Done
Connor is rubbing his hands together. The weather has been taking a turn for the worse. It is still dry but the autumn temperatures are dropping fast. He is used to the temperatures in Mexico and this sudden drop makes him stay close to the fire in their camp. He is wearing layer over layer and he curses at the cold but still uses his mind to beat it.
The fire is rustling with the sounds of the flames licking the wooden logs, the night long before him. Miles, his dad and Charlie out there on a recon mission and not planned to be back for a couple of days. Leaving him here with Aaron and Priscilla already asleep, just like the old doc, to keep watch over them. And leaving him here with bitchy blue eyes. Rachel Matheson is sitting right in front of him, and he is stuck with her and her arrogant haughty self.
He watches Rachel. He had called her a psycho blonde that day in the first safe house his father had walked him too. His dad had called her a boatload of crazy. And men, they had not been wrong.
He wants to smack that disdain right out of her face. That look that tells him he is fucking nothing, mockery in her eyes for the dark joke he turned out to be, just like she had done from the moment he had left Mexico behind with his dad. She has never stopped.
Connor had thrown another sleeping bag on the ground for her a couple of minutes ago because they all needed everything to protect them from the cold. Rachel had refused to get the hell in, throwing him one of her looks of slight disapproval and disdain that never seems to leave her face. It is getting old very fast.
His jaw line strong and on edge and his eyes filled with the first wave of irritation at her royal bitchy highness. Not because he could care less if she would freeze to death or not, because he really could not care less. But because he was tired of watching Rachel act from her own standards of venom, hate and disdain. Not thinking or acting of feeling from the heart of her being a mother that should be there, fuelling her actions and words.
Connor had listened to his dad telling him how Rachel had almost blown herself and him into pieces with a grenade when she had showed up in his tent in Colorado. And maybe no one else was paying attention, but Connor has.
The psycho blonde in front of him was willing to blow herself up in front of his dad telling him one thing. Where Rachel had not been.
And that was with Charlie.
Maybe he was caring more about Charlie then he should. But her stubborn strength and refusal to give up have worked a way under his skin and into his heart slowly. Maybe Charlie did not understand how he understood her pain every time Connor watches her struggle with her mom.
Charlie had told him one, one night when her heart had been open and it had been the two of them near a creek in the dark, both their backs against a tree. She had told him once. How she had not been able to take care of her mom after weeks and weeks on the road in the miserable rain from Colorado to Willoughby.
Connor had watched her face change and her voice sounding had sounded so damn tired and small when she had told him how she had fed her mom. How she had taken care of Rachel who should have taken care of her. She told him how she took care of her mom when her mom had been disappearing to a place of just checking out. Not a mom to Charlie she needed in those impossible weeks.
He knows the only reason why Charlie is here is because his dad had gotten her from that bar after a shattering night of almost being raped and killed. Connor also knew that was one of the reasons why Charlie owed his dad and why she is fighting with loyalty at his side.
He remembers that conversation with Charlie now he is looking at Rachel. Not that Rachel ever listens. He has watched how Charlie had tried to tell her once after a long day. But Rachel had been too busy with her own hate for his dad to actually listen.
So maybe Charlie did not understand how he understood her pain. But he did. He still could see her, his own mom standing in the doorway of their home in Jasper when Miles had moved a hand on his shoulder, urging him to keep on walking. Away from her. His mom. Freckles on her cheeks in his memory, her amber golden hair close when he thought of her. Sometimes he picks up on something sweeter in the air around spring, brining him straight back to her.
He has watched how carelessly Rachel throws her daughter's heart in a corner to not look at it again when she is fired up enough to act from what she needs, what she wants. Leaving her and her family on a path in the damn woods. Killing his dad. Turn back the power. Walk to Colorado. Fuck Miles.
He has watched Charlie. Strong and never stopping to fight her fight. But under that mask an ocean of pain. Pain he knows. Pain of feeling not seen. Of not being enough. The months behind him have told him what she has lost, what she had to endure.
And now, when Charlie is not around and he is alone with Rachel. And her precious Miles is not around to stop him or slow him down he suddenly has enough. Enough of her willing to put her life on the line again with these deadly developing temperate around them, with her refusal to get into that damn sleeping bag because she is sitting on her throne of cool disdain and not listening to what it takes to survive.
Connor gets up from his place near the fire and is with her in just a couple of large steps. He grabs her arm and shoves her against a tree behind them. His arms work fast, his muscles make his movements harsh and fast. His muscles fuelled by anger and irritation that have been building up and taking form the day he met this bitch in Mexico.
'You will get in that sleeping back right this fucking second.' His fingers dig deep into her arm.
'And why would I do that..' Rachel's voice is laced in cold blue that matches the temperature around them. She raises her chin to look Connor straight in the eyes, a bridge between their difference in height.
'Because I am not going to watch you do one more self destructive thing. God, you are a psycho blonde. You always put what you need first. Do you even know how much your daughter needs you? Do you even know how fucking selfish you are?'
His darker eyes spit rage with his words. 'Or are you really that far gone you cannot even see that anymore?
Rachel flinches, not because of his large hand and rage in darker eys that keeps her in place against a tree. But because of what Connor is throwing in her face.
It is the truth.
'And I have been keeping my mouth shut, but I am done.' Connor's voice is dark and smoothly raspy with contained anger. 'And my dad might be afraid to open his damn mouth when it comes to Charlie but believe me, he fucking cares about her. And Miles has too much damn guilt for whatever the hell happened between the both of you to tell you this...'
Rachel's eyes filling now with some fear of so much rage and biting words from Connor. Hiding poorly the pain under it for words of truth on this autumn night.
Connor's voice is strong and low when he talks again. '...but you are going to stay alive, you are going to take care of yourself...for Charlie. For her. For once you will choose to stay alive instead of being your stubborn psycho you and stay alive for your apparent death wish.'
Only when he sees she has gotten what he said he lets her go. He looks at her one more time before he lets Rachel go. His breathing harsh in his chest.
Rachel looks wild and lost and pissed. And hurt. And Connor knows, with that small and fast twitch she carries around her mouth right before him, she knows he has spoken about a truth she rather not looks at.
But he does not care. He is done being the silent one, done with looking at everything that is happening in their little group. He is done not stepping up for Charlie who deserves that. He looks at the woman in front of him one more time, before he walks back to the fire. His rage in every one of his steps.
It is silent, the sky dark. The air cold. Connor moves back to his spot near the fire. His thoughts with Charlie. With his dad, out there with her and Miles. Wishing they were back, in one piece, here with him.
Connor finally hears Rachel get into her sleeping bag when he can feel the cold glare from her behind his back. He just sits in front of the fire, taking first watch. The rage silently flowing out of his body now. He thinks about his mom. With her freckles and her love and her deep honey amber brown hair he remembers so very clearly. From the woman who told him to step up for those who deserve that. He is a long way from home, from her. But he can still see her. He can still remember her and her strength. Her picture in the inside pocked of his jacket. He remembers her loving strength to take care of others and reach for others when they need you. And then he thinks about Charlie. Blue eyes and that dimple next to that wide grin of her she shows him every now and then. he knows she does not let anyone in that easily. He just has to show her he is worth taking a change and that he is willing to a friend to her when she needs one. He made a start tonight.
The cold air calms down his hot rage while he watches the flame of the fire.
Author's Note Because I like the idea of a friendship between Charlie and Connor it was one of my starting points from this prompts. On the show we watched Rachel doing a lot of things fuelled from hate. This piece was about those things and Connor finally having enough. We never saw that many interactions between Rachel and Connor on the show and I wanted to write one here. I also wanted to add some more back story for Connor. And for Charlie,taking a look back at those rainy weeks on the road with her mom to Willoughby from Colorado and the way she had to take care of her mother have impacted her. This piece was for prompt #48, Just get in the damn sleeping bag before we freeze and was written for the Orgy Armada. Thanks for reading! Love from Love