Written for the prompt : Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, "Sometimes anger can help you survive." "So can faith."
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Dean paced back and forth, fists clenching and unclenching at his side, face grim. Castiel stood patiently on the far side of the room, watching, waiting.
He stepped forward grasping at Dean's shoulder to hold him back as the young man clenched his fist and brought his hand up to punch at the wall. Dean swung round, all his anger and distress clear in his eyes as Castiel pulled him closer. "Calm down for me," he whispered.
Dean's fist clenched against Castiel's shirt, the soft material tangling between his fingers. "It's too much, Cas," his voice was quiet, choked with emotion. He let his head drop forward, resting in the crook of Castiel's neck and shoulder, he breathed in deeper as if Castiel's presence was calming him, grounding him. "I – I can't think . . . I can't keep going, Cas."
"You can. You just have to have faith."
Dean pulled away. "Faith! Faith in what exactly, Castiel? The only thing that is keeping me going is anger. I'm angry, fucking angry! Where the hell is God? Why is he letting this happen to everyone? Why doesn't he do something about his fucking angels? They're bastards, all of them!"
"All of them?" Castiel asked quietly. "Do you really mean that, Dean? That all of God's angels are bastards?"
The anger deflated and Dean just looked more broken than ever, Castiel's heart went out to him. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Dean in his arms and protect from the collapsing world around them, but he couldn't stop the chain of events that was playing out anymore than Dean could.
"Not all of them . . . no," Dean said softly, returning to Castiel's embrace. "Not you."
"I wish I could change things for you," Castiel said, feeling as Dean relaxed against him, the anger seeping away for the moment.
"I know. I wish . . . I wish things could be different." Dean began to pull away again, but Castiel held firm. "Everything's falling apart, Cas and I can't believe there's an answer any more. I can't see how we can dig ourselves out of this fucking mess. I can't have faith in your God." There was a moment's pause before he added, "I'm dragging you down with me."
"No, that's not true." Castiel thought for a while, the two of them cherishing the quiet before he spoke again, "I have faith in more than God, Dean. I have faith in you. In all the time I've known you, you have been more than anyone else could be, you have done more for a God you don't believe in than thousands of so called believers. I have faith that you will not stop fighting until the end, whatever that end is."
"And you?"
Castiel smiled, "Have faith that, if nothing else, I will be at your side."
