Hell-o everyone, and welcome to a new story by me :P It's M here, jbtw.
Everyone writes of love, of heartbreak, of loving a monster... but sometimes you have to face the ugly truth (Like I had to, regretfully): Love isn't always without pain. A person's love is challenged by the hardships that follow bliss. You only see how strong 'true love' is when a person begins to crack under it's pressure. For certain people, the strain is enormous and they shatter, taking refuge in other things. But for some people, they will continue to follow only one path of the heart, to follow only six very important words:
Love doesn't die, even after death.
She was sprinting. Faster, faster, her heart sang. Slow down, you'll hurt yourself, said her brain. But she kept on running, defying every voice of reason that had ever spoken to her in her whole life, slipping on the slick pavements, as they were beaten down by the rain.
They were burying him.
The announcement had been made in a closed meeting; family, friends and colleagues only.
If that's what you could call everyone who knew Ryuga Kishatu.
Gingka and the rest had come almost as soon as the message for the meeting went out. Getting Bao, Chris, Aguma, Tithi, Yuki and Dynamis had taken some doing, but Hikaru Hasama always did her job well, and a helicopter was immediately dispatched for them. She had been giddy with excitement at the notice of a meeting. Yeah, sure there could have been a hundred reasons, but the icy haired girl had been sure it was about the missing Dragon Emperor.
She ran on, ignoring her burning lungs, ignoring her screaming legs. All she could think about was him. A pale, still body. A large wooden box. A group of black clad people, offering their condolences at an unmarked grave. No one would remember him, not the way she would. No one would remember the passionate, loving person who had helped her back on her feet, given her life meaning again. They would only remember a mad, power hungry boy who loved to pick a fight and died without fulfilling his duty.
Perhaps, in one Gingka Hagane's case, he would remember a strong opponent who was persistent in his training and his battles. Or perhaps Tsubasa Otori would recall the battle that left him infected with the Dark Power. Maybe little Yuu Tendo would recall his cold and calculating demeanor as they travelled across Japan for Battle Bladers. Ryo Hagane himself might put in a few words of the time he had battled Ryuga for L-Drago, but only young Kenta Yumiya would remain silent and quietly mourn the death of his companion, his mentor and trainer. Because he was the only person, other than Hikaru herself who knew what actually lay beneath that mask of cruelty.
The sky's opened and the rain pelted down faster, stinging her skin almost as bad as her burning heart. She would run to the edge of the world and stand there, hands spread wide and whisper his name, just before embracing the darkness beyond, if only to be with him forever.
"Hikaru." someone called out to her from the doorway and she looked up from her paperwork. The Director of the WBBA stood before her, expression set grimly.
"Director," she replied immediately standing up and straightening her suit. "What can I do for you?" Ryo pinched the bridge of his nose, a sign of his discomfort.
"You should attend the meeting."
"Sir?" she asked a little confused. She had supposed it was a Legendary Bladers-only meeting, even though she had her suspicions that it was a Ryuga-centered one.
"There is news to be told, Hikaru, and you knew the boy as well." The boy. So it was about Ryuga, after all. Her heart did a happy dance and she thought, they must have found him!
"Of course, Director. I'll be there in a minute."
She had left the city, heading towards the Coliseum where they would often train-and in a certain couple's case, have extensive makeout sessions- in peace. Thunder rumbled above her head and lightning lit up the twilight, casting a golden white glow on the deserted streets. It resembled the colour of his hair, when it was bathed in the shades of the rising sun. Her eyes burned as hot tears ran down her cheeks, mixing with rainwater as it dropped from her chin into the soil; the sorrow, the passion, already forgotten.
The room was dark and silent when she entered and took a seat in between Tsubasa and Dynamis. Some of them were surprised to see her, but she caught Madoka Amano's eye which were full of a sly knowingness, even if her facial features read otherwise. Hikaru cringed inwardly, trying to hide the growing blush. Of course the brunette knew, but she was a kind soul, a person one was able to trust. Hikaru's secret was safe with her.
But for how much longer can I deny it, my love? she thought as she ran into the unilluminated darkness.
Roses rot in flower pots
And rains falls from the sky
I count to ten twice- and again,
As I wait for them to die
Petals fall; and then once I stood so tall.
She had stood tall, once and then again, when his calloused yet gentle hands had guided her through the layers she had spun around herself; a butterfly emerging from it's slumberous change.
The table quieted down as Ryo took his place at it's head. Gingka sat on one side, Kyoya Tategami on the other. The Immortal Phoenix cleared his throat before he began.
"Thank you all for coming. As you know, this meeting is to discuss the, ahem, disappearance of our fellow Blader, Ryuga." Score. "It's been three months since the Battle of Nemesis and since we saw the boy. And-" he broke of with a frustrated sigh and put his head in his hands.
The blunette's heart skipped a few beats. Something wasn't right, she could see it on her boss's face. What if it wasn't Ryuga's recovery but his… the thought made her want to scream and throw herself out of the window. On the other end of the table, Gingka was whispering to his father.
"C'mon Dad. You have to tell us! What happened?" he urged and when the head of the WBBA looked up, Hikaru could have sworn she saw the beginning of tears in his eyes.
But why would you cry, Director? Nothing he ever did had a good outcome for you. Her wet clothes stuck to her curvy frame, the way his memories were stuck to her brain. The rain wasn't letting up and she didn't slow down even a bit as she entered the Coliseum. A torrent of memories hit her full in the face. Battle Bladers, end of the line. The day she picked up her bey again.
First kiss.
A fit of shivers overtook her but it wasn't the cold that forced it out of her, it was those few moments, those first few moments when the world no longer existed. It was just him and her, in the sunset, undisturbed. Apologies were returned with stinging remarks, smiles with scowls, laughter with tears of frustration, as he tried to make it up to her.
"What do I have to do to make it up to you?" he finally exclaimed, throwing his hands up in annoyance.
"Nothing you've tried till now." was all she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. He was silent for a moment, before closing the gap between them with two strides. She startled but was too shocked and scared to move away. He was a mere inches away from her, his breath hot on her face as he grabbed her wrists and pried her arms off her body, placing them at her sides.
"How about this?" he hissed and crashed his lips against hers, pushing her back. She stumbled under the force of his kiss and pulled her hands away, placing them behind his neck. She was on fire, drowning in the sensation of kissing him, the spicy scent of his skin, the taste of his lips; minty and fresh. Body pressed to body, heart's hammering together as the sun's dying colours lit up the stadium around them, she kissed him as if he was her lifeline. Oh, she could feel soft, silky white locks between her fingers, feel the graze of the golden headpiece he wore-
Her eyes flew open in shock. She was making out with Ryuga, the guy who had left her broken, her life destroyed. She pulled his white locks hard forcing him away. "What?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head. Hikaru's eyes were already swimming with tears, teeth gritted together.
"Don't." she hissed at him, as he tried to approach her. "Stay away from me, you bastard."
With that she had taken off in a run, sneaking a look back at him, only to see him standing there, hands in his hair, the way people did when they believed they had seriously screwed up. She had seriously screwed up.
She didn't look back after that.
"Our search parties… have found something." Ryo continued. Everyone immediately sat up and leaned forward. Aguma and the others standing in the corners walked up to the table, she could sense Chris standing behind her chair. The man cleared his throat again.
"The island has definitely sunk, as we all know. One team returned to the spot where it went under and scaled the area. They even scuba dived to the ruins to see if the could find, perhaps, an airtight area where he could have been staying." He paused to let the news sink in.
"And they found what exactly?" Kyoya demanded, leaning closer.
"They found… well,-" Aguma cut in.
"If they found something, it means he's still alive, right?" he asked. She silently thanked the boy; she was too choked up to ask herself. Ryo took a deep breath and continued.
"They found his headpiece and bey holder. Just his head piece and bey holder." Relief swept over her, and her heart swelled with joy, but her boss's next words burst her bubble of happiness.
"We're giving up the search." Cries of outrage burst out around the table. Kenta stood up in his seat, eyes blazing with anger, screaming at the redheaded man who was frantically trying to calm them down. Hikaru just sat there as her heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces and she felt sick, sick at heart, sick at the thought that she would never see the boy she loved again.
Ryo slammed his fists on the table. "Enough!" he roared, and the whole table settled down, Kenta still glaring at his curled hands.
"We're giving up the search, because it has been months. We haven't found him just his stuff, at the bottom of the deepest ocean, in the middle of nowhere!" She had never seen the man so angry before. "We all just have to come to terms with the fact that he isn't coming back. He's DEAD! And the dead don't walk again.
"The Metal graveyard is scheduled for his burial tomor-"
A strangled sob escaped her just then, and she could feel everyone's eyes on her as she clasped a hand over her mouth. Ryo immediately calmed down, eyes softening as he studied her.
"Hikaru-" but she didn't let him finish. She pushed back from the table and ran away. Away from the meeting, away from the people, away from the building itself into the stormy gray evening.
Now as she collapsed in the middle of the Coliseum, her mind whirled and twirled, making her nauseous. Her nails dug into the soft brown mud around her knees, the puddle of water before her reflected her face. Bloodshot eyes, their once magnificent colour washed out by the tears; her golden brown skin dripped raindrops and black tracks of mascara ran down her cheeks; her hair lay flat against her head and in her eyes, graying in the dirty light.
But now my colour fades every time I think about you,
They were so blue, and brightly hued, but now I'm just a shade..
She couldn't help herself. She clenched her eyes shut and threw her head back, screaming at the top of her lungs. Guttural, heart-wrenching screams that ended in sobs, shoulders shaking, a torrent of tears streaming down her face. She wasn't sure how long she was there in the wet mud, but she knew she had passed out in exhaustion and grief. When her amethyst orbs fluttered open, the blood red rays of the sun had broken through the clouds, casting a glow over the ruined structure. For a while, Hikaru just lay there, watching the sun set as it's vibrant shades grew duller and paler. The last of the rainclouds had dissipated, and suddenly everything felt coarse and dry again.
My veins run dry, just like the sky.
We haven't had much rain
I still wonder why you went away,
It brought back more memories.
"Hasama residence, this is Hikaru." she spoke into the phone one evening as she cleared up her small but airy apartment. A chuckle on the other end of the line made her freeze in mid action. "You." she hissed into the speaker, unable to keep the anger-and obvious fear- out of her voice.
"Me." Ryuga agreed. She shuddered at the sound of his voice.
"What, are you stalking me now? Trying to play creepy dude, are we? Well let me tell you one thing, boy: Get a bloody life!" Her voice rose with every word, growing more frantic.
The other end of the line was silent after her outburst but she could hear him breathing. Her voice shook when she spoke again. "Leave me alone." She was about to put the phone back when he spoke.
"Please, Hikaru." And she froze, inhaling sharply. She wasn't sure what made her stop, but the way he whispered her name, so lovingly, so gently; the breathy 'H', the roll of the 'r' made her heart clench. Reluctantly, she cradled the phone against her ear.
"Y-Yes?" she asked rather uncertainly. A sigh of relief.
"Don't put the phone down." he told her softly, his voice deepening.
They talked that night, on and on. She made herself comfortable on the ledge of the large windows, watching the sun fade into darkness, a few wispy clouds floating around. A small smile played her lips unconsciously, her fingers twined between locks of icy hair. Hours later, she checked the clock and was shocked at the time; they had spoken for almost five hours. She quickly spoke into the phone, explaining that she had to get some sleep, or Ryo would have her head for being late. The boy on the other end said a reluctant goodbye.
"So… are we good?" he asked. Hikaru bit her lip, but couldn't help but smile.
"I… guess." She heard a huff of annoyance from his end.
"Are you playing hard to get?" he demanded, but she just giggled.
"'Night Ryuga."
"See you soon?"
Pause. "Yeah."
She couldn't help the cracked smile, the single tear that ran down her already damp face. That had been the first night of weeks and weeks, until she finally agreed to meet him in person.
The twilight came suddenly, and she realized she had to get home.
Hikaru trudged back to the city, soaking wet and shivering in the cold. The others would be worried sick, she was sure, due to her sudden disappearance and absence from the city, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered if he wasn't there.
After a hot shower she dragged herself into bed, welcoming the dreamless sleep that succumbed her.
She awoke to loud pounding on her door. She shook the grogginess from her body and made her way over to the door, opening it to reveal a concerned Tsubasa, Gingka and Madoka. They were dressed immaculately in black, faces sombre yet worried. The previous day's events returned to her exhausted body, brain and heart, yet again pulling them into the depths of Tartarus. Flames and pain, that was all she felt now, flames and pain. A bitten lip to hold back tears. A curt nod to let them know she was alright, a mask she had learnt to perfect over years.
She allowed Madoka to help her get ready, picking out a fitted black dress sprinkled with ice; his favourite dress, the one she had worn to their first date. The blunette pinned her hair back, revealing her reddened amethyst eyes and tear streaked face. She decided to leave it the way it was, no makeup whatsoever so that people could see. See that someone actually cared about Ryuga, that someone actually loved him enough to cry so hard.
The drive to the cemetery was short, but too long for her. They passed the riverbanks where they had often met, the classy restaurant her had once taken her to, the shopping street she had forced him to accompany her to. Everywhere she looked, there were reminders of their short but blissful time together.
It was as if the Universe didn't want her to forget him.
She had been right. Only people who knew him from long known rivalries had showed up, stiff and unsure; the headstone was small, but his name was clearly carved into it with the words "I do not regret anymore that it was born." below it.
The tension in the air was thick. What if assuming he was dead was a big mistake, and he came back one day?
We were in a drought and full of doubt
She went last, to his grave, to that empty hole in the ground because she still believed that his body would never fill that spot. She stood before his imprinted name, twirling the small bouquet of roses between her fingers, silently praying for everyone to leave. Her prayers were answered, and the small clutch of people slowly trickled of to face the rest of the day she wasn't sure she would be able to. A firm, gentle hand found a place on her shoulder and Ryo's voice spoke to her.
"I promised his mother I would look after him like my own son. I- I believe I failed her- and him- and I truly regret it. And I will regret it everyday from today till the day it's my turn to enter the earth." He left after saying that, leaving her more empty than ever.
Hikaru sank to her knees as the last of the retreating footsteps fell silent and placed the bouquet on the grave. White and pale blue, a refreshing touch to the gray stone.
As you threw roses on the ground
They were for us
Time lost it's track again, and she cried. And cried and cried and cried. She read his name, the words blurring, attaching his surname to her first.
Hikaru Kishatu.
She studied the inscription below it; it was from the time the Dark Power had a hold over him, she guessed.
And I still miss your touch of dauntlessness.
It had always been one of the reasons she had fallen in love with him. The danger, the darkness, it was just so attractive. Or that's what she thought; most girls kept their distance from boys like him, but Hikaru had a dark streak of rebelliousness that had pulled her towards the bad-boy supreme.
She would do anything to get him back… anything.
Despite the pain, her eyes began to dry up. Her sobs turned dry, tears spent to the maximum.
"Hikaru?" a soft and familiar female voice asked from behind her. She refused to tear her eyes away from his tombstone, and a second later Madoka knelt on the ground next to her, wrapping a consoling arm around her shoulders. The sisterly love was strongly felt in her heart, and she wrapped her arms around Madoka and quietly sobbed into her shoulder.
"Why, Madoka? Why did he have to go? He just left me and there's a chance he's not coming back and- and this might sound seriously selfish, but- but why did it have to be him? He didn't deserve it, none of them did but Fate had to regain it's stupid balance and he got caught up in the process-" Madoka cut her off with soft hushing sounds.
"It's okay, Hikaru. Everything's going to be okay… You've just got to believe that he would have tried really hard to come back to you." her voice was full of raw emotion, as if she could relate to the feeling. The icy haired girl sniffled.
"Do you really… think so?" Madoka sat up and placed her hands on Hikaru's shoulders.
"Of course I think so! Because I've seen the way he looked at you, soft and so full of love, that I'm sure nothing would keep him from you. If someone wanted to split the two of you, this would be the only way.
"Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept him from you."
He'd told her that before he left for Nemesis. Ryuga had pulled her close and held her there against his heart, lips pressed to her forehead.
"Till death do us apart, Hika. Only till death do us apart." he'd whispered in her ear, making her shiver.
Now, she was reminded of his words, but felt another stab of pain because they had been proved. Death had snatched him away from her, fulfilling his vow, as Death does when Death wants.
The dark apartment greeted her darkened heart and soul. It was late evening now, he usually called at this time. For a minute she was worried, but then she remembered; he would never call again.
No, it was wrong. The peace of ritual was disturbed and her schedule seemed messed up. She didn't even bother to change as she took her usual spot on the window ledge, phone in hand. Slowly, reluctantly, she keyed in his number, stared intently at the contact picture she had saved.
It was stupid, she knew, but a large part of heart begged that someone picked up the phone, and that the someone's deep, rich voice would answer her own. Her shuddering breath crackled on the line, the phone went to voicemail.
"Who are you and what the hell do you want? Don't leave a message if it's a waste of my time." his gruff voice said, then softened. "But if this is someone of importance, I'll call back as soon as I can." A giggle escaped her lips at the last part. He had added it soon after their late night chats became exclusive. The beep went off and she spoke into the line.
"Hey, baby. I was just- calling," her voice cracked, "I- um, well you know, I just miss you so much right now Rye," her vision swam yet again. "Just call me, okay baby?" and she cut the line, leaning her head against the cool glass. A piece she had once read as a child came back to her just then. It had never made sense before but now…
dearly beloved
your hands in your pocket
as you wait beside me
you've got a ticket to far away
and you're never looking back at me
I remember your eyes so dull and bloodshot
and your clothes reek of last week
but the grin glued on your pastel face
shows my greater future that I have to live without you
railroad tracks run nationwide
but your dreams conquer the world
and if you're a fellow dreamer
I think i am you girl
Days passed that way. She would finish off her work and training the settle down in her window seat and dial his number, promptly wait for it to beep and talk. She'd talk for longer and longer everyday, lost in her fantasy of ritual. She could almost hear him talking back to her, but on most days he would listen quietly, consoling her when no one could.
"Ryo told me that he knew your mom, and that he made her some sort of promise to keep you safe. Ring a bell?" she told the silent line one evening. "I mean, I didn't know you knew him before L-Drago or anything. You could have told me!" his deep chuckle played in the back of her head, and she sighed.
"Life's a little slow, I guess. The WBBA's become a bit boring now since Ryo decided to give me a desk job. But Yuu and Tithi drop in from time to time, and I guess I could use the coaching." Her heart soared a bit at the mention.
"On the bright side, I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, at four. I just have to think of an excuse to get Ryo to give me the time off, and we're good to go." she was silent again, her brain whirling. "I think Madoka has it figured out by now, and I'm trying not to make it too obvious, but it's a little hard explaining where you're going every now and then. To be honest, I don't care what the others think and I think that the sessions with the doctor are helping me cope. It's still really hard Rye, even though I try not to let it show so much."
The following day left her even more exhausted than the one's before. She was too tired to even call the phantom phone line, except to leave a quick message saying she would call the next day. Hikaru crawled into bed, relishing the soft pillows and down, falling into a deep slumber.
The pale bluish white dress hugged her chest and flowed down the rest of the way to her knees. The path in Metal City Park seemed more brightly lit, the night fresher than it had been over the last few weeks. The stars glowed brightly, Draco the brightest of all, a cool summer breeze kissed her face.
A boy was leaning against a tree not to far away, and she gasped. An all too familiar white jacket was draped around his shoulders, white locks blowing in the breeze, muscled arms crossed his chest. It was him. The excitement and overwhelming joy bubbled in her chest and she broke into a sprint. Ryuga grinned and grabbed her around the waist, spinning her around in the air before leading her into a serious liplock. Her hands were shaking as she laced them together behind his neck, laughing in relief. They pulled away and he placed his forehead against hers, hands caressing her rosy cheeks.
"I missed you Hika, you have no idea how much." She loved the way he spoke her pet name, pronounced it as hee-ka. Only he would call her that, and she thought she'd never hear it again. She closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"I missed you too, Rye." she whispered, "I thought I'd lost you forever." He looked at her, eyes full of pain and took hold of her hands.
"No, don't think like that," he told her, kissing her fingers lightly, "As long as I'm here," he led her hand to her temple, "And here," to her heart, "I'll always be with you. We'll never be apart."
She gazed into his amber eyes, the way they glowed so brightly in the light, the angles of his face, fine and sharp. It wasn't a picture, he was actually there and she realized how much she had forgotten about him, the small flaws and imperfections that she had loved. Time and pain did that to people, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy, between what others saw and what lover's saw, between images and flesh and blood.
"You'll always in those places," she told him, tone husky, "And now you'll be here too." She led his hand to her stomach and flattened his palm against it. One of his rare and honest smiles lit up his face, the pride evident in his eyes.
"Which reminds me, have you thought of a name?" he asked. The blunette slipped her hands under his arms to his shoulder blades.
"If it's a boy, I'll name him Ryuuhiko," she whispered softly. The amber eyed boy mouthed the name, then smiled.
"Dragon Prince, eh?" he chuckled.
"Well, what better name to give to the son of my Dragon Emperor?" she asked, resting her head against his heart. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she didn't want him to let go.
"And if it's a girl?"
"Manaki." his brow scrunched slightly.
"Love Chronicle?" she laughed quietly.
"No… Our love chronicle."
Hikaru Hasama dreamt on, a small smile on her lips, one hand layed protectively over her abdomen, the other curled into a loose fist, a silver ring clutched in it's depths.
Not too far away on her desk lay large brown envelope, ultrasound scans on top of it, revealing a little three month old infant.
I tried to pour in as many emotions as I could in this story. I myself have experienced some of these feelings when my grandfather passed away a few years back, so I hope it came off as good as I hoped.
The little quote in the summary as well as the two pieces of poetry are written by my good friend who I call the 'Mistress of Words': U.S.H. Not going to use the full name for reasons I hope everyone understands :3
Please do try to read my main story 'Angels And Bladers' as well as BlackCatNeko999's stories :D She has been a great inspiration in my writing. Thanks to everyone! R&R peeps :* thank you again.
-M