KERNAL QWARITCH! yelled the dude on the other end WE HAVE AN DISASTER ON PANDORA! THE NAVIS ARE KILLIN EVERYBODY!
OK said Qwarutch I must go there an fight the Navis . He was pissed that he couldn t watch porn anymore but he wanted revenge cuz the Navis blew up his spaceship an speared him in his robot. So he ran to the roof of his house and got in his little spaceship and took off for Pandora. It was a long flight so he put on You Could Be Mine by Guns an Roses (get it because that song was in The Terminator II which was also by James Cameron so its an injoke!) and flew to Pandora. As soon as he landed a Navi tried to shoot him but he took out his shotgun an blew there noggin off an blue blood went flyin everywhere.
A Sargant ran at him KERNAL QWARITCH THANK GOD YOU RE HERE! We were just chillin when all of a sudden the Navis ran in an started shootin everybody with arrows an spears an flyin on birds an shit! They killed a buncha the soldiers an we killed some but there too powerful ,Qwaritch!
Qwaritch saw a robot an got in it and went to war. He grabbed a buncha Navis an killed em but a lizard jumped on him. He took out his knife an cut its head off but the Nazi rider jumped into the robot an tried to kill him but he shot it with a shotgun an the Navi exploded everywhere an splattered blue blood everywhere in the robot. The robot messed up because the blood got in its systems so Qwarich yelled OH FUCK and he had 2 get out on his feet an ran off as the robot exploded like than big blimp the Nazis had.
A buncha Navis came in on birds an lizards an ran at Qwarich. COME TO POPPA YOU MOTHERFUCKERSSSS!!!!!! he screamed in anger as he fired his AK47 and shot a buncha Nazis and killed them as they fell offa there birds. Then a buncha Navis on horses came in and started shootin him an he nearly died as he dodged them all. Then Qwaritch ran off to a cave an got on his cell. He called a number and said I need help man. Could you come over to Pandora!? an he waited for a little bit when all of a sudden a drop pod landed (it killed some Navis too) and a robot guy came out it was Master Cheef! Master Cheef gunned down a buncha Nazis an then he ran over to Qwarick as they did that handshake like Arnold an Oppollo Creed did in The Predator. Then Qwaruch an Master Cheef kept shootin Navis an Master Chef shooted a horse an blew up the horse and the horse yelled as it got splatted all over the jungle. Good shootin Chef said Qwaritck as they kept on fightin.
But then the Beserker Navis came out with swords an shit an charged Master Chef an Qwarutch but the bersekers got blowen up by a rocket. Qwaich an Cheef looked over an it was ..Samus Arin! Hey Samus sed Cheef as he adn Qwarich ran over to greet him, Were fightin the Navis! You can count on me homies said Samus an they ran off to the rebuilt Hometree an stormed the place. Then Jake Scully came out and fought them! Jak was very angrey for the deths of his homies so he yelled AAAAAAAAR an ran at them. IM GONNA KILL YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKER QWARICH! But Qwarich fought Jak Scully an won. Jak run off but got blown up by Samus an Master Cheef.
Then they all ran into Hometree an found Neytri! Hey boys she said an then Qwarich left their history go as he, Master, Cheef, Samus an Neytri had a foursome an Qwaritch, Samus an MAster Cheef came all over the place. Then the Nazis surrendered an Qwaruch, Master Cheef an Samus all yelled WE SAVED THE DAY! Then they went home.