I screwed all over again...
How many times has it been already? I don't know, kinda lost the count.
Ugh!
Hurts so much. So, so much...
I'm... I! I have been... How long have I been here?
So dark. I'm scared. I'm so scared!
I think... I think I'm losing it.
Hell... It hurts... Hic... It hurts so much... Hic...
I try to scream, but... I have no voice! Why?!
Where am I? W-What...?
... Who am I?
What did I do...? Hic... Help... Help please... I have to get out of here!
"We can't…"
Eh? W-Wha...
"We can't get out. There is no way out. And even if there was, I wouldn't tell you... This is the only place for us...We can't get out…"
... I can't... Why? This is insane! Why can't I go out?! There must b...!
"This is exactly where we should be. This is what has to be... For everyone... Don't you remember? What you did...? What you do...?"
Yeah... I... I think I remember... Just a little, I still can remember…
I... What did I do?! God...! How could I...!
How did this happen?!
"Yes... We can't go out... But at least, it will be over soon. Our last sin... We will pay for it!
And then... You will be nothing more than a sad mistake... Lost forever. And everyone can be happy. You see, everything will be alright... Just play your part for once! For them."
For them... I remember them... Yes, for them, for everyone, I can't go out. I won't go out! I will help you guys... And with that... My wish... will come true...
I feel dizzy... I'm dying?
"No, but you will wish to be. You won't remember anything and, even so, will feel everything. That's what you deserve!"
My eyes hurt... This isn't the first time I cry, is it?
"Your mind comes and goes, trying to fight. Remembering and forgetting constantly... Pathetic, isn't it? Painful, right?"
Haaa... Haaa...
"Still there? Huh huh! Soon it will be over. Well, this part will be, and you will become a broken memory."
...
Guys... Guys, I... I cannot say how sorry I am, but...
With this little bit... I want to make things right.
I... I wish... I still wish that... My... W, will t.. Turn... Into... Happiness...
I... I lov...
...
"Goodbye, Yuzu. You were the part of me that I hated the most."
Better Days
First Chapter: New Ways of Life Again
Morning. Probably a normal one. Well, at least how it has been in the last month.
Nobody new, but so much changed. So much was done for a wish, a feeling, and things got this way. Funny, isn't it? How everything is different, even though it looks the same.
Madoka walked, side by side with Sayaka. Didn't take long for them to become friends. It simply happened, in a natural way. Go figures why.
In her other side was Hitomi, talking something about her piano classes.
They have been walking together to school since a few days after Madoka transferred.
- I was thinking, maybe if I tried to make at least this one important thing, I could create a connection between us... - She said, shyly. - You see, he might pass more time with me and still train. I don't want to be a inconvenient, but...! I just want to be part of his world too. So... What do you think?
- I think is so sweet you trying to support him like that! - Madoka smiled cutely. It was so rare to see Hitomi this insecure and that side of her was so adorable!
- But, don't you think I might be getting too much into his business? Because, it's his music! We all know how much it means to him, and I don't know if I will help or make it harder for him. - Hitomi sight, it had been a hard time for them. Well, no time at all, since she and her boyfriend almost didn't see each other!
- Just ask him. It doesn't matter if he agrees or not, I'm sure Kyosuke will love to know you where thinking so much of him!
- Just make sure to not turn into one of those crazy psicos if he says 'no'! Hehehehe! - Sayaka joked. She liked too to see Hitomi this nervous over her love. Yup, adorable indeed!
- Moooo! I wouldn't do it!
- Juuust saying! A girl in love can be very scary! Like, you see! Those ones that goes in crazy mode and stalks they boyfriends, and then they end up locking up the guy so they would be them alone!
- Sayaka-chan... - Madoka sighed, with a smile of concern. - Have you been watching too much TV with Kyouko-chan again?
Sayaka blinked twice.
- ... Maybe...
"Thought so."
- That damn girl keeps distracting me all the time! It's always TV, videogame, snacks! And she's dragging me into it! And I think I'm getting fat!
- Hahaha! Don't worry! You look great Sayaka-chan!
- Madoka's right. You shouldn't worry about that. By the way, where's she?
Sayaka turns her face, huffing. - Huh! Like I would know!
- Eh? But... Don't you two live together? - Asked Madoka. Kyouko had been living with Sayaka since before she met them. Those two just seems to be always together.
- Yeah, but I'm not her nanny! She can do whatever she wants! It's not my probl-
- SAYAKAAAAA! - There goes a full Kyouko jumping in Sayaka's neck, in her back. Ouch! That must hurt!
- K-Kyouko! The hell you doing?! Ouch!
- Why wouldn't yah wake me up, stupid Sayaka? I almost didn't make it!
Hehehe! Madoka laughed. They were so cute together! - Morning Kyouko-chan!
- Morning Kyouko.
- Yoh, Madoka! Hitomi! - Said making a military compliment. What the? And she was still hanging in Sayaka's neck, legs wrapped around her waist.
- KY-OU-KOOOO! Get out of my back!
- Yeah, yeah. - Said, jumping back to the ground.
- And I tried to wake you up! But you wouldn't move an inch! You are always like that! I almost got late for school yesterday and the day before because I couldn't sleep well, since you keep distracting me!
Kyouko opens a lollipop, putting in her mouth. - Yah say that know, but wasn't it you who was climbing to me with tears over that silly movie? You can be such a pussy, Sayaka.
- W-what did you call me?! And I did not cry!
- Pussy cry baby Sayaka! - Said running to school. Face all smile.
- Wait right there, you little...!
And there goes Sayaka running after her. Again?
- Hehe! Those two are always like this!
- Yes. It's good to have such good friends around. Right, Madoka?
- Uh huh! It is. I'm happy to have so many people that I love near me. I think I'm very lucky, having you and Sayaka and Kyouko, and mommy, daddy and Tatsuya. It's just... - A sad countenance appears in Madoka's face.
- Something wrong, Madoka?
- Eh? Ah! - Remembering she was still with Hitomi, Madoka tries to force a smile. - No no! Everything is alright! Really! - Said waving her hands in denial.
- If you say so... - Hitomi couldn't stop thinking Madoka seemed a little strange today, but it would be better to not pressure her to say anything. - Shall we go? Classes are about to start.
- Sure!
Madoka was starting to run, but then... Hears something. A bell, in a eco not far away.
She stops, looking behind. She was sure it was there that the sound came from. But wha-?
- Madoka! We are gonna be late!
- S-sorry! - Nevermind! Must have been her imagination.
Or... Not.
She couldn't see, of course, but was a bit of concern since she could feel it, somehow. At least it was for Homura.
She was there, sitting, watching as Madoka passed by. As everyone did. There was a cup and a teapot, but she didn't drink it, kept stirring the tea, watching them all, away.
Madoka didn't know, but their eyes met the moment she turned. Coincidence? Hardly. Even though she was a normal girl now, her connection to the entity she once was will never be gone. It was her, after all.
Well, just be sure all the time that Madoka wouldn't have weird thoughts. That she would remain the way she is.
Forever.
- Hi there! Mind if I sit here with you? - Asked a strange voice from behind.
She turned, but the girl was already moving, taking the place in the other side of the table. She felt her presence a few seconds before she talked, but didn't imagine the girl would be able to see her.
She seemed a little older than her. She was blonde, but obviously dyed, her eyes a pretty light green, her skin really white, with pink cheeks. She was wearing a uniform, but it was a different one, of some other school, but she didn't know which.
Homura's expression turned into precaution, staring at the girl with much detail while she sat in such a carefree way, her left feet under her thigh and the right stepping the seat.
- Mind if I drink some? I'm not much into tea though, but I kinda didn't have time to eat breakfast since I wanted to talk to you.
- And you are? - Said cutting the crap by once.
She laughs lightly while serving herself, looking to the teapot. - It kinda disappoints me, you saying that. Well, it can't be helped, right?
- Answer. - Said, this time a little more in a threatening way. Eyes dangerously closed.
She huffed. "Yeah, so much for a calm conversation!" She thought. - I'm Yuzu. Nice to meet you too huh! I just transfered to this school to provide my services to you, but I'm seeing it will be more troublesome than I though. Well...
- I don't know what your intentions are, but I don't need help. - Her flashed, an empty reflection . - I don't need anyone's help.
- Huuu... - Yuzu hummed, resting her head in her hand, while the other brought the tea to her lips. "You surely look great, huh!" - Look, I didn't come here to interfere with what you are or what you did, ok? It's none of my business and if you wanna remain as a depressing psico is your problem.
- Good. Then we have nothing to ta-
- But! - Said, raising a finger. - Shit is gonna happen really soon, and I'm sure you will need a hand if you want to keep your dear Madoka that way too. - She pointing to her back, where Madoka was once.
Homura's eyes glistened, looking directly to hers.
"That caught your attention now, right?" Yuzu smiled, proudly.
- What do you mean by that?
- I mean that you broke a part of the Law of the Cycles. No jugging, but that kinda made a mess in this world. Some... Openings about Witches and other things. It's like... The Law isn't able to handle everything like it should be because of this opening you made in her. In her human side that was connected to this existence once.
- Huh! Is that supposed to make me feel guilty? - She laughed at the idea. Madoka was fine, the Law of Circles, the other part of her, was safe too. This world's irregularities didn't matter.
- Not really. Like I said, it's not my problem. - Took another sip. - Actually, I'm kinda grateful for it, you know? If it wasn't for your doing, I wouldn't be able to be here. That's why I wanna help you. Let's just say I'm paying my debt here!
Homura didn't have to say anything. Her eyes showing that she didn't know what she was talking about. Heh! To yuzu, it was so weird and funny.
- I tell yah about that another time. Right now, - She putted her cup empty in the table. - I think we should talk about business.
Homura stared attently. This girl knew something was gonna happen. Why and what it could be are good questions, but if what she said was true, if Madoka could be affected; which she doubted since she wouldn't leave her side, but wouldn't let a slight chance of fail to remain; then she would leave those matters about the girl for latter.
- You see, the Law of the Circles is supposed to give peace to the ones that fall in despair. But, after you took her human part, she lost a little of her connection to this world, and that was enough to make her not see everything like she used to. It seems that, sometimes, her existence ocillates, she loses track of the motivation that once made her who she is, since it is here, as Madoka. So, in those times, it loses the capacity to see a Magical Girl's suffering, to identify they despair, letting something grow in their souls.
- So, you basically saying that she lost her humanity?
- Not exactly. Humanity itself isn't what keep her, since it is a concept full of errors and corrupt. What I'm saying is that she lost what made her, the center of her wish that turned her into a God. Madoka. And it blinds her to what she is supposed to do, making those problems.
- How would that even be possibly? She is a concept, with no beginning and no end. Madoka, by this logic, shouldn't even exist, so why would she matter to keep the concept itself?
Yuzu snorted.
- You might not want to see it, but you know how! Madoka is a human now, but she is, in reality, a concept. She is part of that God and you took the concept away of her nature, losing track of what she once wished for. You know what you do. You created the irregularities and you don't care. I don't care too, but don't pretend you don't understand! Make a favor to yourself and stop pretending to be stupid, makes you look like a idiotic!
Pretty long time since someone talked to her face like that. The girl wants to lose her head. Oh well. She still need her to update this information about 'irregularities'.
Yuzu saw the threat. Yeah, yeah, get as angry as you want. You still stupid, stupid.
- What kind of irregularities are we talking about? - Homura decided to ignore that. For now.
- Witches shadows. They come and go to this world, since a part of then is not real anymore, but when the Law starts to lose her power, a reflection of what they were, based in what would have been if the Law weren't ever here. But the thing is, since they are not part of this world, they need a support by an existence close to them that is real here. And what, I ask you Homura, is closest to a Witch?
- Huh! Silly question. Magical Girls.
- Right! Magical Girls! Now imagine! A Magical Girl with the power and the rage of a Witch? Nice combination, right?
Yes, it would be really fascinating. Now deal with both a Magical Girl and a Witch with their powers combined. Surely huge irregularities.
- How those Magical Girls don't turn themselves into Witches, been in contact with they despair?
- Like a Witch always do. They kiss them to convince they are doing what is best or that they will become more powerful. Just like you, they enjoy they despair as some sort of power. Some are aware of it, others cannot take it so well, so the Witches hide in the depths of their hearts.
- I see. And you think I would care about that?
- Well, you should.
Homura said nothing, only rose from her seat, preparing to leave.
- Oh, you leaving now? Can't you just hear the rest of my propose?
- I'm tired of hearing so many useless information. I couldn't care less about this world more than I do. If it tears apart, all I hope is that there will be a seat for me to watch. That's all. - She started to walk to school. Leaving the table and Yuzu behind. - As long as Madoka is safe, I see no reason to act, and if it goes far enough to interfere in her life, I will turn those Witches back to the poor and empty existence they once were. So, tell me... - She stops. Turning back. - Why would this matter anything to me.
As Homura talked, Yuzu turned in her seat, sitting with her legs open around the backrest, arms embracing it, now looking directly to her.
- Because... - She started, dangerously grinning. - They will tear her apart.
A silence remained around them. Homura's face gave nothing away. She wouldn't think about that. It wasn't possible as long she was here. She would be fine, as long she was here.
- Like I said... - Yuzu continued. Face more in peace now, but still staring fiercely to Homura. - They are not the same Witches they once were. They had peace, saved by the Law, but now... Now they got lost again, in pain. Looking for that power that once saved them. But the Law of Cycles doesn't exist here, it isn't a existence that can be taken like that. Except...
- Except... - Homura finished. She knew. - For Madoka.
- That's right. You materialized her as a person, that can be touched, damaged, taken. Even though they will never be able to accomplish what they desire by doing this, they will still try to reach that existence. It's their only hope. Which means they will try to take Madoka's essence, tearing her body and soul to reach it.
- If they try, I will be the one destroying those miserable ones... - Those eyes were so empty, but at the same they looked like nothing more than danger. Fury, hate, agony, everything in those eyes that didn't look like human anymore. - They will burn in my hands…!
- Huh! - Admirable, Yuzu had to admit. - Even though you are pretty much strong, still is too much for only you to handle. It won't affect Madoka alone, but her whole world around her. Anyone that ever had contact to her will be in danger. Those Witches can smell her essence, her kindness, her pure soul and everything that was touched by it, the traces. Be by a direct attack or taking her world slowly until reach her, they will come from everywhere. Let's face it! You don't look to this world, you don't care for mostly of the the things that happen! So, how will you see this danger approach faking as nothing?
Homura opened her mouth, obstinate to comply, when Yuzu stopped her.
- You might think you can see anything that is about Madoka, but sometimes it won't be about her before it affects her, and then it will be too late. Even if you try to do more, to see more, I don't think you will be able to.
Homura said nothing, reflecting about it. Yes, didn't care or look to this world beyond Madoka anymore, she don't look with nothing beside indifference.
- If a God got blind by your actions, Homura, you got too by your own desires. And that can be fatal to Madoka.
True or not, it was a risk. For her. She couldn't take it lightly then. That girl was right. She had to do something.
- So... - Her empty expression remained, but now she was truly listening to this girl Yuzu. - What your propose?
Yuzu laugh, raising from her chair. Standing her hand.
- For now, just a partnership. So, what do you say?
Back in Class
- Miss Akemi, you're late!
Oh well, she knew it would happen. Better just comply to it. - I'm sorry miss Saotome, I had a problem in my way here. I will go to my seat and take whatever punishment you see as fit. - She was smiling, but there was completly no feelings in her words.
- We will see it after classes. Now class! - She clasped her hands. Lost interest in whatever matter Homura had. - Who can tell me why man can't wear a pink shirt, even though they own girlfriend buyed it?! Even if it's a pretty color and matches they skin tone! Hikaru-kun?!
She pointed a crayon to him.
- H-heh?! I, I mean... Because it's a feminine color...?
- Who dictated that?! What in the world rules the color dynamics and use, and...!
And here she goes! Well, Homura just left it to be. The teacher would probably just pass two pages of paperwork and then she could be free to take care of her business personally. Given the way things are right now, she couldn't trust her minions to keep watch in Madoka's doing. Surveillance would become more rigid for the time been, so she had to end this punishment thing as fast as she could. Meaningless facade!
But it was needed to keep watch as close as she is in the life of Madoka.
Walking to her seat, she felt eyes following her, trying to be discreet, and it was more than one person. The first one was, obviously, Sayaka. Huh! She was inquiring herself some reason Homura would be late and whatever business she had in her way could mean something bad. She just couldn't go easy with that demon!
The other one, strangely, was Madoka. She didn't seem to be inquiring herself, at least like Sayaka. She looked more contemplative and curious. For her, Homura turned her face, meeting her eyes intentionally, just like this morning, keeping it as she seated. Madoka blushed hard, pretending to go back reading a book. Well, she tried to, but as she brought the book to her, she bumped in her case, making the pencils and other thing fall in the ground. She looked even more confused and got down to take her things, besides, obviously, hide her face from Homura, feeling ashamed.
Huh huh! Madoka was just so cute! That made Homura smile. A predatory and mean smile, but it made her happy to see Madoka aware about her existence, whatever the reason was there.
Homura inclined down, taking the eraser at her side. - Here. - Said, calling Madoka's attention, who had to look at her face, even though she was blushing. Homura was still smiling. - Be careful next time... Madoka.
- Y,Yeah! - Tried to say, diverting her eyes. - Thank you... Homura-chan.
- You welcome. - This time Homura tried to be more compassive, smiling more gently to her.
Madoka seated quietly, but couldn't help and looked again to Homura. She kept watching her, all she could, thinking Homura wouldn't notice. But she knew. She did enough teasing this time, but she knew Madoka was looking at her, deciding to simply enjoy Madoka's eyes over her.
- Now! Since that's sorted! We have news! Once again, we have a new student! Please, come in Miss Harimayoru!
Then she walked in. Everyone could see she was different from the usual, more like a high school girl. She seemed older, but what really seemed out of place was her blonde dyed hair and the unique uniform she was wearing. She walked in pretty confident too, as nothing was out of place.
She stop at the teacher's side, while she wrote her name in the board, looking at everyone.
Homura was watching her this time.
- Miss Harimayoru had family issues, so she had to stop going to school for a while. She's two years older than you guys. So please, welcome her well after so long she has been out!
- Hi there! - She said pretty clumsy, not losing time. -Nice to meet you all and... - Not so confident now that she was doing the talking. Without knowing what to say, she started to scratch her head, smiling nervous. - Well... I hope we all get along, right?!
She looked like a funny girl, Madoka could tell. Even though she was nervous, she wasn't trying to be formal or composed, more like trying to seem friendly.
- She looks like a nice girl, right? - Heard Hitome comment. Yes, she did.
Then, once more, she meet the eyes. No, not Homura's. This time the new girl. She looked back at her and, strangely, she smiled a full teeths smile to her, like... They were already friends. That didn't make her feel uncomfortable or ashamed, just made her wonder... Like, who was she? Once again, something was out of place. Did she know that girl? Couldn't tell for sure. But somehow... It made her in peace to see that smiling girl.
- Well, Miss Harimayoru, you... - Then she was stopped.
- Aaaah, sorry, but it's "Harunoyoru". You mind? - Then she took the crayon, wiping the wrong part and writing again. - Harunoyoru Yuzuko. But... - Then she turned again, smiling kindly. - Call me Yuzu!
- Oh, then, why don't you take a sit by Miss Akemi's side?
- Sure!
Then she walked in, sitting by Homura's side. - Hi again, Homura!
Homura only looked at her, without responding anything.
"Aaaah, the cold shoulder, huh!", she thought, narrowing her eyes. - Are you going to keep ignoring me?
- I told you before, I don't want anything to do with you. Wasn't I clear?
- Huuuh...
Flash Back
- So, what do you say?
Homura looked at that hand, standing up for her, waiting.
- You know, I was going to pass by the fact that you could see me and even that you knew all about those irregularities for now, but... - Then she looked at her eyes again. Intently.
- Huh? - Yuzu made a weird face.
- I cannot stop thinking how could you know all about Madoka. Not only the fact that she is a part of the Law of Cycles, but somehow you know too something about the existence of a past reality where there was no Law of Cycle and that Madoka was once before human too. So... - She narrowed her eyes. - How do you know those things?
- Hmmm... - Yeah, she knew it wouldn't be that easy! - Like I said, you don't see this world completely, so you couldn't see me coming and the kind of information I had access. How I got this information is my business, just like you have your own.
- Then we have nothing to talk about. I cannot know if you are not possibly one of those things trying to rip Madoka apart. You having so much interest in Madoka's whereabouts is at least suspicious. I cannot trust you to have anything to do with her safety.
- Look, I'm not asking for trust! Actually, I would be disappointed you did trust me at anything at all! But I ask is to have your support fighting those things that will come for Madoka.
- And your interest in this matter is...?
- Haa! - Yuzu put her hands in the waist, huffing. So tired of this conversation! - Like I said, I'm just paying my dept!
Even if it could be only that, it was just too dangerous.
- For now, everything seems just as it should be. No modification, no threat, no danger, except for you.
- That's about to change.
- Perhaps. Then, I will be prepared for anything that may come. Anything. For Madoka.
End of Flashback
- Yup! You made that clear!And I made it clear that you will need my help. I'm just keeping myself around until you see it.
- You seem pretty confident. - That wasn't a question. She was so sure Homura would need her. Ha!
- I am.
Homura looked at her. Yuzu was laying over the table, her arms as a pillow, looking back at her. - You don't know yet, but... We are already partners. We already are fighting for the same thing, just from different angles.
Homura said nothing, just staring as Yuzu enlarged her smile. - Right?
Then she looked away, watching class for once, but not really paying attention.
She had a lot to think. The Witchs, the risks for Madoka and that new girl. She was out of place, to say the least. But... somehow, she didn't seem to be lying. They seemed to be fighting for the same thing. Yet, she couldn't trust her. She had a feeling she couldn't.
Madoka couldn't stop herself from seeing the scene. They seemed to know each other. Were they friends or something? That was unusual, since Homura seemed to talk to nobody at all.
At the start of the lunch, Homura took her things and raised. Yuzu woke up, drizzling off, wiping the drool at the side of her mouth.
- Just remember...
- Eeeeh...? - She looked at her, dizzy. What she saying?
- Keep yourself away from Madoka. If anything happens, I will consider you the main responsible. And you wont like it. - The danger in her eyes wouldn't go off. The threat clear.
But Yuzu didn't feel shaken by it. When Homura was away, she only smiled. How ironic it all was.
Well, she had a lot to do, but first step taken!
She laid again in her arms, looking out the window. - Hehe! - She closed her eyes. - Almost forgot how good it was out here...
And she slept again, feeling safe and happy, for as long as it would last, yes... She was happy.