THREE OH EIGHT

by SANDEFUR

11-11-05/Friday morning.

Donwtown at police headquarters, Will and Dr. Hunter are nearing the end of a consultation in Will's office…

Dr. Hunter says, "Will, I've been listening for over half an hour, and it seems to me that the only problem you have is that you feel guilty about not feeling guilty."

"But shouldn't I feel guilt? My decision ruined Michael Dahglian's life, and led to my family being placed in danger."

"Logically, you know that isn't so. As a decent man, you have empathy for the pain he suffered. After all, you liked the man and knew that most of the time, he was a good cop. But it was Dahglian's own choices that formed the disastrous chain of events that ruined his life."

"If only I hadn't fired him…"

"He broke the law and flouted your authority. Instead of taking the chance you offered to back out of the situation, he chose to rely on a corrupt system to protect him. Do you regret bringing down that system?"

"Of course not."

"And if you encountered a similar situation today, would you really act any differently?"

Will sighs. "No, I guess not."

"Then isn't it time to let your head win out over your heart in this matter?"

"Dahglian's mess…was his mess. I bear no blame. Huh, that feels good to say."

"Then make it your mantra for the next few days. Anything else to report? Signs of post-traumatic stress, like nervousness, sleeplessness, bad dreams and so on?"

"No, none of that for me. As for Helen, I was amazed at how fast she snapped back. She was edgy for a couple of days, but after talking things out with you, she's calmed down and is already back at work."

"Seeing Dahglian shot right before her eyes was very cathartic for Helen. After that, all she needed was an outlet to vent her feelings. And what of Joan? How is she doing?"

"I never realized how brave my daughter is. Dahglian had a gun pointed right at her, and she wasn't nervous at all. She simply said some phrase about weapons not doing something…"

"No weapon formed against me shall prosper?"

"That's it. What's that all about?"

"It's a bible quote—Isaiah fifty four, seventeen. I've noticed Joan is rock solid in her faith."

"I don't know how that happened. She's only been to church a handful of times."

"Faith is a lifestyle, not something you visit on Sundays."

"I suppose. I'm not really comfortable in this area."

"Then I won't press the matter. How is Kevin doing? He hasn't been by to practice since last week's incident."

"The publicity was overwhelming, so he has been laying low. Ryan gave him a week off to avoid the media blitz."

"His fifteen minutes of fame. 'Handicapped Archer Saves Family From Mad Gunman'. It made for quite a story."

"Which is finally blowing over. Thank you so much for including Kevin when you decided to resume your archery hobby."

"Yes, the way things worked out, it seems to go beyond a lucky coincidence."

Will stands and Dr. Hunter follows suit.

"Next, you'll be telling me it was a miracle. I thought you were a man of science?"

"Faith and science, in that order."

Will shakes hands with Dr. Hunter.

"Well, however things turned out as they did, I'm grateful."

"It's a start."

Dr. Hunter gives a friendly nod, turns and exits. With the door closed behind him, he looks up and smiles. "Thank God."

X X X X X

That afternoon in the multi-purpose room of Arcadia High, Joan is giving her acceptance speech to a crowd of supporters…

"In conclusion, I want to thank my campaign staff for doing such a great job. As you know, due to unsual circumstances, I wasn't able to do much personal campaigning. So I am especially grateful to a team of supporters who really stepped up to fill the gap. Thanks to my campaign manager, my brother Luke, and his great team: Grace Polk, Adam Rove, Glynis Figliola, Scott Brooks, Noah Beaumont, Dillon Samuels, my boyfriend Dylan Hunter, and of course our I.T. volunteer, The Friedman. Thanks again for all of your support, and let's move on to a great school year!"

The crowd applauds and cheers. Joan moves among them shaking hands and thanking supporters. The crowd begins to thin, and Joan comes upon her mother and Principal Chadwick…

"Congratulations honey, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Mom, I wish I could take credit, but I practically coasted into this victory."

Chadwick says, "Nonetheless, it was an impressive win, Miss Girardi. I look forward to your speech next Friday."

"What speech?"

"For the bicentennial celebration. As student council president, you will of course be one of the featured speakers."

"Bicentennial? Wasn't that back in the seventies?"

"The bicentennial of the school. On November eighteenth of 1805, Arcadia High opened as the first public high school in town. And even though the school has been torn down and rebuilt a half dozen times, it still sits on the original land. That's why, in a city with over twenty high schools, this one is still simply called 'Arcadia High'."

"How was I suppose to know all of this?"

Helen says, "Joan, the school's history is on the first page of the student handbook."

"Oh yeah, I always meant to read that."

Cadwick says, "The school is covered in posters and banners proclaiming the bicentennial."

"I guess I've been distracted, what with the campaign, and, oh yes, two attempts made on my life!"

"Alright, that's understandable, but now you have been informed. You will need a ten to fifteen minute speech on what Arcadia High has meant to this community over the last two hundred years. Make it a good one, because a copy will be going into the time capsule…" (Chadwick pauses.) "You don't know about the time capsule?"

Joan shakes her head.

Chadwick sighs. "This is not an impressive start, Miss Girardi. Will you at least be fulfilling your duties at tomorrow night's game?"

"Game?"

Chadwick is clearly getting exasperated. "The first game of the basketball season! Traditionally, the student council president attends all home games, but especially the opener. You're suppose to introduce the starting five to the crowd."

"I work Saturday nights."

Helen quickly steps in. "She will be there. I'll get Luke to fill in at the bookstore. He's done it before."

"Apparently, I will be there."

Chadwick sniffs, "I should hope so. If you weren't prepared to fulfill your obligations, why did you run for office?"

Joan sighs. "God only knows."

Chadwick rolls his eyes and storms off.

Helen says, "I better try to calm him down. See you at home, honey, and congratulations again."

Helen exits as Goth Kid God approaches…

"Hello Joan."

"That was humiliating! Why did you have me run for this stupid office?"

"Why do I ever ask you to do something?"

"To make things better, but how is this going to make anything better? Student council president is a ceremonial post. There's no real power attached to the office."

"Don't underestimate the power of ceremony. It gives you access to others in a capacity of leadership. That's a skill you need to develop."

"Leadership? Who am I suppose to lead?"

"You once asked me, 'Where's my army?' You've seen that you can inspire teamwork. Be prepared to use that. You will be tested, soon."

Goth Kid God walks away, giving the backhand wave as he goes. Dylan, Luke, Grace and Friedman approach…

Dylan says, "Congratulations, Ms President! Adam and Glynis had to cut out early, but the rest of us are ready to celebrate."

"In that case, celebratory smoothies on me."

Friedman says, "That's why you're our leader."

As a close-knit group, the sub-defectives exit.

X X X X X

Later that afternoon at Oak Hill cemetery, Adam and Glynis slowly walk along, hand-in-hand.

Glynis asks, "How long has it been?"

"This is the fifth anniversary, but today it seems like it just happened. Thanks for coming with me. Before, my Dad or Joan would be here."

"Your dad came earlier?"

"Yeah, now that he is back to work, we are on opposite schedules. Of course Joan and I are still friends, but…"

"But obviously she was busy. Joan was the one who told me about today. She really is a good friend. I'm glad she won."

"Me too. You certainly campaigned hard for her."

"Meaning, the natural response would be to oppose her out of jealousy?"

"Well, yeah."

"I suppose I can be as jealous as the next person, but I meant it when I said Joan was a good friend. I remember when Luke and I broke up, she went out of her way to be kind to me."

"Yeah, that's one of the things that first drew me to her—the kindness in her soul. That and the fact she liked my art."

Glynis looks at the small, avant-garde sculpture Adam is carrying. "Do you always make something for your mom?"

"Every year. They last for awhile, but eventually, someone always takes them.."

Glynis and Adam walk on for a few more mintues before stopping at the grave of Elizabeth Rove.

Adam sighs. "This is my Mom."

Adam places the sculpture by the headstone. Glynis has a single red rose, and she inserts the stem into the sculpture.

Adam remarks, "That looks nice."

"She was only 48, much too young."

Adam pauses, struggling with his emotions. A single tear runs down his cheek.

"Adam?"

"She took pills."

"Oh… Was she ill?"

"We didn't realize it at the time, but she was manic depressive. Most of the time she was happy and active, but then she would have dark days when she would withdraw from life. It was during one of those dark times when she went away forever."

"I'm so sorry, Adam. I know how hard it is to lose a parent at a young age."

"No, you don't. I know you mean well, but unless you've been through it…"

"I never told you about my father."

"You said your parents were divorced."

"Yes, eventually Mom got a divorce, but when I was ten, my father abandoned us. He just packed up and left one day. He didn't even leave a note. In the eight years he's been gone, I've received two Christmas cards, and a birthday card in June. My birthday is in October."

"I'm sorry, Glynis."

"I suppose he wasn't much of a father, but when you're a ten year old girl, your world revolves around your Dad."

"Life can truly suck."

"I think of life as a see-saw. For every up there's a down, and every time you're down, there's another upswing coming. We must learn to endure the down times and to celebrate the up times."

"I had a terrible down time last spring, but since we've been together, I know I've been on that upswing."

"I feel the same way."

Arms linked, the pair walks away from the grave.

X X X X X

Meanwhile, on a busy city street, Kevin is driving his car with Lily beside him…

Lily asks, "How was your first day back at work?"

"Not too bad. I only had to endure about a dozen jokes on William Tell, Robin Hood and other assorted archery references. I'll be glad when all of this finally blows over."

"It's winding down already. The national news guys have stopped calling for an interview."

"I just wish everyone would let it drop. I shot a man. I don't want to be reminded of that by every jackass I meet who wants to pat me on the back and call me a hero."

"You are a hero. You saved your mom and sister from a gunman."

"By shooting him in the back with a bow and arrow. Some hero I am. I'm just glad he didn't die."

"Yours is an amazing family. This guy Dahglian stangles Joan half to death, puts a bomb under your mom's car, forces Will to watch as he nearly executes Helen and Joan, and all any of you have to say is: 'I'm glad he didn't die'."

"Would it have been better if he had died?"

"Not what I'm saying. What I mean is, most families are not that forgiving, understanding or decent. Which is why I'm sorry to bring more hard times to you."

"What's that mean?"

"My parents are coming for a visit tomorrow, and you need to prepare for the Spanish Inquisition."

"They heard about the archery incident?"

"Yes, and since those stories also referenced the hanging man incident, they now know about that too. They are totally freaked out. They think I'm marrying into a family of lunatics."

"Girardis--Lunatics, pretty much the same thing."

"This is serious. I'm finally getting back into relationship with my folks after years of seperation. I don't want to lose that."

"I get it. Time to put on our saner-than-you-expected act. Tell you what, I'll ask Mom to prepare a nice, normal luncheon in our nice, normal home. Dad can explain how rare it is for police matters to actually touch our lives. I, of course, will be utterly charming. As long as no one mentions Joan's days in crazy camp, your parents should be fooled."

"Thank you. I know I'm thirty, and a grown woman, but in my parent's eyes I will always be their little girl who needs protecting."

"Relax, they will come away with well-formed views of Girardi normalcy, and of a bright future for their daughter."

"Thanks Kevin. Oh, and tell Helen that my Mom doesn't eat red meat, and my Dad is allergic to peanuts."

"Right. I'll tell Mom to forget about the peanut buttter covered lamb chops."

Lily laughs and kisses him on the cheek.

X X X X X

Across town at the Polansky house, Grace and Luke burst into her bedroom, entwined in a passionate embrace. They paw frantically at each other as they tumble onto the bed...

"Grace..."

Grace continues kissing him.

"We have to stop."

"It's okay...my parents aren't home."

Grace tries to kiss him again, but Luke holds up a hand.

"It's not a green light day. You're much too close to your ovulation time."

"We'll be careful."

"Pregnancy Grace, remember? You were so freaked out by the possibility, you were ready to break up."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I can't think straight when you get me all hot and bothered."

"Well, there is something we could do to relieve our sexual tension without risk."

Grace frowns and shakes her head. "That position only identified by a number? I know guys like it, but it really grosses me out."

"I know. Sorry I mentioned it."

Reluctantly, Grace says, 'If it's important to you...maybe on your birthday?"

Luke takes Grace's hand and kisses it. "I never want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"You really are a great boyfriend."

They begin kissing again, and it rapidly becomes passionate. Realizing the risk, they quickly seperate.

Grace says, "One of these days, our hormones are going to get the better of us."

Luke leaves the bed and awkwardly stands across the room. "Perhaps on red light days, we should avoid temptation circumstances. Like being alone in your bedroom with your parents out of the house. By the way, where are they?"

"Mom's at her meeting, and Dad went along for moral support."

"How is your Mom doing?"

"Sixty four days sober and counting."

"That's great. Maybe she will make it this time."

"God I hope so. She's trying so hard."

"I guess I should go before they get back. The way your dad looks at me when he knows we have been alone..."

"Don't let him phase you. He's checking for signs of guilt."

"I don't feel guilty. We are too much in love for this to be wrong. But even so, let's keep it from him."

Grace leaves the bed and stands before Luke. "Probably a good idea. I'll miss you when you're filling in for Joan tomorrow night."

"You could visit me at the bookstore."

"Hang out in a bookstore on a Saturday night? Not even for true love."

"So what will you do? Go to the game?"

"Do I ever? Nah, I'll hang here. Do some homework and maybe watch a DVD."

Grace automatically glances at an item on her dresser. Luke follows the glance and spots a portable DVD player. He walks over to it.

"I didn't know you had this."

"Yeah, I got it for my last birthday. Er, didn't you say you were leaving?"

"You seem nervous. What are you watching?"

"Nothing special..."

Luke reaches for the START button.

"Dude, don't!"

He pushes START anyway. Instantly, the opening credits for the TV show "Dawson's Creek" appear on the small screen.

"Dawson's Creek?"

Grace quickly turns the device off. "Geek, if you tell anyone..."

"Just how big a fan are you?"

Grace sighs and opens a drawer. She pulls out four boxed sets of DVDs.

"The frist four seasons? You're a fanatic."

"Cut me some slack. I was ten when the show came on, and I got my first big crush on a TV actor."

"That explains a lot. You get a crush on a handsome, blond actor, and in real life, you fall in love with a handsome, blond guy."

"James Van der Beek? No way. I was hot for Joshua Jackson."

"You had a crush on Pacey Whitter?"

"How do you know he played that character? Are you a fan too?"

"Actually, Joan was the Dawson's Creek fanatic, and by osmosis, I became aware... Okay, it was a very addictive show!"

Grace laughs at Luke's embarassed confession.

Luke continues, "You know what I liked best about the series?"

"Joey Potter's big boobs?"

"Well, yes, but what I was going to say was the fact the producers took the time to make a finale."

"I know what you mean. I hate it when a show gets you caught up in the characters and story line..."

"And the network suddenly cancels the show and you're left hanging, wondering how it all would have ended."

"Yeah, there ought to be a rule that networks have to give plenty of advanced notice of a cancellation so the producers can be fair to the fans, and decently wrap up the show."

"Amen to that." (Luke checks his watch.) "It's getting late. I have to go."

"Okay. See you later, 'Dawson'."

Luke smiles and exits.

X X X X X

That night in the Girardi dining room, the family is gathered for the evening meal. Helen speaks...

"Listen up everyone, Kevin has an important announcement."

"Lily's parents are visiting tomorrow and we're having them here for lunch at one p.m. Attendance is mandatory. Everyone can make it, right?"

Luke replies, "I have to be at the bookstore by four to cover Joan's shift, but one o'clock is no problem."

Joan adds, "I have a thing in the morning, and I have to be at the game by five-thirty, so okay with me."

Helen asks, "Where are you going in the morning?"

"Dylan is driving me to the cemetery. It's one year since Judith's death."

Everyone pauses, concern for Joan on their faces.

Helen says, "Oh, that's right. Things have been in such a turmoil lately, I had forgotten. Would you like me to go with you tomorrow?"

"I'll be fine, Mom. Besides, you have a luncheon to prepare."

Kevin says, "And back to the luncheon, Dad, you will be there?"

"I have nothing planned, but as chief of police, I'm always on call."

"Dad, no. I need you to reassure Mr. and Mrs. Waters that hanged bodies and my shooting disgruntled ex-cops are rarities. It's important they come away with an impression of normalcy."

"I'll try to be reassuring, son, but you have to admit our lives took a dramatic turn when we moved to Arcadia."

Joan says, "Like the dumpster baby mystery Mom solved, or Dad arresting Stevie Marx's mother on parent's night."

Luke adds, "And Joan with that psycho gun nut, Steve Ramsey."

Joan, "Dad getting kidnapped."

Luke, "Joan saving Dillon Samuels and then being accused of making it up."

Joan, "Dad bringing down the entire city government."

Luke, "Joan getting mugged."

Joan, "Our church and Grace's synagogue being attacked."

Luke, "Joan getting sick and going to crazy camp. Joan getting strangled. Joan nearly being executed. Joan..."

"Hey! Why are you ragging on me?"

"If you must know, I'm a little resentful of being made to cover your shift at the bookstore, and this is my way of venting."

Kevin shouts, "STOP IT! If Lily's parents heard this conversation, they would haul her off to the nearest convent and make her join back up."

Will says, "Kevin is right. Everyone will be on their best behavior tomorrow. Got it?"

Luke and Joan reply in unison, "Yes Dad."

Helen mutters, "Whatever."

Kevin asks, "Is there a problem, Mom?"

"Kevin, don't get me wrong. I love Lily, and I look forward to her being my daughter-in-law. However, it really burns me to have her parents coming here to judge whether our family is good enough to mingle with theirs. Who do they think they are?"

"That they are loving parents who are concerned for the safety of their daughter."

"Fine. I'll feed them, I'll be polite, but don't expect me to like it."

"Fair enough."

Silence falls, and the family resumes eating.

X X X X X

Late that night, in the Girardi master bedroom, Helen restlessly fidgets as she dreams. Transition into her dream...

Helen opens her eyes, and sees she is in a giant salad bowl. She is dressed as a carrrot. Around her, on a bed of huge lettuce leaves, are a giant tomato, a celery stalk, a cucumber, a purple onion, and a mushroom.

Helen says, "Well, this is a slice of strange."

The Tomato responds, "Don't say 'slice' around vegetables!"

"A talking tomato?"

"Why not? You're a carrot, and you're talking."

Helen looks at her hands and body. "So I am. What are we doing here?"

"We're in a salad, and we are waiting for the Master Chef to add the final ingredients."

"Why are the vegetables whole? They should be chopped."

"Don't say 'chopped' around vegetables!"

"The tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable."

"We're all in the same bowl, so what difference does it make? Oh look, the Master Chef is returning."

Helen looks up and sees the impossibly huge face of Old Lady God.

"Who is that?"

"That's the Master Chef."

"No, that's God."

"Same difference."

Old Lady God says, "What else does this salad need? Radishes?"

Helen shouts, "No!"

Tomato asks, "What have you got against radishes? Some of my best friends are radishes."

"They give me gas."

Old Lady God says, "No radishes then. A mix of herbs..."

Old Lady God sprinkles herbs into the bowl, and they fall like giant snowflakes amongst the vegetables. The tomato sneezes.

Helen says, "Bless you."

"Thanks. Uh-oh, here comes the red wine vinegar. Brace yourself, it stings a bit."

Large drops of vinegar plop on the vegetables.

Old Lady God says, "And now for my secret ingredient."

Helen looks up, and from her perspective, she sees oil pouring from a giant bottle labeled, PEANUT OIL. She says, "No, I use olive oil."

"You're out of olive oil. Use the peanut oil, and remember, it's a secret."

Helen protests, "No! This is just a crazy dream, and I am not a carrot."

Tomato says, "You tell her, kiddo. I'll bet I'm not really a tomato."

Old Lady God says, "All I ask Helen is that you be open to the possibilities."

Helen shakes her head. "It's just a dream...it's just a dream..."

Transition back to the bedroom. Helen is still restless, and now she is murmuring, "It's just a dream..."

X X X X X

11-12-05/early Saturday morning.

Joan and Dylan walk among the graves of Oakhill Cemetery on a damp, misty morn. Despite the sad occasion, Joan is focused on her relationship with Dylan. Ever since their disastrous attempt at sex in late October, the pair had, by an unspoken agreement, avoided all but the briefest time alone together. Her recovery from injuries suffered in the strangulation attempt, and the frantic election campaign had provided convenient excuses, but how long could their relationship remain in this chaste limbo?

Joan desperately missed their make-out sessions, but she was scared if they started up again, she would once more slam on the brakes at the last moment. She knew no guy would stand for that for very long. If only Dylan could verbalize the love she felt pouring out from him even now, as he held her hand...

"I asked around about Judith."

"Why?"

"You've mentioned her on several occasions, but you've been reluctant to talk about her. So, I asked the other sub-defectives."

"What did they have to say?"

"A mixed review. They were all deeply moved by the tragedy of her death. While she was alive though, they didn't much care for her."

Joan stops and stares hard at Dylan. "They said that?"

"They modified it by saying that in time they learned to accept her for your sake."

Joan resumes walking, and Dylan follows.

"They never understood Judith. They didn't get how special she was."

"Or was she more special in your mind than she deserved?"

"You didn't know her."

"Her first weekend at school, she hosted a drunken debauchery where she introduced you to your first experience with hard liquor. She was also hospitalized for alcohol poisoning."

"Okay, she got off to a bad start..."

"A few weeks later, she roped you into a scheme to steal from a clothing drive for the homeless."

"I was just as much at fault..."

"Come on, Joan. Without Judith's influence, you never would have done such a thing."

Joan sighs, "Maybe, but people didn't see how much she was changing. It was a slow process, but she was coming around."

"The night she died, she was in a dark alley buying illegal drugs."

"Okay, enough! I admit it, I failed. Judith died because I was unable to...pull her into the light."

"You can't pull someone into the light. They have to decide on a daily basis how they will act."

"If only I'd had more time..."

"Then I have no doubt you're basic goodness would have conter-balanced all the darkness in her life. But the timing was a matter of her choices."

Joan sighs again and nods her agreement. They walk in silence for awhile. As they approach Judith's grave, Dylan notices another person.

"Friedman is here."

"Yeah, he had a huge crush on Judith."

"The poor guy."

They arrive at the grave and Friedman says, "Hi guys."

Dylan nods a greeting. "Hello Friedman. Nice flowers."

"Daisies, rosemary and fennel."

Joan says, "From Hamlet. Judith told me."

"I finally decided I had to do the play for her."

Joan begins, "Friedman..."

Dylan puts a hand on Joan's shoulder and whispers into her ear. He then says, "Go ahead, Friedman. We all want to hear it."

Friedman addresses the headstone, "This is for you, my sweet. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. Act one, scene one..."

As Friedman recites, the ghost of Judith walks up to the group. No one sees her as she kisses Friedman on the cheek. He pauses briefly, but continues. Judith walks away, there is a burst of light, and she is gone.

X X X X X

Later, in the Girardi kitchen, Helen is busy preparing lunch. Joan enters from the back door.

"I'm back. Am I late?"

"Nearly. Our guests should be arriving in a few minutes. I thought you were only going for a short visit?"

"It takes a surprisingly long time for someone to recite Hamlet."

"Friedman was there?"

"Yeah, and he was determined to do the play for her. I was going to tell him to let it go, but Dylan whispered in my ear that it was a moment of closure for the guy."

"Do you think he was right?"

"I really do. While Friedman was reciting the play, it seemed like a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders."

"I'm glad, and what of you, honey? Were you..."

"Sad and upset? Yeah, but mostly I was struck by how much my life has changed in a year. I remember coming home from that wonderful date with Adam. I was so much in love with him, and I told him it was the happiest time of my life. Then Judith died, and later on, Adam and I broke up..."

"It's been a hard year for you, Joan, but things will get better. You have a new boyfriend."

"Yeah, and even though Dylan is a great guy, I realized today that I'll never again experience that moment of innocent happiness."

"Such is the nature of life. Eventually it strips us of all our innocence, but trust your old mother--life has ahead of you a richer, deeper level of happiness than you could ever imagine."

The two of them hug.

"Thanks Mom, I needed to hear that. So, is there anything I can do to help?"

"The Waters are fashionably late, so everything is done, except the salad dressing. Hand me that bottle of olive oil."

Joan grabs the olive oil, but the bottle slips from her fingers and smashes on the floor.

"Joan!"

"Sorry Mom, it was slippery. I'll clean it up. Do you have any more?"

"No, I'm...out of olive oil."

Helen pauses, a look of realization on her face.

"Mom?"

"Sorry, I was thinking. I've got some vegetable oil in the cabinet."

From the front of the house, Will call out, "They're here!"

Joan says, "Go greet your guests. I'll have this cleaned up in a few minutes."

Helen nods and heads for the front of the house. When she arrives, Will has already greeted their visitors.

Lily says, "Helen Girardi, these are my parents, Ralph and Vivian Waters."

"Welcome to our home."

Vivian resonds, "Thank you. Red and I are so sorry for being late, but our plane was delayed."

"Red?"

Ralph Waters chuckles and runs a hand over his thick grey hair. "Vivian is the last person to still use my old nickname. You can't tell now, but at one time I had the reddest hair you've ever seen."

Vivian adds, "Just like a tomato."

"Tomato.." Helen softly repeats as she realizes Ralph's voice is the same as the tomato from her dream.

Kevin says, "Uh, Mom? Lunch smells delicious."

Helen shakes herself from her reverie. "Yes, everything is ready, if I'm not rushing anyone?"

Lily says, "Not at all. We're famished."

The entire group begins heading for the dining room. Helen hurries ahead. Ralph and Vivian look up at the stairs.

Ralph asks, "Is this the spot?"

Will replies, "Yes, that's where Paul Atwell's body was found hanging."

Kevin sighs. "And from the rail chair is where I shot Dahglian."

The group pauses, and their conversation fades in Helen's ears as she reaches the kitchen.

Joan says, "All cleaned up, Mom."

"Thanks Joan. Would you carry out the rolls and the wine?"

Joan grabs those items and exits to the dining room. Helen opens a cabinet. There are two bottles of oil--one labeled CANOLA OIL, and one labeled, PEANUT OIL. Helen pours canola oil into a measuring cup, and then after a guilty glance over her shoulder, she adds a splash of peanut oil.

"Oh God..."

X X X X X

Later that afternoon is a waiting room at Hogan County Hospital, Lily, Vivian and Kevin sit together as a group, Will and Joan are seated side by side, and Helen is alone in a corner, nearly in tears and holding a rosary.

Vivian asks, "You're positive about the peanuts?"

Helen replies, "Yes. It was a salad. There were no peanuts. I listed every ingredient for the doctor. No peanuts."

"It's just that every time Ralph has experienced these symptoms, the shortness of breath and constriction in the throat, it has been caused by peanuts."

Will says, "Mrs. Waters, we're very sorry for your husband's illness, but if my wife says there were no peanuts, then there were none."

"Yes, of course you're right. It's just that I'm so worried. The few times Ralph has gone through this, the doctors had him back on his feet very quickly, and we've been waiting for over two hours!"

Lily asks, "Do you want me to check on Dad's status again?"

"Yes, and I'll go along. I can't take just sitting here. It's driving me crazy."

Lily and Vivian exit the waiting room. Kevin rolls over to where his family is sitting. With heavy sarcasm, he speaks...

"I'm so glad we decided to show Ralph and Vivian how undramatic our live are. No doubt about it, this little visit to Arcadia will get me in tight with my future in-laws."

Will responds, "Kev, surely they won't blame you or the family for this unfortunate occurence."

"Won't they? Vivian has been looking at us like we were the Borgias."

Joan asks, "Are you okay, Mom?"

"No Joan, I'm not. A guest in my home falls ill after eating the food I prepared. It's the nightmare of any hostess."

"But it's not your fault."

"Well..."

Helen pauses as a doctor, carrying a clipboard, enters. He questions...

"Vivian and Lly Waters?"

Kevin replies, "They just stepped out. Lily Waters is my fiancee."

"I really need to give this information to immediate family."

Helen cries, "For the love of God, please tell us. Is he alive?"

"Oh yes, and he's doing quite well."

Tension eases, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Lily and Vivian hurriedly enter.

Lily says, "Doctor, we saw you enter from down the hall. How is my father?"

"There's fairly good news to report. Mr. Waters had a mild allergic reaction, and responded quickly to treatment."

Vivian casts an accusatory glance at Helen. "So it was peanuts?"

"Undoubtedly. However, most people don't realize how small an amount it takes to trigger a reaction. Someone eating peanuts in the same room the day before could have left enough microscopic debris to set off an attack."

Lily asks, "Doctor, if this has been such a mild attack, why have we been waiting so long?"

"Since there was no known cause for Mr. Waters' symptoms, I ordered an M.R.I. to check out the cause of his throat discomfort. Here I'm afraid is the bad news. He has cancer."

Vivian gasps, "Oh God no."

"Mrs. Waters, does your husband smoke?"

"Three or four cigars a day."

"He will have to stop that. The good news is that the cancer has been found very, very early. Mr. Waters is scheduled for surgery later this evening, a minor procedure, I assure you. We will be releasing him tomorrow."

Vivian asks, "What are his chances?"

"Truly excellent. When he returns to New York, no doubt his own doctor will recommend a short course of radiation treatments, just to be on the safe side. Because this was caught so early, Mr. Waters' chance of a full recovery is about 90 percent."

Lily whispers, "Thank God."

Helen asks, "Doctor, what if today's incident hadn't occured?"

"In this type of cancer, a patient usually doesn't have noticeable symptoms until it is too late. Wherever that stray peanut molecule came from, it provided a minor miracle."

"Vivian asks, "May I see my husband?"

"Of course, but family only."

The doctor leads the way out of the waiting room, followed by Lily and Vivian. Vivian pauses at the doorway...

"You too, Kevin. You're family now."

Kevin smiles and follows after them. Helen remains in the spot where she is standing, with tears flowing down her cheeks. Her body trembles, and she sags to her knees.

"Oh God..."

Will calls, "Helen!"

Will kneels beside her, and takes Helen is his arms.

"I'm sorry Helen, I didn't realize you were under this much stress."

Joan says, "Mom, it all worked out okay." (Joan pauses as she spots through the open doorway, Nigerian Doctor God. He smiles, waves, and moves on.) "In fact, it couldn't have worked out any better if it had been planned."

Joan goes to the open door and looks down the long hallway, but Doctor God is no where to be seen. She shrugs and returns to her mother's side.

Will says, "Come on honey, we'll help you up."

With Will and Joan on either side of her, Helen rises to her feet.

"I suddenly feel so tired. All I want to do is go home and take a nap. Oh, but I left such a mess in the kitchen."

Joan says, "Don't worry, Mom. I have time to clean up before I have to get to the game."

Will, Helen and Joan exit the waiting room.

X X X X X

That evening, Joan arrives at the Arcadia High gym as it is filling with fans. The student athletes from both teams are on the court running practice drills. Chadwick is at the gym's floor level, impatiently waiting...

"Running late again, Miss Girardi? At least you are consistent."

"Sorry Mr. Chadwick, I had a family...thing."

"At least you made it before the game actually started. Here, this is for you."

Joan accepts a sheet of paper. "What's this?"

"Your script. It's your responsibility to welcome the crowd to the start of the 2005 basketball season. You then introduce the starting players for the Eagles."

Joan looks at the paper. "Hey, Dylan is in the staring line-up."

"Eddie Holmes sprained his wrist, and Mr. Hunter is taking his place. After you introduce our team, the spokesman from the other team will introduce their starting five."

"Great. Who are we playing?"

Chadwick sighs. "The St. Mary Wildcats. It was announced every day this week in homeroom, and there must be a hundred 'Beat the Wildcats' posters scattered about the school."

"Gimme a break. This is my first game."

"You've never been to a school game?"

"I never claimed to be the model of school spirit. Is there anything else I have to do?"

"Your last task is to introduce the student volunteer who will sing the national anthem."

"What kind of a dweeb..."

"Actually, we never run short of volunteers. However, I recall how well you sang in last year's musical, and..."

"No way, no how, not ever! Now I need to find a seat before they are all taken."

"No need. The first row behind the bench is reserved seating. As student council president, you're allotted three seats for ever game. Follow me."

Chadwick leads the way around the basketball court to the reserved seating. In the first reserved seat is John Hunter.

"Hello Dr. Hunter."

"Joan, congratulations on your election. Looking forward to the game?"

"Yeah, but I'm a little nervous. I hope Dylan does well."

"I think he will. I don't want to add to your nervousness, but look who is sitting at the end of the reserved row."

Joan glances to the end of the row and sees Ryan Hunter in conversation with science teacher, Edgar Heugel.

Joan jokes, "Not a pair I would like to meet in a dark alley."

Dr. Hunter laughs.

Chadwick ahems, "Miss Girardi..."

"Sorry Doc, gotta jet."

Chadwick and Joan continue walking along the reserved row, and Joan spots another familiar face.

"Detective Williams, what are you doing here?"

"Hello Joan. I often come to the games with Steven."

"Steven? The two of you are dating?"

"Ever since we met during the Briana Matthews case."

Chadwick adds, "In fact, Toni and I have recently become engaged."

"I had no idea. Cngratulations."

Toni replies, "Thank you."

"Miss Girardi, your reserved seating is just a few places down, clearly marked."

"Thank you Mr. Chadwick for all your help."

Chadwick sits next to Toni, and Joan walks on until she comes to a spot labeled, COUNCIL PRESIDENT. On each side are empty spaces labeled, GUEST.

Joan says to herself, "Huh, I guess I'll have to get an entourage."

Before siting, Joan looks up the rows of bleachers, and spots Adam, Glynis and Friedman, sitting together. They exchange waves. Transition up the bleachers to where those three are sitting...

Glynis smiles. "Hail to the chief, our president has arrived. I wonder if she's saving those two extra seats for Grace and Luke?"

Adam says, "Like Grace would ever come to a game."

Friedman adds, "Besides, I happen to know Luke is filling in for Joan at the bookstore."

Adam says, "Hey look, there's Ryan. Maybe I should go down and say hello, since he's my boss."

Glynis sniffs, "Do as you will. I don't care to associate with the man."

Adam responds, "You sound like Joan. For some reason, she can't stand the guy."

Friedman mocks, "But with Glynis the reason is known. He rejected her attempt to seduce him."

Glynis protests, "A gross exaggeration! I merely flirted with the man. Girls do that, test our flirting skills. I never expected anything to happen between me and a man in his thirties."

Adam asks, "Then why are you still bothered?"

"There are social norms for such situations. One should either be aloof, humorous, clever, or simply kind. Mr. Hunter's rejection was cold and mean. I can't stand people who are cruel for no other reason than they can be."

"Okay then, I won't speak to him."

Friedman says, "Besides, he's sitting with that bastard, Heugel."

Glynis asks, "Still bitter about that 'F' he gave you?"

"Wouldn't you be? Heugel destroyed my perfect record. Except for gym class, I've never received anything less than an 'A'. Someday I'll get even with that guy."

Meanwhile, at the center of the basketball court, a microphone stand has been set up and a nervous Joan approaches it. Standing nearby is the spokesman for the Wildcats' team, Father Ken Mallory. Joan reads from her script...

"Good evening Arcadia High, and welcome to the 2005/2006 basketball season. We are anticipating another great year for the Eagles. As the oldest high school in Arcadia, it is our annual priviledge to host the first home game of the year. Tonight, we face our old cross town rivals, from St. Mary's Catholic High School. But first, let's give a warm Arcadia High welcome to the Eagles' starting five... Dylan Hunter! Rick Wylie! Amad Cooper! Nate Jefferson! And team captain, Carson Kelly!" (The crowd cheers wildly as each member of the starting five runs out onto the court, waves and returns to the bench.) "And now to introduce the St Mary's Wildcats, welcome Father Ken Mallory."

Polite applause comes from the Arcadia students, but the small band of St Mary supporters behind their bench, give a standing ovation. Father Ken and Joan pause for a brief, private conversation...

"Father Ken, good to see you again. Sorry about us having to trounce your team."

"I wouldn't count my eggs before they are hatched, President Girardi. We may have a few surprises for you, Joan."

A smiling Father Ken steps up to the microphone. "Thank you. First, we at St. Mary's want to congratulate Arcadia High on the milestone of your bicentennial." (Crowd cheers.) "And now the starting line up for the Wildcats. At left and right forwards, twin brothers Tom and Tim Mallory... And yes, before you ask, they are my nephews. Last year, this next young man was the only sophmore to be named All-City, at left guard, Matt Hughes... Also last year, St. Mary's won the girl's state championship, and their former team captain returns as boy's team captain and right guard, Matt's older sister, Madison Hughes... Last, and certainly not least, at center, our foreign exchange student from Lithuania, and standing an even seven foot tall, Boris Andropov!"

The St. Mary supporters cheer wildly for their team as the Arcadia fans sit in stunned silence. As Father Ken returns to the Wildcats' bench, Joan goes back to the microphone...

"Wow." (Joan reads from her script.) "And now to sing our national anthem, student volunteer...Dylan Hunter??"

Dylan steps to the microphone, the music swells, he opens his mouth...

X X X X X

Back at the Girardi home, Helen naps peacefully on the couch in the den, while a small fire burns in the fireplace. Helen is dreaming again. This time in her dream, she awakes on a floor that looks like white glass. She is in a circle of light, and all around her is total darkness. She stands and calls out to the darkness...

"Hello? Where am I?"

Sensing she is not alone, Helen turns and is face to face with Cute Boy God.

"Oh, it's you."

"Hello Helen."

"What's the procedure here? Should I bow or kneel?"

"Some people fall flat on their faces. Others throw their arms around me and hug me. However you are comfortable."

"Maybe I'll just stand."

"Alright. I just stopped by to say, well done."

"I was so scared. For a time, I thought I might have killed Mr. Waters."

"I would never ask you to harm anyone, and even though you were scared, you obeyed. You had faith."

"Will he be okay?"

"You heard the medical report. It was accurate."

"Then why did you want me to keep all of this secret?"

"If you had told anyone that you had deliberately adulterated Ralph Waters' food with a known, dangerous allergen, what would have been the result?"

"They would have locked me in a padded cell, especially if I had admitted it was done on orders from God. So, is that it? Mission accomplished, and I can go back to my normal life?"

"Eager to be rid of me, Helen?"

"Nooo, but I am aware of the pressure involved in acting for God."

"But wasn't it worth it? You saved a life. Stay open to the possibilities, Helen. Trust me. It's all I ask."

Helen's eyelids begin to droop, and in a moment she is asleep were she stands... Transition back to the den, where Helen continues to nap peacefully.

X X X X X

Back at the Arcadia High gym, the game is nearing half time. Dylan is driving for the basket. He easily evades a defender and takes a shot, but it is knocked away by the opposing team's gigantic center. The crowd groans as the buzzer sounds. An announcer calls...

"And that's half time folks, with the score Arcadia, 38 and St. Mary's, 40."

Both teams run off the court and head for the locker rooms. Volunteers appear and begin to mop/dry the floor, replenish the towels, and carry away the drink coolers for fresh Gatorade. The crowd heads for the refreshment stands, the bathrooms or just mingle. Joan spots Mascot God headed her way...

"Enjoying the game, Joan?"

"I really am, and Dylan is doing well--second highest scorer on our team."

"Unfortunately, you need to take your attention from the game, and prepare yourself. Your test of leadership has arrived."

"Test? Here and now in front of all of these people?"

"Yes, and your success depends on getting others to do your bidding."

"What if I fail?"

"It's war, Joan. Failure increases casualties."

"You mean--you mean people might die?"

Mascot God begins to walk away...

"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do!"

Mascot God pauses and raises his megaphone. "Be alert. Stay focused. Adapt to change."

Mascot God continues walking away. At the end of the row, he stops to exchange glances with Ryan Hunter. Ryan stares back in a barely concealed moment of anger. Mascot God again raises his megaphone...

"Go Eagles!"

Mascot God walks away. Ryan smiles and turns to watch Joan, seemingly aware that she is being tested. Joan ignores him, stands on her chair and scans the entire gym for...?

As the minutes tick by, Joan notices groups of fans returning to their seats, loaded down with snacks. She sees volunteers putting away mops and brooms in a storage closet. Chadwick and Toni, holding hands, are returning to their seats. Ryan Hunter, alone, still intently watches her. Joan automatically turns and sees John Hunter watching the whole scene, and guarding her from his brother. Joan breathes a sigh of relief and continues to watch for...? She sees a couple of volunteers deliver the Gatorade cooler back to the Eagles' bench, followed shortly by the Arcadia team's return to the gym. Joan once again spots Mascot God, doing the common labor many of the God versions do--this time returning a cooler to the Wildcats' bench. Right after that, the St. Mary's team returns to the gym. Finally, Joan sees a few stragglers among the fans drifting back to their seats as the two teams begin a brief warm up session before the start of the second half.

Joan pauses, thinking. She looks closely at the Gatorade cooler on the bench a few feet in front of her, and then to the one on the opposing team's bench. Joan scans the area, looking for allies. She spots Noah at the A-V table, where the audio-visual guys have been recording the game. She calls out...

"Noah! Noah Beaumont!"

Noah looks up and sees Joan waving frantically. He hurries over to her.

"What's up, Joan?"

"Do you have your camera phone with you?"

Noah pulls the item from his pocket. "Always."

"I need a huge favor. See the guy in the Eagle costume?"

"The one just leaving?"

"Yes. I need you to follow him, and get as many pictures of him that you can."

"Well, okay. For you, Joan."

"And Noah, for the love of God, don't let him get his hands on you!"

Noah nods solemnly and hurries off in pursuit. Joan scans the crowd behind her.

"Friedman! Hey Friedman!"

Joan gestures for Friedman to join her. He hesitates and points to himself to make sure this isn't a mistake. Joan nods and gestures again. Friedman hurries down towards Joan. She turns towards where the Eagles are warming up.

"Dylan!"

Dylan hesitates and points to his basketball, as if to say: `Can't you see I'm busy'?

Joan shouts, "Dylan, now!"

Sheepishly, Dylan passes the ball to another player and heads toward Joan. Most of the players laugh, and a couple of them make whipcrack sounds. Dylan and Friedman arrive at the same time.

Dylan says, "Joan, this isn't a good time."

"I'm sorry, but I've got to ask an enormous favor of you guys, and I need you to trust me."

Friedman asks, "Wait, is this going to be one of those ideas that make us stare at you while wondering just how crazy you are?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay then, lay it on us."

"First, Dylan, I need you to knock over the Gatorade cooler that's on the Wildcats' bench. Make sure all the contents spill out. Friedman, I need you to recover as much of the Gatorade as you can."

Dylan shakes his head. "Joan, Friedman is right. You're crazy."

Friedman asks, "What do I do with the Gatorade?"

"Chemical analysis. Take it to the chem lab and check it for poison. Can you do it?"

"I'm not a forensic specialist, but using the school lab, I can check for some of the more common poisons."

"You'll do it?"

"Give me a minute to get into position."

"Wait!" Dylan calls, but Friedman is already hurrying away. "Joan, I don't know why you suspect poison, but we should tell the school authorities or the cops."

"Okay, Chadwick is right over there, and the lady next to him is a police detective. Do you want to try to convince them to act within the next few minutes based wholly on my hunch?"

"Well..."

"In a couple of minutes, this warm up session will end, and the first thing those Wildcat players will do is head for the Gatorade. If you won't try to make this look like an accident, then I'll have to go over there and blatantly do it myself. I'll get suspended, and maybe even arrested. Either way, I need your answer, right now."

Dylan sighs. "I guess it was fate. My Dad is a psychiatrist, so I end up falling in love with a crazy girl. Okay, I'm in."

Dylan turns and runs back onto the court.

Joan whispers, "He love me?"

Dylan grabs a ball and dribbles to the other side of the court. As he passes the St. Mary's bench, he seems to lose control of the ball. Dylan chases the ball, does a poor imitation of tripping, and lands squarely on the drink cooler. The lid of the cooler pops off, and all of the Gatorade spills out. Friedman is there, ready with a couple of empty cups from the concession stand, and he catches a large sample of the Gatorade. Quickly, Friedman rushes away.

"Yes!" Joan shouts, as she pumps her arm in triumph, but she bumps into someone behind her. She turns and finds an enraged Ryan Hunter looming over her.

Ryan demands, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Joan boldly looks him in the eye. "I stopped you this time, didn't I?"

"I warned you about involving Dylan in our business."

Ryan takes a step closer, and Joan instinctively backs away. Again she bumps into someone. She looks over her shoulder and sees John Hunter.

"I've got your back, Joan."

Ryan sneers, "Really, Doctor? Did you see what this mental patient of yours did? She's leading Dylan around by his hormones and getting him to act as crazy as she is."

"You mean Dylan's fall? It looked...accidental to me."

They are suddenly joined by Steven Chadwick. "It didn't look so accidental to me! Miss Girardi, did you have anything to do with that farce we just witnessed?"

"I-I don't know what you mean."

Dylan and the other players return to the Eagles' bench.

Chadwick orders, "Mr. Hunter, hit the showers! You're out of this game."

"But sir..."

Dr. Hunter says, "Better do as he says, son."

"Yes sir." Dylan replies, and after an aggrieved look at Joan, he exits.

Chadwick calls out, "Mr. Kelly, Mr. Wylie, take our team's cooler over to the St. Mary's team, and offer an apology for the unfortunate 'accident'."

The two basketball players quickly comply.

Chadwick continues, "Miss Girardi, I expect you and Dylan Hunter in my office immediately following the game. Call one of your parents to be there. Dr. Hunter, I would appreciate your presence too."

"I wouldn't miss it."

"Then I suggest we all return to our seats before we make a spectacle of ourselves."

The three men drift away from Joan, who collapses into her chair. Moments later, Noah Beaumont slides into a seat next to Joan. They begin to whisper...

X X X X X

In Chadwick's office, shortly after the game has ended, Will and Joan are seated together, as are Dr. Hunter and Dylan. Friedman sits in a chair off to the side. Chadwick enters and sits at his desk.

"Good evening, thank you for being so prompt. Mr. Friedman, I don't remember asking for your presence."

"I'm involved in this matter, sir. So, I came voulntarily."

"Commendable. Let's get to it. Mr. Hunter, did you deliberately knock over that cooler?"

"Yes sir."

"Did you do this at Miss Girardi's request?"

"Again, yes sir."

"Well, this is going easier than I expected."

Dr. Hunter says, "I for one would like to know why. Joan?"

"Earlier this evening, I spoke with the regular school mascot--a kid of medium height who wears white sneakers. I have here several photos, courtesy of Noah Beaumont, of a large guy in black sneakers who was also wearing an Eagle costume." (Joan places the recently printed out photos on Chadwick's desk.) "This guy brought in the Gatorade cooler for the St. Mary's team. I believed he had poisoned the contents."

Chadwick asks, "Why?"

"Call it a hunch, or woman's intuition, or being a cop's daughter who is aware of the attacks on religious targets in this city."

Will says, "So that's why you insisted I be here instead of your mother. Do you have any proof, Joan?"

"Friedman?"

Friedman clears his throat and responds, "Per Joan's instructions, I collected samples of the Gatorade. First I gave some to one of the white mice used in the psychology class in maze experiments." (Friedman opens a small bag and drops the contents on Chadwick's desk.) "As you can see, it died within minutes. I then used the Marsh hydrogen test to confirm what I suspected...arsenic. Here Chief is the rest of the sample, and I'm sure your lab guys will confirm my findings."

Dr. Hunter asks, "Was the dosage enough to kill a person?"

"It would depend on how much they drank, but it certainly would have made them violently ill." Friedman replies.

Chadwick says, "Clearly this has gone beyond a school matter. Mr. Hunter, Mr. Friedman, and Miss Girardi, my apologies and my thanks. I have no further claim on your time, but I imagine Chief Girardi does."

"Yeah, if you kids will wait in the hall, we will be going downtown for formal statements."

Friedman, Dylan and Joan exit Chadwick's office and proceed to the hallway outside the school offices. There, they exchange high-fives.

Friedman says, "That was so cool! It was like an episode of CSI: Arcadia. I was so nervous, my mouth went dry. I'm going to grab a soda--you guys want anything?"

Joan and Dylan decline, and Friedman hurries away.

Dylan says, "Joan, you were amazing!"

"Yeah, yeah--pin a medal on me. We have more important things to discuss. Like, you love me?"

"Oh, that. I had always planned on a romantic setting the first time I told you, but I'm not taking it back. I'm deeply, hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with you, Joan. But don't feel you have to say..."

Joan stands on her tiptoes and throws her arms around Dylan's neck. She gives him a long, tender kiss.

"I love you too."

THE END. PLEASE REVIEW.