ice breaker, a bleach fanfic

ice breaker

disclaimer: bleach is not mine.

"Tell me honestly; is there any reason why you would be afraid to kiss me?"

To say the least, he was glad it was dark.

It was dark. Uncomfortable. And Hitsugaya Toushirou was squished up in this tight space.

Two hands were placed on his shoulders.

For the sole reason of being uptight, out of his comfort zone, and very, very panicked, he screamed.

Yelled.

He yelled.

Um.

Oh dear.

Silence.

"Did you hear that?" Kuchiki Rukia asked Kurosaki Ichigo.

"What?" Brown eyes narrowed, not quite listening.

"No, it's nothing." She must have been hearing things. It sounded like…

"Right… have you seen Karin? She should be handing me her paperwork. As it is, I can't find her."

"Tell me, what's the outside world like?" Karin stretched, 'accidentally' hitting Toushirou.

"You're kidding. You've got to be." The tenth taichou scowled, not in the mood. Then, a little reluctantly, he asked in a quieter voice. "How long have you been stuck in here?"

There was a long pause.

"A while." Quieter, in a more subdued voice, she added. "And I'm not stuck; I simply prefer to remain in here. So answer the question."

"The sky is blue." He replied, and supposed that it would have to do.

Because, really, he was hiding too.

It came suddenly, and as usual, Karin twisted and moved about because she could and caused more physical discomfort for Toushirou.

Closets weren't known for their spaciousness.

"Let me propose you this: a twenty second kiss. Nobody would have to know. This way we can find out."

"… find out what?" He had an inkling of where this was going, and he didn't like it.

"If the rumours were true… and a way of passing the time."

Kurosaki Ichigo began to growl.

Karin was getting bored.

"You're not a fun person to talk to, are you?"

"That depends." Curt, he looked away, the effect lost in the darkness.

"On what?" Drawling, she wondered what he could be doing.

"On the level of your 'fun'. I could say that you are not a fun person to talk to, couldn't I?"

"Yes, but we'd both know that you were lying."

Heat rose.

Defiantly.

Hitsugaya Toushirou was 'fuming'.

"Kurosaki-taichou! We can't find her! Can't find Karin!"

"W-we think she ran away!"

"No." Ichigo shook his head, smirking. "Not Karin. I know my sister, and she wouldn't do that."

"With a male!"

"She was spotted!"

All that was left was a cloud of dust. Rukia, hot on his heels.

"Our lies are awesome, aren't they?"

No.

Just no.

He was totally blushing.

"So, this is nice." Karin tried to start again. "Right?"

"Yeah. Peachy."

It was still awkward.

"Things alright? Family? Love life? … Matsumoto-fukitaichou?"

"They're just fine, thank you very much," terse, he snapped, "You?"

"Completely over the moon. Why are you here?"

"I'm not saying."

Bees.

Everywhere.

Anywhere.

Stupid.

Swarming.

Bees.

He couldn't kill them, couldn't freeze them, and couldn't even swat them away.

They just came back, bigger and angrier than before, buzzing at him.

Where to hide…?

Ah, that remote, innocent looking closet looked satisfactory.

She tried singing.

To pass the time.

He was supposed to guess the tune.

… it didn't really work.

But at least Karin wasn't touching him any more.

Nothing really worked, Toushirou discovered.

And things got out of hand.

Especially as it became evident the closet was far too small.

For kinky stuff.

"What about charades? That can past the time, can't it?" Karin offered something.

"I can't see." He shut his eyes, refusing to hit his head against the wall. "Dark is dark for a reason."

"Exactly. Improvise."

"Wow, you're such a loud screamer."

Kami. Kurosaki Karin.

How grating.

"Bet you can scream louder."

He shouldn't have said a thing, but oh, his mouth just likes to open whenever he was around her. He'd have to fix that.

"I'll take you up on the offer one day."

He was uncomfortable with that statement.

To say the very least.

The ground shook.

Those who knew about Kurosaki Ichigo's protective streak quailed.

"Whatever happened to… that guy you were dating?"

"Hm? Rikichi? How do you know about him?" Sly, she raised one eyebrow. "And why so interested?"

"Karin. I caught you and him on my desk. Rather, my old desk. I had it destroyed thanks to you and… Rikichi-san. I'm merely enquiring because I dislike this silence, and I want to know the fate of the desecrators of my favourite desk."

"We weren't the first to do it. There's a List, and your desk was Number Five."

"… shut up. Just shut up."

"As it is, we broke up," Karin continued, regardless, grinning. Then stopped, deadly serious. "Unfortunate circumstances, really."

Karin moved once more, and Toushirou was forcefully reacquainted with the wall.

"What about you?"

"Mm?" Feigning ignorance, he was forced to repeat the question. "What?"

"Why are you here?"

Whatever she said, Toushirou had a feeling it was a lie.

"Oh. Fancied a nap."

Doom!

Doom everywhere!

In the sparkle of an eye!

The shadow of a shadow!

The wisp of a cloud!

And especially in the "berry" of a strawberry!

Why?

Why hadn't she done her paperwork?

Luckily, as she was incredibly adept at her shunpo, she could go straight through closet doors without opening them.

There she would hide until the dead of the night.

And never be found again.

"This is… them?"

"Tons and tons of unfinished paperwork, taichou. Half-scrawls, if I may dub it so. Not one of them is complete."

Ichigo groaned.

Why can't Karin just do her job?

"No, seriously. Just—ah, stop it, already! I'm going to—"

She snickered.

"You know, if anyone else heard us, I'd bet they'd get the wrong idea."

"You're doing it intentionally." He glared, to no effect.

"Well. What's wrong with a bit of harmless fun? I bet you look all pretty, ruffled up as you do now."

"…"

"Oh, don't stop." She laughed, and raised her voice. "Don't stop!"

"…"

"Karin!" He lurched forward, placing his hand on her mouth and, essentially, his body on hers. "Just stay still. Don't move. And don't talk like that!" He didn't really remove his weight, but he did take his hand away. "Promise not to shift like that? I don't think you'd like it if I was doing it right now. You and the wall. Very uncomfortable, I'll have you know."

Even in the darkness, he had the feeling that she was looking straight at him.

"Oh, I don't know." Karin murmured lightly, almost amused by the thought. "I've had kinkier."

"Karin!"

"Alright. Fine. I'll stop… moving. I wouldn't complain though, you're not that bad, I bet." There was a contemplative pause. "And hey! You used my first name. I like it."

"… it's better than just saying Kurosaki-taichou and Kurosaki-fukitaichou all the time."

Teasing him, Karin continued, voice lower than a whisper. Huskier too.

"Just don't stop Hitsugaya-taichou. Never, ever stop."

Toushirou did not like this.

Not at all.

"Ichigo!"

"She's here, Rukia. I know she is."

"No. In the labs?"

"Number Two on The List." Ichigo informed Rukia, who had a blush on her face. Wondered how he had found it – it was only known by the female shinigami, and the locations… well, Ichigo's skin was crawling right now. "I haven't deciphered Number One just yet."

Kami-sama. It was a miracle that Karin had awful handwriting.

"Right."

"Well."

"Yes."

Silence.

Neither were particular fans of silence in each other's company.

"Karin."

"Yes, Toushirou?"

"… you're calling me 'Toushirou' now?"

Amazingly, he sounded affronted.

"You're calling me 'Karin' now," she pointed out, "I figured I might as well mirror the formality."

"Fine." He snapped, and, no doubt, looked away in frustration.

"What is it?" Curious, she decided to approach him in a gentle tone. Might as well coax it out of him. "C'mon, we're apparently not leaving, but all the same, you might as well just say it."

"How loud can you scream?"

This was all for the sake passing time.

And there was no time to cover his ears.

In this time of great danger and peril, at least her hand found his.

"Rukia," Ichigo whined, his assembly growing as the seconds passed, "where is my fukitaichou?"

She was tempted to strangle him.

However, whacking him on the head would have to suffice.

"Got any better ideas?" Karin asked him, sardonic.

His ears were still ringing.

"Give me a minute. I'll let you know when I've discovered it."

Silence wasn't quite so bad after that.

"What… rumours?" Hesitant, he wasn't sure if he should ask this. Gossip was gossip, and more often than not, it wasn't true.

"Oh, the usual. You and—"

"Wait!"

On second thought, he didn't want to know.

"I don't want to know." Ichigo exhaled deeply, clenching his zanpakutou and swinging it therapeutically. "I honesty don't want to know what's in there."

But his protective streak fuelled him.

Thus he approached the door.

"No, I'm not afraid to kiss you. I'd be… flattered." Wrong word. "Honoured." Still wrong word. "I'd love to kiss you."

Hypothetically speaking, if he didn't get castrated.

"So kiss me. It'll be worth your while."

Karin leaned in, and Toushirou tried to resist temptation.

It was a scary thought.

To learn—to know—that whatever was behind this door, was—

"Apparently, Ichigo, these men have heard things… coming from inside a closet." Rukia furrowed her eyebrows, unsure what to make of it. "Strange things. Still, these things might be of interest to you."

"Porn?" His mouth couldn't control itself.

Thus suffering the repercussions.

Kissing.

Good.

Very good.

Friction.

Sizzling.

Both parties relished their sudden relationship upgrade, discovering that this would free their minds of things.

Perhaps, they would embark on a relationship akin to sparkly icy rainbows emitting stalagmites and stalactites.

Unfortunately, they were so… enthusiastically engrossed, they didn't immediately realize that the doors had opened, or that they just…

… hit the ground.

"Hello… big brother."