Come Back to Me
Chapter One
Zebraboymom
Disclaimer: Not mine. Sigh…
Author Notes: Nine months have passed since Elliot left and Liv is sick and tired of waiting to hear from him. When she takes matters into her own hands, she is shocked by what she finds.
Olivia sat at her desk filling out paperwork. She shook her head as she watched the two new detectives square off at each other again. They reminded her so much of herself and Elliot in the early days. Nick was a lot like Elliot. He was so protective of Rollins. He had almost screwed up the case today when he started punching out the perp that attacked her in the park while she was undercover. That had lead to a screaming match in front of half the squad. Amanda was pig headed like her and so sure she could handle herself no matter what. She wanted to prove that she could handle anything they threw at her. Just like Olivia would she pushed Nick away.
She sat at her desk after everyone left for a bar to celebrate the case. Her eyes strayed across to the desk facing her and she tried to remember Elliot's face looking at her with those piercing blue eyes. She realized for the first time that she was starting to forget what he looked like. She looked down at the picture of the two of them that sat on her desk. He had his arm around her and they were smiling at each other instead of the camera. She loved that picture. You could see how close they were. Back then nothing could separate them. They had each other's back. Her eyes started to fill up and she swiped at them.
It had been nine months and nothing! He just cut her out of his life like the rest of SVU. She always knew he had mattered more to her than she had to him, but even ex-partners got together for drinks once in awhile. What a jerk! After everything they had been through together, he couldn't take five minutes and just give her a call? Well, she was fed up and she was going to give him a piece of her mind whether he liked it or not. She grabbed her purse and headed to her parking garage.
She pulled up in front of Elliot's house 45 minutes later and sat in the car trying to gather her courage. She probably would have turned around and taken her car back to the garage, but she was just so angry. She knocked loudly on the front door and was surprised when a tall man answered the door.
"Uh. Hi. Is Elliot here?"
"The man just stood and stared at her before he yelled into the house."
"Kath, can you come to the door, Honey?"
Who was this guy and why was he calling Kathy Honey?
"Olivia? What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Elliot?"
Now it was Liv's turn to be confused.
"Kathy who is this guy and why would I know where Elliot is?"
"This is Adam and he's my…uh…we're dating. Liv, Elliot and I divorced 6 months ago, right after his mother died."
"Bernie's dead?"
"You don't know any of this?"
"Kathy, I haven't seen El since the day he left the unit. I came here because I wanted to know why he didn't want to talk to me. I need some answers and some closure."
"But I thought he ran to you. All those nights when he didn't come home after the shooting I was sure he was with you. After the divorce I thought he'd run straight into your arms…I guess I was wrong."
"Where is he Kathy?"
"How would I know? He hasn't picked Eli up on his visitation days for over two months and he's pretty upset his daddy doesn't seem to want him."
The two women stood and stared at each other awkwardly. Suddenly Kathy perked up.
"His mom left him her beach house. Maybe he's there. If not, he has an apartment not far from the precinct. Wait here."
Kathy returned with a pair of keys.
"These will get you into both even if he won't let you in. You know how stubborn he can be. I hope he'll listen to you Olivia. I tried and tried to talk to him, but he went some place dark after it happened. It's ironic really that just when I was going to finally have him, I wasn't what he wanted or needed."
A tear slipped down her cheek and Liv couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman. Elliot had been absent from her life for too long.
"Thanks Kathy. Thanks so much. I'm sorry it went like this."
"If anyone can reach him Liv, I know it's you. Tell him his son loves and misses him."
"I will."
Liv stumbled back to her car in tears and in shock. This was not what she had expected to find at all. She sat in her car and called Cragen's cell number.
"Liv, what's up?"
"Remember when you told me I could take some leave time if I needed it?"
"I do."
"Does that still stand?"
"Of course it does. How much time do you need?"
"I don't know. I think I'd like to take at least three weeks off and maybe more."
"That's fine Liv. Just take care of yourself."
"I will Cap and thanks."
"Liv, I've been waiting for you to realize you needed to do this. Take all the time you need."
"Goodnight."
Liv sat in her car after she hung up the phone. She was scared. Where was Elliot? She drove to his apartment. She was surprised to find out he kept the apartment he lived in when he and Kathy were separated. She took the three flights of stairs quickly and knocked loudly on the door.
Nothing.
She knocked three more times before she used the key.
"Elliot? Elliot. It's Liv."
It only took a few minutes and a pass through all the rooms to see he wasn't there and hadn't been for some time. The fridge was as empty as hers at home and Elliot always had food around. As she retraced her steps to her car she prayed that Elliot was at the beach house. Her mind was filled with images of him eating his gun. There was no way in her mind that he would go this long without seeing Eli. At least the Elliot she knew would never do that. She sped back to her apartment to grab some things.
Liv quickly packed a suitcase with clothes for the beach and headed out to her car. She had never done anything this impulsive in her life, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Elliot needed her.
It was a long drive, but it gave Olivia a chance to reflect on the last thirteen plus years of her life. They had been filled with Elliot. He had been the one constant for as long as she could remember. It was so hard for her to figure out what happened. They were close. She remembered a psychologist saying once that some partners were closer than married people. That had been true for them. They could read each other like a book. Even during stressful times they knew when the other one needed to blow off steam or be alone. Liv remembered all the times she had opened up to Elliot about her life and how few times he had really done that with her. He always tried to handle things on his own and then the emotions would come bubbling to the surface in ways that hurt other people. She could picture how the divorce happened. She knew what killing a kid would do to him.
It was late. It had to be past midnight when she pulled into the sleepy little coastal town. Once she found Bernie's house, she parked and walked up on the broad porch, looking in windows. It was dark, but no lights were on inside. There wasn't a car parked in the driveway, but the garage door was down, so he could be there. Liv thought about sitting on the porch and waiting. There was a big wooden swing that looked really comfortable, but she decided instead to take a walk on the beach. The ocean would be beautiful in the moonlight. If he was asleep, she could sleep in her car until morning. It had been so long since she got out of the city, like never. She slipped her shoes and socks off and smiled briefly when her bare feet buried themselves in the soft sand. As she rounded the house she stopped dead in her tracks. A lone figure was sitting out on the beach. Even with moonlight being the only source of light, Liv would know that body anywhere. It was Elliot. He was alternating between staring out at the waves and hanging his head. A bottle of beer dangled loosely in his hand.
Liv walked slowly down the beach towards him. She was shaking like a leaf. She hadn't seen him in nine months, but he still made her heart skip a beat. She missed him so much. He became aware of her presence when she got within about three feet of him. She called softly to him.
"Elliot."
"Liv?"