Just Face It

By Shadowgate

…

Stan and his friends along with other classmates were now in fifth grade. They were enjoying fifth grade because the sixth grade bullies from last year moved on to seventh in middle school. It kicked off to an awesome start.

However one day as school was letting out Stan and Kyle saw Mister Adler crying in the hallway.

Stan said "oh no Mister Adler is having another breakdown."

Kyle said "oh man let's see what the problem is."

Stan said "Mister Adler are you okay?"

Mister Adler answered "oh it's just that it's my two year anniversary at South Park Elementary School."

Clyde who'd just come upon Mister Adler asked "so you hate it here and you're crying because you've been here for two years? What did we ever do to you?"

Mister Adler responded "no I don't hate it here and I certainly don't hate any of you kids."

Craig jumped in and asked "why are you crying?"

Mister Adler said "well it's because around the same time I started working here I'd just lost a loved one in a plane crash and that's why this anniversary is a sad time for me, however I'll admit since I started working here there's never been a dull moment."

Kyle responded "that's because something always happens here in South Park Colorado."

Mister Adler laughed and said "oh I know."

Cartman came up and said "when something happens in South Park it's because Kyle's mom did it. It's always Kyle's mom's fault."

Kyle replied "oh so it's my mom's fault you broke the dam and flooded the town next door!"

Cartman snapped "Stan did that!"

Stan shot back "you were my accomplice."

Craig changed the subject "well I say the reason so much crap happens in South Park is because of four kids in particular."

Kenny gave Craig a dirty look as did his two friends and the fat ass.

Stan said "Craig it wasn't our fault we all ended up in Peru. Plus you led us out of Peru. That long trail you led us on was nice. It was relaxing even if Cartman found it boring."

Cartman snapped "IT WAS BORING!"

Kyle pointed out "Craig you not only led us out of Peru but you were victorious."

Stan and Kenny quickly agreed and both put their arms around Craig.

Craig said "well thank you guys."

Tweek said "well hey don't forget I saved you from Spielberg and Lucas."

Craig said "Tweek let's also not forget we were lied to and tricked into fighting."

Tweek said "yeah" then twitched and went on to say "you can't blame Kyle's mom for that."

Craig said "yeah!"

Stan said "yes and we confessed to both of you in the hospital. We told each of you that you both said bad things about each other just to get you to fight."

Mister Adler said "now that's lying to start a fight and that's screwing around big time. You know I hate it when you kids screw around."

Craig said "Mister Adler's right, I ended up beating Tweek's ass because we were in third grade and I fell for the rumors."

Tweek said "wait" and twitched and then said "first of all you were the first one to flip me off and second you didn't beat my ass."

Craig said "I flipped you off after Cartman told me that you said I ate shit."

Mister Adler snapped "LANGUAGE!"

Tweek said "okay, ahh, we were lied to."

Craig responded "yes we were."

Stan said "Neither one of you beat the other but you both put each other in the hospital and you both shared the same hospital room like boyfriends."

Craig said "Tweek is not my boyfriend you Stan you fucking cocksucker!"

Mister Adler yelled "CRAIG!"

Tweek said "we were put in the same room" and twitched again.

Kyle said "Stan let's not let them go at it again."

Stan said "you're right Kyle."

Tweek said "yeah I don't want to have to beat Craig again!"

Craig replied "wait I thought we established that neither of us won."

Tweek said "ahhh"

Craig said "Tweek if you want a rematch we can have one. I don't like the way you just looked at me."

Tweek said "well I didn't like the way you looked at me. Plus you were the first to claim you beat my ass."

Craig said "yeah that's true but then we established that nobody won remember?"

Tweek said "yeah and then you asked if I wanted a rematch and now I'll go ahead and say yes."

Craig said "alright let's go right here in the hallway."

Stan and Kyle both yelled "NO!"

Craig and Tweek begin shoving each other. Mister Adler says "stop screwing around."

Craig gives Tweek and bloody nose and Craig counters with a black eye.

Principal Victoria came out of her office and separates both boys.

All the other kids went home while Tweek and Craig sat in the clinic waiting for the nurse to come from the teacher's lounge.

The nurse entered and helped both of them but then Craig's sister Ruby entered the nurse's office.

Ruby told Craig "oh Craig I was on my way to the bus but I heard you got into a fight with Tweek."

Craig said "we both agreed to pick up a fight that went on two years ago."

Ruby said "well now that you've had time to put ice on your black eye I think you need to leave the clinic so we can go home but Principal Victoria needs to see you first."

Craig asked "for what?"

Ruby answered "well you did start a fight Craig."

Craig said "we both agreed to it."

Ruby said "oh then you're both going to be equally in trouble because you equally agreed."

Craig said "Goddamn it."

Ruby said "bad tempers get people in trouble Craig."

Craig said "you're right and I should just face it."

Ruby put her arm around her big brother and said "come on."

CRAIG TUCKER AND TWEEK TWEAK WERE BOTH SUSPENDED FOR THREE DAYS FOR FIGHTING.

Craig said "Tweek I'm sorry to let my temper take over. I should have just not said anything when the history of our fight in third grade was brought up."

Tweek said "I'm sorry as well. We have gotten along great since then."

Tweek and Craig hi-five.

THE END