she leaves, the two men share sidelong glances at each other.
They don't have to say it.
Phil isn't the only one with feelings for her. Dan does too. And this weekend, it seems like Phil has gained the upper hand.
~:~
The odds are stacked against you.
As you get ready for your movie "date" with Phil, your head is spinning in a hurricane of thoughts. You've hung out with Phil many times before. Why does this time feel different to you? Phil is your friend. One of your best male friends (Dan is another one). He gets you on a level no one else does except your best friend.
You apply lip gloss on your lips. You love Phil. It's as simple as that. Now if only there isn't a damn age gap between you two. If he had the age gap of Dan, you wouldn't have minded jumping into bed with him by now. Instead, you are left longing for a fantasy out of your reach to come true.
But it's true. You can't deny your physical and emotional attraction to Phil. You have fallen for his clumsy, nerdy, chivalrous charm. You want to be his. You want to be his girlfriend. Hell, you want to live a Lifetime Network movie with him.
Why couldn't you love Dan? Age-wise, there's no problem. Dan's only a few years older than you. Plus, fans have told you on Tumblr and Twitter that they ship you and Dan. There are other fans that ship you and Phil too, although you think it's so that Phil isn't left out. Dan is just as loveable as Phil. Honestly, you love Dan. But you aren't in love with him. You love Dan as a friend. The "in love" part is reserved for Phil.
You look in the mirror. Not bad, (Y/N). Not bad. You don't wear makeup all the time. Tonight, you decided to make it an exception. You want to look your best, even if you aren't going out to a party. You want to be Phil's definition of beautiful.
Satisfied with your appearance, you grab your purse and leave the house. Along the way to the guys' flat, you talk to your best friend on the phone. [Best friend's name] gives you as much advice as you need for the night. It's not like you are confessing your love for Phil, although you need tips on how to behave yourself so you don't do anything rash.
Phil is waiting outside his apartment building when you arrive. He's wearing his pizza t-shirt, a pair of dark wash jeans, and sneakers. He has replaced his contacts with his casual pair of glasses. Your face flushes at the sight of Glasses Phil. Secretly, you prefer seeing Phil in glasses than contacts. There's something about him looking like a real nerd that makes your insides melt more than the members of [favorite boy band].
He waves at you. "Hey (Y/N)."
You wave back. "Hey Phil. Ready to go?"
"Uh-huh."
The two of you walk to the movie theater. Side by side, your senses are more alert to Phil's presence. The side of your bodies are centimeters away from making contact.
Get it together, (Y/N). This is Phil you're with. Phil is [age-gap number] older than you. Your parents would blow a fuse if they ever live to see the day you admit to them that Phil is your boyfriend. People would stare at you in disapproval if they see you and Phil walking through the streets holding hands, maybe even glare if they see you two share a kiss. People will judge you no matter what. And the worst part? Dan. Dan would be one of the judgers. Sure, he'd learn to accept you and Phil together, but age will never change between you and Phil. You can change it on official documents, but it will be unchanged in reality. It's there in front of your face. It would be there to mock your thoughts all the time.
You and Phil arrive at the theater with no conversation exchanged between you two. That's a first. You two are talkative during your movie hangouts. Tonight, the air is thick between you two. There's tension that's thick enough to cut with a knife.
"What do you want to watch?" Phil asks as you two stand in line, waiting to get tickets.
"How about a [favorite movie genre] movie?"
He nods. "Alright." Tonight is your turn to pick a movie. No matter what his preconceived opinions are about the movie, he'll watch it no matter what. When it's his choice, you do the same.
It's different with Dan. If Dan dislikes your choice, he'll tell you that. You two would argue until you two resort to rock, paper, scissors to decide whether or not to go with your choice of movie. If not, you two have to compromise. You don't mind the debates, but you wish Dan would appreciate your movie picks like Phil does.
You and Phil purchase your tickets, buy a bucket of popcorn and some candy at the concession counter, and head inside the movie room. As usual, you two choose a seat in the middle row of seats. Both of you prefer this seating area since those are the seats where you can view the movie better. You two make comments on the opening trailers on the large projected screen. The light talk eases you two out of the awkward silence, but barely makes a dent at the tension.
The movie begins and you two fall back into silence. Throughout the movie, you sneak glances at him. You analyze his expressions. His laughs when something hilarious happens. His frowns when something unfortunate happens. His rage face when something unfair happens. His vulnerable face when something swoonworthy happens. You've seen these expressions thousands of times, but the burning atmosphere has made you hyperaware of every little action Phil makes. Your feelings are making you this close to saying or doing something you'll regret.
The food is gone by the time the movie finishes. You two exit the room and throw away your trash. Next, Phil will walk you home as you two discuss what happened in the movie. Despite the lack of flowing conversation, the routine still stands. He walks you home to make sure you are safe. His fear of burglars makes him protective of you.
But you two don't talk about the movie. The silence hangs in the air as he walks you home. The awkwardness is back. What do you say? It's as if you two are strangers. If it isn't for how close you two walk next to each other, people could assume you two are on a first date.
Soon, you two reach your house. You face each other. You look up at him.
"Phil, talk to me," you say.
"I'm talking."
"How was the movie?"
"Good. You made a great pick."
"Is that all you can say?"
He shrugs. "It wasn't horrible."
"You liked it?"
"Yeah."
You sigh, resisting the urge to throw a fit. "What's one thing you didn't like about the movie?"
"Nothing. Everything was okay. The story was good. The ending was good. Everything was good."
"Goddammit Phil, stop saying everything is good!"
Your statement takes him by surprise. "What do you want me to say?"
You raise your arms in the air. "I don't know. But if I hear you say the word 'good' one more time, I'll scream."
"Okay, okay." He looks over your shoulder. "You should go in. It's late."
"I know it's late, and I don't care." You can't do this anymore. It's too much. This isn't like you and Phil. You two barely have awkward silences between you two. Friends aren't supposed to have awkward silences. Awkward silences are reserved for people who barely know each other or are having a not-so-fun time on a first date. Neither of those options apply to you and Phil.
You play with your fingers nervously. "Phil, what's going on? Why is this happening to us? We're supposed to be having a good time."
"Who said I'm not having a good time?"
"Don't pull that bullshit on me. You and I both know this isn't how we usually are."
"Well, if you must know, you were pretty quiet for the last few hours too. We're both at fault."
"I was only quiet because you were quiet! What am I supposed to say when I have no idea what we should be talking about?"
"Are you blaming me for this?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. I don't know anymore." You turn your back on him. You look at the sidewalk. You are confused. Tonight was supposed to be just another movie night between you and Phil. Instead, there's a chance that the night will end in disaster. "Just go, Phil. Maybe if we sleep this off, everything will be fine."
"(Y/N)." You look up and see Phil has moved so he's right back in front of you. "I… ummm…" His hands are behind his back and he's looking at you shyly.
"What Phil? What could you possibly say now that can fix whatever this-" You motion to space between you two, "is."
"It's not what I can say. It's what I can do."
You have no time to back away from his next move. He grabs your face and kisses you. When his lips touches yours, you have no desire to pull away. The rational part of your brain is screaming at you to pull away. This is wrong. This is the moment you are supposed to avoid at all costs. All night, you succeeded at not making rash decisions. And yet, this is still happening. But you don't fight it. Because somewhere, in the depths of your brain, you know that this is meant to happen. It doesn't matter how wrong it's supposed to be. It could have been you to impulsively kiss Phil instead of Phil impulsively kissing you.
You lose yourself in the kiss. You snake your arms around his neck and bury your fingers in his hair. The same raven hair you've dreamed about your fingers touching since you first met Phil. You have no idea how long the kiss lasts. But it must have lasted a while for you two to be panting for breath when the kiss is broken.
"Why did you do that?" you ask, catching your breath.
"I had to." His hands are still on your face and one of his thumbs stroke your cheek. "I've been wanting to do that for a long, long time."
"Me too," you whisper.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"I love you, (Y/N)."
You gasp, thinking that you didn't hear him right. "What?"
"I love you. God, I love you so much that I'm surprised you haven't run for the hills."
You chuckle. You heard him right. "Why would I be running if I love you too?"
He gasps. "You love me too?"
"Of course I do, you dork. You couldn't tell?"
"N-no! I thought it was just me." His blue eyes soften. "All this time, I thought I was the only feeling this way."
"Strange. I thought I was being a silly schoolgirl for falling in love with you."
"Then I must be the silly schoolboy."
You two laugh. In spite of the doubts echoing at the back of your head, you are extremely happy to know that your feelings aren't one-sided. Phil, the boy who was once your idol that now has turned into one of your closest confidants, loves you too.
Which reminds you of the reason why this is wrong.
"Phil, what about our age?" You reach up to move his hands away from your face. You take a step back. The small distance brings back your mind's rationality. "I'm [age-gap number] younger than you. You're my sempai, but not the adorable kind we watch in anime. If you were 18 and I was [age according to age-gap number], you'd be considered a pedophile for kissing me."
"I know. It was always about our age-gap, isn't it?" He sighs, shoving his hands in his jeans' pocket. "Me being [age-gap number] older is the only reason why I didn't act on my feelings. But tell me, if we didn't have that age difference, would that change how you feel about me?"
"Of course not. You could be 60 and I'd still love you. Although that would be a little bit more creepy and I don't want to treat you like a sugar daddy."
"Exactly. Everyone says age is but a number, but that's a lie. It's a number that matters."
"Can't argue with that."
Age is a pain in the ass. If only you were born six years earlier than your birthday. Then age wouldn't have mattered. You and Phil could have fallen in love naturally, and this moment would occur like every other cheesy romantic movie you've watched, minus the discussion about an age-gap.
Fate has a strange sense of humor. If Phil is destined to be yours, then why argue? The love between you two is real. You don't love Phil because he's famous. Hell, if Phil was famous with a nasty attitude, you would have kissed his sorry ass goodbye. But he isn't like that. Phil is your description of your perfect significant other.
"There's something else you should know," Phil says.
"What? Are you gonna tell me you like cheese now?" you joke.
He laughs. "No. Ask me that again in ten years." His expression turns serious. "So… I may not be the only one that has feelings for you."
Oh boy. You should have seen this coming. Of course this would be the bombshell. How could something obvious still take you by surprise? "Let me guess, Dan?"
He raises an eyebrow, surprised that you guessed right. "How'd you know?"
"Phil, if the fans can see it, so can I." You noticed the signs for a while. Though you were oblivious to Phil's hints, you weren't oblivious to Dan's. Phil's actions made you believe he saw you as merely a friend, maybe even like a little sister. Dan's actions hinted that there's a possibility he fancies you. The way he teases you reminds you of how two of your friends that are dating act around each other. The way you two find yourselves debating over pointless topics leaves you thinking if he's debating with you on purpose. And maybe the way he subtly teases how you and Phil could be a good couple is his way of hiding his true feelings for you. Unlike Phil, it seemed like Dan always tried to find a way to spend time with you. You've waited for Dan to confirm your suspicions. He never did.
Now you know. Dan hasn't told you because he knows Phil has feelings for you too. Those two are best friends. The chances of Dan being unaware of Phil's feelings is slim.
"I feel like I've betrayed Dan right now." Phil looks at you sheepishly. "I've revealed his secret. I'm a terrible best friend."
"No you aren't." Your hand reaches out to touch his arm in an assuring gesture. "I'm glad you told me. If Dan saw us together, he'd be totally pissed he didn't say confess before you did."
"True. And…?"
"And what?"
"Do you return his feelings?"
You roll your eyes. "Phil! I told I love you! Why would I love Dan if I'm in love with you?"
"Sorry! I just had to be sure. You could be in love with both of us."
"But I'm not. Yes, I love Dan, but as a friend. And I'll be telling him that when you tell him about us."
"Us?"
"Yeah. There's an us, right?"
"Yes!" He slaps his forehead. "Wow, I'm being a complete idiot right now."
You grin. "It's okay. You're my idiot. We can be idiots together."
You are two idiots. Who cares what anyone else thought?
Phil pulls out his phone and checks the time. "Close to 11. I should get going."
You nod. You wrap your arms around his waist, the side of your head against his chest. "See you tomorrow?"
"Sure." He kisses your hair. "We'll make this work. I promise."
"I know. I'll be fighting for us too."
You will fight for Phil. You have to. You've come this far. You two may be a twisted version of Adam and Eve, but you two are the Adam and Eve that will last.
Because when Phil kisses you good night, with streetlights casting a romantic glow on the two of you, there's no turning back.
You are Phil's forbidden fruit, and you'll make sure to take away that forbidden label.
Okay, so a large portion of the story was fluff. Kinda trying to adjust to writing in the fluff zone with a subject that's meant to be angsty. I tried to use a fluff plot with an angst subject. I guess you can call it flangst?
Main message: Love is love, no matter the circumstances. As long as the hearts of the two people have a strong, unbreakable connection, then who are we to try and tear them apart?
Should I add on? It would be interesting to see how Dan will react to the new couple…
Until next time.
~ AA