I'm not Stephenie Meyer, just playing with her imaginary friends again.
Bella's Nightmare
Alice came down the stairs from Edward's bedroom after we all heard Bella throw a fit over the new bed now standing in Edward's room.
"Well, she's getting ready for bed now, she should be there soon," she announced to Rosalie and I.
"Esme?" asked Rosalie in a quiet voice.
"Yes."
"I've been thinking...do you think I should share my story with Bella? I talked with Edward and he's okay with it, but I keep going over and over in my head if I should."
"I don't see where it could hurt. It might, at the very least, let Bella know you don't hate her. She might see where you're coming from."
"You're probably right. I just hope I don't scare her, my story really doesn't have a happy ending."
"Which of ours does, dear?" I asked sympathetically.
"Right," she sighed.
Rosalie flashed upstairs before Bella had a chance to fall into a deep sleep. She lightly knocked on Edward's door. Alice muted the TV. We were anxious to hear how Bella would take this news. We had all waited for Bella to run from Edward and us ages ago after hearing our stories. But she kept coming back. She cared for him like he cared for her. Edward deserved happiness and as he never saw himself clearly he thought he deserved no one. As his mother of sorts I only wanted and needed to see him happy. Bella streaked across his starless night over a year ago and I watched as his life changed. Bella was truly the best thing to have happened to him. She fought to save him from himself in Volterra. She sacrificed herself for him, no matter the outcome. I admired her strength as I knew all my family did. We often remarked that, though, we were indestructible, she had more strength than anyone we knew.
As Vampires we don't change, we are who we are when we change into this stone form. I knew Edward's life had altered into something better that day he saved her from the van. Instinctively I knew before that even, but that action solidified it for me.
Bella was my "daughter" now as well. Humans don't alter internally as vampires do, however Bella was different than any other human we had ever encountered. She couldn't live without him as he couldn't live without her. I had heard bits and pieces around town about how hard Bella had taken our leaving. My stubborn son was trying to push his selfishness onto his selfless mate. Bella being the selfless person that she is, she let him go. What pained the most is that even though I only heard about how hard Bella took our leaving, I knew Edward was seeing these images in others' minds. I knew he was pained by these. We all regret his leaving. I was glad we were back. Being away from our mates for any length of time is hard. Just being away from Carlisle while he's working is unsettling. I couldn't imagine being away from him for months. And I watched Edward suffer for what he thought was right; I knew I would have suffered the same way.
"What Alice?" we heard Bella hiss. I looked furtively at Alice. She just shrugged her shoulders.
"It's me. Can I come in?" Rosalie asked her quietly.
Alice and I held our breath as we waited for the story to unfold. It still made us shudder when we heard Rosalie's attack from her fiance'.
"Of course, come in," Bella told her in a higher pitched voice than normal. We heard her shift her weight to the end of the...couch? Why was she on the couch? Edward and Alice had picked out the perfect bed to complement his room so she would be comfortable to stay here.
"Do you mind talking to me for a few minutes? I didn't wake you or anything, did I?" Rosalie asked in the most gentle voice I'd ever heard her use with Bella.
"No, I was awake. Sure we can talk."
Rosalie laughed nervously; I knew this was going to be hard for her to tell Bella her story. "He so rarely leaves you alone, I figured I'd better make the best of this opportunity."
"Please don't think I'm horribly interfering, I'm sure I've hurt your feelings enough in the past, and I don't want to do that again."
For Rosalie, this was an apology. Probably the most sincerest one yet where Bella was involved.
"Don't worry about it, Rosalie. My feelings are great. What is it?" Bella asked. As always, the most selfless person I think I have ever met. She could forgive anyone of anything. I hoped Rosalie appreciated this.
Rosalie laughed, nervously again. "I'm going to try to tell you why I think you should stay human – why I would stay human if I were you."
"Oh," Bella responded, she sounded shocked.
"Did Edward ever tell you what led to this?" Rosalie was leading into her heart wrenching story. Alice was on the edge of her seat. We knew this story, Bella did not. But for Rosalie to share this story with someone on the outside spoke volumes of how she felt about Bella. She was starting to accept her as family; as her sister.
"He said it was close to what happened to me that time in Port Angeles, only no one was there to save you."
Rosalie gasped, "Is that really all he told you?"
"Yes. Was there more?" Oh Bella, so, so, so much more.
"Yes. There was more." Rosalie said quietly.
Alice and I braced ourselves for the story. It was starting. We smiled at the thought of Rosalie as a human with the world at her feet, as she explained to Bella about her selfish desires. Not just hers but her family's as well. And it's really no wonder that Rosalie is as selfish as she is, her family taught her to be self centered and vain.
As Rosalie went on her voice dropped lower, as did Bella's breathing. I was starting to get concerned that she was going to faint as the story progressed. But what I knew of Bella, she would take this in stride as well. Alice and I hissed silently as we heard of Rosalie's virtue being stolen from her. Rosalie had edited for Bella's sake, and for that I was grateful. That pain didn't need to be relived by anyone.
Rosalie's story was nearing the end as she talked of Carlisle changing her and explaining to her what he was and what she was becoming. I heard Bella stop breathing for a millisecond as she heard of Rosalie's revenge.
"I'm sorry. I'm frightening you, aren't I?" Rosalie asked Bella. She had noticed the lack of breath from Bella as well.
"I'm fine," Bella lied. She really was a terrible liar.
"I got carried away."
"Don't worry about it."
"I'm surprised Edward didn't tell you more about it." I wasn't, Edward was ever the gentleman.
"He doesn't like to tell other people's stories – he feels like he's betraying confidences, because he hears so much more than just the parts they mean for him to hear," Bella surmised. She was good. She put into words what I had always known. I was glad she told this Rosalie, I don't think she had ever thought of that before.
"I probably ought to give him more credit. He's really quite decent, isn't he?" Rosalie asked incredulously.
Yes, Rosalie, he's not the jerk you think he is.
"I think so."
Ah, Bella, you deserve Edward, as he deserves you. "I love you, sweetheart," I said out loud. Alice smiled and nodded at me. She loved Bella too, just like she told Edward she would.
I smiled as Rosalie once again showed her vanity of herself, her jealousy of Bella and then cringed as she shared the story of Tanya in Alaska. Where Edward doesn't share everything, Rosalie does. She wasn't born with a filter, or rather; her mental filter had holes in it. This was something that should not have been told. Bella had self esteem issues, I could tell, this was not going to help her, and Edward was now going to have redouble his efforts in helping her see herself again.
"Not that you aren't pretty, Bella, but it just meant that found you more attractive than me. I'm vain enough that I minded," Rosalie admitted.
"But you said 'at first'? That doesn't still...bother you, does it? I mean, we both know you're the most beautiful person on the planet," Bella chuckled as she said this, as did Alice and I. We all knew that Rosalie liked to hear flattery. She reminded me of the popular Aesop fable about the crow with the cheese in his mouth.
Rosalie laughed, too, "Thanks, Bella. And no, it doesn't really bother me anymore. Edward has always been a little strange."
Why would she say that? That Edward can't be normal to fall in love with a human? Ugh, Rosalie, my daughter, you need those holes in your filter patched.
"But you still don't like me?" Bella whispered.
It broke my heart to hear those words from Bella's mouth. I knew she hit the nail on the head. Rosalie loved her a little, only because her brother loved her, but she didn't like that she was giving up everything human to be like us. As she explained her reasoning to Bella her voice was getting higher and more alarming. She stopped herself. "And I was so sure I could do this calmly. It's just that it's harder now than it was then, when it was no more than vanity," Rosalie tried to justify her reaction.
It was quiet for a minute, then Bella spoke up, "Would you like me better if I chose to stay human?" Selfless Bella was trying to appease the vain one.
"Maybe," Rosalie said with a slight smile in her voice.
Bella reminded Rosalie of her Emmett. Alice and I both smiled, even though Rosalie picked him for those gorgeous curls and dimples, he really was a good fit for her. He balanced out her tenacity. He was playful while she was serious all the time. She really couldn't have picked a better mate if wanted to. Yin and Yang defined them perfectly.
Rosalie was pleading her case with Bella one more time, just to make sure she understood where she was coming from.
"Thanks, Rosalie. It's nice to understand... to know you better."
"I apologize for being such a monster, I'll try to behave myself from now on," Rosalie vowed teasingly. This was good for her. Bella didn't realize what she had done to all of us.
"I'll let you sleep now." She paused before continuing, "I know you're frustrated that he's keeping you locked up like this, but don't give him too bad a time when he gets back. He loves you more than you know. It terrifies him to be away from you," Rosalie explained. I was glad she said that, too. Bella needed to hear that. But I'm sure Bella was terrified to be away from her heart as well. "Goodnight, Bella."
"Goodnight, Rosalie," Bella mumbled after Rosalie was already down the stairs.
"Rose, you did good," I told her. She had explained her story, pleaded her case, on Edward's behalf and made amends with Bella all in the course of twenty minutes. For her, that was speaking volumes.
"Did you know she's not sleeping in the bed?" Rosalie asked with a shock.
"I kind of thought so when I heard her slide on the couch to let you sit," I responded.
Alice had been quiet during retelling of Rosalie's story, but she let us know that she saw this happening even before the bed was bought. "I've been blocking it from Edward. I didn't need his feelings hurt. You don't know the argument that would have ensued between our two favorite stubborn people." Rosalie, Bella's still sure of her course as well. I still the same path she's chosen."
"I figured as much, but I'm still glad I could share my story with her. She needs to know us, if she's going to join us."
Some days I was really glad we had a fortune telling physic in our midst. We heard Bella toss and turn for an hour before she finally settled down. I peeked in on her once after that to see for myself. She was knotted in the gold comforter, hair askew across her pillow and she looked like she was not going to sleep peacefully that night. Edward told me in confidence that she talked in her sleep and sometimes she had nightmares. I hoped that after Rosalie's sad tale she would sleep peacefully. I reached over to smooth her hair. I kissed her forehead and wished her sweet dreams.
I ghosted back down the stairs. My daughters were on their computer coming up with new fashion designs for Bella. I pulled out some blueprints I had of the cottage in the woods. I knew it would be a matter of time before Edward and Bella got married, I wanted this for them. They needed a place of their own and Bella was such an uncomplicated being that she would appreciate its charm.
"No, don't..." I froze. Who said that? Alice and Rosalie ran to my side.
"It's Bella, she's having a nightmare," said Alice, calmly.
"I probably shouldn't have told her that story right before bed, huh?" Rosalie asked.
"Should I go and comfort her?" I asked them. I knew Edward was the one who was there for her when she did wake up with bad dreams. Would I scare her to be in his place? What was she scared of in this nightmare? Was it the truth of what we were? Was it the story Rosalie shared?
"No, I think that would scare her more. Let's go back to what we were doing and see what happens," Alice advised.
"No! Rosalie! Don't do that to her!"
Rosalie looked at me with fear in her eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't have told her that this late at night?"
"It's too late now, sweetheart," though I wish we could have taken those words back as well.
"Call Edward," Rosalie said, frantically.
"No, that would make him cut his trip short and he needs to feed. If he doesn't he'll hurt Bella. Besides, his phone is off and Carlisle took his phone away," Alice said. We knew she was right; we had all plotted to make sure he would stay on this trip. He hadn't fed in so long that Bella would be in danger. And we couldn't call any of the other boys as Edward would be alarmed and insist on coming home. We listened up the stairs while we were having this discussion. The most painful scream came from Bella. Then, it stopped abruptly, followed by a loud breathing and panting. We looked at each other, eyes full of questions. How do we handle this? Should we comfort her? Do we do nothing?
"Nothing," Alice told us. "If she were at home, she would be doing this, too."
"Doesn't Charlie check on her?" I asked.
"Not anymore, he's used to the screams," Alice said, matter of factly.
"Used to the screams...what does that mean? She's done this before?"
"While were gone, I saw it, almost every night she would wake up with the same painful screams while having a nightmare."
This I didn't know. What had Edward done to her? I was never more grateful than now to be back. He really had altered Bella, and I wasn't sure she wasn't meant for this life.
The rest of the night we heard Bella toss and turn and occasionally mutter more words. I knew she did not sleep peacefully and that she was not going to have a good day at school. I considered calling the school telling them that she was sick, but that would tip Charlie off, Edward was already walking a fine line with him. I didn't need Edward completely banned from Bella's house. So I painfully made the choice to let her suffer through the day. That morning I watched as she sat at our table and methodically ate a bowl of cereal, insisting she didn't want or need anything else.