It is I the great Kellinsky to tell you another tale of passionate love and totally gross ways of expressing it. Today we have a story more on the anime side and less on the real-person side but that's okay because anime is good its very easy to draw your favourite characters without a shirt on. In this story we will be using characters from that swimming anime, so they'll already have there shirts off but thats a-okay with me. I want to dedicate this story to the people who've read my other 'impale' and 'gollum' stories from various countries that don't have english as their prominent language, I think you've surprised us both with your literary interests. This story is also dedicated to the kids I see around the place that will look at me when I say I'm gonna write a fan fiction and not try to bury me. This one goes out to (in alphabetical order since I don't have favourites) Devon, Lily, Madeleine, Mike (don't actually know him but he's a good guy in my books), and Xiaoning. *slam dunks* LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ACT 1: THE CONSTRUCT AND A DEATH IN THE FAMILY

At Iwatobi everyone leads a very privileged life, with it being in the idealistic world of Anime Japan with their sparkly eyes, friendly pets and steamy food it's to be expected. The school council, upon recognising the reality of the multiverse theory Goku told them about, found out about other universes that weren't so Anime and realised how horrible they were. They then decided that it was their god-given duty to help those in need as we're all in this together as the Wildcats would say. Their students were encouraged to take part in voluntary service during the summer to give back to the universe after being blessed with being born into the animeverse.

So Iwatobi, with the help of the NERV corporation, began the construction of a new complex that'd help their students transport themselves into the universe that we, as weeaboos and otakus alike, call home. Once here in our crapshack, they would do what they could to make everyday people's lives seem like a dream. A remarkable example of this is The Reality Keeper who writes biographical stories of real events that have occurred in different universes, this 'fan fiction' being one of them. Iwatobi's portal to the fuglyverse was to be dubbed as 'The Trail of Disappointment'.

Waft

Do you smell that? That's the smell of adventure.

Mr. Rei, because of his appreciation for beauty and because he's a fucking poindexter, was in charge of the construction of this portal and couldn't stress enough to the committee that he wanted it to be quote-unquote 'fucking en pointe'. Luckily for him, the committee completely followed his vision as the committee was just Jimmy Neutron.

'Gotta blast!' He'd say in agreement. The kid was such a joker aha ha ha.

Now that Mr. Rei was in charge of the architecture that surrounded the animeverse's largest scientific construction to date, he was allowed 2 hours off each school day to do more business-y stuff like look at paper and nod at it and write his name on it and to frequently push his glasses up the bridge of his nose throughout the day. He hired Nagisa as his pretend-assistant/secretary and, upon request, gave him a piece of cardboard to use as a pretend business clipboard to look professional. Rei had a real assistant, but he usually got Nagisa to tell this real assistant what to do as Nagisa was CONSTANTLY with Rei and would be at his heels whenever a thought came to his mind. This time, it was a conceptualisation of how to make the The Trail of Disappointment more beautiful. Rei had just left his last period to begin his 2 hour shift at the construction site's office area when he looked over at a puddle on the ground. He saw his face and realised how beautiful he was. Nagisa suddenly plopped down beside Rei like a magnetic ball and burst Rei's thought bubble.

'Bonjourno Mr. Rei, looking as ravishing as ever' Nagisa greeted in his signature leather voice. Nagisa ripped off Rei's shirt and twizzled his nipples, being Nagisa's own nipples. Nagisa wasn't wearing a shirt either. This was how they started a day's work at the office, oiled up and ready to go. Rei sighed and nonchalantly cover his nips in an attempt to cover his internal arousal. Rei could feel himself sweating on the inside.

They made their way into the office space, which was a caravan on the sports oval, and set to work on their work as you'd expect.

'Nagisa.'

'What bitch.'

'I know how to make the building more beautiful and I want you to tell my assistant to do exactly as I say.'

'Okay that's nice and I'll go tell her that now.'

'No wait I need to tell you first. I want to get some sculptors onto a new project.' Rei clasped his hands together, hunching over his desk as he looked at a picture of him and his dad, Dorothy the dinosaur, before him. 'I want them to have a cast of my face to enlarge and to warp into the proportions needed to wrap around the Trail of Dissapointment.'

'Oh my god.'

'What?' Rei looked around to see Nagisa, as usual, pressing his sheet of cardboard to his chest and chewing on a pen's tip. He spat the pen out onto the ground and said,

'You're a fucking idiot Rei what the fuck idea is that?'

'B-But it'

'Get the fuck out of here Rei.'

'How dare you! Nagisa you're my pretend secretary! Is this cuz I didn't get you that silk scarf?'

'REI IM FIRING YOU!' Nagisa declared, looking up at Rei as he shot up to stand over Nagisa.

'HOW DARE YOU! NAGISA YOU'RE MY SECRETARY! IS THIS CUZ I DIDN'T GET YOU THAT SILK SCARF?!'

'REI I'M FIRING YOU!'

'HOW DARE YOU! NAGISA YOU'RE MY SECRETARY! IS THIS CUZ I DIDN'T GET YOU THAT SILK SCARF?!'

Nagisa pulled a gun out from behind him and shoved it in his mouth, eyes balling with tears 'I'LL FUCKING SHOOT IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE REI.'

'WHAT THE FUCK NAGISA.'

'I'LL FUCKING SHOOT DO YOU WANNA GO!?' Nagisa released the gun from his oral cage and fired shots into the roof. Veins were throbbing on his temples, he crunched down on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop himself from crying. Rei, bursting into tears, ran out of the caravan. Nagisa stood at the door and shot Rei. Rei died holy shit.

It turns out that since Rei was always getting Nagisa to order his assistant around, everyone on the worksite had assumed that Nagisa was in charge and Rei was just his squeeze that'd brighten his drudgingly work-filled corporate fatneko life days. Modern fairytale, I know. Nagisa had gotten it into his head that since he'd already had the whole system convinced he was in charge, not Rei, that all he had to do was get rid of any papers or people that'd stop him from actually being in charge. Nagisa actually thought the idea of Rei's face being smudged across the 5 story building to be a beautiful idea, but he knew that today was the day he'd take down the obstacle that was getting in his way of being the portal's overlord. He could send his evil army of penguins to attack the fuglyverse and make it his own, after the rest of Iwatobi made that universe more aesthetically pleasing with their anime powers so he wouldn't rule some crapshack.

Nagisa slowly lowered his gun as rain began to fall. He knew the body had to be buried, but he wanted Rei to have a proper burial too. He couldn't let Rei pass on in a way that wasn't beautiful. Nagisa called his 'new' assistant and asked her to tell the news channels that Rei got run over by a car.

TO BE CONTINUED IN...

ACT 2: THE PROGRESSION OF HEARTS AND SOULS