Reflections

It had been a while since he had done this –He wondered if he ought to feel more guilty than he did for his occasional amnesia, but he pushed such emotions to the side as he often did concerning those thoughts. A single glove rested at his side, gently placed beside his thigh along his messy secondary bunk...placed, but not forgotten.

A free thumb glossed over the faces of his past, forever frozen in time on that worn piece of paper. A smile of discomfort lingered on the teen's lips before he sighed, only spoiling himself a few seconds more before he slipped the bit under his pillow, arching his chest over his knees. His elbows clipped the caps as he held out his palm, eyes scanning it thoroughly as the limb morphed from human to ape to feline...canine, aquatic, ovis, swine, reptilian and back to the five fingers he normally displayed. His shoulders rose with the swell of his lungs, simply staring at that open palm until time fell away and became one with his pulse.

He blinked when his door slipped away into the wall with an additional boost of help from the dark energy engulfing it, revealing the sternest of the titans standing in its frame. He hardly had time to react to the swaddle of socks and else what holding the mass together before it slammed into the side of his head, nearly knocking him out for the scent alone.

"You think setting traps with those things is funny?" she uttered darkly, her eyes glowing with irritated fury, though questioned why he didn't seem bothered by her appearance, and by extension, her presence.

Instead, the shortest of the titans chose to sniff the wad and twist his face sour, "Yikes...that's a good one." he gagged, pressing his palm flat against his nose, "Not bine doh. Smbells li'Cy's."

Holding it out before him, the teen inched his way to his window, careful not to trigger some form of secondary attack from the weapon before he tossed it out, craning his neck to watch it disappear into the depths below. Dusting his hands off, he shut the glass frame, giving the girl a thumbs up, "Done and done. You're welcome. I'm a hero."

Her violet eyes narrowed darkly.

"Honest, Rave, it wasn't mine. You know I own up to my pranks, especially if they go haywire." he reasoned, tossing himself back onto his bed. Tucking an arm behind his head, he lifted the naked hand, twisting it above him lazily as she scoured him through, and though her glare burned through his very soul, the changeling chose to ignore the attack, chewing along his cheek instead. But his words did speak true. Beast Boy wasn't the type to lie to her. He knew better. Her shoulders dipped with her grunt, turning in place to leave.

His brows knit softly for a moment, emerald greens gazing out at the flow of her cloak, his internal clock counting the gap tighter and tighter with every second of her retreat.

"Hey...Raven?"

Her heel tapped the floor, pausing in her step.

"What?"

He winced. He hadn't expected her to answer.

Had his voice been that loud? Oops.

His eyes gazed along his hand once more as she remained faceless in the hallway, figuring he might as well humor himself. The empath valued her time, however minimal it might be.

"...What wouldja think of me as a blond?"

The small smile he attempted to gather broke apart at the slice of her words, honest and true from the deepest core of her essence.

"You'd look stupid." she uttered grimly, preparing herself for the broken pitched laugh that never came. Her brows flattened as silence rang through the air between them, and only the tiniest of sighs escaped the room before the door slid shut.

"...Oh."

The cup swam cold in her hands, spinning half the remains in a gentle swirl. She found the ritual of brewing her favorite tea enjoyable, but unfulfilling as the energy surrounding her still felt unbalanced.

But, what?

She had meditated twice that day: morning after sunrise (as she often did) had been a peaceful ordeal, and her mid day mantra had truly soothed her until her walk landed her in a rather stench filled situation. Her porcelain fingers strummed along the counter, elbow sorely digging into the granite. What else could there be? Starfire hadn't required any assistance today. In fact, the Tamaranean had taken the liberty of researching Earthly music at the local mall with Cyborg. Raven would get him later, but that was beside the point. Robin had locked himself away in his room, per the norm, and emerged for his scheduled jog and yoga session, and a bit of lunch before disappearing into the depths of the tower once again. If anyone could claim to be more mysterious than Raven, the award went to their leader.

But Raven respected his privacy. Everyone had their secrets.

As much as she wanted to deny it, there was something down in the very pit of her being that urged her to check on Beast Boy.

A small snort.

What business did she have getting curious about that goofball? Honestly, today had been a quiet day in the tower, and one she could treasure for the year as possibly the most relaxing day she had ever had amongst living with her roommates. But as blessed as she felt about the treat, something felt...off. On a day like this, Beast Boy should have been prowling the halls, curiosity claiming his better judgment, laughs or screams echoing throughout the building. He should have whined over how bored he was, and how Robin was a killjoy and how she was a grouch. He should have been in the kitchen, whipping up some vegan concoction that would have surely won a groan from Cyborg the moment he would step in through the main doors.

But Beast Boy hadn't uttered a peep since their earlier meeting, and even then, something about him seemed...broken. Not depressed or moping, but...well, what was it that was different? He looked the same. Still held the same humorous tone to his words. He had been a little fidgety, but that had been all, really...

His eyes –no.

Under no circumstances was she going to place a monitory check on Beast Boy because of hollowness of those emeralds.

Over how dim they seemed in comparison to any other day.

How the bright gleam of life appeared void and dead today.

Because no matter how much she could see his soul through them, she needn't admit that she actually kept notice of these things.

It wasn't his business, nor was it even her own. Simply a brush of the cloak and a shrug of adjustment.

Everyone had eyes.

She ground her teeth in aggravation.

How could someone so irritatingly cheerful ruin her day so quietly? He was setting the unbalance, that color pallet smear, and he needn't even be around her to do so. He was simply cluttering her mind.

With a dark sigh, the empath floated over toward the sink, dumping her untouched tea down the drain.

This had better be good.

His lips pursed as a slight whistle broke through, carrying a light tune as he moved some junk from one side of his room to the other. Floor space was nice once in a while, but preferably when he wanted to make sure his mirror was doing its job. Kicking away a few loose shirts, the changeling stood up and tilted his chin up, observing every angle possible before giving a slow twirl. "Not too shabby, you handsome devil." he smirked, nose nearly skidding along the glass as he inspected his teeth. Clean and decent, except for that under bite. His smile dimmed down as he poked the tooth, naked hand feeling the power of a single canine. The sharp edge. His brows fell as he tried to wiggle it down, but his gums refused to submit, and with a sigh, Beast Boy eyed his finger, indented with the impression of his tooth before his pointer filled out again.

His ears twitched as his senses stirred, glancing at his reflection once more, but he hadn't excepted the eyes of another. With a squeal he spun into his mirror, back pressed guiltily into the glass as he winced his eyes shut, "R-Raven! Give a guy a clue, wouldja! I didn't even hear you walk i– wait a minute, did you even knock?" he paused, arching a brow toward the door that was still locked. She simply floated before him, cloak capping her entire form, save the shadowy curve of her face. Her eyes remained stoic, observing as the teen scrunched his nose, hands gripping at his hips, "And I thought you were the one big on privacy." he muttered sourly, but tilted his head and winced when a bit of force flung him back into his bunk, "Sit."

Ruffling his hair back into place, the changeling grumbled as his cheeks lifted grumpily so, "Sheesh, Raven, what's going on?"

His eyes fell on her as she avoided them, and for a moment, she seemed lost in his room, as if wondering herself why she was actually there. She cleared her throat, setting her feet on the ground, violets finally picking up to match, "What was with that question?"

He squinted at her in confusion, seating himself upright to a better position, "Well, you kinda sneak into my room and just fling me on my bed–"

A portion of his lower jaw disappeared into his mouth as he pinned down the chuckle building in his chest. He hadn't meant it like that, but the fire burning within the empath's eyes hardly simulated any form of passion on his behalf. "Well, am I lying?" he noted smartly, wincing as she growled bitterly, ready to blow his head to bits if necessary. "The question from earlier. Before I left." she hissed through her teeth, and the smile lingering faded away as he pondered their interaction, hooking his hand along his neck.

"You mean the blond thing?"

Her hiss retreated as she took a breath, releasing a soft sigh.

"Yes."

He gave her an odd stare as he tucked his arms behind him, leaning against their lock. Since when did Raven question a silly incident like that? Raven didn't like to live in the past. If anything, she only counted on the future, fully aware that it was the only thing she could truly change. But what's done is done, and only when it came to important situations did she ever pay mind.

He would have thought the question trivial for her standards.

"It was...just a question, Rave. I was kiddin' around; no need to take it personally." His shoulders offered her an innocent shrug, but the action appeared robotic to her. Something was not right. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. Friends spoke with friends openly if they wished to share. If they didn't, they wore a mask and hoped no one noticed. She was quite the expert at the latter. Perhaps that's why his mask seemed to be peeling away the longer she pried. "You okay, Raven? You seem on edge." he tried, but his eyes shied away from her. Changing the subject. Classic move.

"Blond wouldn't match your complexion."

He arched a single brow. She wasn't going to drop it.

"Didn't think you cared about my complexion." he uttered doubtfully, wincing an eye as he skimmed her from head to toe.

"I didn't think you were serious."

Rubbing along his shoulder, the shape shifter eyed his free hand, a tiny smile of plastic poking through. So, she had noticed. Well honestly it hadn't been a big deal. He didn't think she would come back and bring it up again. It had been a stupid question, really. And why Raven of all people? He could've asked anyone. Who would've taken him seriously, anyway? He certainly hadn't expected Raven to. His hand waved it off, "It's cool, Rave, I mean, pfft. What are we even talkin' about, right? It's whateves." He sank into his chest with a grin, "Blond's overrated, anyway. Can you imagine?"

"No."

His mask kept well, even though it was cracking, but those horrid haunting eyes...they begged her for mercy. His fingers crawled through his scalp with an awkward clear of his throat, unsure how to further entertain his guest. It wasn't often when he got visitors, and even less so when it was Raven. But he needn't say a thing as she sat herself at the edge of his bed, scanning the room from top to bottom until her eyes fell upon her lap, finding a small bit of paper waiting for her. Glossed and worn, but preserved otherwise. Her cloak broke free as her arm slipped out, lifting the item up with the utmost care, amethyst eyes curving along unfamiliar faces.

And then they stopped, frozen along a certain pair of eyes. Eyes she knew too well.

"Just to give an idea."

His voice a shameful hush along the words, but his smile cradled them in practiced habit.

A young child no more than four years of age, pale and blotchy from the sun, but he grinned as a young woman tried her best to contain him from behind, bear hugging long enough for the young man in the photo to snap it from above. The angle had been shoddy, but fun as everyone fit decently into the square, all smiling and appreciating their moment in time. Blondes. All of them.

Raven lowered the photo, violets rising onto the teen who found rocking his heels into the carpet more appealing.

"...Hey, Raven?"

The same tone as before, though this time, she was ready.

"What's it like...looking normal?"

She exhaled softly, thumb running along the gloss, "Beast Boy, I'm a half demon. I nearly brought the earth to shambles."

He sighed quietly, unsatisfied with her answer.

"Outer appearances are trivial gains if the soul is tainted."

Leaning forward, Beast Boy crossed his legs into a diamond, propping his cheek into his hand. "I'd give anything just to try it out..." he muttered, and he glanced down at his hand, green down to the last cell. His hand flipped over, clutching along his knee, and with a stretch he inhaled deeply, glancing off opposite of her. It was times like these that Rita often crossed his mind; her gentle smile and soothing voice worked tiny miracles on the young teen.

But Raven was not Rita.

She remained quiet...silent...solemn.

Just like Mento.

His brows knit softly, yearning for the warmth of Rita's arms...or what he could remember of his own mother's. A place where he could feel safe –where he belonged. Titans Tower was home, but a prison all the same. They secluded themselves from the average...floated apart from the city that spied their every action. They were judged. And all he could do was wave and hope there were friendly faces out there, because he was risking a lot for their ungrateful lives. It was the bitter truth. He needn't say it. They all felt that way, at one time or another.

"Fifth place is the odd number out."

Arching a brow toward her fellow titan, Raven's reaction was concealed by her hood, but Beast Boy could sense a disturbance in the dark one, thumbing along his gloved hand in careless thought. Running his fingers along his hair, the changeling craned his neck awkwardly with a light sniff. Glancing to her right, the empath eyed the mirror, gazing firmly into the reflection of the room. She could see herself in the angle, but Beast Boy as well, and soon she found him staring back in that same reflection, curious and nervous. "What do you see?" The words left her lips softly.

Emeralds skimming the floor, they darted back to the reflection, narrowing at the sight. Try as he might, he couldn't hide himself...not entirely. Even with his mask.

"The Amazing Beast Boy." he uttered with a crooked grin, wiggling a pair of jazz hands. He lifted his arm before him, shifting it into a lion's paw, extending the claws before shifting it back. Lifting a hand, she extended her finger, "What else do you see?"

Shrugging lazily, Beast Boy rubbed his shoulder, eying the mirror lightly. There was a multitude of things he could identify in the reflection: his floor, the mess, his bed...The emeralds ran along the figure beside him, ears twitching. "You, I guess." he answered softly, eyes falling back into his lap, leaning forward. Lowering her hand, she gazed at the mirror, a small sigh whispering, "Are you sure?"

Arching a doubtful brow, the shape shifter rolled his eyes, semi circling onto the image of his reflected room.

It took all he had to swallow the scream rushing its way out.

Filling the space beside him was a true demonic entity, fangs richer than his would ever be, two sets of eyes gleaming darker than the abysses of Hades, claws longer than fingers could hold, fingers longer than joints could support. A brazen pair of tusks ripped through her scalp, gnarled and triumphant, looming and dissolute. A creature that could slice souls from the very body, skin inflamed and raw, and the trembles that ran down the changeling's spine could not be hidden, though he tried with all his might.

He coughed weakly into his fist, emitting a tiny squeak in the process, and only when the nerves riddling his gut were about to burst did he gather the courage to lift his eyes, locking on the figure beside him, curvy and pale as usual. The fear dropped away into blank confusion, ears tilting back as he swung his neck, and there before him, the Raven he always knew. Her amethyst eyes lingered on the reflection, shoulders setting back.

"Your condition is manageable. People may stare. People might judge. But you're free." Her eyes flicked down. "Some of us are not so lucky."

His mouth opened for a brief second, but could find nothing to say. He chewed along his lip with a sigh, wincing when she spoke once more.

"Don't feel ashamed for what you feel. It's...normal." Her arms scooped back into her cloak, fingers gripping onto her arms as she loosely crossed them. They all had the right to desire normalcy, even if such a wish could never be granted. Her eyes trailed from her lap across to the teen beside her, his legs crossed, arms tucked in the center, the thoughtfulness in his eyes curious...so very much like a curious pup. And yet, his worries were not that of a common animal, but of the every day teenager, simply wanting to belong. Fighting his way through puberty without a role model to call to.

"You know what I see?" she asked quietly, nodding toward the mirror, and he slowly blinked, glancing at the tinted teen in his reflection.

"A good lookin' stud?" he grinned loosely, cringing playfully as he awaited the smack. But it never came. Only her gentle tone echoed within his ears, though he couldn't have possibly missed it for the world.

"Garfield Logan."

He froze, his grin dropping at the sound, but morphing into a smile most tender, the mischievousness lingering in his eyes melting away into the tiniest of lights. His ears twitched as she blinked his way, always the stoic demeanor, but a sense of understanding in the way she held those eyes. "Whether he's blond and childlike, or green and a dummy, he's still who you are. That never changed. He matters more than some pretty boy."

Rubbing along his shoulder, Beast Boy eyed the photo sentimentally, his free thumb running along the gloss once more before his head tilted to the side, brow arched curiously, "You think I'm a pretty boy?" The empath's brows narrowed as he inched a seat over toward her, slouching back on his arms, "Remember who you're dealing with." she uttered bitterly as she gestured toward the mirror, but the emeralds softened, warm just for her.

"...A good person. I like to call her my friend."

And in those words, she found his essence charging through, the soul of life coming back to him and lighting up those vivid green eyes to the point of intimidation. She found a twinge of fear in her own core, amethysts tearing away from something so pure as she cleared her throat, slipping further into the comfort of her cloak. The darkness comforted her, protected her from that which she could not have, though Beast Boy wasn't the kind to embrace a cold shoulder. His head slumped against her shoulder, body weight tilted against her as he gazed up, cheek pinched from the pressure, "...You have this light in you, you know?"

A blunt charge of energy smacked the changeling to the other side of the best, knocking him dizzy for a brief moment, "OW! Sheesh, what did I say?"

Brushing herself off, Raven stood, hovering as her hood thankfully capped all it needed to, though her voice spat sourly, "More than you ever should." Rubbing his head, the teen pouted tugging at his own cheeks, "You mean you don't wanna kiss my pretty face?"

Eyes glowing red, they suddenly settled as she tossed him a disgusted look over her shoulder, "Who would? You're a slob."

Rolling onto his back, the teen spied her upside down, poking out his tongue, "You're no fun, Rae. You could've humored me."

"I don't do funny." she muttered, eyes shifting from his messy floor back onto him. He watched her curiously as she floated there, her voice nearly mute as it carried a length of words he would never be able to prove, "Wouldn't kill you to smile." Eyes popping, the teen spun himself upright, ears stretched as far as they possibly could, "What was that, Raven?"

"It's time for me to go. I'll be meditating if anyone needs me."

Her hand waved a portal of energy in the center of the room, pausing her stride when the familiar broken pitched chuckle rang through the air. Her eyes closed for a moment, feeling the balance align itself. All was right in her world.

"I dunno, Raven. I think you're gettin' soft on me. My charm's finally wearin' you down. Better watch out, people might get the wrong impression about us." he grinned, brow arching gently at her mutter,

"I've been called worse."

The portal engulfed the teen and imploded, disappearing without a trace, leaving the green one to ponder alone. The lingering smile perked into a grin as he eyed himself in his mirror, thumbing along his chin. "I'm irresistible." he joked to himself with a shrug, calming for a moment to truly observe himself. His eyes scanned along every edge, curling his arms around his knees as he tugged them close, burying his chin within. Far from perfect. "She noticed me, anyway." he thought, a small toothy grin flashing through. And not as Beast Boy, but as so much more. How could anyone think her a monster? And in that thought, he felt the guilt rise for the reaction he initially had, though he couldn't take it back, he knew she would never hurt him. He had never been in any real danger. Not as long as he respected her for the person she was...and not the destructive tool she wasn't.

His grin simmered into a soft smile, strumming along his leg as he glanced out his window into the violet hued skies. Raven truly did have a light in her. Whether she brushed it off as a compliment or not was her own affair, but he had meant every word of it from the bottom of his heart...for whenever his blew out, she always had her own to spare.

Author's Note: I think I have a weakness when it comes to comfort stories. Especially since Beast Boy is so malleable. And as you can see, I've been watching a bit of TitansGo and parody or not, they hook me for the hardcore ship they got going down on that show. Oh the feels and butterfly barfs. So tender.