Sirius Black: Mary-Sue Hunter
Sirius Black had been fifteen when he met Destiny Night.
He had sensed something in the ever-present sparkle in her haunted-yet-beautiful amethyst gaze; the way she swayed her hips when she walked without being at all slutty; the way she was simultaneously misunderstood and adored by everyone. Even James was enraptured, despite the fact that he had been clearly established to be in love with Lily.
Sirius had been watching her in awe one day, as had everyone (because she was the most important thing going on, despite the torture and bloody murder going on every other week). Destiny's hair had been rippling like gentle waves of raven-with-naturally-crimson-streaks-and-purple-tips...
Then it hit him.
"I'M THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE WHOSE HAIR CAN RIPPLE!"
And he had promptly blown her up, because he can do that.
Now, twenty years later, the Mary Sues were rallying their forces again...
And this time, they're more unbelievable than ever.
... TO BE CONTINUED!