Chained Essence

A/N: I've had a thing for writing serious stuff lately. I'm glad im finally advancing past the only-humor shit I've done. It's about time I dive into the deep end of the pool. Ain't metaphors great?

--Another 2AM epiphany. Forgive my horrible so tired-im not tired writing non-skills. You know me. I get an idea and go for it. Whether it sucks or not. And it usually does. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Co.

Warning: Shōnen-ai, mature content (mild foreplay and bad language)

Edited

"dialogue"

thoughts

(1) - author note (placed at the bottom)

My eyelids drooped involuntarily. The sun had long set and on a mission where a two day trip back provokes my misery, you wouldn't be surprised my grin had become forlorn; fading along with the gleam of my sky-blue eyes.

It was my turn to hold ground over our campsite. My teammates are asleep, although probably awake enough to sense an attack coming anyway. You can see the importance of my role.

I force my long-eyelashed lids to widen back open. The wider, the more aware of my lack of awareness. I was obviously tired, but I'd obviously never admit to that. Did I just use two words twice?

I shook my head to better awaken my dozing brain cells. One (or all) would probably come back at that rudely with a "you idiot, they're always dozing". Just for the sake of saying it. Am I really that stupid? I've saved so many lives I can't count, and yet I'm still so inadequate to everyone's perspective. A little respect, huh?

I think I'm pretty smart. Just look at all the witty comments I just made!

My dwelling distracted me. The next thing I know, I'm hurtling towards the ground from my perch above the silent bivouac. As my back hit a lower branch of the tree I had just fallen from, I was reminded just how high I was. I was quick enough to stifle a pained cry. My dulled senses finally came running home and I, almost desperately, groped for the blurred visions of branches I'd been passing. I caught none.

I fell faster.

Of all my skills as a ninja, I can't even fuckin' grab a god-damned–

. . . hand?

My eyes opened (when did they close?) to find a limb tightly attached to my own, rescuing me from my, extremely pathetic, bone-crushing fate.

"Are you kidding me?"

I scowled. Snuffed-up Uchiha.

"Shut up. I slipped, that's all," I retorted groggily, trying fruitlessly to hide the tired drone of my voice.

"You fell asleep," he semi-smirked. I noticed the lack of passion (or poison?) in this one. Apparently Brother Bastard was just as drained as I was. That's a relief. Sigh. I guess.

I'm so tired.

I'm zoning back in by the time my rather limp body is lifted to the branch he himself is crouching on.

"I resent that," I said after the silence I induced. I think a lot when I'm half-asleep. A lot more than when I'm awake. I mentally chuckle.

"Of course you do," he grunts.

I almost smile. Almost. Either I was too weak, mentally and physically, or I didn't like the idea of him winning the rare opportunity to see my real smile. Why–I don't know. I guess I feel weakest when my mask is let down. I hate to look weak; feeling it comes right after that.

My eyes wander up. He's leaning against the trunk of the tree, arms folded stubbornly over his chest. His glare said 'stop spacing out you freak', but I knew better. His eyes held curiosity. He wants to know what I'm thinking. Sasuke's like that. He has to know everything or he has this spike of jealousy. He gets annoyed that somebody might actually know something he doesn't. Uchihas don't like secrets.

My grin set into place like an alarm clock awoke it from its slumber to breed a new day of mischief and self-preservation.

I flung me legs around the branch, swinging them lazily. "What?" I asked, feigning pure innocence; just to annoy him. Uzumaki Naruto may seem like some childish goof ball with pretty, pretty sunshine oozing out of his ears . . . and well, I kind of am . . . but not when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke. When it comes to this prick, my mien practically screams malicious bastard. It's like a sadistic perk of mine to play 'who can out-annoy the other' with him.

He wins a lot. I'm gettin' better though.

My grin increased in size. He glared harder. Whoops, thinking too much again. Heh, heh.

He says, adding to our time-old game of smarts, "You were just falling from a sky-high tree, now you're grinning like an idiot. Can you be serious for more than five minutes?"

I frowned at his comment. I can be serious. It just depends on the situation.

I personally didn't care for the quip. He wasn't smirking. He looked . . . angry. Why aren't you joking!? I scream at him mentally, nearly afraid to say it aloud.

"I can," I defended myself simply, gloom evident on my face–Unusually strong gloom.

Sasuke, not one for making (or continuing) conversation, once again grunted his response.

A silence broke out between us. This wasn't abnormal. We were at the point in our friendship where silences don't get awkward, but reasonably comfortable.

I studied his pale, noticeably stiff features.

His hands were gripping his arms like shackles, the abused skin reddening upon firm impact. His legs spread loosely, much like mine, around the branch. He doesn't sway them though. That would be totally uncivilized.

His, unnatural, raven hair split into two parts: the duck-butt back being pressed upwards into the trunk of the tree, his bangs hanging freely, framing his perfectly sculptured face unbelievably well.

My eyes quit their roaming. The air, one-sidedly, became tense–extremely unbreathable (1) as I felt the oxygen being drained from existence–despite being surrounded by trees. I ordered my eyes to stare at the branch below my numbing bottom. They refused to listen and looked up. Damn overtired brain, it won't listen!

They landed smack on black orbs. Is it just me or is it really hot for a late-Fall night?

I felt trapped. Like a fuckin' dumb rabbit caught in crossfire. His eyes held mine; deep onyx creeping into searing sapphire.

Then they moved away. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

I followed his gaze to what next occupied his interest. It was my neck.

I frowned. My neck?

I looked down to find nothing but my tanned skin, bone lines, and my necklace. So the only reasonable thing would be the necklace. What problem does he have with it?

"Why do you wear that?" I noticed the escalating ticked-off expression on his face. It would be amusing if he wasn't freaking me out. He's lookin' at the damned thing like it just had an affair with his girlfriend and he found out by walking in on them sleeping with each other. The hell?

"It was a gift . . . from the Hokage. Baa-chan." My frown grew deeper, my curiosity growing. "Why? What's it to you?"

The young bastard scoffed dismissively, like the question I just asked was the stupidest ever. He's acting superior again. I really hate that.

"Don't ignore my question, asshole!" I lightly yelled, knowing it unwise to get too loud in an enemy zone. Yes, we were close to Konohagakure, but not close enough. We happened to collapse from exhaustion right where opposing nin hideout to formulate attacks and keep track of our village. Luckily, they're smart enough not to start anything, considering the choice of ninja in our cell and the easy running distance to the village.

The momentary hesitation unnerved me. Sasuke never hesitates.

"It looks retarded. And cheap." The jerkhole glared at my cherished possession. He really is heartless, isn't he? . . . But seriously, since when did Sasuke care about what jewelry I wore?

"And the black string holding it together. It's so weak. I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off yet."

The hell with this dude!? He's criticizing the string? I think he might be a little more sleep-deprived than I am after all.

"And you care why!?" I, as quietly as I could, bawled, completely astonished. Sasuke wasn't acting like Sasuke. And that's just wrong.

I virtually jumped ten feet into the air when he lashed out at my necklace. He was at grabbing point when I clutched his wrist brutally.

I glared back at him. "Don't touch it."

"Why don't you have a chain or something. It's such a girly necklace. You probably let her kiss you goodnight too. You're such a fucking pushover Naruto!"

I gaped at him. He had never said such mean things to me. Especially when he was being serious.

You know, it's a known fact that men happen to have difficulty dealing with hurt and sadness, so they turn most of it into an emotion they know good and well. Rage.

"The fuck! How am I a pushover! Just because a girl gave me a necklace and cares for me, I'm automatically a pushover!? Fuck you, Uchiha! You don't understand what it feels like to watch other children and their mothers sharing meals and giving hugs and kisses and never knowing how it actually feels. You always say I don't understand, but guess what? You don't understand shit either!"

Sasuke's facial expression clung to veneration.

I stared at him, for the first time in a long while, my face not holding a single emotion. It's like all that anger was waiting for years to spill out. Not intentionally on Sasuke of course. He just happened to be the perfect asshole to open the bolted door.

I was secretly racking my brain for my next move (caught between making a run for it and knocking him senseless just to relieve some anger. I think I might need anger management. I've been around Sasuke way too much.)

My emotionless façade twisted into relative fear when he pulled at my wrist.

I was fully planning to die at that moment. I felt lucky Kakashi had forced me into making a will a far long time ago.

But . . . he didn't kill me . . .

He kissed me.

I sat stark still as my body was rammed forward into his, and our lips met roughly.

I didn't know what to do. Push him away and run or push him away and beat him senseless . . . What the fuck? Is there ever any other options?

I hear a part of my mind saying, Just go along with it, see what happens.

I know what's going to happen and I'm pretty sure I'm Xing that alternative out . . . I guess.

Apparently it doesn't matter what I choose to do, because my body already decided it was going to join in. I was already switched from my position on the branch to his. My back was thrusted harshly against the bark. My hands were roaming all over his body: my left in his sweaty hair and my right going up and down his back. My lips . . . my lips were doing somethin'; I don't know what, to his. It was just really intense. I felt the skin on my back take scratches that my body seemed to not notice in the least.

I think my head has one brain and my body, another because I don't recall choosing this way out of the situation . . . considering I'm not out

I don't . . . Ugh. When was my jacket removed? I can't . . . remember . . . anything . . .

I can't even think straight. His hand on my burning stomach . . . It's . . . It . . .

It feels really good.

The sooner I admitted to this, the sooner stuff started coming back into focus.

My net tee was also long gone. (That explains the scratches.)

He was suckling at my . . . earlobe? The hell was he there for– . . . rah . . . (2)

I (almost can't) hear myself moan as my lobe is stringently tugged by his teeth.

My eyes are closed, so I don't see his reaction when my lower body grinds up against his impulsively.

I did hear him moan though. A long moan.

I practically felt it as his lips latched onto my neck once more. My neck craned, inviting his licking and sucking. I couldn't help it. I just . . . went along with it as if . . . as if this was a normal thing between us.

Will it be?

I gasp as he bites at a particularly sensitive spot on the right side of my neck. The spot reddens; probably just as embarrassed as I am when I finally realize where we were doing this. Apparently, Sasuke didn't care as much as I did that Kakashi (or Sai -shudder-) or a random enemy nin could come by any time.

But . . . it's so–so hard t-to concentrate . . . when he, he is . . . su-sucking there! FUCK!

I hadn't noticed before just how hard I was panting. I was sweating like crazy too. The stupid bastard . . . If he thinks I'm just gonna give into him, he's dead wrong. I'm not some bitch desperate for a fuck. I'll show him. Uzumaki Naruto is NOT a pushover!

I break from my hazy daze to find him holding my neck with one hand, the other fiddling with my pant line, as if debating over going in or not. Jerk, who said it was your decision?

As if in a trance; gradually I lifted my hand to his behind my damp neck. I squeeze it, in order to draw his attention in a way not requiring talking. I was too weak and exhausted for that. I felt as if my throat had closed up ages ago.

I looked down at him, his head of dark hair almost incapable of being deciphered from the blackened night. His pale face came into view as he looked back up at me, tearing his lips from my throbbing stomach.

He seemed taken aback as I lifted his body up and pressured it against mine. I joined our lips in a swift movement, my hands steadying his head where they lay around his flustered cheeks. I kissed him passionately–a lot more passionately than I originally intentioned.

I felt myself really getting into it as my arms wrapped around his neck. I didn't understand why he was so willing. Doesn't he want to be a dominant ass like he usually is? I set to figure this out and tugged up his shirt. The blue fabric was removed candidly when he lifted his arms, prodding me to chuck away the suffocating piece of clothing.

I was thoroughly confused. Did he really want to do this; no hurtful intentions behind it?

I didn't have the time to answer my own questions. My body was again switched from its position. I was on the other side now. He slowly inched my body down to the branch. His sticky upper body was pressed against mine. He grabbed clots of my hair into his hands, trying to push as deep into my body as he could. His tongue in my mouth obviously wasn't enough to satisfy the bastard. What am I, chocolate? Once you have a taste you just have to have the rest!? No, I feel more like a possession. An edible possession. His edible possession.

I scowled. I don't belong to anyone.

My mind (the one in charge of my head, not my body) willed me to force him away. But I couldn't . . . It just felt so . . . so right for us to be doing this. Like it should have happened a long time ago. So . . . I didn't. Instead, my hands clawed at his back, begging for more of him, begging for his body to combine with mine.

I didn't realize until just now how badly I wanted him.

I moaned into his mouth. My head felt light. My everything felt light.

His smell . . . one pertaining of sweat and lilac . . . intoxicated me. I felt as if I was floating in it. Breathing it in as my only oxygen source.

I strived on it.

The mind numbing sensation surged through me. I felt like I was going to drift away, it was so overwhelming. I latched my legs around his lower back, my hands clutching his back for dear life. I need more of it. His essence was like a drug. I wanted more. I wanted it all.

"I want you," I breathed.

My voice sounded raspy, but not as raspy as our intertwined breathing. We looked into each others eyes, our lungs groping frantically for air. I once again found myself trapped. That fuckin' rabbit just won't learn his lesson.

I searched them. I searched anywhere and everywhere for an ulterior motive. This just wasn't Sasuke. I didn't understand.

Ha, maybe he was right all along. I was clueless. All the years I've known him and I still can't read his mind.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, not bothering to waste energy on hiding the cautious edge to my voice.

Well, it appeared cautious.

It was more like nervous. But he doesn't need to know that.

The one thing I did notice was the unnatural gleam to his eyes. They were usually so empty, full of scorn and hatred. Not now. Now they appeared lost, maybe seeking out the answer to my question. Maybe he was just as clueless as I was.

I yearned to help him. It's practically my job. Sasuke says jumps, I ask 'how high?' Pfft, perhaps I'm more of a pushover than I once thought.

I can't help it. Sasuke has that effect on me. Always has.

God DAMN, our relationship is confusing.

"I'm thinking," he starts, his voice low, as if readying himself to hide away a part of his sentence. "I'm thinking I want you too."

He muffled it, so muffled it was impossible for the human ear to catch it. But luckily, part of me isn't so human.

I had improved dramatically over the years as a ninja. My senses grew sharper and I learned when and when not to be the loud, obnoxious doof I was born to be.

I also learned how to really use Kyuubi to my advantage. It was almost frightening when I started to see things a lot faster and hear things a lot easier. It was as if Kyuubi's senses meshed with my own. (When it first came to observation, I had been seeing red for a whole week.) I don't have to worry about him escaping anymore. He still complains, of course, but that's expected. We're a joined team. No longer 'demon and demon casket'. Just Naruto. People are still cruel. That's a given. Old habits die hard, I know. But you grow used to the disgusted looks and the hateful words. It doesn't matter so much now that I have people who care for me. Those other people don't matter. I would be Hokage one day, anyway. Then they'll see what I can do and that I'm not Kyuubi. I'm just Naruto.

He understands that. So that's really all that counts at the moment.

I don't think he knew I heard him, so when I kissed his mouth gently, again taking in his head-spinning toxin, I said, "Does that mean you acknowledge me?"

The answer was a given, but I can't put into words the feeling I get when he clarifies it for me. And that cheesy love-dribble proves it.

"Of course, moron. Stop asking me stupid questions."

I laughed. After all that's done, Sasuke is still Sasuke. Kinda.

He kissed softly at my neck. I sighed, extremely content. I was pretty phlegmatic to my surroundings at the moment; letting my senses dull mutely to the warm feeling of the boy above me.

. . . But I'm not stupid.

"You can come out now, Kakashi-sensei."

Sasuke probably knew along with me he was there for a while. Uchihas have extremely acute senses. They practically live on wariness.

But I don't think he cared. He continued to suckle down my toned body.

A silhouette in the dark of a distorted jounin popped up in smoke on a branch not far from us. Even his dark, mysterious mask and the dead of night couldn't hide the pout on his face. "Way to spoil my fun."

I looked over to him. My eyes were glazed over to the point where they looked grey rather than blue. All I made out of him was the outline of a man not much taller than me. "You're sick, you know that? This goes beyond psycho stalker-crazy." (3)

I glared. My best friend . . . boyfriend . . . lover? . . . whatever he is continued to ignore the Peeping Tom. He was currently nibbling at my abdomen. He nudged down the front of my pants.

I averted my glare to him and slapped away his hand from the elastic.

The avid Uchiha glared back, trying unsuccessfully to bury his pout. It was unbelievably cute on him. I almost let him take me after all 'cause of that angry, kicked puppy look he wore.

I looked back to Perverted Teacher of the Year to see him back to concentrating on the tiny book that gave him that award in the first place.

"Will you please leave?" Mr. Impatient growled, hugging my waist tightly.

He raised his lids into an arched smile. "Alright, alright. No need to get testy."

We were about to go back to ignoring the inanely sadistic teacher when he said (before running off with a gleeful giggle–you can easily see where the psycho part comes in–), "I had Sai draw a few cute pictures of the scene anyway. Memories must be held, children!"

I gulped. I looked, very slowly, down at Sasuke. His grip tightened tenfold as a fiery Sharningan was activated. "Sai."

I frantically tried to think up a plan before he set off to hunt down his prey. I was too late.

I sighed then loosely shrugged, resting my arms behind my head. Said would be fine . . . in a few months.

I smiled. I could be the uncaring bastard just this once.

(1) Okaaay I KNOW this ain't a word. But it fits with the sentence and I couldn't think of anything else so just fuckin deal with it.

(2) Just incase you didn't get this..think about how he would say it. "for– (break, deep breath, breath out) –ah..."

(3) Hehehe LINE FROM CHARMED! All-time best show ever bitches. Phoebe+Cole:Love dude.

I guess a little comedy doesn't hurt. Lightens things up.

As you can see, this story was mostly based on naruto and what goes on in his mind. I love the perspective I did for this. I didn't do it as if he was telling the reader a story, but as if he was living it in that moment. It may appear in past tense, but that's just the way he's explaining it. No author-perspective in this. I adore this POV man.

Uhhh I have a favor to ask. Is there anyone out there that can be my beta? I'm getting really busy now that finals are coming up and I was lucky I even had that late-night epiphany. (It happens when you go from being glued to YouTube sasunaru videos straight into bed.) It would help me out a bunch. Email or let me know in a review. Tank yoo.

Thanks for reading x3

Love,

xxDEAD